Does it bother you if your fella cries?

Skipper1

Hey peeps,

My gorgeous fella is going through a rough time lately and he cried with me over the weekend. This does not bother me at all in the slighest and am actually delighted (not that he is upset of course) but because he is facing up to some stuff he needs to deal with and I'm so happy to be able to help him out and support him.

I was chatting to my sister about this who said she would die if her husband ever cried and that she wouldn't be able to handle it. I think this is pretty tough because her hubbie probably feels this from her and might hold back his feelings. Anyways, I'm just wondering does it bother any of you if your fella cries?

The Big Red Button

My fella is a typical man as regards showing emotion. He doesn't cry, ever, which I don't really think is healthy. The only time I've ever seen him come close was the day of his granny's funeral (they were very close), and that was after a few pints. He still didn't cry though, but he wasn't far off it.

It wouldn't bother me a bit if he cried. As long as he didn't make a habit of doing it all the time. Two of my exes were real macho men too, but they both cried when I broke up with them. It was really surreal, but it didn't make me think any less of them. I always feel so much better after a good cry!

Xiney

I think crying is just human.

Then again, it breaks my heart when I see my dad or my husband cry. Absolutely rips it straight out of my chest

jellie

I think id be more comfortable with a man crying than with a man never crying. as long as hes not sobbing his heart out at every available opportunity.

Edgedinblue

I wouldnt/dont mind it. everyone needs an aul cry every now and then!

tman

I shed a couple of manly tears while watching Marley and me, think that was the first time I'd ever cried in front of someone for over a decade... It didn't seem to bother the GF, and tbh the thought never even crossed my mind that it would. Can't believe there are women out there that have a problem with something like that!

IvyTheTerrible

Xiney wrote: »

I think crying is just human.

Then again, it breaks my heart when I see my dad or my husband cry. Absolutely rips it straight out of my chest

Yeah it's harder for me to see my brother or OH cry than my mum or sis. Don't know why, cos I feel bad for all of them!

My OH doesn't cry often but I have seen him cry twice and it didn't bother me, I totally understood why.

Keogg

yeah i've only seen my boyfriend cry two or three times, but it was always over serious stuff
it doesnt bother me, in fact i repesct him even more for being able to open up like that. Much healthier then being macho

Nervous Wreck

This is all awesome to hear. I never really cry around people but the oddddd time watching a sad play or whatever, I might let a tear slip. Nice to know the ladies don't seem to mind too much! Though I still don't think anyone's seen me do as such..... Awesomes.

waraf

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

YT

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

That made me have a little giggle!

It wouldn't bother me if my boyfriend cried, as long as he wasn't weeping all the time!

I agree with the other ladies about seeing their dad or uncles cry. My uncle sat next to me at our friends funeral and was crying. Broke my heart, I didn't know what to do.

Will

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

Thanks for permission to cry?

It's normal to cry, it's nothing to be ashamed of I think. In saying that I would be embarrassed to cry and usually do my best to disappear for a bit while I get it out of my system.

Guys don't like to appear vulnerable and I think when one cries you are at your most open, and I think this scares people. It does me.

Rocks aren't renowned for their intelligence by the way.

This

i met my bf the week before his father passed away and the first night we stayed together he had a little cry.... it wasnt an over the top blubber fest but it was nice, because he felt comfortable that early on. he has had a little cry every now and again since, because he is living in the house that he has lived in all his life with his father and his dad died in the house and they are now doing it up etc but nother majorly over the top.

at the end of the day, if a man cant cry infront of the women he loves who can he cry in front of?!! i also think women who wont watch a man cry have a screw loose...... its all human after all.

Abi

Nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Its a human thing, not just a woman thing.

tman wrote: »

I shed a couple of manly tears while watching Marley and me

I cried when Michael Owen went to the dark side :eek: :pac:

Ginny

Meh doesn't bother me in the slightest, women don't have the monopoly on getting upset, or having their heartstrings pulled, someone who never cried male or female would worry me though.

