cheer up and smile :)

scarymoon1

ok, just out of curiousity, if a random guy tells you in a bar when you trying to buy a drink to cheer up or smile, is this a chat up line or is he just being sarcastic?

LadyJ

scarymoon1 wrote: »

ok, just out of curiousity, if a random guy tells you in a bar when you trying to buy a drink to cheer up or smile, is this a chat up line or is he just being sarcastic?

Happens to me all the fúcking time and tbh I don't give a crap what it is because it's really annoying and rude imo.

Theresalwaysone

Maybe you look sad? Sadder than the average bear?

jellie

LadyJ wrote: »

Happens to me all the fúcking time and tbh I don't give a crap what it is because it's really annoying and rude imo.

me too. maybe i look miserable or something :rolleyes: either way i usually have to restrain myself so i dont tell them to f*ck off. have often heard it from bus drivers

scarymoon1

i was just wondering as i hate it - it puts me right off the guy and i just say nothing.

PCPhoto

he could just be trying to cheer you up (make you smile) ....

no offence but maybe you were just not looking like you were having fun and this guy just said to cheer up.

(mental note: stop saying cheer up and buying drinks to random girls at the bar)

LadyJ

I don't have to have a smile plastered all over my face all the time. Sometimes I'm thinking, sometimes I'm just concentrating on not bumping into people while walking through the pub but either way, it's a ridiculous comment to make to someone you don't even know and so incredibly irritating.

Will

Maybe just maybe he was just trying to be friendly and that's the best way he knew how? Not every guy is out to chat up a woman or be rude.

Manic Moran

In my case, I honestly mean it, and I don't reserve the comments to bars.

I do it often, and without regard to gender. Told a chap at dinner today to smile. Junior soldier, out of an artillery unit. Other than that, don't know him. He just looked a little glum.

I note that you don't seem to consider the possibility that you might have actually looked in need of a bit of cheering up. If you weren't, then just ignore it, no skin off my nose. Only trying to help.

NTM (Interloper)

LadyJ

If someone is feeling down though, that won't cheer them up. It'll just make them feel self-conscious. Plus, maybe they don't want to cheer up. Maybe someone just died or they've had some other bad news. I dunno, I just think it's rude.

Jesus Wept

Manic Moran wrote: »

In my case, I honestly mean it, and I don't reserve the comments to bars.

I do it often, and without regard to gender. Told a chap at dinner today to smile. Junior soldier, out of an artillery unit. Other than that, don't know him. He just looked a little glum.

I note that you don't seem to consider the possibility that you might have actually looked in need of a bit of cheering up.

NTM (Interloper)

I'm certain that cheered him up no end.

liah

Manic Moran wrote: »

In my case, I honestly mean it, and I don't reserve the comments to bars.

I do it often, and without regard to gender. Told a chap at dinner today to smile. Junior soldier, out of an artillery unit. Other than that, don't know him. He just looked a little glum.

NTM

Jaysus you would completely wreck my head then.

I, unfortunately, got stuck with the default non-expression of "bored" or "pissed off" or, according to some, "sad."

Doesn't mean I AM. It's my completely, utterly neutral face. All muscles relaxed, just usually thinking about stuff.

The amount of freaking times people tell me to cheer up or smile is utterly unfathomable. It drives me up the flipping wall. I get it, okay?! I can't freaking help how my face looks by default.

Christ, I can't smile all the time. Face would hurt.

Manic Moran

The-Rigger wrote: »

I'm certain that cheered him up no end.

To a point.

Sometimes it's nice to know that someone notices you. Granted, our situation is a little unique.

NTM

helimachoptor

Said it a few times but mostly to girls in bars but never as a prelude/start of a chat up. tbh some girls (and blokes) just have miserable looking faces unless they put effort into smiling :)

Theresalwaysone

Seems to me from the limited responses here that telling a girl to cheer up will illicit the same response as telling them to "relax".

Just dont do it.

Jesus Wept

Manic Moran wrote: »

To a point.

Sometimes it's nice to know that someone notices you. Granted, our situation is a little unique.

NTM

While I understand that your intentions are good, imo it would be better to ask them if they are alright/ok, rather than telling to 'smile' or 'cheer up' or even better 'cheer up - it might never happen'.

liah

The-Rigger wrote: »

While I understand that your intentions are good, imo it would be better to ask them if they are alright/ok, rather than telling to 'smile' or 'cheer up' or even better 'cheer up - it might never happen'.

Wouldn't advise that either to be honest.
I keep getting asked that too and it provokes the same reaction. In a relationship now and he keeps asking "you okay?" whenever I'm at my default expression or not talking for a few minutes. Just as much a headwreck.

claireloopy

Got this a few times but not recently maybe i am just a happier person now!:)

lin lin

PCPhoto wrote: »

he could just be trying to cheer you up (make you smile) ....

no offence but maybe you were just not looking like you were having fun and this guy just said to cheer up.

