cheer up and smile :)

Kya1976

Novella wrote: »

I fcuking hate being told to smile. Go fcuk yourself! 1, I am probably not unhappy and 2, why the fcuk would I cheer up just because some stranger told me to?!

+1
Completely agree, I take it as a real insult.

fatmammycat

Oh my friend has this one NAILED to the board, it's so brilliant. Her default expression is totally blank when she's going along, almost like she's completely switched off. She's not gloomy or miserable or depressed, it just means she's miles away in her head. So for some reason this means idiots feel obliged to order her to 'cheer up'- which by the way is rude and obnoxious and highly annoying.
Last time it happened to her she was walking into town and had just reached the canal when some guy getting into a truck practically blocked her path and said,
'Ah smile love'
To which she stopped, removed her ipod ear phones ( yep, even that didn't stop him), looked him dead in the eyes and said.
'My father died at twenty past eight this morning. What the **** would I be smiling about?' ( her father is dead a number of years)
The guy looked absolutely morto apparently and mumbled his 'oh sorries er...oh..'
She put her ear phones back in and walked on.
You can sub 'granny' 'grandfather' what ever you like into the mix and I imagine it works every time.

Manic Moran

+1
Completely agree, I take it as a real insult.

I presume the psychologists know something we don't. As part of our mandatory yearly briefs, we're told to look for signs of unhappiness (And yes, sitting sullen at the chow table counts) and act upon them. Granted, their focus is slightly different: Suicide prevention. Perhaps they think that insulting a few people is worth the effect of maybe cheering up that one person who really does need a bit of individual attention.

NTM

Malari

I usually have a scathing reply ready, but then you get accused of being rude.

No, what's rude is going up to a complete stranger and telling them to cheer up. If you really were concerned about my emotional mood you would approach and ask if I was upset about something, not demand that I change my expression because it wasn't pleasing to you.

Now go away and maybe, JUST MAYBE, my expression of cheerlessness will vanish, as if there was a correlation between the two...

fatmammycat

I see what you're saying MM, but telling a person to cheer up doesn't automatically brighten their day- a lot of people, myself included, find it annoying and patronising. Being told to 'cheer up' by a random stranger when you're poodling along minding your own business is guaranteed to put me in bad form for a few minutes.

Vinny-Chase

Jeez I thought this was going to be a nice cheery Friday thread...how wrong I was

Gauge

I can't see how telling a genuinely depressed person to cheer up is a good thing to do. Surely it draws attention to something they would rather not have attention drawn to?

Without going into detail it's something I've experienced in the past and I know that I appreciated being told to cheer up even less than I do today- made me feel like utter crap at the time actually.

Hermione*

The-Rigger wrote: »

While I understand that your intentions are good, imo it would be better to ask them if they are alright/ok, rather than telling to 'smile' or 'cheer up' or even better 'cheer up - it might never happen'.

+1
I’ve often been told by random men to "smile" or "cheer up", and it annoys the hell out of me, especially when it’s 'cheer up - it might never happen'. Sometimes, I’m sad. Sad things have happened to me and sometimes, it's impossible not to think of them. It does not help to be told I should be smiling or cheerful. (Who the hell is cheerful 24/7 anyway?) Being told it might never happen when it already freaking has always tempts me to inform them that they’re too late. I’d love to see they guy’s face if I did.

Any guy who thinks that saying "smile" or "cheer up" to a girl counts as a chat up line does not know how to successfully chat up a girl.

iguana

Why the hell would somebody say something like that to anyone? It's bloody stupid. I had someone say it to me a few days after I had a miscarriage and I can tell you I doubt that person will ever say it to anyone ever again. Anyone who says that lacks basic cop on. Guess what, sometimes people who aren't smiling have a bloody good reason for not smiling. It's worth bearing in mind if for no other reason than the fact that anger is a stage of grief and you might find yourself on the butt end of that anger if you say it at the wrong time.

The Big Red Button

If someone says it to me, then either

(a) I'm genuinely upset or unhappy about something, and it's really not something I want to talk to a random stranger about

or

(b) I'm absolutely fine, but I've just been told by a randomer that I look unhappy. That's not going to do anything good for my mood, it'll just make me paranoid and self-concious.


If you see someone you don't know looking unhappy, and for some reason you genuinely feel the need to interfere, at least try making normal small talk. They mightn't be interested, but at least it won't insult them.

MJOR

they'd wanna cop on! Some people just aren't happy looking all the time.

cocoa

hah, I've come out the other end of this one. Been told by people that I often look like I'm about to go murder someone :pac: It's just my standard walking around and thinking face... I really do hate the 'cheer up' or 'smile' thing though. It's lazy, if you want me to smile, tell me a good joke or story, listen to me when I'm talking and make intelligent and/or witty remarks, etc. Earn it ffs...

Acacia

Yeah, I've wondered this myself as it is usually guys who say it to me. Reminds me of a story- I was buying a bottle of Fanta in my college shop and the guy behind the counter said to me (I guess I was in my own little world, it was an early lecture if I recall, who looks exactly looks radiant early in the morning anyway? :P) "Cheer up, it might never happen...".

He then took my drink and shook til it was really fizzy, and I wouldn't be able to open it cuz it would spill all over the place, and then said to me, "There you go, don't open that for awhile..." I was like, "Wtf?":eek:

Needless to say, I wasn't feeling very cheered up after he fizzed up my drink for no apparant reason...not that I was feeling down in the first place! :rolleyes:

Piste

I would have opened it in his face. That was downright uncalled for.

gollyitsolly

I actually love when lads say this to me. I have a front tooth missing and only wear my false one occasionally. You wanna see their their faces dropping when I give them a cheesy grin.:D

Acacia

Piste wrote: »

I would have opened it in his face. That was downright uncalled for.

I know it was so ...weird. The same guy always said something to me when I went into the shop. I just don't think he liked me, tbh.

Khannie

Acacia wrote: »

I just don't think he liked me, tbh.

Actually, it's probably the opposite. +1 on the wtf@fanta shaking.

Acacia

Khannie wrote: »

Actually, it's probably the opposite. +1 on the wtf@fanta shaking.

Hmm, he had a funny way of showing he liked me. I thought you were meant to be passed the ''pulling a girl's hair cuz you fancy her " thing in college!:pac:

My BF wanted to beat the head off him when I told him about the drink-shaking. At least I can look back and laugh now, though.

hdal

Guys, this is the wrong thing to say to a girl. It's sooo annoying & a bit insulting! Turns em right off