Social Anxiety Phobia/Disorder

Johro

Wow. That must've took you a while. Hope you're quicker at typing than I am.;)
Gotta say thanks for all that, lot of info there, I'd already read some of it but not all, appreciate ya taking the time. A lot of the posters on this particular topic should get a lot out of it, so em.. Nice one Superhero.

superhero87

cheers dude, most of its copy and pasted, just got a book on cbt, am working through that, also joined a grow self help group, think they can be worth checking out

Limousine Fred

Hey! Has anyone completed CBT for Social anxiety disorder? If so did it improve or combat your anxiety? How many sessions did you complete? Did the symptoms come back? I'm asking as I have just started CBT myself and am curious about the experiences/successes of others.

Starfox

Limousine Fred wrote: »

Hey! Has anyone completed CBT for Social anxiety disorder? If so did it improve or combat your anxiety? How many sessions did you complete? Did the symptoms come back? I'm asking as I have just started CBT myself and am curious about the experiences/successes of others.

How is this going for you?

Starfox

I think i need to add a few more points from my experience of SA.

Not everybody experiences this in the same way, or more so behaves the same way because of SA.

Some people close up and become to nervous and anxious to express themselves as they truly are, in a confident way even though they know inside who they really are most people have never seen that side of them, which can be hard.

Then you have people where it has hit them so hard and for so long that their actual behavior is different, cbt is definitely the answer here.

And you also have people that have SA but you would never think it, they are nervous, and socially anxious but instead of being as quiet as a mouse and keep to themselves ect they can be on edge, angry, self conscious, defensive and can put on an act thats not themselves, like to protect there ego. And then again there are those that can experience all these depends what mood they are in..

You also have people that are nervous and socially anxious but dont seem so at all, but stay to themselves all the time and in cases like this, people can easily misjudge them as being arrogant (to good to talk to you) unsocial, or even creepy or weird...

SA is a very very broad subject, and anyone that experiences one disorder can experience trades of others to, and a disorder is only a disorder when it gets out of control, as in gets in the way and prevents you from having a normal life, everybody experiences SA om some level. The trick is to stop caring what people think...

O and socialize... lol yes i am aware that is the problem, but the more you do the easier it gets...period!

DeWitt

Anyone interested in forming a SA chat group? The thread is good, but there's not that much activity.

Limousine Fred

Starfox wrote: »

How is this going for you?

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Limousine Fred

Limousine Fred wrote: »

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Hey sorry for the late reply.
Would recommend CBT to anyone but you need to be committed eg give up drugs, alcohol or any safety behavior you employ.
It's also very expensive even to see a student therapist is 70 - 80 euro and go to your GP don't just look someone up online.
I ended up completing 6 sessions which really is not that many, basically in the last session I had nothing left to write down that was making me anxious apart from approaching girls without getting nervous.
No matter how bad you feel there is hope if you get help. I'm not saying I'm 100% better but I'm a long way from panic attacks on the bus/luas or in college and avoiding social situations.
At the end of the day everyone gets socially anxious from time to time they maybe just don't show it or talk about it.
And if you do drugs stop!! they mess with your head and make you worse.
Couldn't agree more with Starfox you have to stop caring about what other people think and bit by bit you'll get better but it does take time.
Hope this helps some of ye, had a lot more to say but I wasn't signed in and it got wiped lol.

Limousine Fred

DeWitt wrote: »

Anyone interested in forming a SA chat group? The thread is good, but there's not that much activity.

Great idea but I@d imagine it will be hard to get the numbers.

K09

Hi,

Has anyone used toastmasters to overcome SA?

Thanks.

Starfox

Im at the stage now wher i honestly could not care what people think.... thats SA in essense, im just a bad conversationalist, from years of being anti social, something i have to work on now, toastmasters seems interesting can you tell me more about it?

K09

Starfox wrote: »

Im at the stage now wher i honestly could not care what people think.... thats SA in essense, im just a bad conversationalist, from years of being anti social, something i have to work on now, toastmasters seems interesting can you tell me more about it?

Some information on toastmasters here. They have clubs all over Ireland.
As far as I know it is a 2hr meeting where members give a prepared speech. Each member works up the levels to where they are an accomplished speaker.

Thinking of joining myself so wondering if anyone here has been??

Nodferatu

i suffer from social phobia too, though im not a severe extreme case i am still quite bad with it. its crippled me and held me back a lot in life, i never had a girlfriend, i never went to my debs ball back in secondary school, i have missed out a lot on things, also i have bad conversation skills, my mind goes blank, literally and i cant find anything to talk about. those awkward silence moments.
i was bullied in school so had depression through that, after school i was 4 years at home unemployed with manic depression, i had no friends at all. 4 years living as a hermit in isolation in my bedroom have messed up my conversational skills. i finally got a employed and been in that job 6 years now, but im very shy and still don't have any social life or friends to hang out with, just 1 or 3 internet friends i talk to. apart from the nervous anxiety from going out when i do rarely, conversations are my biggest fault.

ugliest

Hi!

