My Career in Standup Comedy (Londonderry)

carlinftw

RobbieBonham wrote: »

Who is this 'Bill Hicks'?

I thought you might say something like that... which is why I put a link to one of his videos in my post.

SASR

It's either a joke account or someone who'd look good on fire.

K-9

carlinftw wrote: »

I haven't heard of this Dylan Moran chap either.

carlinftw

SASR wrote: »

It's either a joke account or someone who'd look good on fire.

If it's anyone who's making joke accounts it's one of you! With that 'LonDerr' video. What is with you people claiming I'm joking or something... this isn't the first claim. There is no conspiracy here, you can take off your tinfoil hats now guys. I'm not in character as Norm either. Honestly I don't you know where you people get this stuff from. And then there's the posting of random youtube videos. I have a feeling one of the people who created the 'joke account' to troll me might be one of them. Or maybe it's a group effort? That wouldn't surprise me, considering how much the lot of you keep ganging up on me.

As for the last half of your remark, seek therapy. That's definitely not good to have built up inside of you.

K9: Why are you winking at me?

Shhhh...

(looks around)

Shhhhh... C'mere everyone, not you carlinwtf

lads, are ye ready for this...

If we stop postin...

And ignore his cries...

He'll go away...

Cos he won't be getting the attention he craves!

And he DOESN'T DESERVE all the good advice he's been given

Mr Mo

Mr Mo: Now, now, now what’s wrong?
Carlinftw: It’s not fair
Mr Mo: What’s not fair?
Carlinftw: I want to be a comedian so I went on stage and made a video about my first comedy act. But I want to be the best see, so I went onto boards.ie and showed people my video…
Mr Mo: Well what’s wrong with that?
Carlinftw: They didn’t like it
Mr Mo: Aww, they didn’t like it?
Carlinftw: No, they’re all stupid, all I wanted was some constructive criticism and all people did was hurl abuse at me.
Mr Mo: Well are some people not allowed to not like it?
Carlinftw: I guess so, but all they did was hurl abuse at me
Mr Mo: Yeah, you said that… why do you think people were hurling abuse at you?
Carlinftw: Well, in my opening post I called all the people in the republic free staters, then I said that people in Dublin were stupid, then when some people tried to give me advice I told them it wasn’t good enough.
Mr Mo: Oh, I think I see what the problem is… did you say you were sorry? And why did you tell people their advice wasn’t good enough? I mean, it’s not their fault.
Carlinftw: Yeah, I said I was sorry. I thought it was funny but obviously everybody else has a problem with their sense of humour! And the people giving me advice didn’t have any credentials, I mean all I wanted was somebody with some stage time that could give me some real advice
Mr Mo: Oh, so you’re too good for advice from ‘punters’ then?
Carlinftw: Yeah I am. Stupid punters wouldn’t know a joke if it hit them in the face!
Mr Mo: Wow, how selfish can people be, I mean not a single comedian willing to help you!
Carlinftw: Well there was this one guy Robbie, but I never heard of him! So obviously he’s not that good, I mean, I know everybody that there is to know in the business!
Mr Mo: Oh cool, so you know my favourite comedian ‘Dylan Moran’
Carlinftw: Who? Dylan Moran? Obviously he’s not that good if I’ve never heard of him!
Mr Mo: Ok… Hmm, ok, well, hmm…. Eh, Dylan is, well you know, kind of a very successful comedian
Carlinftw: OMG, your trolling me. Everybody does that. Boards is full of trolls!!! And they all gang up on me.
Mr Mo: Oh come on man, I mean really, ‘Dylan Moran’!!!
Carlinftw: Look at you. You’re such a troll. At least I have the decency to admit when I’m in the wrong!!!!
Mr Mo: Ok man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to troll you.
Carlinftw: Whatever, I’m off now, My career is taking off you know!
Mr Mo: ………….

frobisher

I kinda hope it's a faker. It'd be pretty genius imho. And if it's not a faker then we are staring into the very shallowest part of the human gene pool. I'm entertained either way. :cool::pac:

eth0_

RobbieBonham wrote: »

Who are those guys? I've never heard of Monty Pyton, therefore they must be sh1t.

RobbieBonham

eth0_ wrote: »

Who are those guys?

A young group of trollers from London town. Or 'town', if you live there.

