any decent sick excuses?!!

moretothegirl

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

DubMedic

moretothegirl wrote: »

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

You have swine influenza, naturally.

.

Shryke

Emergency foot transplant.

Gummy Panda

Skin failure

4zn76tysfajdxp

For two weeks? Are you good at pretending to have a terminal illness?

Queen-Mise

for two weeks it will have a doctors cert.

How come you dont get holidays.

Family crisis is a good one but you cant do that now since you kinda booked hols.

Professey Chin

Zombies ate my brain

nayorleck114

Yes, Make sure you are SICK!. otherwise you risk getting fired.

jumpguy

Sex change op. Hehe, that'd give em a fright.

Gummy Panda

work related stress

Zillah

You're going to be fired, because there's no way they'll accept any excuse without a cert after two weeks.

You also apparently already asked them for the time off. This is a total failure of an enterprise.

You may as well just make something up. Tell them you have Whooping Bladder Syndrome, or Fuzzle Nose-Pot Fever.

seanybiker

Gummy Panda wrote: »

work related stress

Good thinking.

Gummy Panda

Zillah wrote: »

You're going to be fired, because there's no way they'll accept any excuse without a cert after two weeks.

Certs mean nothing tbh. So easy to get a cert from a doctor for €20.

OP, its the company doctor you should fear.

enda1

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Certs mean nothing tbh. So easy to get a cert from a doctor for €20.

OP, its the company doctor you should fear.

? Certs do mean something - they are legally binding and the company doctor can not be enforced on you.

mink_man

What sort of sick are we talkin about? Sick as in puking or sick as in I like 5 year old boys, cos theres no excuse for that!

waraf

Coming back to work with a tan might be a tad suspicious too

Gummy Panda

enda1 wrote: »

? Certs do mean something - they are legally binding and the company doctor can not be enforced on you.

I meant in that it would be hard to get one. Doctors seem very at ease handing them out.. well my doctor defo does. I was kinda shocked.

dotsman

moretothegirl wrote: »

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

Enjoy the dole queue.

K4t

Just say 'women's issues'. You'll get three weeks if you're a man.

Saibh

moretothegirl wrote: »

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

If you think you are going to get fired, I wouldn't worry too much about any excuses.

markok84

waraf wrote: »

Coming back to work with a tan might be a tad suspicious too

Jaundice? the tan would seal the deal!

My name is URL

I raped your dog and got some canine STD

Thats pretty sick

Super-Rush

Enjoy the holiday because it will probably be your last for a while.

In All Fairness

moretothegirl wrote: »

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

Depends on your situation OP. If you are in permanent employment and don't mind your employer hating you forever then it's just a matter of getting a cert. If however you are trying to convince your boss that you actually are sick I'd say that horse bolted when you asked for the time off and were refused. The only thing I could suggest is getting a friend to cause an accident in work in which you get burnt or sprain an ankle. Fall over carelessly left out mop bucket or some such.Once you assure them it was only an accident and you don't intend to take legal action they're unlikely to quibble over your recovery time....but I'd recommend just cancelling the holiday or leaving the job.

c4cat

moretothegirl wrote: »

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

Tell em yr sick of work and need 2 weeks to recover

Wertz

"Not allowed take hols from work"

Why? It's one of your basic rights as an employee, unless you're in some sort of contract type thing I'm not aware of...

BSing them you're sick for a fortnight is just gonna get you the can...go and demand the time off for family reasons or just tell them you need to get the hell out of the country for a bit.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/employment-rights-and-conditions/leave-and-holidays

thebman

Yeah lol forget the holiday. Cancel it and accept the penalties of doing that. Your going to lose a lot more if you lose your job.

WIZE

I know a guy that used depression to as an excuse to get off work for 3 weeks.

Look up what it consists of then go to the doctor and he will give you a Sick cert

Gummy Panda

Burn your job down?

