Social Anxiety Phobia/Disorder

Sul

skinny malinky wrote: »

Sul wrote: »

I stopped going to events with no alcohol, I spent all day in work in knots worrying about who would come through the door, who would I meet etc. If I met someone and had an episode id spend all day thinking about it, stressing out. It was horrible. It just came to a head one day, I woke up and literally couldn't leave the house and had to ring in sick to work. That was the turning point for me.... You leave the situation thinking the world is going to end but they leave and dont give it a second thought. Once you start concentrating more on that and get out of your head it gets better.

Jesus you've no idea how reassuring it is so read someone else goes through exactly what I go through.

During my first year in college I drank maybe three mornings a week in preparation for classes I was nervous about. Naggins on the bus at 8.30 in the morning, like a bloody hobo! Had to stop when people questioned me about the smell off my breath. I'm not an alcoholic or anything I just got it into my head that I couldn't interact without drink.

Have you ever tried hypnosis? There's some good Paul Mckenna ones on youtube

No ive never tried hypnosis. If im honest im not really a huge fan but I have found that exercising and looking after myself helps. It boost my confidence when I feel good about myself.

I too nearly went down the road of drinking. It crossed my mind a lot but I was also worried about losing my job. I mentioned to my doctor too and he said its a slippery slop. Could turn into an alcoholic doing that!

Im hoping to start college in September. Im worried but I know that if I want to succeed and progress I just have to bite the bullet and do it. Thats it! I can either spend the rest of my life living at home, safe and comfortable but unhappy or get out into the world and live my life!

I still blush. I still have days where I cant face anybody but they are a lot less frequent now and if I do blush I just forget about it. I learned too not to hide away. I used turn my back on people or change conversation topics anything to distract from what was going on on my face but now I just let it happen. If the person im talking to has a problem with it then thats their problem not mine!

I hope you get sorted soon. It really is a hard place to be but at least you know now you're not alone in the world

Starfox

Sul wrote: »

No ive never tried hypnosis. If im honest im not really a huge fan but I have found that exercising and looking after myself helps. It boost my confidence when I feel good about myself.

I too nearly went down the road of drinking. It crossed my mind a lot but I was also worried about losing my job. I mentioned to my doctor too and he said its a slippery slop. Could turn into an alcoholic doing that!

Im hoping to start college in September. Im worried but I know that if I want to succeed and progress I just have to bite the bullet and do it. Thats it! I can either spend the rest of my life living at home, safe and comfortable but unhappy or get out into the world and live my life!

I still blush. I still have days where I cant face anybody but they are a lot less frequent now and if I do blush I just forget about it. I learned too not to hide away. I used turn my back on people or change conversation topics anything to distract from what was going on on my face but now I just let it happen. If the person im talking to has a problem with it then thats their problem not mine!

I hope you get sorted soon. It really is a hard place to be but at least you know now you're not alone in the world

Hey Sul,

Just reading what you had to say, you know when you said by exercising it helps you feel good about yourself, thats exactly right, exercising increases endorphins. Endorphins are the body’s natural feel good chemicals

Im not sure if you read any of my previous posts, but what really helped me with my anxiety is meditation. Anxiety can come from over thinking, over analyzing (negative) situations repeatedly again and again.. you know the deal, but with meditation, and what i do is transcendental meditation, it relaxes you, calms you down, it helps you think clear and make decisions which would otherwise be very clouded anxious situations.

Also you know them situations where you are not looking forward to, to meeting someone, some people an event ect and you spend an unreasonable amount of time thinking about it before hand that you create more anxiety for yourself, that by the time it comes around when you have to go your in a heap... We'll that disappears. Everything becomes easier, i had depression too, but that went too

CBT seems to work for allot of people too, but thats not something i have tried, yet..