MagicMarker

I'm a dude, and I rendered my tear ducts useless over the last few episodes of six feet under.

Acacia

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

Assuming your post isn't a piss-take....


Not all men care about sports, y'know, especially not enough to cry about it. That doesn't make them 'metrosexual nancy boys' either. What bolloxology, seriously.

You can be a 'man' , and still cry occasionally, and also not not care about moisturisers. Can we let go of this ridiculous 1950's crap, already?

It's this kind of thinking that stops men talking about their feelings/emotions to a dangerous extent. The won't ask for help even trying to deal with stuff like depression /suicidal thoughts, because this macho man crap has been stuffed down their throats from a young age (more so in my dad's generation, I think.)

My OH doesn't cry, full stop. I've been with him for about three years and haven't seen him cry once. The closest he came was when we almost broke up. I think it's unhealthy, and it's probably 'cause he's been told the same sh1t throughout his life that's in waraf's post.

I would be comfortable with him crying, though, I just don't think he is.

Otis Driftwood

The most recent time I cried was at my cousins funeral at Christmas.I have no problem expressing emotions and if someone implied I was a bit of a jessie for shedding a tear on occasion then they would get a pretty short reception.

Its weird to see my Dad cry.Im 30 and I can only remember 3 occasions the last being my sisters wedding in October.He cried walking her down the aisle,and cried making his speech at the reception.That certainly plucked at the heart strings.I suppose its because she is the only daughter,the oldest child and they had a pretty rocky relationship for a number of years due to her escapades.He is the typical Irish male from a rural background,stiff upper lip and all that but he is human too.

The only time I ever cried in front of a significant other was when she dumped me.I was absolutely crushed but even then didnt turn into a gibbering mess,just a few tears.

Anyway,nothing wrong with it every now and again and I certainly wouldnt think any less of any bloke that cried.

all_smilz

i dont mind when a man cries, my dad was suicidal once and turned to me, we bawled together and he is still alive and well today and i have nothing but respect and admiration for him.

My bf has seen me cry practically every week since we've known eachother (over 5years!), i'd better point out that i'm just emotional and cry easily) and he's been my rock and anchor.

When said bf was very low he has cried in my arms and i have been glad to be there for him and help him get through it.

Its really sad the way that men think they cant cry if they really need to but if they were constantly crying it might be hard to deal with....

PLUS ONE on the sad issue of suicides in Ireland.... men and women are so vulnerable in all parts of irish society because of our negative attitudes to mental health and displaying of emotions.

waraf

Acacia wrote: »

Assuming your post isn't a piss-take....


Not all men care about sports, y'know, especially not enough to cry about it. That doesn't make them 'metrosexual nancy boys' either. What bolloxology, seriously.

Jaysus why so serious? Can't you spot a tongue-in-cheek post when you see one. Of course some men like sports and some don't, just like some men are prone to crying and some are not. If it works for you then that's grand.

Acacia

waraf wrote: »

Jaysus why so serious? Can't you spot a tongue-in-cheek post when you see one. Of course some men like sports and some don't, just like some men are prone to crying and some are not. If it works for you then that's grand.

Well, i wasn't sure if it was a piss-take or not, tbh. Some of the stuff posters come out with on here isn't too far off from your post, and they're actually serious.

SeekUp

Doesn't happen often. And when it has happened, the fact that he's crying doesn't bother me, it's more that the situation is distressing.

Never seen him tear up at a movie, though . . .

Skipper1

Acacia wrote: »

Well, i wasn't sure if it was a piss-take or not, tbh. Some of the stuff posters come out with on here isn't too far off from your post, and they're actually serious.

Yeah I think it's CRAZY that anyone would think it odd for a man to cry. I mean c'mon! We are all human. If someone never cries (male or female) there is something wrong. I think males have a hard enough time as it is, not to talk of going out with girls who never want their 'rock' to cry. Bull****.

