Jokes not everyone will get

Slidey

What about Hosanna in the Hiace?

Iron Hide

Slidey wrote: »

What about Hosanna in the Hiace?

First sign of pikeys in the bible.

joseph brand

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange?

A banana. Because biscuits don't have windows.


Old one.

Hagar

What's the difference between a duck?
One of it's legs are both the same.

Capt'n Midnight

danniemcq

Capt'n Midnight have you ever posted in a thread without putting a motivational poster in there somewhere?

Not a complaint they are (mostly) brilliant!

Capt'n Midnight

Iron Hide

A streaker runs past two nuns.

One had a stroke.

The other was too slow

Lord Derpington

FruitLover wrote: »

Surely this should be while(0)?

Edit: or maybe there could be a ! before the methods calls...

It doesnt matter what value is given to the condition, 1 is always going to be one, 0 would always be 0, its the same as saying while(true)
Its an infinite loop either way cos the value wont change

Time Magazine

greenfly wrote: »

It doesnt matter what value is given to the condition, 1 is always going to be one, 0 would always be 0, its the same as saying while(true)
Its an infinite loop either way cos the value wont change

You're never going to get that joke.

Federal

"Here comes José now, wait, where's Hose B?"

mirwillbeback

Fella goes to Dr suffering with premature ejaculation.

Dr says, " Oh, that's a c*nt "

Fella goes " aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Penn

I found a note on the ground telling me to buy a new pair of boots, but I'd spent all my money. So I used my time machine to go back in time and buy a pair of Doc Marten's. Then I saw myself walking down the road, so I quickly left myself a note telling me to buy some boots. Talk about a Predestination pair o' Docs.

dilallio

Why does a mouse when he spins?
Because the more he goes round the much.

FruitLover

greenfly wrote: »

It doesnt matter what value is given to the condition, 1 is always going to be one, 0 would always be 0, its the same as saying while(true)
Its an infinite loop either way cos the value wont change

a) If the value in the condition is 0, this is the same as false, and the loop won't execute at all

b) The joke appears to have completely gone over your head

boneless

Two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. One says to the other, 'Do you come this way often sister?'

Michellenman

Took me an embarrassingly long time to get that

Very good.

Angus MacGyver

Two birds sitting on a perch, one turns to the other and says

"can you smell fish"

candlegrease

A bunch of scientists and engineers were rather drunk, and when one decided to yell out his favorite equation, "E = MC^2," others started to follow suit.
"F = ma"
"a^2 + b^2 = c^2"
but when one engineer yelled out "F = c*(d/dt)(x1 - x0)" the crowd groaned and the yelling stopped. He later apologized to his friend, "Sorry I didn't mean to put a damper on things..."

Don't get it. Can somebody please clarify?

Capt'n Midnight

what's the difference between a chorus girl by day and by night?
by day she is fair and buxom,

WindSock

How many ears does Dr Spock have?




3.




A left ear.....



A right ear.....














And a Final Frontier!

Mahatma coat

didnt Davey Crocket have a Wild Front Ear?

Capt'n Midnight

An old lady goes into her local grocer and asks for half a pound of tuppenny rice and half a pound of treacle. She starts to count out and hand over the money.
A weasel noticed what was happening and ran out of the shop screaming.

Capt'n Midnight

'what did batman say to robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car!!'

Capt'n Midnight

An ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands and a flake.

Police say that he topped himself.





What's the difference between a man and a chimpanzee?
One is hairy, smelly, and is always scratching its arse and the other's a chimpanzee.

Capt'n Midnight

What colour opens cars?
Khaki.


How do you get two whales in a mini?
Over the Severn Bridge.




A team of cats named One, Two and Three start swimming the channel from the English side

A team of cats named Un, Deux and Trois starts swimming the channel from the French side

Which team of cats gets to the other side first?


One, Two and Three;
because
Un, Deux, Trois quatre cinq

Capt'n Midnight

Knock knock
who's there?
me, I kill you

achmad the terrorist, what a ledgend

pug_

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? They're both purple except for the elephant.

Capt'n Midnight

A duck stood waiting to cross the road. A chicken came up to him and said, "Don't bother, mate. You'll never hear the end of it."




Two inmates are waiting to go up before the parole board. The first inmate says to the second that he doesn't think he has much chance of getting out.

The second inmate says, 'There's a sure-fire way for a good-looking bloke like you to make parole - proposition the chief warden's wife. You'll be out straightaway.'

'Don't be ridiculous,' says the first inmate. 'Everyone knows you can't end a sentence with a proposition.'





My next door neighbour worships exhausts pipes! He's a Catholic Converter!



How do you confuse an idiot?
Sausages


How do you keep an idiot in suspense.....?

ChocolateSauce

If you don't find this genius you don't get it. :pac: