Awkward Moments....

Rondolfus

When you get caught in the bushes outside a convent. Face covered in chocolate, pants around your ankles and tears streaming down your cheeks... And as if things weren't bad enough you have to explain were the corpse that your sitting on came from... Awkward!

Or When you put a coin in the DART ticket machine during rush-hour and it rejects it for no good reason...you put it in again and it rejects it ....once more and it accepts it. You walk off whilst giving the machine an angry look, but everybody in the que behind you still hates your guts....Awkward!

NotSoDumbBlonde

Anyone arrive in work late, dying of a hangover, wrecked, thirsty, still a bit drunk........ and then look down and realise that they have 2 odd shoes on...!?

:-(

I think that might have been the same day I emailed a colleague and instead of typing "Need to discuss something with you - let me know when you have a sec", I typed "Need to discuss something with you - let me know when you have sex".

CRINGE and cue awkward moment when said colleague walks past (in what feels like slow motion) with the most confused look on his face.....

Most of my awkward moments actually happen in work!

Theta

Kazooie wrote: »

In work when you go for a sh*te and the bloke that was in before ya is just leavin and the smell is rank. The offender always avoids eye contact! Also embarrassing when you're the one that's dropped the am.. 'offensive package'

It worse when you go in and the smell is terrible and you do the deed and then when you are walking about someone walks in thinking, "Jaysus he is a smelly knacker". But but but it wasnt me it was the fella before me.

lynchpin

I agree with all of the most common awkward moments discussed previously but here is probably the most awkward moment of my life.

When I was around 18 I was in the local nightclub with some friends and the girl I was meeting with for the first time.

The place was busy enough and me and my lady friend went out on the empty dance floor for some slow dancing and started kissing.

Anyway, my friend got rat arsed drunk and needed a lend of my phone to send drunk texts to some girl as his phone was out of credit. He proceeded to try and slyly get my phone out of my pocket while I was kissing this girl.

I started to laugh and the laugh turned into a splutter and the splutter turned into a sneeze.

That's right folks, I snotted all over the face of a girl I was kissing on an empty dance floor while loads of people were watching from the edges.

My friend stumbled off with my phone, the girl just stood there with a blank expression on her face and I just wanted the ground to swallow me up

JoeFitz89

NotSoDumbBlonde wrote: »

When someone walks into a toilet cubicle - and you're in it - and the lock was broken......so you're trying to hold it closed whilst peeing - and YOU say sorry!

The exact same thing happend to me not in ireland thank god but in italy i ran a mile from the place!

Beau

When I was watching The Wire pretty much non stop for a few weeks I had a habit of talking like some of the characters from time to time. When I was queuing up in the bank with a friend we were messing about and I called him a 'nigger', he just stops, shakes his head and says 'man look behind you', realising that there must be a black person behind me I try to pretend it never happened and NOT look behind me but my mate kept at me about it that I had to acknowledge your man, that was awkward.

az2wp0sye65487

Micilin Muc wrote: »

I have cycling shoes which attach to the pedals of the bike. In Dublin city centre one day I had to stop the bike at the traffic lights which had just turned red. The bike stopped alright, but I forgot to take my shoes out of the pedals and I just fell really slowly and hard on to the pavement in front of the pedestrians who were crossing. They didn't know what I was on.

It was a bike. A bike.

useful_contacts

I am a faller- i have weak ankles and they sometimes just go from under me.

1. I was in a nightclub, spotted some friends on the dancefloor and waved and walked over at the same time, didnt spot a step, and fell on to the dancefloor. Worst part was the way i fell looked like i was bowing and i unded up bowed in front of some old guy who lookd v happy to see me down there:eek:

2. Walking down a pedistrian street with 2 of my sisters, Just passing a bulding site and my legs went from under me again, i was beside a pole as i fell so i grabbed it, but whatever way i fell i swung around it. Cue laughing from my sisters and the builders who proceeded to shout"Hey baby how about another pole dance"

The shame!:(

Porkpie

I once bought a bag of crisps in my local shop and when the shop assistant handed me my change I said "there you go". She looked at me, half smiling, half embarrassed for me. How the f*ck did that come out of my mouth?

NotSoDumbBlonde

Porkpie wrote: »

I once bought a bag of crisps in my local shop and when the shop assistant handed me my change I said "there you go". She looked at me, half smiling, half embarrassed for me. How the f*ck did that come out of my mouth?