Blazer

I find that as I get older I'm getting more emotional when watching dvds etc.
First time was Schlinders's List...held right up until the end when Liam Neeson breaks down in it...and the floodgates opened. Not blubbering now just tears down the face.
Was watching it with my hot flatmate but she was very impressed with me that I'd show my emotions in front of her..so impressed that she took me to bed

Fink Goddie

Abigayle wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Its a human thing, not just a woman thing.





I cried when Michael Owen went to the dark side :eek: :pac:

I hear ya homeslice. will never look at him the same again.

LivingDeadGirl

I think it's important for someone with whom you're supposed to be emotionally involved with to be able to, well, share their emotions with you, good or bad. I think it's quite bizarre when someone tells me they never cry, can't be good for you either, keeping everything inside. Still, I suppose everyone deals with things differently, but crying can be a wonderful release.

pikachucheeks

Doesn't bother me at all, I think it's amazing to be so comfortable with someone, that you can express any emotion in front of them.

I wouldn't think any less of a person, regardless of their sex, if they cried in front of me.

I like a man who's comfortable with his emotions and is able to express them. I remember a guy telling me he cried during a film he was recommending to me and it actually made me warm to him a lot.

Ollchailin

Sometimes I wish my boyfriend would open up and cry more, I know when things are getting him down and a good cry would do him the world of good- it's just awful seeing him depressed and not knowing what to do with it.

The last men I saw cry were my Dad, his brothers and my brother at my Grandmother's funeral earlier this year after she died suddenly. It broke my heart to see them like that. Seeing the strongest people in your life so emotionally shattered is the most awful feeling in the world.

Ah crap, I'm crying now after writing that

Darragh29

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

You left one out! I bawled my eyes out when my dog got hit by a car a little over a year ago... The vet wanted to put him down and he was lying on the path not knowing what was going on, (he's a big dog), and the vet reckoned he was fu*ked.

As it happened, he made a great recovery and is grand now, but for that evening, I was bawling non-stop, getting him up to the vets for surgery and then seeing him up there struggling to breath (he pierced a lung), did me the power of good but I remember people looking at me, I think they were getting upset because I was upset, seeing a grown man cry over his dog... I think it's allowed!

Darragh29

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

As for pussies crying at football matches, forget it!

Otis Driftwood

Darragh29 wrote: »

As for pussies crying at football matches, forget it!

Emmm,I think you will find that was rugby.

And giving the Historical aspect of having an English team represented in Croker for the first time it was more than understandable and acceptable.

Stench Blossoms

I went out with a guy for about 3 years. He always cried when we had a fight. It was emotional blackmail.

Since then I can't deal with people crying (girls or boys). I have to walk away.

pikachucheeks

Darragh29 wrote: »

You left one out! I bawled my eyes out when my dog got hit by a car a little over a year ago... The vet wanted to put him down and he was lying on the path not knowing what was going on, (he's a big dog), and the vet reckoned he was fu*ked.

What is it with men and their dogs?


I know a guy who's a total "hard" man, yet he's the soppiest thing ever when it comes to his pets! Has tons of photos of them on his Facebook!

It's refreshing to know he does have a softer side though.

random.stranger

waraf wrote: »

As a bloke I can confirm that it's only ok for blokes to cry in certain situations

1. at major sporting events (e.g. Ireland v England in Croker)

2. at the death of a family member (but not big blubbering girly boy sobbing. A quiet tear is all that is required).

3. after suffering a VERY major injury. Crying due to anything less than loss of a limb is unacceptable.

Too many nancy boy metrosexuals around these days talking about moisturiser and emotions. Some of you ladies may like that sort of thing (each to their own and all that) but most girls I know want a man to be a man and as such want him to be in control in stressful situations. I'm sure you've heard some blokes described as "a rock" by their wives/girlfriends before. Rocks don't cry.

No mention of the crying game?

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

Emmm,I think you will find that was rugby.

And giving the Historical aspect of having an English team represented in Croker for the first time it was more than understandable and acceptable.

Any man crying at a football or rugby match in my opinion is gay. Nothing wrong with being gay by the way!

pikachucheeks wrote: »

What is it with men and their dogs?