Rented Mule

Call in dead.

dotsman

Wertz wrote: »

"Not allowed take hols from work"

Why? It's one of your basic rights as an employee, unless you're in some sort of contract type thing I'm not aware of...

BSing them you're sick for a fortnight is just gonna get you the can...go and demand the time off for family reasons or just tell them you need to get the hell out of the country for a bit.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/employment-rights-and-conditions/leave-and-holidays

It's one of your basic rights to get annual leave. It's not one of your basic rights that you can take annual leave whenever you feel like it. In most jobs, it is at the discretion of your manager as to when you take it (ie the manager needs to make sure that there are enough people around to staff the office/shop/factory/whatever at any given time).

Aidric

Gummy Panda wrote: »

work related stress

This is probably your best bet.

Wertz

dotsman wrote: »

It's one of your basic rights to get annual leave. It's not one of your basic rights that you can take annual leave whenever you feel like it. In most jobs, it is at the discretion of your manager as to when you take it (ie the manager needs to make sure that there are enough people around to staff the office/shop/factory/whatever at any given time).

You're right, I didn't consider someone who works in a place where this is their busiest time of year or everyone going on holidays during the summer would jeopardise staff levels.

Sucks for you OP.
I'd go with some sort of terrible back complaint...difficult to diagnose back pain or disprove it. The tan is still gonna get you fired though...

thebman

Your only other option would be to talk to your manager and say you already had it booked, tried to cancel but couldn't and would it be alright to get the leave as an exception.

Unless he/she is a real arse, they'll make the exception with a bit of a bollocking most likely in front of everyone else so they don't seem like a soft touch.

pirelli

Your ****ed !

Best thing is to come clean and explain how you might have booked the holiday depsite not haveing time off.

or cancel it and take the deposit on the chin.

Or get a union representative to smooth things out.

DO not try pull a sickie as you will not win, and they will sack you for gross dishonesty.

Venom

Gummy Panda wrote: »

I meant in that it would be hard to get one. Doctors seem very at ease handing them out.. well my doctor defo does. I was kinda shocked.

I always claimed to have a tight chest and felt tired all the time = chest infection cert from 90% of the doctors Iv gone to

RxQueen

should of booking one week, would've been easier to swing that

op just 'fess up!!

Fizman

Out of interest, where are you going OP?

Oh, and also out of interest...where do you work?
It's just that i'd like to give some friends or relatives who are out of work a heads up on a vacancy.

partyatmygaff

I'd say doing this for a few hours straight would be a decent excuse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0JD8pOgD1s

AlmightyCushion

Just tell them you've suddenly become fatally alergic to doors and so you're unable to leave your house. Doctor said it should go away in a week or two.

mickdw

If you do this, dont go sticking info up on your facebook etc.... That would be triple stupid

tech77

Ultimate Chin wrote: »

Zombies ate my brain

Right, but any good excuses for the OP.

tech77

Rented Mule wrote: »

Call in dead.

That never works.

Tomebagel

tech77 wrote: »

That never works.

obviously havent tried it:rolleyes:

CreepingDeath

moretothegirl wrote: »

ok so long story short: not allowed take hols from work but i booked one anyway for 2 weeks which means im likely to be fired!! any excuses you can come up with to call in sick that might be believable???!!!

Tell them you have a prolapsed vagina.

siobhan.murphy

2nd last day of work u could complain of bad pains and back pain go to doctor get a cert say it cud be stress from work

punchdrunk

Your brother in Ibiza needs an urgent kidney transplant...sorted!

CutzEr

'My dog ate my home-work-place

consultech

"I lost my arms in 'nam". That's the only thing for it!

enniscorthy

oh hey listen mate say u got dodgy chinese,ur dyin sick on the toilet every night of the week u havnt got a clue whats up with u and u think its contageous all the family on the bog 24/7 heheheheheheahahahhahahaha nice 1

Shanotheslayer

Sinus Infection. Works a charm