Awkward Moments....

NotSoDumbBlonde

1. When you're walking alone but realise you're in sync with someone beside you who is walking at exactly the same pace and is headed in the same direction...

2. When you see someone you know but you dont want to acknowledge you see them, for whatever reason, so you try to blank them, even though they're right in front of you....you do that whole "Hmmm, im thinking about something really important and i'm staring just above your head, deep in thought....." thing....

Any other awkward moments out there!?

entropi

And i thought someone was gonna confess to getting caught having a thomas the tank in the living room, while their gran walked in with their mam:(

K4t

When you get to a thread in AH first but can't think of something witty to say

Edit: I wasn't first. Phew.

brummytom

When you're walking behind someone, they're walking at the same speed as you so you can't overtake them as it were. So you decide to keep your distance a bit and just look like a shit stalker.

And when a parent mentions anything rude.
I got a few 'rude' cards off my mates for my birthday that I thought I'd hid well, obviously not
"Get any cards Tom?"
"Just off Seamus"
"Oh right.. If you say so "

or yesterday.
"We going out to town now mom?"
"Yeah, just wait until my Property Porn's finished" :eek: :eek: MOM!! (she means house programmes)

Like mother, like son

NotSoDumbBlonde

When you feel stupid for posting a stupid thread in the first place

Nope, its actually ok - someone else posted an awkward moment! Phew!! Cheers!

Photi

When your pint-piss cycle falls into sync with someone else's.

The Big Red Button

Last weekend, when we were getting ready to head out:

Me: "So, what are you wearing tonight?"

Friend: "Um ... this?! "

Me: "Ah ... lovely ..."

I'm cringing again thinking about it!

NotSoDumbBlonde

Going to see Bruno with your pops!

4zn76tysfajdxp

brummytom wrote: »

And when a parent mentions anything rude.

Agreed. I ordered a camera from eBay a few months ago and my mother was home when it was delivered, signing for it and all. Then I came home.

"Hello there Mom, did any post arrive for me today?"

"Why yes m'boy a rather large, rather plain brown package came for you not two hours ago!"

"Excelsior!"

"Yes, son. Is it a blow up doll?"

pikachucheeks

When you crack a "yore ma / da / gran" joke and the person pulls out the "He/She/It died last week"




Thanks, Zohan! You Boards-embarrassed me!

brummytom

Mya Miniature Bait wrote: »

Agreed. I ordered a camera from eBay a few months ago and my mother was home when it was delivered, signing for it and all. Then I came home.

"Hello there Mom, did any post arrive for me today?"

"Why yes m'boy a rather large, rather plain brown package came for you not two hours ago!"

"Excelsior!"

"Yes, son. Is it a blow up doll?"

"Tom... you do know the council monitor every site you visit on my laptop don't you?"
"Errrrr...."
"Just be careful"

Never felt more awkward. She got me my own laptop after that, fair play to her :P

-Leelo-

My boss is pretty old and isnt great on a computer so asked me to look through his email for something and one of the emails was entitled something random like "Want bear cock porn?" He was standing right behind me, he knew I saw it, awk-ward!!

AnonoBoy

When your granddad who has the same initials as you has not only opened your delivery of steam-powered dildos but is actually using them in his room while your Mam wonders is that a cat being murdered outside at loud volume while the sound of your granddad's rattling OAP orgasm comes through the walls and drowns out the sound of the heart-wrenching domestic abuse scene on Eastenders which your celibate aunt Maura has called over to watch with the whole family.

phasers

Being 14 years old and having to ask your dad to buy you some tampons

NotSoDumbBlonde

When someone walks into a toilet cubicle - and you're in it - and the lock was broken......so you're trying to hold it closed whilst peeing - and YOU say sorry!

Gummy Panda

pikachucheeks wrote: »

When you crack a "yore ma / da / gran" joke and the person pulls out the "He/She/It died last week"




Thanks, Zohan! You Boards-embarrassed me!

amateur!!

Thats when you reply "Serves the bitch/bastard right!!".

Also never trust TheZohan.

pikachucheeks

NotSoDumbBlonde wrote: »

When someone walks into a toilet cubicle - and you're in it - and the lock was broken......so you're trying to hold it closed whilst peeing - and YOU say sorry!

I once did that to a friend in Boarding School. Well, kinda.

