Trainwreck personal ad

Demonique

http://scot.extroverthost.com/lookingforawoman.htm

Such a classy, classy specimen of manhood

jaysusjones

What a catch

Coriolanus

Of course, welfare here does pay extra for children and so I can afford to bring up kids no problem. A woman with no kids of her own yet but keen to start a family would be ideal.

Wow. Just fucking wow.

orourkeda

Superb.

Considering some women end up Marrying men on Death Row, would it be any surprise if this bloke managed to bag himself a bride?

Holmer

Holy. ****.
I especially like the helpful hip size guide.
Just curious...how did you manage to stumble across his ad?:p

Demonique

Someone posted it on another forum I frequent

mud

oh god! the boxers pic :eek: aaaaaaaaaagh

*gouges eyes*

orourkeda

mud wrote: »

oh god! the boxers pic :eek: aaaaaaaaaagh

*gouges eyes*

He's got pretty impressive guns.

Doop

Brilliant!... Theres hope for us all yet!

I love the way hes willing to "take on" a 16 year old!
" child-bearing age (aged 16 to 40 is fine), " and the varying dates when it comes to his own description!


You frequent other fourms?!? :eek:

mud

orourkeda wrote: »

He's got pretty impressive guns.

all the better to shoot myself with

captainspeckle

thats my kinda guy, right there.

GLaDOS

The site structure itself would turn me off...

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Waist-to-hips ratio

Haha, brilliant...

He is a legend :P

Jesus Wept

Saw an ad before where the girl said she was:

'lookin for a fella whose 6' 2" or da same as meself'.

She was 5' 1".

magma69

That put a smile back on my face. Thanks for that. God bless the internet. Revealing the weirdest the world has on offer

thomond2006

Breast sizes I am not so fussy about - small, medium or large - I like them all. Really the best thing ladies can do here is to email me a photograph or two so that I can see for myself.

:pac::pac::pac:

junior_apollo

thomond2006 wrote: »

:pac::pac::pac:

I believe he should have phrased it as... Pics or GTFO!

bicardi19

damm I really thought I ticked all the boxes there until I read the part about wanting a non-smoker!!

Notorious

We should spam his inbox for the giggles :pac:

Cianos

The poor fella

smk89

With people like that on the market what chance do the rest of us have?

kittensoft1984

Ha Ha that is hilarious!!! I love it. The poor man! Im all for spamming the inbox too!!

happyfriday

bicardi19 wrote: »

damm I really thought I ticked all the boxes there until I read the part about wanting a non-smoker!!

Me to!! I'm gutted!!!

stovelid

Demonique wrote: »

http://scot.extroverthost.com/lookingforawoman.htm

How did you come across the ad? Did you find anybody better for yourself?

**Timbuk2**

AHH!!

DamoDLK

Now, theres a chap who knows what he wants, pity for him he's 49 years looking for it..

aine-maire

:eek:

No more words...:p

Valmont

He reminds me of Jeremy from Peep show.

Demonique

stovelid wrote: »

How did you come across the ad? Did you find anybody better for yourself?

Someone posted a link to it on another forum, dunno how she came across it though


Interesting in how his potential woman's teenage daughters are welcome, but not teenage sons.....

Snowie

there mor epeople like him :pac:

MayoForSam

What a guy, I expect his live-in mother has only recently passed away.

I like the bit about the waist size of his potential partner having to be a few inches less than his own (before the expected pregnancy). 'Highly educated' obviously means being pretty handy at maths and being a proficient user of a measuring tape .

**Timbuk2**

Oh jaysus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCG6VQ4Y86A

He starts talking at 2:20!

pmg58

Education: Obviously, I am a highly educated person and so a well-educated mature woman or a young woman with the potential to learn would be ideal. A woman reading this and able to send me emails can assume that the chances are that she is smart enough for my requirements.

How could any woman resist that?

The_Minister

Doop wrote: »

You frequent other fourms?!? :eek:

You knew what this was.

itac

There was a small part of me hoping that this was some "friend" of his taking the mick, and then I saw "the boxers" photo... shame there's no smiley for being almost ill!! Eugh! and looking for a woman from 16-40?! Talk about covering all bases there...

I thought this was particularly worrying...

"My woman's daughters would be particularly welcome but I won't allow a woman's teenage or older sons to move in with me as I don't want to have to deal with testosterone-fuelled conflicts with rival young men in my own household."

...does that mean that *if* some woman does have his kids, the sons will be hoofed out aged 12yrs & 364 days?!!

