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Jokes not everyone will get

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#182 09-07-2009 7:17pm
Eglinton

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If you tell a Zimbabwean woman she look's like a million dollars, is it an insult?

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#183 09-07-2009 7:54pm
pwd

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this:
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055555858

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#184 10-07-2009 8:59am
stereo_steve

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Trying to brew coffee with a teapot should result in the error code 418, I'm a teapot!

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#185 10-07-2009 10:18am
Pal

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Broad wrote: »

Doing well understanding them up to now but please explain this one!

comfy in Scottish accent is 'come from ?'

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#186 10-07-2009 11:41am
bacon?

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why's uhura's skin brown? william shatner

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#187 10-07-2009 1:04pm
bacon?

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a horse, chicken, rabbi and a priest walk into a bar.

barman says, is this some sort of joke?

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#188 10-07-2009 8:18pm
Penn

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Barney Vs The Ting Tings

They call me John
They call me Jacob
They call me Jingleheimer
They call me Schmidt
That is my name. That is his name. That is my name. This is his... name.

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#189 10-07-2009 9:47pm
Fighting Irish

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<snip. Not around here please - Hagar <snip>

__________

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#190 10-07-2009 9:59pm
Fighting Irish

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Fighting Irish wrote: »

<snip. Not around here please - Hagar <snip>

__________

now ye're talkin'

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#191 10-07-2009 11:46pm
kumate_champ07

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did someone delete my joke?

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#192 11-07-2009 12:11am
Hagar

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Yes, last May, Have you got narcolepsy or some other mitigating medical condition?

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#193 11-07-2009 12:14am
Slidey

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I hav zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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#194 11-07-2009 12:26am
kumate_champ07

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Hagar wrote: »

Yes, last May, Have you got narcolepsy or some other mitigating medical condition?

i do actually.

heres the joke again:

why could the black cow with the stammer never get the other cows to move?

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#195 11-07-2009 12:34am
Hagar

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That is not the joke that was snipped as far as I can see. You had two jokes snipped, both way over the line. If you post them again or anything like them I will ban you and your children and your childrens's children.

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#196 11-07-2009 2:05am
kumate_champ07

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Hagar wrote: »

That is not the joke that was snipped as far as I can see. You had two jokes snipped, both way over the line. If you post them again or anything like them I will ban you and your children and your childrens's children.

i cant remember anything else i posted that was way over the line.

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#197 11-07-2009 8:44am
SilverFox261

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Some of these are brilliant. Thanks for the laugh's guys!

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#198 14-07-2009 8:16am
Mahatma coat

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Whats Brown and rhymes with Snoop???

Dr Dre
:D:D

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#199 14-07-2009 10:39pm
eamonnf

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I just read that the word gullible has been removed from the dictionary!

Three ducks flying over Belfast. The first duck goes 'quack', the second duck goes 'quack' and the third duck says 'Im going as quack as I can'.

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#200 20-07-2009 7:16pm
boneless

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Two nuns in the bath. One says to the other 'where's the soap?'. The other replies 'Yeah, it does a bit!'

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#201 20-07-2009 7:34pm
zuroph

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thats already in the thread?

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#202 21-07-2009 7:14pm
boneless

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zuroph wrote: »

thats already in the thread?

sorry.... I'm old and forget things...:)

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#203 21-07-2009 9:46pm
Bearhunter

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boneless wrote: »

sorry.... I'm old and forget things...:)

WHat's the three best things about Alzheimer's?

1. You meet new people every day.
2. You get to hide your own Easter eggs.
3. You meet new people every day.

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#204 21-07-2009 9:50pm
Slidey

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Bishop Casey walks into a bar, 'Pint of Guinness please'

Barman informs him that all the Guinness has ran out..

'Alright' Says Casey, 'You got any Murphies?'

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#205 21-07-2009 10:00pm
Cicero

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Two cows in a field.

One turns to the other and says:

What do you think of this mad cow disease anyway?

Other cow replies:

It doesn't bother me at all ... sure I'm a horse!

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#206 21-07-2009 10:21pm
Cicero

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I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did.
Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape
of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included.....so I had to buy them again.

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

-- all the above by Steven Wright

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#207 21-08-2009 9:23am
Sam Vimes

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http://xkcd.com/626/

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#208 21-08-2009 3:12pm
Airbag01

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This is not really a joke but a way of running a commonly told joke.

Your Mate: Knock Knock

You: Come in.

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#209 22-08-2009 2:21pm
youtheman

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Slidey wrote: »

Bishop Casey walks into a bar, 'Pint of Guinness please'

Barman informs him that all the Guinness has ran out..

'Alright' Says Casey, 'You got any Murphies?'

Man walks into the cathedral in Galway (1990s, just to set the scene).
Fellow collecting money. "What's the collection for ?". "SHARE" came the reply. "Jaysus, did he f**k her as well".

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#210 22-08-2009 2:32pm
blankblank

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Deleted User wrote: »

I'm so cultured, I make yoghurt jealous

quality:):)

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#211 22-08-2009 2:39pm
eviltimeban

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Why did the wildebeest stop using Unix?

Nobody Gnu.

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