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male to male shows of affection.

  • 08-09-2009 3:03pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭


    A female friend of mine at the weekend kissed another friend of her's, also female on the lips and gave her a hug as they hadn't seen each other in some time...

    We later had a conversation about it, and she said if i was comfortable with my sexuality i should have no problem doing the same with a male friend of mine.

    Thing is i am comfortable with my sexuality, and i would shake hands or hug another male where appropriate, but would draw the line at kissing.

    Why i dont know.It just seems to me that male to male shows of affection like this is highly inappropriate to say the least.

    Whats everyone else opinion on this?


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,136 ✭✭✭✭Stark


    Continental Europeans don't seem to have a problem with it. (can just see the "Man on man action? Vote No to Lisbon" posters now).


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,197 ✭✭✭✭Penn


    Its because women are more attractive than men. If I was a woman I'd kiss other women too


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Stark wrote: »
    Continental Europeans don't seem to have a problem with it. (can just see the "Man on man action? Vote No to Lisbon" posters now).

    Pif... that's because Europe is Gay... :pac:

    - Drav!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    Stark wrote: »
    Continental Europeans don't seem to have a problem with it. (can just see the "Man on man action? Vote No to Lisbon" posters now).

    Shh. Coir might hear you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,957 ✭✭✭Euro_Kraut


    Stark wrote: »
    Continental Europeans don't seem to have a problem with it. (can just see the "Man on man action? Vote No to Lisbon" posters now).

    Its the French mostly. You wouldn't catch the Finnish at it.

    Its a funny one alright. Being honest, I don’t think I would ever give a male friend a kiss on the lips. Its a bit 'Garden of Gethsemane’ for me. Then again I wouldn’t be very inclined to kiss a female friend (not my girlfriend) on the lips either.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Myself and all my girl friends kiss each other on the lips no problem but the guys in our group wouldnt even dream of it. Its weird.

    I've no problem with gay men doing it at all so i'm not sure why i'd find it so weird if the lads did it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,494 ✭✭✭citizen_p


    hmm all a bit weird really.. dont see the point of hugs either.
    yes your hapy to see someone... but why do we put are arms around them??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,333 ✭✭✭✭itsallaboutheL


    Euro_Kraut wrote: »
    Its a funny one alright. Being honest, I don’t think I would ever give a male friend a kiss on the lips. Its a bit 'Garden of Gethsemane’ for me. Then again I wouldn’t be very inclined to kiss a female friend (not my girlfriend) on the lips either.

    I'm currently racking my brains...
    but the most suitable word i can find to describe that post is.... GAY....

    Quite the oxymoron.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    Man on man?

    Not as bad as brother on sister;

    http://www.radiofree.com/profiles/angelina_jolie/aj011065.jpg

    :D.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 ✭✭✭✭Karl Hungus




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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭wudangclan


    Kiera wrote: »
    Myself and all my girl friends kiss each other on the lips no problem but the guys in our group wouldnt even dream of it. Its weird.

    I've no problem with gay men doing it at all so i'm not sure why i'd find it so weird if the lads did it.

    would you be happy with plutonic male friends kissing you on the lips as a greeting.?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    wudangclan wrote: »
    would you be happy with plutonic male friends kissing you on the lips as a greeting.?
    They do. We've all grown up together so its not a big deal.

    Is that weird?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭Prof.Badass


    wudangclan wrote: »
    would you be happy with plutonic male friends kissing you on the lips as a greeting.?

    :D

    I lolled.

    Sorry :o.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166 ✭✭james1234


    Argentinian men greet each other with a kiss on the cheek.

    I spent almost a year there, and whenever I was introduced to some close male friends of any Argentinian friends, it was always a hug and a kiss on the cheek, felt quite uncomfortable the first few times, but as they say 'when in Rome...'

    On the continent it's usually a kiss (or several) on the cheek (men>women, women>women), lip kissing is generally reserved for lovers from my experience.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭wudangclan


    Kiera wrote: »
    They do. We've all grown up together so its not a big deal.

    Is that weird?

    (oops.platonic.)


    no,thats fine.
    can we be friends?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,342 ✭✭✭✭That_Guy


    I don't mind hugging another guy or shaking hands etc but kissing I wouldn't do.

    If I saw guys kissing each other and hugging I wouldn't care but it's something I wouldn't personally do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    wudangclan wrote: »
    (oops.platonic.)


    no,thats fine.
    can we be friends?
    I knew what you meant and NO! :)


  • Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,919 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    Stark wrote: »
    Continental Europeans don't seem to have a problem with it. (can just see the "Man on man action? Vote No to Lisbon" posters now).

    With men kissing men on the lips? I think you'll find they do. They definitely do.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,300 ✭✭✭nice1franko


    I've given male friends a kiss on the head. Nowt sexual about it. If Tony Soprano can do it so can I.

    Still, to be lucky enough to get one the male has to meet ALL of the following criteria:

    a) a very good friend of mine
    b) not gay
    c) be in the pub all day with me
    d) have just given me a tip that came in at a fantastic price


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,883 ✭✭✭wudangclan


    :p:p


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭smythwicks


    I couldnt care less I've done it:pac:
    This country is so homophobic that its actually a bunch of insecure men imo trying to be as macho as possible:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 889 ✭✭✭Bajingo


    Male friends do not generally give eachother a kiss(on the lips) when they havent seen eachother in a while..

    Female friends do not generally shake hands when they meet up after a long time though..

    Thats just the way it is for most people i'd say..to see a guy kiss a guy friend(on the lips) or a woman to shake her female friends hand(instead of kissing and hugging) would be weird..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    smythwicks wrote: »
    I couldnt care less I've done it:pac:
    This country is so homophobic that its actually a bunch of insecure men imo trying to be as macho as possible:rolleyes:

    I'm not homophobic, some of my best friends are in fact gay, but i just find male to male kissing inappropriate...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,487 ✭✭✭aDeener


    smythwicks wrote: »
    I couldnt care less I've done it:pac:
    This country is so homophobic that its actually a bunch of insecure men imo trying to be as macho as possible:rolleyes:

    due to your liking of pickle?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 268 ✭✭Adamisconfused


    I live by a simple philosophy.
    In any given situation, I just ask myself, "What would Clint Eastwood do?".
    Damn Irish gun laws.:mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭smythwicks


    aDeener wrote: »
    due to your liking of pickle?
    alphamale im guessing?:rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,487 ✭✭✭aDeener


    smythwicks wrote: »
    alphamale im guessing?:rolleyes:

    if thats the term you apply to men who kiss women then yes i suppose i am


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 208 ✭✭scottledeuce


    In India it's common for guys to hold hands walking/crossing the street


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭smythwicks


    whycliff wrote: »
    I'm not homophobic, some of my best friends are in fact gay, but i just find male to male kissing inappropriate...

    Sorry man didnt mean to directly offend, I mean people who condemn friends doing something open as a gesture is pretty insecure


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭smythwicks


    aDeener wrote: »
    if thats the term you apply to men who kiss women then yes i suppose i am

    Actually alot of women I meet love the fact my mates are so cool with anything so Ill just keep this friendly and say enjoy yours and ill enjoy mine :pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    smythwicks wrote: »
    Actually alot of women I meet love the fact my mates are so cool with anything so Ill just keep this friendly and say enjoy yours and ill enjoy mine

    Where do you meet these women, the George ??? :pac::p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭smileysurfer


    Kiera wrote: »
    They do. We've all grown up together so its not a big deal.

    Is that weird?

    Yes .... IMO

    So if your meeting up with 10 friends you get 10 kisses on the lips?
    Firstly its unhygenic and secondly Im of the opinion that kissing on the lips is for couples so could not kiss any of my female friends on the lips ( im female)
    I find a hug does the job or a kiss on the cheek depending on the person.
    Each to their own I spose


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,572 ✭✭✭✭brummytom


    I normally greet the lads with a handshake and a hug, if we haven't seen each other in a few weeks then a very melo-dramatic hug :P.

    A mate grabbed my arse last week, as a joke. I felt like Chandler from Friends where his Boss does that; I was amazingly uncomfortable.

    There's no way I'd kiss another lad on the lips. If that's homophobic then I apologise, I just don't like the idea of it


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Yes .... IMO

    So if your meeting up with 10 friends you get 10 kisses on the lips?
    Firstly its unhygenic and secondly Im of the opinion that kissing on the lips is for couples so could not kiss any of my female friends on the lips ( im female)
    I find a hug does the job or a kiss on the cheek depending on the person.
    Meh, each to their own :)

    You defo dont want to meet my friend C******, she thinks its funny to french kiss you when she's drunk.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,082 ✭✭✭Pygmalion


    Would never do it, hugging is as far as I'd go with a male friend, and that would be if they're a fairly close friend (or I'm drunk).

    As for female friends, I'd say giving or recieving a kiss on the cheek would be fine if we were fairly close (or adult female relatives, particularly older ones, in which case it's pretty much the norm AFAIK), but I wouldn't kiss one on the lips.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭smythwicks


    whycliff wrote: »
    Where do you meet these women, the George ??? :pac::p

    Naw the Shirley Temple:pac::P

    God AH is a scarey place:eek:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,082 ✭✭✭Pygmalion


    Kiera wrote: »
    You defo dont want to meet my friend C******, she thinks its funny to french kiss you when she's drunk.
    Explain to me why we don't want to meet her?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    Kiera wrote: »
    Meh, each to their own :)

    You defo dont want to meet my friend C******, she thinks its funny to french kiss you when she's drunk.

    Dont know about anyone else but i wanna meet this lady!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,064 ✭✭✭smileysurfer


    Kiera wrote: »
    Meh, each to their own :)

    You defo dont want to meet my friend C******, she thinks its funny to french kiss you when she's drunk.

    I had a friend like that too, decided to try take certain ''Liberties'' when she had a few, quick slap sorted her out :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,620 ✭✭✭Grudaire


    This reminds me of the time one of my friends tried to give everyone in the group hickeys!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 125 ✭✭smythwicks


    Kiera wrote: »
    Meh, each to their own :)

    You defo dont want to meet my friend C******, she thinks its funny to french kiss you when she's drunk.

    C****** FTW:pac:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    Cliste wrote: »
    This reminds me of the time one of my friends tried to give everyone in the group hickeys!

    I actually dont see any comparisons, you'll have to explain!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    Pygmalion wrote: »
    Explain to me why we don't want to meet her?
    whycliff wrote: »
    Dont know about anyone else but i wanna meet this lady!!!
    Sorry she only does this to me as she knows it freaks me out. She married so wouldnt do it to other men i'm afraid.
    I had a friend like that too, decided to try take certain ''Liberties'' when she had a few, quick slap sorted her out :P
    Nah she way to cute to smack. I tend to just run away from her when i see her licking her lips :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    Kiera wrote: »
    Sorry she only does this to me as she knows it freaks me out. She married so wouldnt do it to other men i'm afraid.

    You have just opened another can of worms here now,

    Why, if she is amrried, is it in your opinion ok for her to kiss another female, but not another male on the lips???


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13,130 ✭✭✭✭Kiera


    whycliff wrote: »
    You have just opened another can of worms here now,

    Why, if she is amrried, is it in your opinion ok for her to kiss another female, but not another male on the lips???
    Oh she kisses everyone on the lips, not just females. I'm just the unlucky one who gets her tongue :o


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,708 ✭✭✭ScissorPaperRock


    It's not a matter of homophobia.

    Kissing on the lips is generally an intimate thing, I don't kiss my female friends on the lips either.

    So the question shouldn't be why not do it, but why would you do it? There are boundaries of what is acceptable for one person to do to another. Having boundaries doesn't equate to being homophobic.

    Otherwise why stop there? Why not greet them with a french fricking kiss?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    It's not a matter of homophobia.

    Kissing on the lips is generally an intimate thing, I don't kiss my female friends on the lips either.

    So the question shouldn't be why not do it, but why would you do it? There are boundaries of what is acceptable for one person to do to another. Having boundaries doesn't equate to being homophobic.

    Otherwise why stop there? Why not greet them with a french fricking kiss?

    Or by dropping the hand!!! i use to do that to every female i use to greet with a kiss !!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,487 ✭✭✭aDeener


    It's not a matter of homophobia.

    Kissing on the lips is generally an intimate thing, I don't kiss my female friends on the lips either.

    So the question shouldn't be why not do it, but why would you do it? There are boundaries of what is acceptable for one person to do to another. Having boundaries doesn't equate to being homophobic.

    Otherwise why stop there? Why not greet them with a french fricking kiss?

    or a thumb up the bum


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,708 ✭✭✭ScissorPaperRock


    whycliff wrote: »
    Or by dropping the hand!!! i use to do that to every female i use to greet with a kiss !!!

    aDeener wrote:
    or a thumb up the bum


    Exactly guys, thanks.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭Lord Trollington


    Kiera wrote: »
    Oh she kisses everyone on the lips, not just females. I'm just the unlucky one who gets her tongue :o

    Well sure a kiss on the lips would do me then... or is it only wimmen she kisses.
    Maybe she has a secret to tell everyone??


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