I know a guy who's a total "hard" man, yet he's the soppiest thing ever when it comes to his pets! Has tons of photos of them on his Facebook!

It's refreshing to know he does have a softer side though.

Well I don't have pics everywhere of my dog but seeing your old companion going to be put down and having to convince the vet to see if there is something that can be done for him I think is sure to drag a tear out of the hardest guy!

pikachucheeks

Darragh29 wrote: »

Any man crying at a football or rugby match in my opinion is gay.

I don't agree.
I think it shows a great sense of passion.

Expressing raw emotion over something you feel strongly for is nothing to be ashamed of.

Bloody Nipples

The lack of participation of males in weeping is hormonal not (totally ) as a result of some kind of manly covenant, where we've taken a blood oath to face adversity with a stiff upper lip and out-thrust chest.

When male humans hit puberty, testosterone levels in the body increase while levels of prolactin ( a "stress" protein) decrease. This results in decreased episodes of crying. Male and female children will cry and whinge roughly the same amount but puberty hits and boom. Occasions of crying among male children drop away.

As a guy, I haven't cried in years. I don't worry about it. When things get stressful, I (and most other men) don't have to manfully blink away tears. They're just not there.

Otis Driftwood

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I don't agree.
I think it shows a great sense of passion.

Expressing raw emotion over something you feel strongely for is nothing to be ashamed of.

+1

When United won the CL in 08 there was a group of approx 300 drunken and bleary eyed blokes in Sinnotts,myself included.Try telling them they are gay for being passionate about a team they have supported since they were kids.

Malari

orla wrote: »

I went out with a guy for about 3 years. He always cried when we had a fight. It was emotional blackmail.

Since then I can't deal with people crying (girls or boys). I have to walk away.

Know what you mean. I knew a guy like this too, who used it as emotional blackmail. I wouldn't be the best at comforting anyway, but after the 2nd time the tears arrived I just walked away. Get a grip please.

Saw my dad cry twice, my boyfriend once. Justifiable reasons. My mother I've never seen cry, incidentally. I don't cry much, so I must get it from her.

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

+1

When United won the CL in 08 there was a group of approx 300 drunken and bleary eyed blokes in Sinnotts,myself included.Try telling them they are gay for being passionate about a team they have supported since they were kids.

I can't identify with this at all I'm afraid. Firstly to me football is a sport, in the case of Manchester United, it's more of a cult! I wouldn't get sucked into a cult in the first place and I wouldn't be so passionate about a cult, that would cause me to be upset about it. I can't understand how any person, man or woman can get so absorbed in a football team. It's a business, just like your local pub, they sell pints and spirits for a profit, a football team charges you to go and see the game and then thay pay players like £100,000 a week to play for them! What on earth is there to be upset about there?!?

fippy

crying like russel crowe - yes
crying like christiano ronaldo - NO!!!

Otis Driftwood

Darragh29 wrote: »

I can't identify with this at all I'm afraid. Firstly to me football is a sport, in the case of Manchester United, it's more of a cult! I wouldn't get sucked into a cult in the first place and I wouldn't be so passionate about a cult, that would cause me to be upset about it. I can't understand how any person, man or woman can get so absorbed in a football team. It's a business, just like your local pub, they sell pints and spirits for a profit, a football team charges you to go and see the game and then thay pay players like £100,000 a week to play for them! What on earth is there to be upset about there?!?

If you arent a sports fan then you couldnt possibly fathom what Im talking about.

You dont understand it so that makes it gay.

I dont understand quantum physics,does that make science gay?

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

If you arent a sports fan then you couldnt possibly fathom what Im talking about.

You dont understand it so that makes it gay.

I dont understand quantum physics,does that make science gay?

When did you last see someome crying because they couldn't get their head around quantum physics?!?!?!?

I've loads of mates who are sports fans but they don't start crying when Manchester United or Liverpool loose a game! It's nothing less than over dramatic and completely rediculous to see grown men sobbing at the likes of Ronaldo, Beckham or some other insanely overpaid wahnker putting on a show...

amacachi

Darragh29 wrote: »

When did you last see someome crying because they couldn't get their head around quantum physics?!?!?!?