(mental note: stop saying cheer up and buying drinks to random girls at the bar)

no no, there's nothing wrong with the buying drinks (if it's done right :-))

its the Cheer up, or Smile that's so fopping annoying

Manic Moran

Tell you what, then. I'll continue telling male soldiers to cheer up, and girls I'll buy the drinks.

Or something.

NTM

Sephiroth_dude

I have women say that to me all the time when I go to the bar or If Im sitting at the bar and I find it really annoying :mad:.

b3t4

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

This is exactly what I want to say to people who say this kind of thing to me.

I can't think of a single thing, right now, that annoys me more. :mad:

The last thing I want to do is smile when people have said this to me. What I truly want to do is rip their heads off. That might make me smile but I'm not sure that's what they were thinking

Tar.Aldarion

Thought the thread was gonna be telling me to vheer up and smile, and I want to get what I do in sucha conversation...

*glare*

Eviledna

I find this annoying to no end...not so much for the cheer-up sentiment, more for the notion that a stranger would feel they have the right to tell me how to feel/emote.
It makes me think: "Oh dear, have I dulled your otherwise shiny lollipop and sunshine filled day with my average sentiments??"

It's not a gender thing, although some fellas seem to think it's cute. The shock on their face when they see a real frown (:mad:) afterwards...priceless.:pac:

Nervous Wreck

Tbh, saying "cheer up" to someone is pretty low down on the list of things that are gonna make them cheer up. When someone tells me to smile, I grit my teeth and fight back the urge to punch them.

dfx-

This is like the time I read that calling someone love was an infringement on manners :eek:

Novella

I fcuking hate being told to smile. Go fcuk yourself! 1, I am probably not unhappy and 2, why the fcuk would I cheer up just because some stranger told me to?!

xzanti

LadyJ wrote: »

Happens to me all the fúcking time and tbh I don't give a crap what it is because it's really annoying and rude imo.

I fcuking hate that..

cause like I'm really going to flash you a big toothy smile for that.. now fcuk off asshole.. :rolleyes:

Gauge

I hate it, I find it really patronising. It just so happens my default expression looks bored/a bit grumpy (after reading this thread it's nice to know I'm not the only one), so if my mind wanders while I'm waiting at a bar that's just how I'm going to look. Very annoying while you're minding your own business- thanks a lot, now I don't feel like smiling at all! I know a lot of guys just see it as harmless but it really is very, very irritating. Also "Who died?" is not an appropriate thing to ask someone ever, and "Cheer up, it might never happen!" is almost as bad.

The worst is when it's accompanied with a finger poke to my cheek. WHAT THE HELL. That's not going to get you a smile, it's going to get you warned that if you do that one more time you will draw back a stump. I just find it inexplicably rude to comment on a stranger's expression and invade their personal space like that.

jellie

The-Rigger wrote: »

'cheer up - it might never happen'.

ive often been tempted to reply "it already has" & spontaneously burst into tears for that one. i usually just glare at them though, i cant do tears quick enough.

ciagr297

sar84 wrote: »

ive often been tempted to reply "it already has" & spontaneously burst into tears for that one. i usually just glare at them though, i cant do tears quick enough.

i've been sorely tempted to try this tact myself on occasion, just to see what reaction i get

never have gone that far though

Kya1976

Novella wrote: »

I fcuking hate being told to smile. Go fcuk yourself! 1, I am probably not unhappy and 2, why the fcuk would I cheer up just because some stranger told me to?!

+1
Completely agree, I take it as a real insult.

fatmammycat

Oh my friend has this one NAILED to the board, it's so brilliant. Her default expression is totally blank when she's going along, almost like she's completely switched off. She's not gloomy or miserable or depressed, it just means she's miles away in her head. So for some reason this means idiots feel obliged to order her to 'cheer up'- which by the way is rude and obnoxious and highly annoying.
Last time it happened to her she was walking into town and had just reached the canal when some guy getting into a truck practically blocked her path and said,
'Ah smile love'
To which she stopped, removed her ipod ear phones ( yep, even that didn't stop him), looked him dead in the eyes and said.
'My father died at twenty past eight this morning. What the **** would I be smiling about?' ( her father is dead a number of years)
The guy looked absolutely morto apparently and mumbled his 'oh sorries er...oh..'
She put her ear phones back in and walked on.
You can sub 'granny' 'grandfather' what ever you like into the mix and I imagine it works every time.

Manic Moran

+1
Completely agree, I take it as a real insult.

I presume the psychologists know something we don't. As part of our mandatory yearly briefs, we're told to look for signs of unhappiness (And yes, sitting sullen at the chow table counts) and act upon them. Granted, their focus is slightly different: Suicide prevention. Perhaps they think that insulting a few people is worth the effect of maybe cheering up that one person who really does need a bit of individual attention.

NTM

Malari

I usually have a scathing reply ready, but then you get accused of being rude.

No, what's rude is going up to a complete stranger and telling them to cheer up. If you really were concerned about my emotional mood you would approach and ask if I was upset about something, not demand that I change my expression because it wasn't pleasing to you.

Now go away and maybe, JUST MAYBE, my expression of cheerlessness will vanish, as if there was a correlation between the two...

fatmammycat

I see what you're saying MM, but telling a person to cheer up doesn't automatically brighten their day- a lot of people, myself included, find it annoying and patronising. Being told to 'cheer up' by a random stranger when you're poodling along minding your own business is guaranteed to put me in bad form for a few minutes.

Vinny-Chase

Jeez I thought this was going to be a nice cheery Friday thread...how wrong I was

Gauge

I can't see how telling a genuinely depressed person to cheer up is a good thing to do. Surely it draws attention to something they would rather not have attention drawn to?

Without going into detail it's something I've experienced in the past and I know that I appreciated being told to cheer up even less than I do today- made me feel like utter crap at the time actually.

Hermione*

The-Rigger wrote: »

While I understand that your intentions are good, imo it would be better to ask them if they are alright/ok, rather than telling to 'smile' or 'cheer up' or even better 'cheer up - it might never happen'.

+1
I’ve often been told by random men to "smile" or "cheer up", and it annoys the hell out of me, especially when it’s 'cheer up - it might never happen'. Sometimes, I’m sad. Sad things have happened to me and sometimes, it's impossible not to think of them. It does not help to be told I should be smiling or cheerful. (Who the hell is cheerful 24/7 anyway?) Being told it might never happen when it already freaking has always tempts me to inform them that they’re too late. I’d love to see they guy’s face if I did.

Any guy who thinks that saying "smile" or "cheer up" to a girl counts as a chat up line does not know how to successfully chat up a girl.

iguana

Why the hell would somebody say something like that to anyone? It's bloody stupid. I had someone say it to me a few days after I had a miscarriage and I can tell you I doubt that person will ever say it to anyone ever again. Anyone who says that lacks basic cop on. Guess what, sometimes people who aren't smiling have a bloody good reason for not smiling. It's worth bearing in mind if for no other reason than the fact that anger is a stage of grief and you might find yourself on the butt end of that anger if you say it at the wrong time.

The Big Red Button

If someone says it to me, then either

(a) I'm genuinely upset or unhappy about something, and it's really not something I want to talk to a random stranger about

or

(b) I'm absolutely fine, but I've just been told by a randomer that I look unhappy. That's not going to do anything good for my mood, it'll just make me paranoid and self-concious.


If you see someone you don't know looking unhappy, and for some reason you genuinely feel the need to interfere, at least try making normal small talk. They mightn't be interested, but at least it won't insult them.

MJOR

they'd wanna cop on! Some people just aren't happy looking all the time.

cocoa

hah, I've come out the other end of this one. Been told by people that I often look like I'm about to go murder someone :pac: It's just my standard walking around and thinking face... I really do hate the 'cheer up' or 'smile' thing though. It's lazy, if you want me to smile, tell me a good joke or story, listen to me when I'm talking and make intelligent and/or witty remarks, etc. Earn it ffs...

Acacia

Yeah, I've wondered this myself as it is usually guys who say it to me. Reminds me of a story- I was buying a bottle of Fanta in my college shop and the guy behind the counter said to me (I guess I was in my own little world, it was an early lecture if I recall, who looks exactly looks radiant early in the morning anyway? :P) "Cheer up, it might never happen...".

He then took my drink and shook til it was really fizzy, and I wouldn't be able to open it cuz it would spill all over the place, and then said to me, "There you go, don't open that for awhile..." I was like, "Wtf?":eek:

Needless to say, I wasn't feeling very cheered up after he fizzed up my drink for no apparant reason...not that I was feeling down in the first place! :rolleyes:

Piste

I would have opened it in his face. That was downright uncalled for.

gollyitsolly

I actually love when lads say this to me. I have a front tooth missing and only wear my false one occasionally. You wanna see their their faces dropping when I give them a cheesy grin.:D

Acacia

Piste wrote: »

I would have opened it in his face. That was downright uncalled for.

I know it was so ...weird. The same guy always said something to me when I went into the shop. I just don't think he liked me, tbh.

Khannie

Acacia wrote: »

I just don't think he liked me, tbh.

Actually, it's probably the opposite. +1 on the wtf@fanta shaking.

Acacia

Khannie wrote: »

Actually, it's probably the opposite. +1 on the wtf@fanta shaking.

Hmm, he had a funny way of showing he liked me. I thought you were meant to be passed the ''pulling a girl's hair cuz you fancy her " thing in college!:pac:

My BF wanted to beat the head off him when I told him about the drink-shaking. At least I can look back and laugh now, though.

hdal

Guys, this is the wrong thing to say to a girl. It's sooo annoying & a bit insulting! Turns em right off