Bulmers pear (best laxative known to man?)

pikachucheeks

laugh wrote: »

There was an ad there for Bulmers Pear "New Recipe", they must have gotten some shitty feedback about the original one.

Nice pun

I'm delighted this thread is back! Possibly one of the best laughs I've had on Boards was reading this...

bronte

I was in asda earlier. Saw 8 bottles of bulmers pear for 6 quid. Tempting, but I have a flight tomorrow. :eek:

stevermick2003

I've been a Guinness / Heineken drinker for some time now, and experienced the black death that comes after a feed of Guinness, but Bulmers Pear just falls out of you with little or no warning!!!!! The bad thing is it's lovely and minimum hangover but it's not worth the hassle

Aidric

stevermick2003 wrote: »

but Bulmers Pear just falls out of you with little or no warning!!!!!

So you crapped yourself?

stevermick2003

Aidric wrote: »

So you crapped yourself?

just about!! and in the middle of the bernard dunne fight!:D

super_furry

Still not going near that liquid arse-dynamite - new recipe or not.

Andy(mike)Lowry

pikachucheeks wrote: »

Nice pun

I'm delighted this thread is back! Possibly one of the best laughs I've had on Boards was reading this...

Ahh i think i gotta take the gamble and try the ''new recipe'' pear.
It just tasted that good before. but only in the summer or if im abroad.

ps. im also lovin the fact this thread is back. funniest read ive had in a long time!

Aglomerado

I'm looking forward to trying it too, have to say the old recipe never affected me in the way described.

(Love this thread too, especially post 228!!!!):D

cosmic

Has anyone tried the new recipe yet? Was there any anal leakage?

ToxicPaddy

Started reading this thread when it first started but couldnt get through it all, just did now and the tears are streaming down my face from laughing..

Absolutely classic..

Wossack

reckon the new recipe is just a few crushed immodiums mixed into it

pikachucheeks

I was bought two bottles of it last night.
I was terrifed going home, because of the nightmarish feedback on this thread!
Thankfully, I was fine ... but I'm still wary of the stuff and if I do have it again, it'll be in moderation!

Banter Joe

New Recipe. Now with no added pears.

I laughed when I saw the new ad on tv the last night. I thought to myself, "That's Boards' fault!"

FlutterinBantam

Took on about 6 or 7 bottles at the weekend and have to say ,apart from a little reluctance to fully break wind,I had no major problems.

Tastes a little more synthetic than the previous ,and have to say after 6 or 7 bottles of that product, I would be seasoning the pot big time and absolutely no way would I risk a "corker" on the way home.

Time will tell I guess.

Johnny Utah

Don't knock it til you've tried it. Some people would pay good money to get rid of a blockage. Bulmers, if you're reading this, please bring back the old stuff- there's certainly a market for it out there!

Jimmyboss

There was an element of thrillseeking with the old recipe, slowly sipping the 4th bottle.....all the fun's gone out of it now.........

TheZohanS

Jimmyboss wrote: »

There was an element of thrillseeking with the old recipe, slowly sipping the 4th bottle.....all the fun's gone out of it now.........

True, the new tv ad is very tongue in cheek.

dsmythy

Alright i might consider drinking it again. After you all go first and give us feedback

s14driftking

any feed back on the new stuff yet had a feed of it a while back lovely taste off it and goes down easy but god i was like a bleeding slurry spreder after it blamed on the food and the next weekend had another session of it and same thing again rined my nite had to come home early:mad:

barakus

Jimmyboss wrote: »

There was an element of thrillseeking with the old recipe, slowly sipping the 4th bottle.....all the fun's gone out of it now.........

Yeah it was a white knuckle ride alright after the third one!

Being aware of its laxative qualities seemed to loosen up the bowels even more in anticipation, kind of like the nervous ****e you would take before an exam or driving test:D

chem

Ok, did a search for the previous threads on this 'refreshing beverage', but couldn't find it, so I'll kick it off again. First of all, ignore EVERYTHING I said about this drink being grand, nice stuff on a summers day, no problems with the 'rear exit' situation, blah, blah, blah - I'VE CHANGED ME MIND!!!