At about 12.45 on the 15th of June. Some people get very upset about the Leaving Cert.

pikachucheeks

Darragh29 wrote: »

I've loads of mates who are sports fans but they don't start crying when Manchester United or Liverpool loose a game! It's nothing less than over dramatic and completely rediculous to see grown men sobbing at the likes of Ronaldo, Beckham or some other insanely overpaid wahnker putting on a show...

I think it's more about expressing their devotion and passion for the game itself, rather than the actual players.

I'm not a football fan, I think the sport is becoming increasing more about money and finances these days which saddens me, but I can respect that a lot of people have been fans of certain teams since they were small. I admire their love of the game, their love of their team and their loyalty to that team.

I think it's very attractive, when a person is passionate about something!

Darragh29

amacachi wrote: »

At about 12.45 on the 15th of June. Some people get very upset about the Leaving Cert.

Well at least someone getting upset in that situation is upset about something that is possibly worth getting upset about in the first place, maybe in terms of it having an impact on their future, etc.

pikachucheeks wrote: »

I think it's more about expressing their devotion and passion for the game itself, rather than the actual players.

I'm not a football fan, I think the sport is becoming increasing more about money and finances these days which saddens me, but I can respect that a lot of people have been fans of certain teams since they were small. I admire their love of the game, their love of their team and their loyalty to that team.

I think it's very attractive, when a person is passionate about something!

Maybe I'm rushing to judge people but to me, if you are crying over a football game, for whatever reason, there is something seriously wrong with you! I'm sure equally someone would say if you are crying over a dog, there is something wrong with you as well, which is fine with me!

I can go out and watch a match, I can go to a Dublin game and be very happy when they win or disappointed when they lose, I can watch Milan or Manchester United and enjoy the game, but I wouldn't dream of being upset at a result of any game. I reserve my unbridled passion for things that affect my life, and nothing else. It doesn't get wasted on the likes of Ronaldo!

discostick12

Wouldn't bother me at all if my bloke cried infront of my.
Sometimes I think theres something wrong with him if something bad happens and he doesn't show any emotion, but then I remember he's a man and move on!
Wish I had that much will power:D

Otis Driftwood

Its not about crying at every single sporting instance,when it happens,its generally because something momentous has occured ie,the team Ive supported for the last 25 years winning the Champions League,an English team being represented for the first time ever in the spiritual home of our national sport,and the Irish players being a part of that.

These are things that rarely occur and some sports fans will never get the opportunity to experience them.

You ask some Liverpool fans,what would it be like to win the premiership after such a gap(20 years or so)and maybe pip Man United to the title.You can be garunteed that alot of them would shed a tear of joy.

If you arent passionate about any team or sport then I dont expect you to get it,but I also would not expect to be insulted either.

Darragh29

nedtheshed wrote: »

Its not about crying at every single sporting instance,when it happens,its generally because something momentous has occured ie,the team Ive supported for the last 25 years winning the Champions League,an English team being represented for the first time ever in the spiritual home of our national sport,and the Irish players being a part of that.

These are things that rarely occur and some sports fans will never get the opportunity to experience them.

You ask some Liverpool fans,what would it be like to win the premiership after such a gap(20 years or so)and maybe pip Man United to the title.You can be garunteed that alot of them would shed a tear of joy.

If you arent passionate about any team or sport then I dont expect you to get it,but I also would not expect to be insulted either.

I've mates who are very passionate about football, but if one of them started crying at the end of a match, they'd be taken out of the pub and put in a taxi home!

Oh The Humanity

It would bother me yeh!

I dont cry myself, I dont understand people crying!
Pull yerself together n'all !

Seeing a man cry = not good.

Nevyn

It depnds on the context.
Crying can be very good for a person when they are under stress or upset but crying at a drop of a hat or for what seems minor things would mean to me that there is something wrong with a person.