I knew she was in the cublicle, so I was winding her up and banging on the door. Then I kicked it... The door flung open, smacked her straight in the head and almost knocked her out!
:eek:

brummytom

NotSoDumbBlonde wrote: »

When someone walks into a toilet cubicle - and you're in it - and the lock was broken......so you're trying to hold it closed whilst peeing - and YOU say sorry!

Peeing?

Oh, I raise you shítting in a disabled toilet in the reception of a gym with a 60-something year old man opening it in full view.
Even worse when you find out he's your trainer for the day

Earthhorse

Stranger: Hi!

Earthhorse: Oh hi! *big grin*

Stranger's friend (behind Earthhorse): Hi, how are you?

Earthhorse:

The Big Red Button

Oh this was my worst ever!

I was doing a job interview a few years ago, probably the first proper one I've ever done. We were chatting about my first year college exam results earlier in the interview, since I had just gotten them that morning. Anyways the interview finished up, I thought it had gone really really well. The interviewer stood up, shook my hand, and said with a big smile, "So are you ready to celebrate tonight?"

Me, all naive and happy: "Oh you mean I got the job? Thank you so much!"

Him: "Um ... no ... I meant, are you going out to celebrate your exam results."

The ensuing silence really was painful.

He still rang me the next morning and gave me the job though

Nihilist21

Having to repeatedly ask someone to repeat everything they say because you can't understand their accent, until you just give up and begin guessing appropriate responses.

4zn76tysfajdxp

pikachucheeks wrote: »

When you crack a "yore ma / da / gran" joke and the person pulls out the "He/She/It died last week"

Something similar to that happened to me too. It was one of the last days of m working in a certain supermarket when I was talking to one of my co-workers:

"So Annie, there's no need to kill yourself now that I'm leaving. I'm sure life will go on."

*Annie wells up*

"Are...you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...it's just that...*sniffle*...suicide is something that's affected me before and tends to make me...*sniffle*...upset...Excuse me a second!"

"Whoops, sorry."

Earthhorse

chatterpillar wrote: »

He still rang me the next morning and gave me the job though

Of course he did, he was avoiding an awkward moment of his own.

Nihilist21 wrote: »

Having to repeatedly ask someone to repeat everything they say because you can't understand their accent, until you just give up and begin guessing appropriate responses.

Yeah, yeah, it's around quarter past eleven mate.

lightning_saa

when ye try to silently fart at mass but instead hear an echoe

Alexl

One time few years back, was using a condom for a water balloon when my old principle walked into jacks, sure enough I pocketted the opened condom and forgot about it, was in supervalu later on that day and went to get money out of pocket, accidentally pulled it out and it fell on the floor for everyone to gape at:eek::eek::eek: and I knew all these people!:D:D
Paid, picked it up really quickly and sprinted out the door.

Dr.NickRiviera

Hmmm...Being forced to write something on a thread you have no interest in, in order to 'show support' of the authors post...yawn

NotSoDumbBlonde

Sitting around a table in a pub, having a drink with a group, some of whom some you know and some you dont........ you're discussing names you would never dream of calling your children......and you come out with "JORDAN" and then someone at the table says "My kid is called Jordan..........." AWKWARD.

(apologies to anyone called Jordan - it's a nice name)

NotSoDumbBlonde

Dr.NickRiviera wrote: »

Hmmm...Being forced to write something on a thread you have no interest in, in order to 'show support' of the authors post...yawn

Eh get on another thread!!

Earthhorse

Actually, one I just remembered. A few years back a guy in the post room took to calling me Paul Smith. I tried to correct him the first time he did it but he didn't understand me (English not being his first language). There were two Paul Smiths in the building, you see, though I wasn't either of them, but somehow he thought I was.

I gave up on trying to explain this to him and anytime he would see me in the office he'd say "Hi Paul" and I'd always respond.

The day he was leaving he was coming by our floor and he came by to say goodbye to his ole pal Paul. Only, where I work, you have a little nameplate above your desk.

"You are not Paul?" he said.

"No," I sheepishly replied.

"But why you not say?"

I just looked at him until he walked away.

entropi

K4t wrote: »

When you get to a thread in AH first but can't think of something witty to say

Edit: I wasn't first. Phew.

Its grand, i think that was witty enough to cover both our posts:P

NotSoDumbBlonde

chatterpillar wrote: »

Oh this was my worst ever!



Me, all naive and happy: "Oh you mean I got the job? Thank you so much!"

Him: "Um ... no ... I meant, are you going out to celebrate your exam results."

The ensuing silence really was painful.

He still rang me the next morning and gave me the job though

LMAO!:eek:

AnonoBoy

lightning_saa wrote: »

when ye try to silently fart at mass but instead hear an echoe

Try being caught at Mass when you're the grand marshall of your local satanic cult. Man I was so mad at my Mom that day!

Earthhorse wrote: »

Actually, one I just remembered. A few years back a guy in the post room took to calling me Paul Smith. I tried to correct him the first time he did it but he didn't understand me (English not being his first language). There were two Paul Smiths in the building, you see, though I wasn't either of them, but somehow he thought I was.

I gave up on trying to explain this to him and anytime he would see me in the office he'd say "Hi Paul" and I'd always respond.

The day he was leaving he was coming by our floor and he came by to say goodbye to his ole pal Paul. Only, where I work, you have a little nameplate above your desk.

"You are not Paul?" he said.

"No," I sheepishly replied.

"But why you not say?"

I just looked at him until he walked away.

Should have just looked at your nameplate in shock and said, "Ok smart guys - who the hell's been switching the nameplates again!"

NotSoDumbBlonde

Earthhorse wrote: »

Actually, one I just remembered. A few years back a guy in the post room took to calling me Paul Smith. I tried to correct him the first time....

Same happened to me - worked somewhere for 3 years and this 1 particular person thought my name was Claire - which it isnt - but he never heard me when i tried to correct him so I went with the whole Claire thing and when he called me Claire, like you, I would respond.

When it came to MY leaving do he said "Hey Claire - are you going to the leaving do for yer one on floor 5?"........and I replied "Eh........yeh"

Earthhorse

NotSoDumbBlonde wrote: »

When it came to MY leaving do he said "Hey Claire - are you going to the leaving do for yer one on floor 5?"........and I replied "Eh........yeh"

Whenever I remember our little conversations in the corridors there's always that Seinfeld bass playing in the background.

Medievalist

Once I was standing beside my boss while he was transfering work site photos from a camera onto his computer. We were both making comments on each photo, pretty mundane stuff. Then the last image comes up on screen and it's a photo of a couple in bed, both grinning at the camera! :eek: Cue nervous laughter, much embarrassed arm waving and eventually turning off of the monitor. There was a very hasty 'I think it's time for tea...' exit.

pikachucheeks

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Also never trust TheZohan.

I don't. Not since he drugged me that second time ... :P

AckwelFoley

When you are walking down the path and it rather quiet with nobody else around and there is a woman in front of you, yet for some reason you are only a pace or 2 behind her.. you can see by the body language she is aware of your presance and as she proceeds on you neither pass or fall behind further...she begins to get nervous, she puts her hands firmly around the strap of her hand bag...

You, now are rather embarressed, because you think this bra burning man hating lesbian thinks you are a bag snatcher or a rapist, so now after the embarresment subsides a form of anger ensues, the rage builds further, so much so that you should have turned into your house nearly half a mile back the road but continued... she keeps walking afraid to stop, now you find yourself in the countryside, 5 miles outside town...what happens next is the difference between a taxi ride home, or making the front page of the local newspaper

4zn76tysfajdxp

snyper wrote: »

bra burning man hating lesbian

No wonder, in fairness:

snyper wrote: »

rather quiet with nobody else around and there is a woman in front of you

NotSoDumbBlonde

snyper wrote: »

When you are walking down the path and it rather quiet with nobody else around and there is a woman in front of you, yet for some reason you are only a pace or 2 behind her.. you can see by the body language she is aware of your presance and as she proceeds on you neither pass or fall behind further...she begins to get nervous, she puts her hands firmly around the strap of her hand bag...

You, now are rather embarressed......

Its also embarrassing for the woman in front because even though she's beginning to feel nervous, she DOES actually feel guilty/awkward/silly clutching said straps tighter and walking faster. She wants to look behind her but she knows you know that she knows you're feeling embarrassed etc.....best bet is to overtake her!

Léan

I work in a video shop, this auld wan comes in.