Surely the line about death to the Queen warrants treason though...?!
The internet is most definitely a wonderful, yet weird and occasionally disturbing "world"....:D

thatsa spicy

If this isn't a piss-take, that man is an utter utter prick. No wonder he's hasn't got married yet!

xzanti

Grrrrrr

For example, an ideal measurement for a woman might be if she had a waist of around 29 inches (74cm) and hips of around 39 inches (99cm) because 39 divided by 29 equals 1.34 which is easily bigger than 1.25.

geeky

oh good jaysus... that must be a piss-take... I mean, the boxers, the grammar, the table outlining the minimum and maximum waist sizes... if not, this man is truly crackers and about to regret venturing onto the interweb in search of love.

LD 50

Read some of the ****e that he comes out with.

My woman's daughters would be particularly welcome

I am not adverse to introducing a bit of polygamy (polygyny) into my life, so if, say, sisters, women friends or bisexual women partners wanted to share me and for us all to live together as one happy family, then I'd be all for that.

Incest? You'd really stooop that low to get laid.

Ages: Well I am 47 (in 2008) and my main requirement is that my lady be of child-bearing age (aged 16 to 40 is fine), and younger women have time to bear more children. The more children a woman could bear for me, the happier I'll be.

Education: Obviously, I am a highly educated person and so a well-educated mature woman or a young woman with the potential to learn would be ideal. A woman reading this and able to send me emails can assume that the chances are that she is smart enough for my requirements.

Yet you've been living of the dole for years now.

And don't forget the fine print way down the bottom;

No gay men, no transsexuals, no female impersonators. Genuine women only should apply!

MetalDawg

that cheered me up I gotta say. though I hope theres nobody stupid enought to answer his ad

Prof.Badass

xzanti wrote: »

Grrrrrr

Waist to hip ratio has actually been found to heavily influence how attractive a woman will be to men. Apparently a whr of 0.7 was found to be the most attractive.

uprising

http://scot.extroverthost.com/anticuffs.htm

Anti-handcuffs

Protective wear to slow down police speedcuffs

As I've said on another page, the police are issued with rigid handcuffs - a rigid bar (not a chain) connects the wrist braces and police officers can exert excruciating bruising force on the arrested person's wrists, and cut off the blood supply to the hands. I've considered this problem and here's my latest design for something that protesters can wear to help to counter these very dangerous handcuffs.
Design for wrist protector cuffs
Using 82mm diameter plastic plumbing pipe, I have made light-weight, discreet wrist protector cuffs (weighing around half a kilogram per pair) that should take the "speed" out of the police's speedcuffs in a police-arrest-protester situation. I am detailing here how to make such wrist protector cuffs so that you or anyone can copy my design and produce your own wrist protector cuffs - for your own use or for sale to protester colleagues or to the public.

No patent or copyright is involved here folks; it is my design and you are welcome to it. So get busy and,as we used to say in the cub scouts, "be prepared".


WTF did he get up to in the cub scout's:eek:, the "THUGS" in **Timbuk2** video will make these, the man is deluded, think I'll send him a "love" mail with some biatch's phone number on it, would an Irish girl fit his need's and be entitled to welfare?

Mossy Monk

A pisstake if ever there was one.

Warfi

MetalDawg wrote: »

that cheered me up I gotta say. though I hope theres nobody stupid enought to answer his ad

well he sounded keen so.....:(

MistyCheese

He reminds me of George Sodini.

Will we be looking at another situation like this if he fails to get laid?

jif

{some annomymous boardsie} "I think this is an ex getting back at...their ex"
{OP and most who've posted since} ohhhhhh didnt think of that!
{some annomymous boardsie} "maybe if we rang the number we'd find out if it was real?"

Good idea

andrew

ScienceNerd wrote: »

The site structure itself would turn me off...

Web 1.0. Such a turn off.

rainbowdrop

But.... but..... but....... HOW can a man like that be single?

I just can't understand it He sounds perfect in every way. That sexy Scottish accent, his manly physic, his desire to get married and have children

Oh yeah..... I know..... He is absolutely away with the f***ing fairies!!

Oh my God, if that's not a piss-take, he should be sectioned under the mental health act!!

orourkeda

Has he scored yet?

electrogrimey

Reminds me of this guy: http://www.break.com/index/lookin-for-a-girlfriend.html

WeeBushy

He's 47 and looking for a girld aged 16-24... What a paedo.