Any word errors / freudian slips are awkward! When you combine two phrases and end up saying to someone with a big grin on your face as you shake their hand: "You're You" which was meant to be "You're welcome, Thank YOU" or when you tell someone "Its a problem" instead of "Its okay/no problem".

Micilin Muc

NotSoDumbBlonde wrote: »

Any word errors / freudian slips are awkward! When you combine two phrases and end up saying to someone with a big grin on your face as you shake their hand: "You're You" which was meant to be "You're welcome, Thank YOU" or when you tell someone "Its a problem" instead of "Its okay/no problem".

I'm always saying things like "Thanks you", or instead of "it was the greatest/it was the best...", I'd say "It was the breast..."

dubois90

sometimes i wear baggy jeans and i was running across the dueler and they nearly fell down lol

then another time i start choking on a meatball subway on a busy street. my face went all different colours and omg i looked so stupid.

tripping up the stairs of the gym i'm in.

greeting whatever gym instructor is at the desk when i go in and likewise saying bye on the way out. i've resorted to using a sailour salute now.

weight lifting and the girl next to me corrects me on my form(i said thanks she was right but just awkward)

ilovechocolate

Was having a bit of trouble getting used to my new heels on a night out once, tripped over the step at the door and literally fell into the arms of one of the bouncers

Porkpie

NotSoDumbBlonde wrote: »

Any word errors / freudian slips are awkward! When you combine two phrases and end up saying to someone with a big grin on your face as you shake their hand: "You're You" which was meant to be "You're welcome, Thank YOU" or when you tell someone "Its a problem" instead of "Its okay/no problem".

I can't tell you the number of times I've combined cheers and thanks into "chanks"

buckieburd

Oh god I could probably fill a full thread with mine alone. Some of the worst.

Getting on the bus and asking the driver for 20 Silk Cut Purple (done that a couple of times)

Drunk in the pub playing pool, a guy comes in with (what I thought) was a fancy pool cue in a case. Que me thinking I’m hilarious ‘Oh look at your with your fancy pool cue case, are you in Star Wars and thats your light saber?’, then as he begins to unzip the case ‘oh he he it looks like a white stick’, yes it was a white stick he was partially blind, and he then proceeded to beat me at pool!

My sisters friend’s bald (alopecia god love him) fiancé asking how my sister’s wedding preparation were going and I answered ‘oh she’s pulling her hair out’ and I actually did a hair pulling out motion…he got up and walked away…

Tell my OH’s nippy cousin that she is the spit of her (very very ugly) brother, if looks could kill…

NotSoDumbBlonde

What about Say What You See!?

Got one of those emails in work where, when you click "open", a massive penis is on your screen and you cant find Escape----where is the damn escape button!? OH god....

Then the phone rang and i answered it.......and yep, i said "Hello, PENIS"
:eek:

I took a dump in the work toilet and then as I was washing my hands, one of the Directors walks in, we say hi to each other then he continues into the toilet I just left and starts coughing, I legged it outta there ASAP!

Another time I was walking down the street admiring a car when BOOM I walk full on into a tree, I turned round to see if anyone seen and a few old ladies were in bits laughing at me.

Also when I was only a youngster(maybe 5-6) I was feeding the ducks in Herbert park and I fell into the water and nearly drowned, I had to be taking out of the water and stripped out of my wet clothes and put into my sisters pram with a blanket around me, I remember 2 old men sitting on a bench laughing their ass off at me.

Namlub

Deleted User wrote: »

I took a dump in the work toilet and then as I was washing my hands, one of the Directors walks in, we say hi to each other then he continues into the toilet I just left and starts coughing, I legged it outta there ASAP!

Another time I was walking down the street admiring a car when BOOM I walk full on into a tree, I turned round to see if anyone seen and a few old ladies were in bits laughing at me.

Also when I was only a youngster(maybe 5-6) I was feeding the ducks in Herbert park and I fell into the water and nearly drowned, I had to be taking out of the water and stripped out of my wet clothes and put into my sisters pram with a blanket around me, I remember 2 old men sitting on a bench laughing their ass off at me.

I'm seeing a pattern here...

Namlub

Namlub wrote: »

I'm seeing a pattern here...

Me too.. Old people are ignorant pigs!

smokingman

My other half said she wanted to be "consumated" when she dies....in a room full of people that subsequently laughed their arses off

She may have meant something else...

Poor Uncle Tom

smokingman wrote: »

My other half said she wanted to be "consumated" when she dies....in a room full of people that subsequently laughed their arses off

She may have meant something else...

I think she knew exactly what she meant....;)....you had best get in some necro practice.......:D

Johnny Weasel

I took a few too many e's out one night. It had quite a laxative effect and in the taxi home next morning I shat myself mid trip. Along with the stench of sweat from all night dancing the waft of wet crap turned the air putrid. The taxi driver knew what had happened and looked at me disapprovingly as i scrambled to pull a tenner out of my sh1t stained rear pocket.

9wetfckx43j5rg

The ackward moments....

Probably shouting hello to someone you think you know and it turning out to be a stranger? You either commit to the cause and continue with it to convince them you know them from somewhere forever ago or give up embarassed.

Or when your walking one way and then realise you have to backtrack and instead of just turn around like a massive freak you make a big show and dance about realising your going the wrong way or checking your phone ect.

minderbender

snyper wrote: »

When you are walking down the path and it rather quiet with nobody else around and there is a woman in front of you, yet for some reason you are only a pace or 2 behind her.. you can see by the body language she is aware of your presance and as she proceeds on you neither pass or fall behind further...she begins to get nervous, she puts her hands firmly around the strap of her hand bag...

You, now are rather embarressed, because you think this bra burning man hating lesbian thinks you are a bag snatcher or a rapist, so now after the embarresment subsides a form of anger ensues, the rage builds further, so much so that you should have turned into your house nearly half a mile back the road but continued... she keeps walking afraid to stop, now you find yourself in the countryside, 5 miles outside town...what happens next is the difference between a taxi ride home, or making the front page of the local newspaper

classic...first thing on boards that has made me laugh out loud.. not lol, thats a load of bollocks

antomorro-sei

What a great thread!

In London with my mates a year ago. I was drinking and wanted to go get more drink... Strolled into a shop, fairly drunk, stood at the door and shouted in "Alri bud, any beer being sold here?", needless to say, they'd no booze left. I turn around to push open the door and BANG. Palmed some woman in the face. My mates, people in the shop and the shopkeeper all saw it too... Awkward

Porkpie

Anyone ever get directions from someone then realise that your route is the same way as theirs? What to do? If you don't walk past them quickly or else stay behind and pretend you're checking your map you end up walking beside them. And that's kind of awkward.

NotSoDumbBlonde

Porkpie wrote: »

Anyone ever get directions from someone then realise that your route is the same way as theirs? What to do? If you don't walk past them quickly or else stay behind and pretend you're checking your map you end up walking beside them. And that's kind of awkward.

Yep - or I've often asked for directions and then not listened to a single word the person has said - i end up focusing on their nose piercing / stray eyebrow hair / teeth.......and then when they say "So are you clear?" I have to go "Eh YES!"......and then wait for them to walk away so i can ask someone else!

Mr Freeze

Adyx wrote: »

Back when I didn't know any better and still went to mass, I went up for communion and before the priest could open his mouth I said "Body of Christ" to him! For some reason I had been repeating it over and over in my head on the way up.

Good one, that reminded me of my own Awkward Communion moment.

Christmas Day a few years ago, it was communion time, and the church was packed and there was a massive queue for communion. I thought I would sit it out until there was 4 or 5 left in the queue, and then get up.

10 minutes later with only a few in the queue, I get up and head down the aisle towards the priest, well he got through the few people before I got to the end of the queue, blessed himself, and headed off back to the alter...

All I could do was turn on my heels and head back to the my seat to much smiles and giggles from the other mass goers seated looking at me. I saw the funny side too and couldn't help but smile all the way to my seat to find the family in stitches too.

marko91

say i go into a shop and buy something for 10 euro and i give them 10 euro i ALWAYS stay their waiting for the imaginary change for like 5 seconds then i realise their is no change im like :ooh...then walk off feeling stupid...it happens to be like twice per week:(

Mr Freeze

idunnoutellme wrote: »

You know that hand gesture that means going down on a girl....like the two fingers and tongue in the middle
well my dad seen two kids on the bus doin that and laughin their asses off.....he doesnt know what it means so sometimes he does it for a joke......i never know where to look when he does...... i just pray he'll never do it in public :rolleyes:

Crying laughing at this one!!! Ah the innocence....