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Have you ever had depression?

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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Unless Irish girls have suddenly entered the matrix or gained a collective consciousness, I don't think any "one of the women" will be able to explain the phenomenon to your satisfaction...

    I'm asking specific girls here because not every woman has a shared consciousness as you put it.

    It's difficult for men to figure out this perspective because anorexia is more common in women.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    flyswatter wrote: »
    It's difficult for men to figure out this perspective because anorexia is more common in women.
    No, it's difficult for you to figure it out, not all men.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Aoibheann wrote: »
    And that's not something that's restricted to girls either. Seriously - I know some guys who haven't a pick on them but have themselves convinced that they're massively overweight. Too many people have such a distorted view of themselves, it's awful. :( But believe me, plenty of men meet the exact description you've mentioned, much as I'd wish to believe otherwise.

    I don't think you can narrow down exact specifics on why someone has an eating disorder - it surely differs from person to person depending on their own life circumstances. Control seems to be part of it for sure (as in, if everything else is going wrong, it's something that *you* have power over), but I can't say definitively why people have eating disorders, negative eating patterns etc.


    I totally understand Aoibheann. I was self conscious about my weight for a good while. I was in good shape at the beginning of hospital, decent enough but then with all the extra meds , I started piling on the weight.

    Exercise is one of the most important things cos it releases endorphins which make you feel good.

    IO, playing sport helped you right when you were down?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,808 ✭✭✭ohthebaby


    flyswatter wrote: »
    I'm asking specific girls here because not every woman has a shared consciousness as you put it.

    It's difficult for men to figure out this perspective because anorexia is more common in women.

    Sure you could say the same thing about women who've never experienced an eating disorder. It might be difficult for them to figure out the perspective of an ed suffer.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    jumpguy wrote: »
    No, it's difficult for you to figure it out, not all men.

    A bit harsh no?


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,383 ✭✭✭Aoibheann


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Exercise is one of the most important things cos it releases endorphins which make you feel good.

    Oh, I completely agree, it definitely saved me going mad on numerous occasions. However, I know plenty of people who suffer from depression (which would be fairly common alongside eating disorders) who can barely convince themselves to leave their homes, let alone get any exercise. It's hard to motivate yourself when you're in that kind of place. TBH, it's hard enough to motivate oneself most of the time even without circumstances going against you!


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    flyswatter wrote: »
    A bit harsh no?
    I'm sorry man, but how so exactly?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,808 ✭✭✭ohthebaby


    flyswatter wrote: »
    A bit harsh no?

    Not really cos you kinda generalised a bit there! Some men would have suffered / are suffering from an eating disorder therefore comprehend the issue and all that's involved quite well.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,164 ✭✭✭Konata


    Aoibheann wrote: »
    Oh, I completely agree, it definitely saved me going mad on numerous occasions. However, I know plenty of people who suffer from depression (which would be fairly common alongside eating disorders) who can barely convince themselves to leave their homes, let alone get any exercise. It's hard to motivate yourself when you're in that kind of place. TBH, it's hard enough to motivate oneself most of the time even without circumstances going against you!

    OH HAI :P

    That describes me fairly well. Luckily I've past the part where I'm too scared to even leave my house but I still have massive problems motivating myself to exercise a lot of the time. I WANT to exercise so badly but no matter how much I want to, it's still extremely difficult for me to actually do it?

    I know that sounds weird but that's what it's like and it sucks. Exercise IS fantastic for the mood but when you're depressed it can be very hard to actually partake in any physical activity.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,248 ✭✭✭Slow Show


    flyswatter wrote: »
    A bit harsh no?

    Telling it like it is tbh. I sincerely doubt anyone here is trying to act harshly towards you, you just seem grossly uninformed/unaware of some things which are fairly common knowledge. But you might as well ask and broaden your horizons instead of staying quiet and not knowing, there's no need for mental health to be more taboo than it already has been.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,383 ✭✭✭Aoibheann


    Konata wrote: »
    OH HAI :P

    That describes me fairly well. Luckily I've past the part where I'm too scared to even leave my house but I still have massive problems motivating myself to exercise a lot of the time. I WANT to exercise so badly but no matter how much I want to, it's still extremely difficult for me to actually do it?

    I know that sounds weird but that's what it's like and it sucks. Exercise IS fantastic for the mood but when you're depressed it can be very hard to actually partake in any physical activity.

    We'll go, I promise! Once these fecking exams are over, we'll go.

    Sure look at me! I'm (apparently!) grand and I can't get the will to exercise, what hope does anyone else have? :pac:


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,889 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    flyswatter wrote: »
    It's difficult for men to figure out this perspective because anorexia is more common in women.

    I'm going to let people in on something here. I posted it in another forum back at the very start of the year. I think it's become relevant to this discussion. It might broaden your understanding, it might not. Anyway.
    I came in here to confess something that was making me feel guilty. I made it my mission for this month to get my eating habits under control. I tend to binge on chocolate a lot. I'm at least a stone heavier than I'd like to be. Not terrible, but over-weight nonetheless. I've decided to give up drinking for the next six weeks as well in the hope that I'll stop eating take-aways for soakage on nights out. The idea is to lose about 7.5 kg over the next few months.

    I only lasted two and a half days. Tonight I opened a tin of Quality Street and ate a fecking pile of them. Once I finally took a break and stopped eating the guilt started to sink in. And then I felt a sudden urge to do something stupid. For a minute or two I was considering making myself get sick. Now, I didn't do it, or even begin to, but just realising I was even thinking about it has left me a bit shocked.

    I felt fat. I felt I should have had a six-pack and permanently obvious muscles. I thought I couldn't have these things because I was weak and liked to binge on chocolate. I didn't feel strong enough to just control my appetite, and I was very close to making a huge mistake.

    Something stopped me. Some little moment of clarity/sense, I don't know. I've taken some advice from the fitness forum and some other posters on this site. I've researched some exercise programmes and started eating a bit better. I have good weeks and bad weeks. The last fortnight, with Easter and everything, hasn't helped!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Aoibheann wrote: »
    Oh, I completely agree, it definitely saved me going mad on numerous occasions. However, I know plenty of people who suffer from depression (which would be fairly common alongside eating disorders) who can barely convince themselves to leave their homes, let alone get any exercise. It's hard to motivate yourself when you're in that kind of place. TBH, it's hard enough to motivate oneself most of the time even without circumstances going against you!


    Yep, it depends on the person.

    My determination as a child shaped the person I am today.

    My old doctor compared 2 identical twins, both had Schizophrenia.

    On the same medication. One kept in shape, the other got obese.

    I would have got clinically obese but I ended up only close to obese.

    One twin had more determination, the other didn't.

    So you know, depends on the person.

    Glad, everything worked out for me. I feel incredibly lucky and I'm grateful everything seemed to work out in the end. :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,321 ✭✭✭Jackobyte


    Just to let everyone know there is a Darkness into Light 5km walk on all over the country this Saturday morning at 4.30am for the Pieta House (late tonight in other words!). There's one in Dublin, Cork, Limerick, Ennis and Galway. Online registration is now closed but you can register on the morning if you go early! I'll be doing the walk here in Kerry with my friends. We finish work at 4am and are going straight there! It's safe to say we'll sleep soundly when we get home!

    http://darknessintolight.pieta.ie/Index.html

    Damn, I want to do that now but I can't get my parents to bring me in.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,383 ✭✭✭Aoibheann


    Most people I know will tell you I'm one of the most determined people they know. Funny how it doesn't always help things though. :/


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    I'm going to let people in on something here. I posted it in another forum back at the very start of the year. I think it's become relevant to this discussion. It might broaden your understanding, it might not. Anyway.



    I felt fat. I felt I should have had a six-pack and permanently obvious muscles. I thought I couldn't have these things because I was weak and liked to binge on chocolate. I didn't feel strong enough to just control my appetite, and I was very close to making a huge mistake.

    Something stopped me. Some little moment of clarity/sense, I don't know. I've taken some advice from the fitness forum and some other posters on this site. I've researched some exercise programmes and started eating a bit better. I have good weeks and bad weeks. The last fortnight, with Easter and everything, hasn't helped!