At a mates 40th last night with missus, and as the mood hit me, decided to forego me usual pint of the black stuff for a pint bottle of this. Lovely evening, good old craic, no worries. Second pint down, again, sure still early in the night, craic is building, nice refreshing pint and lovely weather, sure what could go wrong? Third pint, and this is where it changes. About half way through, me feels an urge to go release a load. Fuk me, that was a bit sudden, and me is always cleared out before going on the lash, what's going on here? So I says to da missus, somethings up in de aul bowel region, me gonna have to go hit the bog for a dump. Charmed by the candor that only 7 years together can create, she just rolls her eyes and says ya better get a move on then! So off me trot to the bog, grand as, just a wee bit of pressure from the Allwee cave, find a nice clean cubicle and check for bog roll - here we go, I'll be out in a few minutes, back for another pint.

Well fuk me sideways, Niagara Falls didn't have nothing on the flood that came barelling outta me hole. Mother of Jehovah, where in the name of **** did that come from? 'Twas like shooting a water cannon of ****e at crusties at a G8 summit, unreal! Worst thing was, it was a fukin 80's theme night, and I was doing the whole Miami Vice thing with WHITE ****ING TROUSERS on!! One drop of splashback from that torrent of slurry, and my night was fukin over! Oh the sheer fukin panic, the terror, the mortification that gripped me soul!

So it finally stops, and I'm fukin bent over too afraid to look down to see the damage. Thanks be to Ezekial, me Don Johnson look was still intact, but da fukin smell nearly knocked me back into da bowl. A quick first flush to try and clear the 'bulk' of it, before embarking on the clean up operation that would put the Exxon Valdez to shame. 3 flushes and about 10 minutes later, I was done, evidence gone and colour returned to cheeks. Left cubicle like I was the owner of the gaff, washed the old laimh and back to the table again like I had just come back from having a smoke.

But as me sat down and the bowels gave me another wee rumble, dere was only one thing I could say: Julie, we're going home!

Bulmers Pear, it's pure evil, DON'T DO IT!!!! Or at least if you fukin insist on it, make sure you're close to the throan and for the love of God, DO NOT WEAR WHITE TROUSERS!!!!!

TheZohanS

chem wrote: »

Ok, did a search for the previous threads on this 'refreshing beverage', but couldn't find it, so I'll kick it off again. First of all, ignore EVERYTHING I said about this drink being grand, nice stuff on a summers day, no problems with the 'rear exit' situation, blah, blah, blah - I'VE CHANGED ME MIND!!!

At a mates 40th last night with missus, and as the mood hit me, decided to forego me usual pint of the black stuff for a pint bottle of this. Lovely evening, good old craic, no worries. Second pint down, again, sure still early in the night, craic is building, nice refreshing pint and lovely weather, sure what could go wrong? Third pint, and this is where it changes. About half way through, me feels an urge to go release a load. Fuk me, that was a bit sudden, and me is always cleared out before going on the lash, what's going on here? So I says to da missus, somethings up in de aul bowel region, me gonna have to go hit the bog for a dump. Charmed by the candor that only 7 years together can create, she just rolls her eyes and says ya better get a move on then! So off me trot to the bog, grand as, just a wee bit of pressure from the Allwee cave, find a nice clean cubicle and check for bog roll - here we go, I'll be out in a few minutes, back for another pint.

Well fuk me sideways, Niagara Falls didn't have nothing on the flood that came barelling outta me hole. Mother of Jehovah, where in the name of **** did that come from? 'Twas like shooting a water cannon of ****e at crusties at a G8 summit, unreal! Worst thing was, it was a fukin 80's theme night, and I was doing the whole Miami Vice thing with WHITE ****ING TROUSERS on!! One drop of splashback from that torrent of slurry, and my night was fukin over! Oh the sheer fukin panic, the terror, the mortification that gripped me soul!

So it finally stops, and I'm fukin bent over too afraid to look down to see the damage. Thanks be to Ezekial, me Don Johnson look was still intact, but da fukin smell nearly knocked me back into da bowl. A quick first flush to try and clear the 'bulk' of it, before embarking on the clean up operation that would put the Exxon Valdez to shame. 3 flushes and about 10 minutes later, I was done, evidence gone and colour returned to cheeks. Left cubicle like I was the owner of the gaff, washed the old laimh and back to the table again like I had just come back from having a smoke.

