Rumours in workplace

mia1

Hey guys, I just found out that someone who I don't even know at work has been spreading a story about me. I have a feeling they heard about the situation 3rd or 4th hand outside of work and as stories go someone along the line added in their own bit to make the gossip more juicy. Did this ever happen to you? What did you do? Any advice on what I should do?

xw2lj9uspm1eyh

Start even more outrageous rumours about them.

Nervous Wreck

Everyone in work thinks I'm riding my boss purple monkey dishwasher.

InkSlinger67

*Puts on leprauchan mask*

Burn 'em!!!! Burn 'em all Ralphy!

Ridley

You don't know them, what do you care?

Richard Dower

^OP...what was the rumour again?....if it gets outta hand, address it direct, call an informal staff meeting, threathen legal action....slander et al, if they are sending emails and using the workplace to spread written liable, you have a case.

Sure they'll think you're a bitch, better that then being labeled a slag.

mia1

mendusa wrote: »

Start even more outrageous rumours about them.

Thanks for the reply but I don't really want to sink to their level.
I am tempted to confront them (anyone ever do this? How did they react?) but we're not back at work until the 4th so maybe instead of dragging it all back up again then maybe I should just ignore it?
Why are people so F***ing horrible??!!:mad:

mia1

Ridley wrote: »

You don't know them, what do you care?

I don't know them but I obviously know people that they have told. I care because it's my reputation being blackened for something I did that got totally exagerated!

bonerm

Thanks to a rumour people in work now think I'm Jewish. I find this very offensive as I'm actually a Satanist.

Pushtrak

They'll deny it, neither of you will get anywhere but just more annoyed with each other. Or, you could not say anything, end up getting annoyed enough to the point you feel you have to say it, and you get what I said at the start of the post.

Or I'm wrong.

tudlytops

Can you be sure, 100% sure of who started the rumour?

Just because someone says, such and such told me, does not make it so.

cock robin

mia1 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply but I don't really want to sink to their level.
I am tempted to confront them (anyone ever do this? How did they react?) but we're not back at work until the 4th so maybe instead of dragging it all back up again then maybe I should just ignore it?
Why are people so F***ing horrible??!!:mad:

Just ignore them. Workplace gossip should stay in the workplace. They are probably jealous of you or something. If it gets worse or outa control invest in a gun.:D

Have you tried hitting them?



Sorry, this is my advice for nearly everything in After Hours..

mia1

Richard Dower wrote: »

^OP...what was the rumour again?....better that then being labeled a slag.

Ya got the jist of it anyway!
It has never been said directly to my face until someone got drunk and mentioned it, so don't think there is any point in going to anyone in work about it!

Dudess

Richard Dower wrote: »

Sure they'll think you're a bitch, better that then being labeled a slag.

Oh of course - it's far better to be labelled a nasty person rather than a woman who likes casual sex.

davyjose

mia1 wrote: »

Ya got the jist of it anyway!
It has never been said directly to my face until someone got drunk and mentioned it, so don't think there is any point in going to anyone in work about it!

Man, your Casual Fridays are AWESOME!!!!

mia1

Dudess wrote: »

Oh of course - it's far better to be labelled a nasty person rather than a woman who likes casual sex.

The casual sex part doesn't bother me so much, it's the part they added on to story:rolleyes:
Surely I wouldn't be seen as nasty for confronting a person who is spreading a story concerning me that they have no factual basis for?

Richard Dower

Yeah but what was "blown out of porportion"?, did you blow three guys at the Xmas office party while photocopying yer vag and handing out prints to staffers?

Or did you snog one guy and he told everyone you shagged....too many variables!

Dudess

Mia, my comment was tongue-in-cheek.

Richard Dower

mia1 wrote: »

The casual sex part doesn't bother me so much, it's the part they added on to story:rolleyes:
Surely I wouldn't be seen as nasty for confronting a person who is spreading a story concerning me that they have no factual basis for?

:eek: wait...you had casual sex?....you slag! :mad:

Pushtrak

mia1 wrote: »

Surely I wouldn't be seen as nasty for confronting a person who is spreading a story concerning me that they have no factual basis for?

Among the said persons circle of friends, you'd be anathema. But, then, (to be blunt) that may already be the case. Herd mentality, y'know.

Among the brain-functioning, there shouldn't be any problems.

mia1

tudlytops wrote: »

Can you be sure, 100% sure of who started the rumour?

Just because someone says, such and such told me, does not make it so.

Yea after asking around the finger has been pointed at 1 person only. They are so pathetic it seems they went around every department that they knew someone who worked their and told anyone willing to listen!

mia1

Richard Dower wrote: »

:eek: wait...you had casual sex?....you slag! :mad:

I can see you being banned for that so just to say Mods I can sense he was joking (I hope:o) and no offence was taken/

Pushtrak

Richard Dower wrote: »

:eek: wait...you had casual sex?....you slag! :mad:

Shaddap with the jealousy.

mia1 wrote: »

Yea after asking around the finger has been pointed at 1 person only. They are so pathetic it seems they went around every department that they knew someone who worked their and told anyone willing to listen!

Well, the brain functioning/those who know you will dismiss the claims. And if there are neither of those in your workplace, then that workplace is a lost cause. Somewhere to just ignore 'em all.

Richard Dower

7 posts and oh so mod savvy....hmmm. At most i'll be banned from posting on this forum or two weeks from Boards in general.

tudlytops

mia1 wrote: »

Yea after asking around the finger has been pointed at 1 person only. They are so pathetic it seems they went around every department that they knew someone who worked their and told anyone willing to listen!

I can't stand roumers, the people who start them and the ones who repit them.

So i would get as many of those people who pointed the finger and the "acused" sort of speak and ash him/her directly.

Pushtrak

tudlytops wrote: »

So i would get as many of those people who pointed the finger and the "acused" sort of speak and ash him/her directly.

Thats good advice, but be careful. Get too many to say something and it'll be suspicious. Yer one will figure out it was said back to you. You don't get people individually getting a conscience like that. Maybe get as many to do it as one collective group. That'd make it less supsicious. As if they had a chance to talk about it.

I'm a devious one, me.

mia1

Richard Dower wrote: »

7 posts and oh so mod savvy....hmmm. At most i'll be banned from posting on this forum or two weeks from Boards in general.

Hmmm what?
I work in an office, I spend half my days on boards. What exactly are you getting at here!
Jaysus this situation arose from people jumping to their own conclusions, don't really need anymore of that thanks.
And to think I was only sticking up for you too, Gos my faith in the human race has taken an al time low this weekend.

Pushtrak

mia1 wrote: »

Hmmm what?
I work in an office, I spend half my days on boards. What exactly are you getting at here!

I presume that any banning he'd get is a slap on the wrist.

Richard Dower

^ OFGS!....you're faith in human kind is crushed?....little OTT imo, you swear i kicked your puppy. As to your dilema, it's tricky....rumours are never nice, but that's the point of them.

You should try confront it head on imo, get to the motivation behind the rumour....expose that and you'll expose in person in question.

mia1

Pushtrak wrote: »

Well, the brain functioning/those who know you will dismiss the claims. And if there are neither of those in your workplace, then that workplace is a lost cause. Somewhere to just ignore 'em all.

Yea I thought those that I considered good friends would have tried to put a halt to the rumours, instead they didn't even inform me of them so I could put things right. Ya can't really trust anyone can ya!
I'm thinking it might be best to ignore it, it's probably a good thing we're not back at work for a while, will give me time to make a rational decision.

Richard Dower

Pushtrak wrote: »

I presume that any banning he'd get is a slap on the wrist.

Nah, i'd just bet booted out of the AH forum, as it's not my usual posting place. So'k.....

mia1

davyjose wrote: »

Man, your Casual Fridays are AWESOME!!!!

Not quite!
This was revealed outside of work! What a way to ruin a night out but glad I found out at the same time.

tudlytops

Pushtrak wrote: »

Thats good advice, but be careful. Get too many to say something and it'll be suspicious. Yer one will figure out it was said back to you. You don't get people individually getting a conscience like that. Maybe get as many to do it as one collective group. That'd make it less supsicious. As if they had a chance to talk about it.

I'm a devious one, me.

I'm as direct as they come, so
I would simple say, these guys here say that you said this about me, what have you got to say? simple no messing about.

Pushtrak

mia1 wrote: »

Yea I thought those that I considered good friends would have tried to put a halt to the rumours, instead they didn't even inform me of them so I could put things right.

Them not telling you may have been a not wanting to upset you type thing. And they might have told whoever started the rumour off. Or else, whoever it is is a mean ______ and your friends didn't want to start something on said hellbeast.

pebbles21

Ok OP ,what really happened ? and then we can beef it up a bit more here?;)and tell YOU what went on !

mia1

tudlytops wrote: »

I'm as direct as they come, so
I would simple say, these guys here say that you said this about me, what have you got to say? simple no messing about.

Yeah so am I and that's why that fact people are taking behind my back is hurting me so much I think.
The thing is the people that confirmed who told them told me in confidence and wouldn't want me to reveal who told me!
I suppose without that backing it would be difficult to confront them, I'm scared they'll just deny it and I'll be left standing there like a looney and those who didn't hear the rumour in the 1st place will want to know what I was accusing them of.....
I really just don't want them to get away with it!

mia1

Richard Dower wrote: »

get to the motivation behind the rumour....expose that and you'll expose in person in question.

You see this is the thing, I can't work out why they would spread this about me! I've never spoken to them in my life....I'm not even sure if I know their face but if it is the person I'm thinking of they are just an immature loudmouth who likes the sound of their own voice.

mia1

Richard Dower wrote: »

Yeah but what was "blown out of porportion"?, did you blow three guys at the Xmas office party while photocopying yer vag and handing out prints to staffers?

Or did you snog one guy and he told everyone you shagged....too many variables!

Well it was more similar to the second situation:p
As i said I work in an office and spend half my time on Boards so no doubt others there do too so I can't say exactly what the situation was sorry.

Pushtrak

Then, I hope the screen name you are using is a pseudonym. Not doing so would be relatively noobish.

(Maybe I just have paranoid tendencies.)

tudlytops

mia1 wrote: »

Yeah so am I and that's why that fact people are taking behind my back is hurting me so much I think.
The thing is the people that confirmed who told them told me in confidence and wouldn't want me to reveal who told me!
I suppose without that backing it would be difficult to confront them, I'm scared they'll just deny it and I'll be left standing there like a looney and those who didn't hear the rumour in the 1st place will want to know what I was accusing them of.....
I really just don't want them to get away with it!

So we back to the can you be 100% sure, if they aren't willing to back you up, maybe the roumer is about the other person.

Maybe the real roumer is that they are saying stuff about you, and the reason they would not back you up its because it isn't true.

Hope it made sense

This is why i don't lessen to gossip, ever.

mia1

Pushtrak wrote: »

Then, I hope the screen name you are using is a pseudonym. Not doing so would be relatively noobish.

(Maybe I just have paranoid tendencies.)

ooohhhh s***!!


Only messing, thanks for your concern anyway;)

tudlytops

mia1 wrote: »

Well it was more similar to the second situation:p
As i said I work in an office and spend half my time on Boards so no doubt others there do too so I can't say exactly what the situation was sorry.

Half you time on bards, can i have a job like yours

mia1

tudlytops wrote: »

So we back to the can you be 100% sure, if they aren't willing to back you up, maybe the roumer is about the other person.

Maybe the real roumer is that they are saying stuff about you, and the reason they would not back you up its because it isn't true.

Hope it made sense

This is why i don't lessen to gossip, ever.

No I can see what you're getting at here but the rumour was definitely about me because as I said some of it is true and I think too many people have pointed the finger at the same person for it not to have been them. I know without backing of others I will need to be extremely careful confronting them.

Maybe I'll just let it go, I don't think I have the confidence to confront them in front of others and don't think there's much point confronting them on their own as it will only be another story for them to twist.
Thanks for your replies guys, I'm pretty upset over it all, dreading going back to work knowing what people now think of me and just needed somewhere to vent.

mia1

tudlytops wrote: »

Half you time on bards, can i have a job like yours

If your workmates aren't d****, I would consider a swap at this moment:p

Pushtrak

tudlytops wrote: »

Half you time on bards, can i have a job like yours

Bard day at the office.

Agent Smith

i think at this point you should tell us all what really happened.

Pushtrak

Just please, don't tell us if it involved another girl and a cup. Thanks.

mia1

Pushtrak wrote: »

Just please, don't tell us if it involved another girl and a cup. Thanks.

Even the rumour wasn't THAT bad, thankfully!:p

I think I made it pretty clear what actually happened, it was no biggie to most people and anyone who would judge me on it can go get a life.
It's what was added to the story that people may now believe is what is upsetting me and it's something I ain't willing to share on here, sorry!

tudlytops

mia1 wrote: »

Even the rumour wasn't THAT bad, thankfully!:p

I think I made it pretty clear what actually happened, it was no biggie to most people and anyone who would judge me on it can go get a life.
It's what was added to the story that people may now believe is what is upsetting me and it's something I ain't willing to share on here, sorry!

In that case go to work get up in front of everyone and out them right, end of roumer.

You did say you were a direct person

Bt the way I'm not spelling roumer right am I?

BOHtox

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Everyone in work thinks I'm riding my boss purple monkey dishwasher.

What the crocodile hat was that what you should do is follow your rubberduck................................