So I boosted last night :(

Praetor

FutureGuy wrote: »

I apologise if my story did not match your own high expectations of story telling. In order to become a better storyteller, I checked the last story you posted.

what’s up arse bandits,

I went in to specsavers on friday as my 2 year old daughter broke me visions , any way I walked over to the cheapest section picked up the first set i seen priced at 39 euro handed them to the clerk and was told my eye test was out of date of aprox a month I would need a test .

I was cool with that, I explained I have contact lenses and want to finish them up before i start up grading my prescription (also on me desk in work I have a free eye test voucher with 65 blips off a pair of specs). :P

I asked can i drop after work to collect me glasses .

He said NO I can’t see sell you them cause your prescription is out of date. I have bought glasses online many times, what’s the big ****n problem,
So I leave the opticians like father jack.
I’m walking around like ****n Jack Duckworth at the moment because of this butt pirate

I have taken many points on board, and I'm going to attempt to expand my vocabulary to include insightful phrases such as "arse bandits", "butt pirate", "me visions", "blips" and "me desk" :P

hehehehe, that'll teach him....

Lab_Mouse

FutureGuy wrote: »

I apologise if my story did not match your own high expectations of story telling. In order to become a better storyteller, I checked the last story you posted.

what’s up arse bandits,

I went in to specsavers on friday as my 2 year old daughter broke me visions , any way I walked over to the cheapest section picked up the first set i seen priced at 39 euro handed them to the clerk and was told my eye test was out of date of aprox a month I would need a test .

I was cool with that, I explained I have contact lenses and want to finish them up before i start up grading my prescription (also on me desk in work I have a free eye test voucher with 65 blips off a pair of specs). :P

I asked can i drop after work to collect me glasses .

He said NO I can’t see sell you them cause your prescription is out of date. I have bought glasses online many times, what’s the big ****n problem,
So I leave the opticians like father jack.
I’m walking around like ****n Jack Duckworth at the moment because of this butt pirate

I have taken many points on board, and I'm going to attempt to expand my vocabulary to include insightful phrases such as "arse bandits", "butt pirate", "me visions", "blips" and "me desk" :P

Is the above what they mean when they say you've been pawned?

TheMilkyPirate

Ha i like funny guys, Great post OP cheered up my sh!tty day no end.

freshcream

:D:D:D:D:D

ur a funny guy future

AdMMM

I love your writing style, not too dramatic and full of laughs that aren't forced .

r3nu4l

The first post in this thread will be Post of the day at this rate Well deserved too.

53 thanks right now! 20 thanks for the response to 'worst story ever.'

Nuri Sahin

*round of appluase*

Brilliantly excuted and told

c0rk3r

Elevate to epic status if you recorded it and recieved hate mail afterwards

Useful.Idiot

haha. who starts off a post saying "whats up arse bandits?" anyway?

dicey1664

haha wish l could have heard the fcukers reaction,priceless i bet:)

thecornflake

you are a hero , a ****ing hero. Wow , you legend. That is one of the funniest things I've heard ever !.

If i could shake your hand i would , hats off to you sir

Benzino

you sir are a legend!!

TheGod

Brilliant.

sofireland

I actually laughed out loud i was reading this earlier on my iphone, brilliant stuff OP!

ED E

Post of the year.

mink_man

Useful.Idiot wrote: »

haha. who starts off a post saying "whats up arse bandits?" anyway?

an uneducated simple person

skinheadsniper

brilliant

Creasy_bear

funniest things Ive read in a while

Dothehustle

i just want you to know i was in work the office was dead quite started to read your post. at the beging i was annoyed i was going to read it but i have to say i got to


I knifed the fcuker on kill 24. Right in the testicles. Take that. Right. In. The Testiculardios. No nuke. Sorry about that.

and it made my day
thank you sir

Ryan!

Thats a serious story

Ghandee

What a fcuking legend you are!
Excellent story, very well told!
I salute you

Paul MCM

I take my hat off to you. Id say the guy was going nuts at you. Im defo gona do this if someone asks me to boost with them.

stephenmarr

EPIC

The Shtig

You sir are a LEGEND!!!

thekid9

Legend:D

Everytime I see someone at this i send them a message calling them " a cheating ****"

I think we should put up a topic to name and shame the lads that are doing it, type in there usernames for everyone to see.

Everybody can send them a message online and give them a telling off..

Darksaga87

there is a player that messages me at least once every two weeks to boost with him.

Cant think of his name now as i never open his messages anymore.

I aggreed twice, on the premise that i went first, so i just knifed him and destroyed his tactical spawn thing. Then for good messure reported him, nothing done about him yet.

Nukem

Epic story - serves the little rat bags right.....you are a legend

stephenmarr

someone should try it but record it and post it up

Tommy_NDX

stephenmarr wrote: »

someone should try it but record it and post it up

Get to it tallon.

FutureGuy

Wow...150 thanks for a single post. Thanks all!

Since there is obvioulsy an audience for this sort of depravity, I shall attempt to capture such behaviour in technicolor!

This will allow me to fulfill my lifelong dream of posting a youtube video.