But as me sat down and the bowels gave me another wee rumble, dere was only one thing I could say: Julie, we're going home!

Bulmers Pear, it's pure evil, DON'T DO IT!!!! Or at least if you fukin insist on it, make sure you're close to the throan and for the love of God, DO NOT WEAR WHITE TROUSERS!!!!!

....that's what a post would look like if it was co-written by the Flutt and enniscorthy...

Well you can safely say this is an impossible task after a few pints of Pear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJ9fy1qSFI

Kirnsy

chem wrote: »

Ok, did a search for the previous threads on this 'refreshing beverage', but couldn't find it, so I'll kick it off again. First of all, ignore EVERYTHING I said about this drink being grand, nice stuff on a summers day, no problems with the 'rear exit' situation, blah, blah, blah - I'VE CHANGED ME MIND!!!

At a mates 40th last night with missus, and as the mood hit me, decided to forego me usual pint of the black stuff for a pint bottle of this. Lovely evening, good old craic, no worries. Second pint down, again, sure still early in the night, craic is building, nice refreshing pint and lovely weather, sure what could go wrong? Third pint, and this is where it changes. About half way through, me feels an urge to go release a load. Fuk me, that was a bit sudden, and me is always cleared out before going on the lash, what's going on here? So I says to da missus, somethings up in de aul bowel region, me gonna have to go hit the bog for a dump. Charmed by the candor that only 7 years together can create, she just rolls her eyes and says ya better get a move on then! So off me trot to the bog, grand as, just a wee bit of pressure from the Allwee cave, find a nice clean cubicle and check for bog roll - here we go, I'll be out in a few minutes, back for another pint.

Well fuk me sideways, Niagara Falls didn't have nothing on the flood that came barelling outta me hole. Mother of Jehovah, where in the name of **** did that come from? 'Twas like shooting a water cannon of ****e at crusties at a G8 summit, unreal! Worst thing was, it was a fukin 80's theme night, and I was doing the whole Miami Vice thing with WHITE ****ING TROUSERS on!! One drop of splashback from that torrent of slurry, and my night was fukin over! Oh the sheer fukin panic, the terror, the mortification that gripped me soul!

So it finally stops, and I'm fukin bent over too afraid to look down to see the damage. Thanks be to Ezekial, me Don Johnson look was still intact, but da fukin smell nearly knocked me back into da bowl. A quick first flush to try and clear the 'bulk' of it, before embarking on the clean up operation that would put the Exxon Valdez to shame. 3 flushes and about 10 minutes later, I was done, evidence gone and colour returned to cheeks. Left cubicle like I was the owner of the gaff, washed the old laimh and back to the table again like I had just come back from having a smoke.

But as me sat down and the bowels gave me another wee rumble, dere was only one thing I could say: Julie, we're going home!

Bulmers Pear, it's pure evil, DON'T DO IT!!!! Or at least if you fukin insist on it, make sure you're close to the throan and for the love of God, DO NOT WEAR WHITE TROUSERS!!!!!

a fabulous post that sums up the ethos of bulmers pear

Smau5

The drink.

Handsome Bob

Gotta say, I've had no unique adverse reactions to Bulmers Pear, it goes down as good as the apple cider if not better! Plus, my local off licence is selling six for the price of five, result! :cool: :pac:

antog86

I tried the New Recipe Bulmers Pear on Tuesday evening. I had 5/6 Pint Bottles and had no effects at all.

No bad reports from any of my friends either who had more than a few......very enjoyable.

Anyone else try the new recipe stuff? The posters are everywhere about it....

samhail

havnt even heard of it... the amount of bad press (27 pages here )

though its very sneaky... the first session is OK. it always hits on the 2nd session.
i think it like destroys your immune system in the first session

antog86

Some of my friends have had 3/4 sessions of the new recipe and have had no effects.....

Il keep you updated. WIll be having a few more over the weekend.....:D

Smau5

chem wrote: »

Well fuk me sideways, Niagara Falls didn't have nothing on the flood that came barelling outta me hole. Mother of Jehovah, where in the name of **** did that come from?

Lmfao, legend.