Just a quick word to say that I've completed a cbt for SA group course thingy and it was most definitely one of the best things I've ever done for myself ever. It was a group of about people and we had 14 sessions that were about 2.5 hrs long. Cannot recommend it highly enough. We were told to read ‘Overcoming Social Anxiety & Shyness’ by Gillian Butler (Robinson Publishers), and I think it's a really, really good book.

SA really is something that you need to keep working on for a long time even after cbt, but the difference in your quality of life makes it all worth it. I think we were told that everybody has some improvement from cbt, but it takes some people longer than others to get the full effect, like, sometimes cbt is only the starting point and you have to do a lot of work yourself over the months following it.

I learnt soooo much about myself in cbt and learnt so much about SA.

If anyone has any questions about it or wants to talk, feel free to pm me

Nodferatu

ugliest wrote: »

Hi!

Just a quick word to say that I've completed a cbt for SA group course thingy and it was most definitely one of the best things I've ever done for myself ever. It was a group of about people and we had 14 sessions that were about 2.5 hrs long. Cannot recommend it highly enough. We were told to read ‘Overcoming Social Anxiety & Shyness’ by Gillian Butler (Robinson Publishers), and I think it's a really, really good book.

SA really is something that you need to keep working on for a long time even after cbt, but the difference in your quality of life makes it all worth it. I think we were told that everybody has some improvement from cbt, but it takes some people longer than others to get the full effect, like, sometimes cbt is only the starting point and you have to do a lot of work yourself over the months following it.

I learnt soooo much about myself in cbt and learnt so much about SA.

If anyone has any questions about it or wants to talk, feel free to pm me

i been looking into cbt recently and im in a bad way i need to get help, can you maybe give me advise how or where to go about it, do i go to a gp and ask him or go to a mental health centre for it or what? i might buy that book or look it up too!

ugliest

I went through: http://www.socialanxietyireland.com/ and referred myself.

The waiting list is about a year I think :-/

When I first got treatment for muh depression I went to my gp, then she referred me to a mental health centre. Generally the first course of action is the gp, they'll be able to give you a referral (makes everything go a lot faster) or at least point you in the right direction.

If there are things you want to do but can't because of your social phobia, then it's definitely worth trying to change. It's your life and you're completely entitled to live it the way you want, and to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

For me as well, after not going out for a few months/year at a time, it really does a number on your self-esteem, even more so, and makes it even harder to be around people.

You have a job and you're accepting that you have social anxiety and your life doesn't have to be this way. That's progress and an accomplishment and a really good start so you should be proud of yourself for that.

It can sometimes take a while to notice much difference and it can be hard at times, but really, what do you have to lose? At the very least you'll know you tried and put yourself out there and can be proud of yourself for taking control. Learning about it really helps you understand it and feel less self-conscious and guilty about it.

Let us know how you get on.

(-don't think I'd have any friends to this day if it weren't for being able to chat with people on the internet :P)

Starfox

I can say that since i first posted this thread i have come along way, i have a long way to go but like that last post, its my life and im going to start living it. Im moving to Dublin this summer, and im (and so happy about) just about over my SA, i still have trouble sometimes being outgoing, or talkative, im still usually the quietest of the bunch, but not always my main problem now is just being able to talk about anything.. but ill get there.

I think i want to help people with this, because i have lost my 'anxiety' about being around people, i really really really could not give a rats a$$ about what people might and might not think about me, so thats SA at its core, im not sure how to help, but id be willing to meet other people with this and get a group going or whatever, i have a fello dj friend in england who does something similar you can check him out here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHUlGoVYAgs&feature=related

http://www.facebook.com/login/setashome.php?ref=home#!/alexander.allen1




You see this is a very misunderstood condition and the best experts are YOU! the people with SA, so nobody knows better about this than you. If anyone wants to input any thoughts on this, ill have plenty of time to think something up.

Starfox

Or if anyone is not up for meeting but would still like a chat sometime just send me a pm, and ill give you my msn addy or fb or what ever.

superhero87

just like to say iv been through it and am happily out the other end, same as starfox, if u wana chat private msg me, i would be more than happy to lend an ear, we can facebook or exchange numbers, seriously dont hesitate, i know how ****ing though it can be

HUNK

I referred myself to the Mater Group. Will be waiting about 9 - 12 months, a wait time I was expecting tbh. They did tell me however that they're now running two groups simultaenously - one on the Wednesday and Thursday so that should speed things along.