FishNChipsNews

Hi guys, anonymous 'coward' here.

Just wanted to point out a few things. Although I think there is small chance the OP is a joke account, I think he might actually be the real deal.

Here's why. If you watch the video (and I'm pretty sure all of you have watched this monstrosity), you'll see that when he makes a 'joke', and he gets little to no reaction, he just seems to carry on regardless... for the duration of the video! There is a strong correlation between that and this thread... when people try to give him some honest advice and it's not what he's looking for... he just blatantly ignores it and carries on as if nothing happened!

I see that some people (like Mr Mo) have decided to take a more direct approach with him after losing patience with the guy. It's very evident that this is getting to him. I think deep down he knows his act is sh1t, he hasn't (and probably doesn't want to) come to terms with it... and this frustration is causing him to lash out at well.. pretty much anyone at this stage.

Devastator wrote:

He just comes across as some spoilt child. Kind of reminds me of 1 of them headcases on x factor that shout and scream at simon cowell that he doesn't know what he's talking about because they've been told by their granny and aunties their whole life they are brilliant....even though they sound worse than a cat being pulped in a blender!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll5ulWKbGmg

Skip ahead to 7 minutes in. Irony much, no?

Some other points worthy of note in that video (times given to avoid you all falling asleep! ):
One minute in - he talks about having a mental break down when he's 40. Some pages back he said he didn't reply a while back because he was 'down'.
One minute 15 seconds in - it seems like all he needs to keep his ego going is for a couple of people to like his work.

eth0_

FishNChipsNews - I don't think it's fair to post that video and slag him off for what he said in what is essentially a personal video blog.

FishNChipsNews

Eth0_ wrote:

FishNChipsNews - I don't think it's fair to post that video and slag him off for what he said in what is essentially a personal video blog.

Fair enough. I'll lay off slagging him. The video definitely is very personal, but it's also publicly available. I honestly don't know what he's thinking, posting stuff like that online. But then again, he did also post here on this forum with no hesitation to insult people only to expect good advice from professional comedians.

Mr Mo

Hmm, looking at that video it seems that carlinftw is going through some personal sh1t. That would explain the aggressivness on an internet forum.

But serously carlinftw, you have no idea who the people on this forum are. You could be offending any number of people who could make or break your career. You should at least appologise for your aggressive and condesending behaviour. I mean a lot of the people here still seem genuinely willing to help, I mean Eth0, the guy you were saying I was obsessed with just jumped in to defend you! After you argueing with him for so long. And robbie has proof that he has the stage time that means he could offer some really solid sound advice.

But really your behaviour has turned a lot of people against you. I mean a lot of people don't even believe you are the guy you say you are because of the possible damage you seem to be trying to do to your career. You need to have a long think about how your going to continue on boards.ie and if you are going to rage at everybody, or try get the advice that you were looking for.

eth0_

Mr Mo wrote: »

I mean Eth0, the guy you were saying I was obsessed with just jumped in to defend you! After you argueing with him for so long.

I am a lady!

carlinftw

I think I can safely say that I hate every single one of you. Even the mods are jumping in now, calling me the 'shallowest part of the human gene pool'.

The lot of you slag me because I haven't heard of an irish comedian's name. I've watched Black Books a couple of times, it's a good show. I just didn't recognise the guy's name. And then we have people trying to imply that I thought he was 'sh1t' because I didn't know who he was. That doesn't even make any sense!

All of your nonsense has made me feel like sh1t again. Which is why I haven't posted until now. I suffer with depression from time to time. There, I said it. It's the reason I want to become a professional comedian: to make others laugh and be happy. The lot of you just don't seem to want that. You'd rather be slagging me.

Speaking of which, I would consider posting that personal video of mine below the belt 'FishNChipsNews', although with the outright cowardliness you've shown previously, I'm not at all surprised.

Mr. Mo wrote:

But serously carlinftw, you have no idea who the people on this forum are. You could be offending any number of people who could make or break your career.

At this stage, I simply don't care. I don't need the likes of them. When I consider the way they have treated me on this forum, I realise they would have been of little help to me anyway in the industry.

eth0_ wrote:

I am a lady!

Please stop lying already. The kind of woman who has a username named after a unix network interface simply doesn't exist. Nice try though.