    Yeah, I can empathise with that, it ruined my confidence too cos I thought I was fat.

    I ate a lot for a good while, cookies, chocolate, sugary stuff, and didn't exercise cos I was depressed.

    I'm not saying men don't have body issues. Anorexia is far less common in men though right?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,756 ✭✭✭IHeartChemistry


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Yeah, I can empathise with that, it ruined my confidence too cos I thought I was fat.

    I ate a lot for a good while, cookies, chocolate, sugary stuff, and didn't exercise cos I was depressed.

    I'm not saying men don't have body issues. Anorexia is far less common in men though right?

    Not far less common. Just far less noticed and reported. I heard stats in the radio last year that eating disorders were becoming higher in men than in women. Most men are just ashamed to admit they have one so less cases are being reported and treated.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,383 ✭✭✭Aoibheann


    flyswatter wrote: »
    I'm not saying men don't have body issues. Anorexia is far less common in men though right?

    Apparently for every 4 women with anorexia, there's one man suffering from it. This is supposedly a huge increase from what it was before (one for every ten or so), so if anything it's on the up in men moreso than women, which is worrying.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 543 ✭✭✭CK2010


    sometimes even if you do have the determination exercise it may still not have much effect though. il feel great doing it and be happy walking out of the gym but once im home its back to square one. and i do swimming one day a week, yoga once a week, pilates once a week, 2 hour gym sessions three days a week and hill/mountain walking the odd day off. dont get me wrong, its great to feel healthy and i do feel happy straight after a workout but for some people it doesnt have the happy effect that people tell you it will. maybe it will soon, sure even if it doesnt at least i have nice toned legs! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,590 ✭✭✭Pigwidgeon


    I doubt it. It's just less reported because of stigma relating to men and eating disorders. Just because they don't seek help it doesn't make their problems any less significant or real.

    It's people who insist that men don't suffer from the same mental health problems as women that add to the stigma and as result discourage men from seeking help as they may feel that it isn't a real problem or they will be judged.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Anorexia is far less common in men though right?
    Yes, it is, according to this article.

    However, it should be taken seriously in both genders, and does occur in both genders. Boys have been subject to far less research than girls, according to this article.
    The study said: "While there has been considerable attention to factors predicting eating disordered behaviour among adolescent girls, much less has focused on adolescent boys."

    This is despite the fact that the levels of body dissatisfaction exhibited by boys and girls with eating disorders are similar, it added.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Am I appearing too overconfident here? Arrogant?

    It's near exam time and I'm feeling really good today and everytime I've been out in college and away from my parents it's been fine cos they expect me to do everything now that I'm feeling good.

    It's just the way I am and can't change that.

    Seriously, if you asked any of my friends I haven't told about this did they think I had a serious psychotic illness I think they'd be pretty shocked to be honest.

    I'm a normal guy and there is a misconception around that all Schizophrenics are dangerous in certain countries where there is stigma, particularly America.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    I'm kinda late for this conversation and shizz..

    But wow, Flyswatter, no offence, but half of the things you say are so wrong that they don't even require facts to prove it..

    You seem to look on many mental health issues as a "female" thing.. :confused: You said you suffered from schizophrenia, I think, so does that make it a "male" thing? Because judging by your posts, you're going on hear-say, so technically, I could post again next week and say I think schizophrenia is a male thing because I heard of someone who has it..


  • Registered Users Posts: 711 ✭✭✭ihavequestions


    Jackobyte wrote: »
    Damn, I want to do that now but I can't get my parents to bring me in.

    I'm lucky I live close enough to where it starts ! I finished work early and am now planning to just stay up until it! I told the people at work about it and they were in shock, they have never heard of any fundraising going on for sucide and self harm prevention, they couldn't praise the whole thing enough. This is why events like this walk should take place more often- to spread awareness and ultimately lift the stigma attached!

    I have been following this thread closely for the last few days and I agree with a lot of the things that are being said. I love how open everyone is being here and I really do hope this openness can one day transpire to the rest of the world , and people won't think you're an attention seeker/ freak if you admit to self harming or having an eating disorder.