superhero87

Hi just like to drop in and say, I'm doing fantastic I've virtually no anxieties now, besides trying to pull when sober(quitting drinking and not depending on it helping me immensely) I got my second sober shift of my life last week even got a date(which admittedly didn't lead anywhere) with a girl I'd worshipped from afar for over a year, would have been terrified to talk to her a year ago even if I was drunk. compare this to the near suicidal who could hardly get out of bed to go the evil work place where "everybody hated me" , I really enjoy work now dare I say it (and I'm a cashier In tescos for ****s sake), I have many great friends there, always had I guess but I was too afraid or preoccupied to realize it, I've made some new friends too, a beutiful bromance is budding with a dude who the old me would have said I have nothing in common with and have nothing to interesting to say to . my last bout of depression possibibly being the worst(i checked myself into A & E twice because it was getting too much) is completely gone sure I have my ****ty days, buts thats all they are days. I owe most of my recovery to guidance from a great psychotherapist, (live in Galway, pm me for contact details), her and my own desire to get better EVERYBODY HAS THE ABILITY TO BE COMPLETELY HAPPY, IF ONE PERSON HAS DONE IT IS POSSIBLE, I think I can near safely say, I'm nearly there, a bit of regular sex and I'll be singing. main things that helped me: CBT(as my therapist says the main kernel of which a whole book or many books will teach you: A Situation B Belief C feeling depressed, eg meet "Barry" from work in the hallway at work (A that's the situation), you think to yourself "Barry" thinks I'm boring (B that's the hard thing to work out but the key to changing your feelings about a situation, and your resulting feelings (C), you have to challenge this belief. How do you know Barry is thinking your boring, he probably hasn't even noticed you, he could be thinking how hungry he is, what he has to do next in work, how **** that film he seen last night was, what he's going to have for lunch the possibilities are endless, but so many more times often than not he is not thinking about you, even if he is thinking your boring, think about someone you see as boring, do you hold any malice towards them, no , do you hate them? you probably just wish they'd relax and say something interesting. Plus if someone thinks your boring IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, YOU CAN STAND IT, often you tell yourself that you can't stand it, that it's the end of the world, YOU CAN, IT'S NOT (start applying this to everything)) mindful meditation (mindfulness a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world is the name of the book), exercise, The "Anxiety & Phobia Workbook" I bought it and the size of it really scared me, didn't end up using it but it gives you a good idea of the different areas you can attack. take time to do things you enjoy read or whatever, writing and drawing help me but that's me, still think creative writing is good for anyone, even if what you write is no good for toilet paper, writing kinda shuts off the thinking part of your mind, it will give you a break, who knows you may even be good at it. read gareth o callaghan's "a day called hope" a former rte broadcaster and now 4fm broadcastor, it deals with his years of depression, he says how writing uses a different part of the brain, he wrote a best seller while depressed as fook. In the words of the great David Bowie "do something outrageous" break up your cycle of staying indoors scouring the internet for a solution to your problem, go to the cinema "I've no one to go with" **** it go by yourself, it's more enjoyable in some ways, go to a comedy gig, who knows you may even smile, go to a play, go on a night out with your friends, even if you have a balls to the wall anxious night that makes you terribly depressed TAKE THE POSITIVE OUT OF IT, you have something to say to a co-worker if they ask "what did you get up to at the weekend?", they won't know you were awkwardly crying in the corner for the half an hour you could stand being in a social situation. Breaking your cycle breaks your negative thought patterns, start small going the full hog may scare you into submission, little progressive steps, even if you go miles backwards for weeks on end, you can always start again in the moment you realized you've done it, "nothing is as far away as one minute ago" (that's a bit of mindfulness in action there, I meditated(following the books plan) when I was bad with anxiety/depression A/D, but stopped when I got better, it did teach me the power of the present moment (just to note this is not just for people with depression, I self diagnosed myself with social anxiety, was convinced its what I had, true I had a lot of anxiety which was fed and was feeding on my/by my depression, I now truly believe each persons issues are entirely their own, don't get under the blanket/label of social anxiety, many things might fit you but your recovery is individual to you. I've learnt for me anyways and I do believe it applies to everyone that social anxiety doesn't apply to everyone. Everyone is different, its the **** that happened in your individual past that gives you hang ups today, something happens that draws up memories from your past. E.G. In work I was asked to stack shelves with items for a trolley, this was recently when I was mostly happy, after about ten minutes I started to get really panicky, thinking "**** I'm going really slow, I'm going to get in trouble" I stopped and checked myself seeing this a s being a bit irational, I thought where this might of come (this way of thinking coming from my therapist) My Dad used to always roar the house down giving out to me and my siblings for now doing any work around the house (he never asked us to do anything just gave out to us for not doing anything) we walked on egg shells, being asked to stack shelves by a manager the authority figure, it brought up my memories/feelings from the past, when I realized this my panic faded. Psychotherapy was the way to go for me, I have been seeing my current therapist since January, and for a year a year before that, if you go to one try and make every appointment, if you think drink or drugs are making your problems worse just quit, I gave up for six months a year or two ago, was always waiting for when I'd be well enough to drink again, I went back on it when I was feeling a little better , had a pretty decent year, but hadn't fundimentaly changed anything, wound up seriously depressed, more than I ever before, I've kicked it in for good now, trust me if I can do it anybody can, couldn't feel comfertable around certain people when I was drunk, now I can easily sit in their company , might feel slightly uncomfertable and have nothing to say, but it doesn't bother me, and I don't blame inwards (formerly a BIG problem for me) and with people like that If your not pressuring yourself to say something, sitting quietly until something comes up that you might actually have to say, you can slowly see a bond between you grow, eg friends of friends, ye build your own friendship independant of the one that brought you to meet this person. Another "issue" I had was seeing others say at work as better than me, what i Came to realize through my therapist was that eg people at work, are my equals, we bought got up, put on are uniforms made are way to work, we both eat, we both ****, we both brush our teeth, we both cry, we both get horny we.... we are equals. A friends mother always told him growing up "You are no better or worse than anyone". I'm still with my therapist and will be for the year at least, I working on my insecurities than I have left, they'll never be 100% gone but I can sure kick the **** out of them, down to something a lot more managable. Another note about not drinking, I go out an drink non alcoholic beers all night, bring them to house parties, and go for pints with the lads (Paulander probably the nicest, Erdinger at second and whatever you do stay away from becks gassey ****) I just had to realize that I was sensitive to alcohol. A couple of hours of fake happiness does not outweigh what I have now, I've finally started writing (something I've drunkenly talked about for years) I'm drawing, I've just started my first comic book, I've surprized myself by designing t-shirts which lead to a little side business, I'M LEARNING TO SWIM, never thought I'd knock that off my to do list, never would have done these things were I still drinking. I hope this comes as some use to someone, it's been therapeutic as **** for me. PM me if ya want a chat about anything