Was curious if many of you ever roam around this website: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/

There seems to be a good handful of Irish people on here. I did find an Irish group on there but its been inactive since 2009. Nonetheless still a good few paddies. Would love to join in in any meet-ups or chat groups and stuff :pac:
Won't be able to do any meet-ups any time soon though since I've got my hands full atm.

Feel free to tell me more about the Mater - like the kind of cbt they try and the actiivities they do.

eskimo88

hi,
ive been feeling down alot lately and its gotten to the point where i dont want to socialise because i feel people will judge me negatively. ive always been abit self conscious but its affecting my everyday life now.id like to see a councellor about getting help but even the idea of that is scary.I guess i have to start somewhere though. Its nice to read that people have come through SA. Gives me hope

HUNK

Figured I'd link you all this http://www.youtube.com/user/SocialAnxietyDr

Basically he's a professional who is putting up videos weekly(ish) on ways to help you overcome SA. It generally follows a CBT format. The videos actually supplement his blog jus' so yas know :pac: http://socialanxietydr.wordpress.com/

Nodferatu

is depression and SA linked by any way does anyone know. it seems there is some link there. i mean i have had depression numerous times since i was about 16, im now 27. i have SA as long as i can remember back to when i was around 13 or 14 or so.

just started my first CBT session a week ago, due to go back again in a weeks time. im not depressed but i do get periods of sadness and get very lonely. feel very lonely in this world. i dont have friends and live at home with my parents. is anyone else here in same situation as me?

i looked on facebook recently old school class mates in my year, some i was friends with, some i wasnt. from primary school to secondary school, and i see some are in australia, some canada, some america, some other parts of the country/world, alot married, some kids, etc, it made me very depressed and angry and sad at my own life. i haven't lived, i haven't seen the world. i dont have any friends, i haven't anything to look forward to. no social life, im getting older and lonlier and still stuck. i feel like a complete failure but at same time im trying to be positive and do this self help and see this CBT doctor. its a struggle to stay on top, but it could be worse, at least i have a job and im not suffering depression.

Starfox

Nodferatu wrote: »

is depression and SA linked by any way does anyone know. it seems there is some link there. i mean i have had depression numerous times since i was about 16, im now 27. i have SA as long as i can remember back to when i was around 13 or 14 or so.

just started my first CBT session a week ago, due to go back again in a weeks time. im not depressed but i do get periods of sadness and get very lonely. feel very lonely in this world. i dont have friends and live at home with my parents. is anyone else here in same situation as me?

i looked on facebook recently old school class mates in my year, some i was friends with, some i wasnt. from primary school to secondary school, and i see some are in australia, some canada, some america, some other parts of the country/world, alot married, some kids, etc, it made me very depressed and angry and sad at my own life. i haven't lived, i haven't seen the world. i dont have any friends, i haven't anything to look forward to. no social life, im getting older and lonlier and still stuck. i feel like a complete failure but at same time im trying to be positive and do this self help and see this CBT doctor. its a struggle to stay on top, but it could be worse, at least i have a job and im not suffering depression.

Hi Nodferatu,

I dont think they are linked in a sense if you have SA, depression comes with it, but of course if you have SA you could easily get depressed and develop depression. Dont worry about what you might of and might not of achieved in the past, live your life in the NOW, nothing else matters, you dont have to worry about things in the future either, Be proud of the fact youve come this far and are willing to talk about it.

Stick CBT out, and get out as much as you can, do the thing that scares you the most, which is to socialize. If you read books i highly recommend 'The power of Now' by eckhart tolle, its not about SA but it shows you how to look at life differently and explains why our 'mind' can control you if you 'think' to much, its much deeper than that.

Slow down, get more sleep, do things in your life that make you more happy, and the people in your life where SA is least, socialize with them as much as you can, it helps more. SAers like to watch themselves as they act out their lives so much so that we almost create something to be scrutinized about, which has that irony to it :P

Stop thinking...

Nodferatu

@Starfox

yeah your right i ned to live in the now and not look to the past but i guess its difficult at times. once in a blue moon i get reminded by something that makes me look back at the past or when i was younger or whatever. i am lucky to have a job and my own car so at weekends i try go for a drive or something, just keep busy.
ill definitely look up that book. thanks.
i do tend to scrutinize myself a lot and am quite harsh and beat myself up about a lot of stuff but I'm trying to break the circle.
have you don't CBT?
anyway's this CBT doctor was telling me about this website which is quite good
(no need to sign up, or register its all free workbooks)

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

A Primal Nut

I was never diagnosed with Social Phobia but I'm sure I had some form of it when I was younger, from ages of about 13-22. I'm now 25 and can say I'm mostly over it, so it is definitely possible to overcome. I was lucky in that I always had some friends in school but when I moved to Dublin to go to college aged 18 was the first time I realised how bad my social disorder was.