    I have never been to the doctor , or actually spoken to anyone about my feelings before. I don't think I suffer from a mental illness, though I do have very bad thoughts often. I do know a lot about the self harm side of things, as I have been self-harming since I was 14. Even writing that I feel like, I don't know, you all are going to think I'm an attention seeker. I know the feeling it gives- it makes you feel in power, if everything else is going shít at least you can control something and feel something else. It's an escape. The pain you feel the days following the cutting are the same, everytime you touch it you are reminded that you can control SOMETHING. I don't know if thats how it is for everyone, but that's how it is for me.

    I so think I'm happier now in some ways though. I've had a pretty shít few months, like really bad, but I know that I will have a whole new start in a different country come September. I feel more motivated, more determined. I want to start my course in September a new, more confident person, and I think I may be on my way to becoming that person.


  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,889 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Am I appearing too overconfident here? Arrogant?

    I don't think you're coming across as either of those things. :) You're clearly curious and enthusiastic. I said it earlier, it's great to see people sharing and learning about mental health.

    Maybe uninformed would be a better word. Like, you've your own personal experience and you've met others with different issues as well. I think you just need to do a bit more background reading to go with that experience. See things from a research point of view. Supplement what you already know, clarify things you're not sure of. It puts those individual stories into a wider context.

    To be fair, I only started to really learn this stuff after a few years in college. Courses, talks, presentations, counselling appointments, reading on the Internet, etc. You'll pick it up bit by bit.
    flyswatter wrote: »
    I'm a normal guy and there is a misconception around that all Schizophrenics are dangerous in certain countries where there is stigma, particularly America.

    Nothing to do with you having schizophrenia. :) Awareness of misconceptions is important, no doubt about that. I've just tried to challenge a few of the misconceptions you've put forward about illnesses and gender. Hope you haven't minded that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,659 ✭✭✭unknown13


    There is two short things I would like to say on this issue. Firstly, I have never had depression or been to a professional in relation to depression. I know how depression can effect people and I know that it can be very serious at times.

    Secondly, Stigma is something that people with all kinds of long term illnesses and disabilities have to deal with everyday. There is so much stigma in society today it is crazy, people should be afraid that they will get looked down upon for having an illness or disability.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Noel2k9 wrote: »
    I'm kinda late for this conversation and shizz..

    But wow, Flyswatter, no offence, but half of the things you say are so wrong that they don't even require facts to prove it..

    You seem to look on many mental health issues as a "female" thing.. :confused: You said you suffered from schizophrenia, I think, so does that make it a "male" thing? Because judging by your posts, you're going on hear-say, so technically, I could post again next week and say I think schizophrenia is a male thing because I heard of someone who has it..

    Noel, did I ever say Schizophrenia was exclusively male?

    Maybe take another read through this thread again and look at Degausser's posts in particular.

    She dealt with it a bit differently but it sounded just as bad as mine if not worse. When she self harmed she was in much greater danger than I ever was. I made one serious suicide attempt. I was kicked out of a school because of it. I try not to think about that. Part of the past now, part of who I am. That's what gives me such mental strength.

    I was luckier in the long run.

    All I'm saying is that I perceive men and women to deal with stuff differently.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Noel, did I ever say Schizophrenia was exclusively male?

    Maybe take another read through this thread again and look at Degausser's posts in particular.

    She dealt with it a bit differently but it sounded just as bad as mine if not worse. When she self harmed she was in much greater danger than I ever was. I made one serious suicide attempt. I was kicked out of a school because of it. I try not to think about that. Part of the past now, part of who I am. That's what gives me such mental strength.

    I was luckier in the long run.

    All I'm saying is that I perceive men and women to deal with stuff differently.

    I don't think you understood my post.. at all..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,625 ✭✭✭flyswatter


    Noel2k9 wrote: »
    I don't think you understood my post.. at all..

    Nah, I did.

    I know a lot about mental illness and I'm just curious about anorexia really.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,919 ✭✭✭Grindylow


    flyswatter wrote: »
    Nah, I did.

    I know a lot about mental illness and I'm just curious about anorexia really.

    Maybe just phrase it a bit differently or something so! I don't mean to offend you but saying it's more of a male/female thing just kind of attaches a greater stigma to some mental health issues!


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