superhero87

Also came to a realization one morning before work, woke hours before my alarm clock as I always did in the height of my A/D, with the usual gut wrenching despair/dread of going to work, I second guessed my second guessing by chance I guess, I thought whats the worst that's really going to happen, I'm going to have some awkward conversations with people, that was the begining of the end of it

Dannydman

Hi all, I am 26 and this is my first post on this topic..

Looking back I think social anxiety is something that has been with me all my life in some shape or form. It is only in recent years that I can put a name on it. I mean when you are young you just think you are shy and you will grow out of it, however for me this was not the case. It has taken me years to put a name on how I feel. At first I thought I was depressed but upon further self reflection and research I now know I suffer from social anxiety.

I am extremely self conscious, it is as if I am contantly on edge when I am out doing anything, this results in me trying to avoid the feeling by not doing much. I hate it so much. I do try and try and try to force myself to do things however the social anxiety simply seems to multiply. As you can imagine this is not much of a life to live, SA makes if very hard to make close friends meaning I have lived my life so far with just a few close friends.. I would give anything to live a normal life. I have even lived and worked abroad for a year but the SA was still in full effect.

I have been taking lexipro for years and have started seeing a counsellor however I am starting to think that I will always have this social anxiety and will never find peace. I should be out living but instead I am avoiding life, That is how much of a nightmare SA is.

I know there are others who suffer this daily battle with life, I would love to hear from people in the same boat, I would also love any advice, groups, meds etc that have helped people. I need to escape this 24-7 hell. It makes me feel so isolated, lonely and down.
I feel stupid for having SA it is a curse, there seems to be so little help out their in Ireland. I want the help so let’s work together and kick the **** out of SA….

Email me if you have lived with the hell that is SA.

superhero87

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93pID40xKoM&feature=g-upl

DeWitt

superhero87 wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93pID40xKoM&feature=g-upl

Very helpful, and it's great to see & hear of someone who has been able to overcome it.Will be keeping an eye out for more in the series and that book you mentioned too.

Xim1

social anxiety is one o the worst things that can happen to anyone, I used to be 'normal' but then not sure what happened and started to get all weird around my friends and afraid of going out , needed to be drunk to have fun and it wasn't fun at the end... lost my job and got into trouble now I am back on track recovering from my episode and trying to meet new people and not drinking ! I tried several things to get over my fear and need to say EFT helped a lot

<modsnip>

clancyboy

Is there anyone who has any luck with meds or doctors? I have ocd on top of social anxiety and depression to cream it off. I have had terrible luck with doctors between them not understanding social anxiety to complete lack of compassion and empathy. I had one psychologist tell me to just explain to everyone that i had social anxiety and that was why i am the way i am. i had my doubts from the start but i never realized how bad a mistake it turn out to be. my family now they just think im absolutely crazy and are always trying to monitor me now. I told a good few of my friends and most of them have little or nothing to do with me now. I actually ended up having to quit my job because people started acting different towards me, things like i was no longer asked to do anything people avoiding me when they were warm towards me before. The few people i was comfortable around i ended up pushing them away when i told them i had SAD. my family are always trying to find out my condition with blatant comments like stories about mentally ill people(probable made up) that got help and lived happily ever after. I feel like the only normal thing i had in my life is gone now because some pushy no it all psychologist gave me extremely poor advise.

I used to go to hypnotherapists and energy healers(bio energy) NLP therapists out of desperation but after thousands flushed down the jacks i swore i would never turn my back on science again after all the bogus claims and promises from alternative therapists, i realized that people in my mental state were there bread & butter, people with little hope and desperate for a cure. I have realized that a lot of psychiatrists and psychologists are no better. i always explain my story and ask whoever im attending for the truth and not to be telling me lies and giving me false hope like Nardil or prozac is a cure or CBT is a cure, but i was still being told this crap. I went on meds and when i starded getting no benefit and plenty of side effects i was accused of acting up in spite and not giving the meds a chance. I have seen 3 different psychiatrists and 4 psychologists and each one has diagnosed me with different mental disorders from generalized anxiety, ocd, bi polar, social anxiety, angoraphobia. you cant help but ask how much does science really understand the brain. why are the same meds used to treat so many different mental disorders and psychiatric illness. I know in my heart in soul the way neuroscience is progressing that in the next 5 -10 years better treatment will emerge from areas like optogenetics research in mcgovern institute. they have already discovered a anxiety circuit in the amygdala a area that was previously ruled out. hope is so near yet so far

Bee82

Johro wrote: »

Yup, I get the old panic attacks alright, have done for years. I might be okay for a while and a panic attack will get me all of a sudden, always when I'm out, rarely happens at home, which I guess tells it's own story. I'll start to feel hot, my head especially, I'll feel my heart racing, my mouth will go dry and I'll have trouble swallowing, I'll start to feel dizzy and trembly, I think I can't breathe and I'll try and get a deep breath, which I can't and that of course just makes the palpitations worse, it's just a mess. All the while I'd be thinking 'Got to get the hell out of here! Gotta get home.'
This kinda thing typically seems to happen to me when I'm shopping or something and waiting in a queue at the checkout, which just makes the panic worse coz you think everyone can see it and thinks you're a nutter. If I'm feeling a bit fragile (which happens when you're thinking 'I hope I don't get panicky like last time') when I walk into the local supermarket and see a long queue at the tills I'll walk straight back out again.
What doesn't help, and I think it's because of all this, is that I've become agoraphobic. Also, I have had the odd epileptic fit. Now I gotta say that hasn't happened for what must be close to ten years now, but I'm afraid of it happening. Not the fit itself, I can feel it coming on before it happens and I know to be somewhere safe, what frightens me is that I don't remember anything for a good two to three hours afterwards. Total amnesia. I won't remember my name, where or when I am. The last time it happened, I was in Dublin, when I came to, someone asked me 'do you know where you are?' and I said ' the Hague'. (I'm from Holland originally) This is a scary thing for me, and it started off my agoraphobia, so now I simply hardly ever go anywhere on my own. I have days where I'm okay, and I think those are days where I'm feeling better about myself because I achieved something that day, or did something I've wanted/needed to do for a long time, or did something for someone that made them happy, or maybe I got praise or compliments from someone that made me feel good.
This is why I think that it's all about my perception of myself.
I know I'm a nice person, I know I'm a good friend who people can talk to and relate to, that I'm not bad looking and I'm capable and smart enough etc., but subconsciously, deep down, I guess I don't know all those things, I think coz I had a lot of bad **** happen to me in my childhood, which I won't go in to right now, but it was enough to rob me of my confidence and my trust in people.
So there it is.
The thing is, I can't really blame the people who hurt me or deserted me when I was a kid, partly because it serves no one, partly because they were messed up themselves, and also because I need to take charge of my own life.
So for now, when I get panicky, I try to slow down my breathing (breathe into your belly, not into your chest, in 5 seconds, out 5 seconds), find a quiet spot, and I think: 'This will pass. It always does.'
And it always does. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but it does pass. Hey if it happens to you, it's worth a try. And give yourself a little credit.

Your post just made me cry - its so sad, but also a strange relief to think there are people feeling the same things. Especially saying you know you are smart, know you are nice etc but dont feel it. I think our childhood shapes us all and I know mine is the root of the problem for me.
I am having therapy and staying optimistic- I hope you are tacling your demons too!!
Best Wishes!

clancyboy

I think your right about childhood shapes people but some people i think are just more susceptible. I read lately that in general older sibling dont develop mental disorders as much as younger sibling which makes a lot of sense. I hope therapy is going well for you & everything works out for the best. All we can do is keep trying

Johro

I think the problem is that there is no 'cure' that suits everybody, we all react differently to different situations, and advice (or meds) that are of great help to a particular person may do nothing for another with similar symptoms.
For me what's most important is to put myself in charge of my own well-being as much as possible, like make time to do a daily exercise routine or relaxation exercise or something, whatever works for you, just something that makes you take a little time out to devote to yourself.
I used to do a bit of yoga to settle me and that did definitely help, just twenty minutes to half an hour every day, I downloaded an audio yoga exercise from yogadownloads.com, it's free for half hour classes and you get an mp3 audio download and pdf posture chart.
Lately though I've been concentrating on getting fitter, I felt I wasn't getting enough exercise through driving everywhere, so I got myself a treadmill (99 euro from argos) and I do half an hour on that instead, been doing it for a few months now, started off with ten minutes here or there, now used to the half hour a day. It's helped me loads, and I guess it's because when you look and feel fit your confidence is boosted as well.
I know it won't help everyone but it made a big difference to me, especially when you consider a lot of it is about confidence after all. Even when you don't get the benefit of exercise straight away, you'll feel better for having done it.