This will be my last post. It seems obvious to me that if I continue to try to salvage something good from this thread people will just make fun of me again. To all the doubters out there, I will make it. I'm determined to get into the industry. Sure it'll take time, but just you wait!

One last thing, to the idiots who keep PMing me on my youtube channel (I know it's some people here), please fuc|< off. Post your thoughts on my act in the video's comments if you want to talk about my act. And the people posting me a link to this thread in PMs... you people are fuc|<ing retarded as well! Of course I know about the thread, I posted it ffs!

Anyway, I'm Norm Winters, and you've been watching the Cabbage. Have a good evening.

rizzee

Bye

Devastator

good riddance

kumate_champ07

carlinftw wrote: »

All of your nonsense has made me feel like sh1t again. Which is why I haven't posted until now. I suffer with depression from time to time. There, I said it. It's the reason I want to become a professional comedian: to make others laugh and be happy.

to make yourself be happy or others be happy?

no1 rule of the internet is dont take anything said on message boards/forums personal, listen to advice but dont mind the abuse/slagging.

If you hadnt been so pompous at the begining things might have gone a different way. All I'll say is if its what you really want to do keep at it but dont be arrogant, be humble.

good luck.

RobbieBonham

carlinftw wrote: »

The lot of you slag me because I haven't heard of an irish comedian's name.

No, it started WAY before that...

carlinftw wrote: »

I suffer with depression from time to time. There, I said it.

So do I, and probably alot of others here. I don't feel the need to tell people they're liars, though (EDIT - or joke thieves, for that matter):

carlinftw wrote: »

Please stop lying already. The kind of woman who has a username named after a unix network interface simply doesn't exist. Nice try though.

Yes, Eth0_, how dare you know about stuff unique to the male psyche! Sure what would women know about computer interfaces? They've only been using them in offices since long before they were available in homes. That's no qualification! *

carlinftw wrote: »

I want to become a professional comedian: to make others laugh and be happy. The lot of you just don't seem to want that. You'd rather be slagging me.

Grud help him if he ever gets heckled then...

carlinftw wrote: »

I'm determined to get into the industry. Sure it'll take time, but just you wait!

Time to sort out the attitude problem, for a start.

carlinftw wrote: »

you've been watching the Cabbage.

He ain't wrong there.


*There is the possibility he was just trying to make a joke there, but if so, it was lost in the vitriol of the rest of the post.

eth0_

Well, that was awkward! And I *am* female.

koHd

A comedian that reacts very badly to criticism/heckling? Not going to end well. Number one rule of standup is take the piss out of yourself from every possible angle so as you're used to it by the time you do a live show. Half of comedians make their living and jokes from just that rule alone.

grames_bond

I have to admit that carlinftw really did make me laugh.......when he accused robbie bonham of stealing from bill hicks!! that is easily the most laughable thing i have ever heard! too bad his attitude is rotten....carlinftw if you are still reading this: the comedy scene is political as f*ck, don't burn bridges before they're built!

Mr Mo

That was funny.
I kind of feel sorry for the guy though.

Sorry eth0_

elshambo

grames_bond wrote: »

carlinftw if you are still reading this: the comedy scene IN IRELAND is political as f*ck, don't burn bridges before they're built!

FYP
Im afraid thats why it has plenty of muppets who are the friend of a friend etc
& no he has done himself no favours

Methinks time for the:



*& no not everyone in it is a muppet, most(?) are not obv

kumate_champ07

elshambo wrote: »

Methinks time for the:

I'd say its a bit late for that now! should have perhaps been locked a long time time ago..

FishNChipsNews

elshambo wrote: »

Methinks time for the:

I think someone wants to be a mod when they grow up.

No but seriously, when it's all over now you want it locked? Well actually you've probably wanted this locked since the first post. I don't know about other people but I at least found this thread entertaining. There's something positive for you to salvage carlinftw (if you haven't topped yourself by now).

Mr Mo

FishNChipsNews wrote: »

I think someone wants to be a mod when they grow up.

Troll much?...

FishNChipsNews wrote:

if you haven't topped yourself by now

You are sick!
Thats taking things a bit far man!

Dord

Ok fun and games for all! :rolleyes:

It seems that carlin is finished with this now and got all he can from it. I think the moral of the story is that you can't teach a young dog old tricks.... or something like that.

Carlinftw, if you want to open a new thread in the forum feel free to do so. I think this one has run it's course.