I would sit in the college canteen not saying much and in general found it hard to make friends. I would force myself to go out at college events and stuff but it wasn't always fun. As for the opposite sex, I hadn't a clue. I took the time-honoured path of all-boys school to engineering course. Fortunately I got a part-time job in a supermarket and finally got to interact with girls. I made an effort from the beginning and there was one person in particular who seemed to want to be friends so it helped and was the first time in a long time I felt part of a group. But I still felt very shy around relatives, places with lots of people and girls I liked, Anywhere I felt like I had to make an impression was impossible for me. On the other hand, I could have out been with old friends and be the most talkative, funniest of the bunch. It was something I couldn't get my head around and I'm sure if one of my oldest friends had a conversation with a college mate for example, they would be shocked at the other's impressions of me.

It was also a little random; some people I had no problem interacting with; most people I was very easily intimidated. I knew some people made fun of me because I never talked. It was like my mind would stop me from thinking of conversation topics; so I would have to put extra effort into thinking of something to talk about.

I tried to surround myself just with those people I wasn't anxious around - hoping that I would forget what it felt like to be anxious.

I generally just forced myself to talk to girls, did some online dating etc. So I dated a couple of girls for the first time around the age of 22, but they seemed to lose interest. Anyway I finally got my first girlfriend earlier this year and I'm very happy. I don't want to focus on the opposite sex part of Social Anxiety, as its only aspect, but its the best example of how I can think I improved.

Travelling (went on my own in the beginning) was a good way to overcome it as well - gave me more confidence, plus a few stories to tell.

Has it ever being considered to have a meetup for people with Social Phobia/Disorder? Might be a good way for like-minded people to make friends and get more used to interacting in social situations without fear of being judged.

HUNK

Well meet-ups are difficult enough to organize for obvious reasons.

May as well throw this out there, but is there anyone here who suffers from SA and goes to UCD?

Angie06

Hi Everyone, I was just wondering does anyone know of any groups in Cork for Social Phobia?

Starfox

I am now nearly 3 months into my new job, which is a telesales executive for an expanding company, meaning im the only telesales person,.. and this is all new to this company so there is a spot light on me! Not only that,.. im in a small room, with my manager, and managing director, and just about everyone else that works for the company. Whats the worst thing about this? I alone am the only person constantly making calls,.. and for someone with SA this is a nightmare,... let me explain.

Imagine sitting at your desk, you look at the pen on the desk and you focus on it to try and take your focus off yourself, because that will also get your mind off you thinking that others in the room have all got their attention on you. Thats just one way i try mentally blocking out what i think is others focusing on me.


Your breathing gets heavy, or tight it becomes hard to breathe in fact which in some people leads to panic attacks. Your head becomes tense almost like there is outside pressure crushing it, and you get stiff and it feels like you’ve no neck, I grind down on my teeth but that’s just me and what I do when im stressed..



This can all depend on what mood your in, because ultimately the more confident you are the less SA there is, but I need to point out that its almost like I feel trapped inside this body of a nervous invader, always and I mean always when I experience SA I, the real me inside is sitting back watching how my mind is controlling me, and the real me is pretty pissed off! I know how completely irrational it is to ‘think’ like I do, I keep on using this example to myself to try and relate. Someone with OCD knows how irrational it is to keep switching on and off that light, or washing their hands… but they cant help it,.. well it’s the same with someone with SA but only in the form of me constantly thinking im being judged…


Im in the most scariest position I can imagine, from an SA point of view its your worst situation. My new Job is to make calls to companies to try and sell a product, I have to be uplifting, friendly, relaxed, and professional but how can I do that.. because the anticipation of making a call is so stressful, I keep irrationally thinking people are judging me, listening to my every word, so when I do make a call im a clumsy, nervous stumbling over my words, train wreck.And when stress gets to a certain level and constant, it can mess with your short term memory that accompanied by lack of sleep, and not through lack of trying..


For people with SA the higher the ranked person, the more authority the harder it is to relax and the more extreme the SA is!So the fact that all my bosses are in one room together focusing on me (or at least i think this) its my SA challenge of my life.



I am here nearly 3 months now, i spoke to my manager and explained how i find it hard to make calls because of people being in the room, ect ect basically telling him my symptoms without telling him i have SA, because at the end of the day if i say i have SA,.. doesnt something like that directly cause a problem for someone supposed to do my job! lol :rolleyes:


I ended up having a meeting with my manager and managing director because of the lack of calls i was making and told her the same situation,.. leading my manager to say its almost like a phobia,.. is it? and me saying yes, but again not directly saying i have SA


I have promised to make more calls,... and i suppose get sales seeing as its my job :P


But if at the end of these 3 months,.. i dont become permanent *because its not working out* at least im facing my fear...



Would you tell your boss in a situation like this that you have Social Anxiety or just do what i did?

Starfox

well i made it through these 3 months facing my fear...(- 1 week) but im out of a job now i wish i was not right about this one