Btw, I used to feel I couldn't breathe properly when I got a panic attack, I felt I couldn't get in enough air and would end up gasping for breath, which of course makes you panic more, and the best advice I got for that was to not fight it, but instead of trying so hard to get a breath in, breathe out instead, as much as you can, and your body's reflex will make you breathe in and breathe normally all by itself, that really works. So now whenever I feel a bit panicky, I let my breath out slowly and take in a breath, then breathe out slowly again, til I feel better, which doesn't take long.
Also, I know that you can't always help yourself and for some problems you might want to see a professional, but I believe in being independent as much as possible, and would rather not rely on meds or rescue remedies or whatever, I just think that the best way of feeling in charge is to put yourself in charge and just do it.
Worked for me anyway.

nervousneddy

I'm really glad I found this thread it's comforting to know there are other people who experience the same feelings as me. I've suffered with social anxiety since my teens (I'm now 33). I was originally diagnosed with depression when I was 21. I was put on antidepressants which worked for a while but then stopped. Then I was put on anti-anxiety meds which were brilliant but recently had to stop because I became so dependent on them.

I've always felt really paranoid around people and never able to completely relax and be myself. Always worrying in case they thought negatively about me. Always ruminating over conversations I have with people scanning them for things I may have said that made me sound stupid or that may have offended people. Every time I walk down the street I worry about the way I walk in case I look funny or odd to the point I'd end up stumbling or tripping as I walk by people.

Recently its got very bad. I dread going to work. I work in a small space shared by 8 people and a lot of the time there is dead silence and I just can't bear it sometimes. I think Oh God somebody say something to someone I can't bear this. When I try and initiate conversation I hate the sound of my own voice and I think what I'm saying is dumb and of no interest to anyone and I end up getting embarrassed and stressed and my cheeks go bright red. I count the minutes to break time when I can get out of the environment for a break. When I walk by somebody in the hallway in work I look at their face and think they are judging me. I try to say hello and I just mutter and then I think they must think I'm so dumb and annoying. If I have to take a phone call in work I will do my best to do it in private and quickly so noone will hear me talk. If someone is watching me carry out a task my hands start to shake. Like signing my name in front of people, my signature is all shaky. If I make a mistake in work I get really embarrassed and think that I'm so stupid for doing that. Staff meetings are the worst. The last one we had I had my first panic attack and had to run out of the room. I was mortified.

When I go shopping in the supermarket (which I dread, especially if its busy) I have to know exactly what I want and ill run round and get everything quickly or else I'll have to move in and out of people and get in their way and they'll get annoyed at me for getting in their way. If I stop to look at the shelves I feel like people are pushing and shoving by me and wishing I would just move. Sometimes I get really annoyed and wish they would all just go away. When I get to the checkout and have to stand in a queue I think people are looking at me. I think that they will see how anxious I look. I worry in case I do something stupid and embarrass myself and my cheeks go bright red. I have to make sure I have my money ready so that I can pay quickly and not hold anyone up.

This anxiety has become so pervasive in my life that I've become so reclusive. I only leave the house when I absolutely have to like going to work or going food shopping and even then I sometimes feel frozen at the door before I leave. I've completely isolated myself from people because its become too painful and humiliating to interact with them. I feel hopelessly imprisoned in my life.

At the moment I'm doing CBT and I'm getting to the root of why I'm feeling like this. As part of the therapy I have to do certain tasks to try and get past this. I haven't been successful with these yet because I feel too terrified to go out in public and do these because the pain I feel inside when I embarrass myself is just too much. I hope I can get the courage to overcome these fears. I will keep trying. I'm thinking of applying for the social anxiety group in the Mater as well. It might help me to meet people who feel similar and that might inspire me a bit to overcome some of my fears

Sandumon

First post for me on my SA and I'm 35! I've had it since my late teens and only sought help in the last year. CBT was fine but I forget to practice it in everyday life.

Unlike some of the posts above I don't suffer panic attacks, hold down a professional job, can perform well at interviews/presentations, have nice material things, go on foreign holidays and appear to be socially confident. Truth is I have SA and struggle with it everyday. I'm not sure why I have it, don't really care to be honest.

Might be interested in meeting others with SA, if such an event exists, as I've never spoken to anyone about this apart from my CBT therapist and am determined to tackle this.

dd972

Had a phone interview for a job today, all prepared and relaxed beforehand. had all my notes and what to say ready and didn't perceive any problems.

Anyway the phone rang, the guy introduced himself and explained the format and what would be asked, I've had these before by the way.

He then proceeded with the questions, and **** me !

What should have come out of my mouth as an understandable discourse was reduced to a hesitant load of umming and awwing, rapid nervous sounding bits of speech, being asked by him to re explain myself etc, etc.

And all the while it was happening I was thinking ''Why am I feeling this level of fear and anxiety, I'm not in any threatening or dangerous situation? ''If I was pinned up against a wall down a dark alley with a loaded pistol held to my head, then yes this would be understandable but for talking to someone friendly and non threatening on a phone this was ridiculous.

I'm of the inclination that there has to be a neurological or physiological inclination in some people to feel this level of fear and people who come across as confident and relaxed are not afflicted by this.

A bit of nervousness and anxiety in all people is normal, but what I think fecked up my job chances today is bordering on a disability.

SCOOP 64

Did you get the job?

S.A.D.

Hi everybody, I'm in a very desperate state at the moment. I have had social anxiety disorder since about 13. I didn't show obvious symptoms to those around me but I put on as much of an act as I could not to appear "odd" while at school. Nonetheless, outside of school I rarely left my room and never went anywhere without my parents. When school ended I spent 5 years in my bedroom. I got to college through an enormous amount of courage building and a push from my parents who thought I was just lazy. I am a total social screw up and can never make long lasting friendships or do the things I'd like out of fear. Any sort of confrontations makes me have a panic attack and makes me freeze stone cold. I'm afraid of going places and no matter how much people say "you will get used to doing things and combat it", that just isn't true. I went to college, put on my act once settled in and now have less confidence in myself. My biggest trouble however is that I am now 30, my parents have never sought treatment for my psychological problems, I don't have the money for psychological treatment and spent most of my life not even being able to help myself because thats part of the problem, facing new people. I did get me GP to send me to the state funded place but they gave me a brush off. My mother does care for me but is ignorant to mental illness. Now, my father wants me out of the house. For over a decade I've tried to communicate my problems to him but he doesn't care. I used to feel suicidal but I feel I overcame that some time ago but I am feeling sick to my stomach as to what to do. I have panic attacks the whole time when I am required to face any stranger who can have an authority or opinion over me. I can't live without the blanket care of the home I grew up in. I just don't know what to do or where to turn. Please, I hope somebody here has some answers.

JDAWG90

hey S.A.D, I just happened to be looking up stuff on forums about anxiety in Ireland and stumbled across your post. I myself suffer with social anxiety and I understand completely how u feel, especially the bit about people in authority. I have been lucky enough to get help through my college without costing a fortune, this support helped me loads and thaught me how to deal with the condition. I understand that u may not have much money but The best advice I can give is to go to another gp and tell them your problems, they will probly prescribe u some xanax, this drug is a lifesaver, it is the best tool to enable u to begin to deal with your condition, this along with therapy or councilling can really improve you and I would recommend spending your last dollar on the gp if needs be as it will stand to you.
there is also alot to be said for lifestyle changes like avoiding abuse of alcohol(even one drink every 2 days can be enough to noticably worsen your condition) avoiding caffeine and eating healthy. Exercise can be a great help to give u self confidence and better equip u for fearful situations. Taking pride in your appearance also reduces anxiety, for example shower daily and groom often, when u look good u feel good. meditation is another thing u can do to ease the mind and is as simple as watching a video of it on youtube.

I hope some of the info above is helpful, and just remember, things will get better and there is always some1 that understands how u feel and willing to listen!! look after yourself, remember you are THE man!!!!

stop animal cruelty

JDAWG90 wrote: »

hey S.A.D, I just happened to be looking up stuff on forums about anxiety in Ireland and stumbled across your post. I myself suffer with social anxiety and I understand completely how u feel, especially the bit about people in authority. I have been lucky enough to get help through my college without costing a fortune, this support helped me loads and thaught me how to deal with the condition. I understand that u may not have much money but The best advice I can give is to go to another gp and tell them your problems, they will probly prescribe u some xanax, this drug is a lifesaver, it is the best tool to enable u to begin to deal with your condition, this along with therapy or councilling can really improve you and I would recommend spending your last dollar on the gp if needs be as it will stand to you.
there is also alot to be said for lifestyle changes like avoiding abuse of alcohol(even one drink every 2 days can be enough to noticably worsen your condition) avoiding caffeine and eating healthy. Exercise can be a great help to give u self confidence and better equip u for fearful situations. Taking pride in your appearance also reduces anxiety, for example shower daily and groom often, when u look good u feel good. meditation is another thing u can do to ease the mind and is as simple as watching a video of it on youtube.

I hope some of the info above is helpful, and just remember, things will get better and there is always some1 that understands how u feel and willing to listen!! look after yourself, remember you are THE man!!!!

how does the xanax work for you? do u still suffer with SA?

JDAWG90

Hey, yes I still suffer from SA but not to the extent I once did, infact I'd say I'm 80% better maybe 90%! I was prescribed 0.5g to take 3 times a day, and this makes u feel much more calmer and less aware of things like, "did I do that right" "did I sound like a fool" and what other pple may be thinkin, it worked so well in the beginning that I would forget to look for on coming traffic when crossing road. I soon adjusted to the drug and began to use it just when I began to feel anxious, the feelings rapidly disapate and instea of taking 3 a day I adjust to maybe 1 every 1-2 days. Because Xanax allows you to get through normally anxious times you begin to learn that your fears are irrational and that it ain't so bad! This being said its still normal to fear public speaking or a meeting with your boss, these occasions I still take a Xanax before hand and everything is just fine. With Xanax it is important not to abuse it and only take it when u really feel anxiety coming on and not just cos u feel a little bit down. Only bad side effect I've noticed is it can make u sleep and I have fallen asleep on a bus!:-) but if you drink lots of water after it generally wakes u up. There's a reason this is the number 1 drug for anxiety and that's cos it works, it saved me!

Starfox

When i created this thread i asked the admin to pin it but i never realized it would be so successful, so a big thanks

I have created a facebook group for people in Ireland with Social Anxiety, it is very much a secret group so nobody will know your in it, see your posts or activity unless of course they are also in it.

I have just created it so not many members but it could have the potential to grow. And its purpose is to attract like minded people that also suffer from this to discuss it, help each other and even meet up or arrange group meet ups if wanted.

So, if anyone is interested in joining and essentially making new friends please send me a PM and i can add you.

Thanks

also* send me your email addy attached to your facebook

markomuscle

Hi, i have social anxiety disorder as well.

It has gradually got worse over the last 6 years, it wasn't until i was 18 three years ago that i found out that there was a name for it.

I have found out recently that the less confident I get the worse the symptoms have become, the worst is blushing, in any situation i feel uncomfortable in now my face heats up and i start to sweat. I am looking into hypnotherapy for that as i'm at the end of my tether with it.

stop animal cruelty

markomuscle wrote: »

Hi, i have social anxiety disorder as well.

It has gradually got worse over the last 6 years, it wasn't until i was 18 three years ago that i found out that there was a name for it.

I have found out recently that the less confident I get the worse the symptoms have become, the worst is blushing, in any situation i feel uncomfortable in now my face heats up and i start to sweat. I am looking into hypnotherapy for that as i'm at the end of my tether with it.

Hey lm the same age as you and have a bad time with the blushing! l honestly thought l was the only person in the world, that had this problem, it wasnt til l was 16/17 that l heard of SA, it was such a relief to find out l wasnt the only one.

l have to say, it has gotten better over time, why? well l think its cause lv just gotten so use to going red, l tend to just say to myself "fuk it" or "l dont give a sh*t if lv gone red" l use try and forget it. l know its really hard but like if you dont dwell and worry everytime you have gone red in front of someone, l find l forget about it! They say you have to face your fear, so times when l have been bright, bright red talking to someone, l have looked them in the eye, and it actually felt as if my secret is out, they know l go red , they dont know why, but its like its less pressure to cover it up, you know?

find out what is the root cause of your SA, l know what mine is and its not my fault lm like this. Its really important not to beat yourself up, treat and talk to yourself like how you would to a friend who had this problem. I went bright red today talking to a lad, now usually ld say for no reason...but there was...l asked him if he was related to this girl l work with, and thought l knew his father aswel cause he is the chef in the hotel l work in...l had this flash thought, it was my concious...telling me "l know his dad thinks lm an eejet and usless cause l often mess up orders etc"...now if l didnt think that, if l didnt give a flying ****e what that man thought of me..l would not have gone red....see thats what happends when you beat yourself up...this ****ty little stupid thoughts sticks in your head and pop up out of the blue in any social suituations...for years l beat myself up which did make the SA worse.

Sorry for going on and on, but your not alone. You not weird. I wish I had the cure for this, but my only advice, is keep strong, keep going, people are always gonna judge weather you go red or not. Find out the root cause, this is where hypotherapy will come in handy, and work on it. I think things will get easier in the furture, if we learn to love and accept ourselves and grow confidence.

markomuscle

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Hey lm the same age as you and have a bad time with the blushing! l honestly thought l was the only person in the world, that had this problem, it wasnt til l was 16/17 that l heard of SA, it was such a relief to find out l wasnt the only one.

l have to say, it has gotten better over time, why? well l think its cause lv just gotten so use to going red, l tend to just say to myself "fuk it" or "l dont give a sh*t if lv gone red" l use try and forget it. l know its really hard but like if you dont dwell and worry everytime you have gone red in front of someone, l find l forget about it! They say you have to face your fear, so times when l have been bright, bright red talking to someone, l have looked them in the eye, and it actually felt as if my secret is out, they know l go red , they dont know why, but its like its less pressure to cover it up, you know?

find out what is the root cause of your SA, l know what mine is and its not my fault lm like this. Its really important not to beat yourself up, treat and talk to yourself like how you would to a friend who had this problem. I went bright red today talking to a lad, now usually ld say for no reason...but there was...l asked him if he was related to this girl l work with, and thought l knew his father aswel cause he is the chef in the hotel l work in...l had this flash thought, it was my concious...telling me "l know his dad thinks lm an eejet and usless cause l often mess up orders etc"...now if l didnt think that, if l didnt give a flying ****e what that man thought of me..l would not have gone red....see thats what happends when you beat yourself up...this ****ty little stupid thoughts sticks in your head and pop up out of the blue in any social suituations...for years l beat myself up which did make the SA worse.

Sorry for going on and on, but your not alone. You not weird. I wish I had the cure for this, but my only advice, is keep strong, keep going, people are always gonna judge weather you go red or not. Find out the root cause, this is where hypotherapy will come in handy, and work on it. I think things will get easier in the furture, if we learn to love and accept ourselves and grow confidence.

A big part of my problem is image, when i look better i seem to be more confident, it's a bit of a cycle, as i lost confidence i stopped working out and then got out of shape and lost more confidence, I have started to workout again and i'm sure it will improve my confidence in my self at least a little bit. I have recently got a book about social anxiety cbt from the library which i have started to read.

ihate6thyear

I'm nineteen and I was diagnosed with social anxiety. I'm currently repeating my leaving cert and it's so bad that it brings on terrible migraines which means I miss school a lot. This summer I attended an anxiety course in St. Pats hospital and it really helped me! The key to social anxiety is to stop avoiding the things that make you anxious. The more you avoid it the worse it gets. You have to expose yourself if you want it to get better. The course helped me a bit and provided me with a lot of support. I'm going to do the level 2 of the course next summer when I'm finished school. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has any type of anxiety (GAD, SA, agoraphobia, panic) just get your doctor to refer you on. Hope this is of some help to anyone who is suffering!

Starfox

ihate6thyear wrote: »

I'm nineteen and I was diagnosed with social anxiety. I'm currently repeating my leaving cert and it's so bad that it brings on terrible migraines which means I miss school a lot. This summer I attended an anxiety course in St. Pats hospital and it really helped me! The key to social anxiety is to stop avoiding the things that make you anxious. The more you avoid it the worse it gets. You have to expose yourself if you want it to get better. The course helped me a bit and provided me with a lot of support. I'm going to do the level 2 of the course next summer when I'm finished school. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has any type of anxiety (GAD, SA, agoraphobia, panic) just get your doctor to refer you on. Hope this is of some help to anyone who is suffering!

Im happy its working for you

arsenal1991

ihate6thyear wrote: »

I'm nineteen and I was diagnosed with social anxiety. I'm currently repeating my leaving cert and it's so bad that it brings on terrible migraines which means I miss school a lot. This summer I attended an anxiety course in St. Pats hospital and it really helped me! The key to social anxiety is to stop avoiding the things that make you anxious. The more you avoid it the worse it gets. You have to expose yourself if you want it to get better. The course helped me a bit and provided me with a lot of support. I'm going to do the level 2 of the course next summer when I'm finished school. I would highly recommend this course to anyone who has any type of anxiety (GAD, SA, agoraphobia, panic) just get your doctor to refer you on. Hope this is of some help to anyone who is suffering!

I don't avoid things that make me nervous and still struggle. Perhaps I need to do I more

stop animal cruelty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1IH4j_mwjw just came across this

stop animal cruelty

http://socialanxietyireland.com/social-anxiety/social-anxiety-ireland/ Came across this website, gives a good insight to SA, bit of advice and tips, hopfully it might be of help to someone...

2scared

Social phobia is torture. I've tried everything - medication, counselling, CBT, group therapy - and nothing has worked, not even a little bit. I have no friends, no job, no money. I live with my parents and I'm almost 30. I've never had sex; actually, I've never been kissed or even hugged. I feel direfully, achingly lonely. If someone was kind to me or even spoke warmly to me I would probably have a complete meltdown. At school I got straight As and now I'm nothing, trapped in a prison with no way out. People in jail have a better standard of living. I'm morbidly depressed and lacking in energy. I cloak my pain under a very unappealing facade of cynicism and misanthropy. I have constant anxiety about my financial future and I even fear homelessness. I can't believe this is what I've become. Every day is like 'Groundhog Day' without the humour. I can see no way out, not even suicide, which would destroy my parents.

I'm not sure what the point of saying all that was, but there you go. *screams*