Her: *old raspey voice* "Do you have Fatal Attraction to rent?"

Me: "No sorry, just to buy".

Her: "Oh right.... *long pause*..... Do ye sell adult movies?*

Me: (hoping i didn't just hear that) "sorry what?"

Her: "Adult movies?"

Me: :o Sorry no.



There was a porn shop across the street

NotSoDumbBlonde

I must be really bored to be continually posting on my own thread.

Anyway, what about the ole classic: When you wave at someone but they fail to see you waving. What to do with hand in air:-

(a) Shake it and pretend you're trying to get your watch to slide a lil bit further down your wrist!?

(b) Shake it and pretend you've got pins & needles?

(c) Scratch your armpit?

(d) Scratch your head?

(e) Pretend to wave at someone else......and then smile & mouth a "HEY" and then do the "Call me" thing to said someone else (who is imaginary) with the same hand..........Oh cringe

Bloody Nipples

Remember the straws in McD's when you were a kid, and you'd tear off bits of the paper wrapper, soak it in spit and fire it? My aim ain't great and it flew over my buddy's shoulder and hit the bald, tattooed man dead in the centre of his forehead...

...where it stuck fast. He reached up and scraped it off, with a look of absolute disgust. Then zeroed in on me, jaysus his stare would have boiled water.

Naturally, an apology was in order, so I turned and ran.

ziggy23

was at a 21st and went to find the toilets . seen a big bloke with short hair using the handryer so said oh this isn't the womens is it? Big bloke turned around and it was a big butch woman. She just stared at me like she was goin to murder me then and there. Had to pretend I was drunk to get out of it:o

jiltloop

I hate when this happens, you're walking down the street and a car is driving past you, you think you're the only person around. The driver of the cars gives a beep. You don't recognise the car and you can't see the driver cos of the sun glaring on the windscreen. You decide to wave at the car in case it is someone you know cos you don't want to appear rude.
Cue the 2 people who the driver was actually saying hello to laughing and pointing behind you.

TPD

jiltloop wrote: »

I hate when this happens, you're walking down the street and a car is driving past you, you think you're the only person around. The driver of the cars gives a beep. You don't recognise the car and you can't see the driver cos of the sun glaring on the windscreen. You decide to wave at the car in case it is someone you know cos you don't want to appear rude.
Cue the 2 people who the driver was actually saying hello to laughing and pointing behind you.

I had that happen with some old woman waving out of a car. Me and some random 40ish year old guy waved back. Turned out neither of us knew her.

NotSoDumbBlonde

lightning_saa wrote: »

when ye try to silently fart at mass but instead hear an echoe

When your phone rings in mass and Tubular Bells is your ringtone........:(

Jeanious

AnonoBoy wrote: »

When your granddad who has the same initials as you has not only opened your delivery of steam-powered dildos but is actually using them in his room while your Mam wonders is that a cat being murdered outside at loud volume while the sound of your granddad's rattling OAP orgasm comes through the walls and drowns out the sound of the heart-wrenching domestic abuse scene on Eastenders which your celibate aunt Maura has called over to watch with the whole family.

By jove old boy, you've only gone and done it! This post is the very pinnacle of After Hours, it's all downhill from here on in people!

Homicidal_jesus

farting in an elevator....actually its unbelievable hilarious but yano:p

running out of things to say when chattin to a girl*face palm*

everynow then some fellas(me:D) voices can go high pitched forno good reason not awkward just bloody embarrasing ha

Seloth

When your sitting on the train with your friends and theres 3 of you and a random person sits at the 4th place....its jsut weird!!!

Super-Rush

Playing at a 21st a few years back i was going through the usual routine of the cake, 21 kisses etc when the birthday girls brother asked me to get the family up for a few photos. I oblige and everyone is standing there with her except her dad. So i pick up the mic again and i start calling for 'Daddy' to come up and then say 'Sure he's probaby at the bar getting pissed' followed by 'Come on daddy where are ya hiding?'

I get a tap on the shoulder from one of the bar staff who tell me that 'Daddy' died two weeks ago of liver failure.

Professey Chin

Homicidal_jesus wrote: »

everynow then some fellas(me:D) voices can go high pitched forno good reason not awkward just bloody embarrasing ha

Thats just part of puberty.Youre becoming a man :pac: