Wipe the seat or not

admiralofthefleet

The_Coon wrote: »

This one time, at a house-party, my mate pissed in the house owner's iron.
He wanted to get him back for pissing him off all night.

That would have been one hell of an interesting ironing session to watch.

thats like taking a shyte in the cistern or 'top decking' as its known

joes girls

ya wipe you always should wipe even if it looks clean......

dr.bollocko

Hey if it looks clean it's clean enough for me.
I'm disinclined to hover.

easyeason3

easyeason3 wrote: »

Also do guys stand directly over the bowl & scratch their balls so that their short & curlies fall everywhere?

Yes, although 'scratching' is completely the wrong terminology. It's much safer and more satisfying if you just rub the scrotal sac between thumb and forefinger, kinda like when you're trying to ask a deaf person for money.

@ OP: This happens to me all the time. What i usually do is wipe it, then let everyone know that i had to wipe the jacks before using it but that's the last time i'll be doing it. Any future seat-piss shall remain.

O'Coonassa

Deleted User wrote: »

more satisfying if you just rub the scrotal sac between thumb and forefinger, kinda like when you're trying to ask a deaf person for money.

Man you're going to get busted doing that to deaf people.

raunch

Reg'stoy wrote: »

OK so here's my problem. I was at a house party last weekend usual mix of people. Anyway was drinking bottles of beer, so naturally enough ended up needing the toilet and was shown to one by the house owner.

It was your run of the mill typical semi-D style down stairs toilet in the hall way. Step around the usual gathering in the hall and close the door behind me. Now like most fellas I like to pee standing up including the bloke who used the toilet before me. The ignorant f*** had just pissed all over the seat and left. I lifted the seat gingerly but it was one of those seats that won't stay up 'bollox'. So there I am holding the seat and the lad (it was now obvious that the yer man couldn't be bothered to hold the seat up). I finish up only to realise that the next person in might be waiting outside and they could be female (last thing I wanted to be known as by all the women there, was the bloke who pisses all over the seat).

Ended up wiping the seat clean of someone else's piss and yep every f***ing time I went for a slash some other prick has yes you guessed it, pissed all over the seat.

So my question to you the very knowledgeable after hours posters is, should I have wiped the seat or just said 'sod it' and hopefully not be known as the bloke who pissed all over the seat by all and sundry.

Nope "sod it"

Captain-America

Just take a dump in ths sink to distract attention away from the toilet with piss all over it.

robinph

Only go in after a wimins and she will have nicely cleaned the place up for you before hand.

Iang87

robinph wrote: »

Only go in after a wimins and she will have nicely cleaned the place up for you before hand.

always a risky play what if you go in and there's a strong smell and **** stains on the bowl, then you dont know what to do.

oh nothing stinks like a female poopy

stovelid

Nearly always piss sitting down, unless it's a urinal of course. Got into the habit when I lived in a ultra-'PC' commune in Germany years ago. Far better if you share the toilet with women. Standing up is always going to make the place smell a bit more because there's always some minute spray even if you aim well.

In a situation where some bonehead has pissed on the seat, I wipe and hover. I can't get my head around the fact that some twats can actually walk off and leave a toilet seat covered in piss. It beggars belief.

Tinchy

stovelid wrote: »

In a situation where some bonehead has pissed on the seat, I wipe and hover. I can't get my head around the fact that some twats can actually walk off and leave a toilet seat covered in piss. It beggars belief.

i know! was in college 2day, one of the girls in my class came out of the cubicle, i went in after and the seat was covered in pee!! :eek: i stood there in horror, it was too much to wipe, so i just left.
its the people who hover that make the mess imo.

hello_there_jim

i lick it!

cherryghost

dear god, i absolutely hate walking into a toilet to find piss all over the seat. i give it a good clean down, and inspect it again, i mean really, what if you needed to do a number 2? i bet theres people that sit down on the stuff.

Captain-America

hello_there_jim wrote: »

i lick it!

hello_there_jim everybody!


*claps*

FlutterinBantam

A good way of checking if you are drunk is to hit the can,drop the cacks and BACK towards the pot.

Bend forward slowly and point the bell back between your legs and try to avoid swamping the gaff,and soaking your ballsack.

Great exercise in hand eye co-ordination and an excellent test of sobriety.

minxie

I always wipe first no matter where it is...
some of these places are manky

In saying that some ladies toilets are just the
same... if not worse sometimes :mad:

thegen

House parties and hoverin girls = piss on seat as well;)

stepbar

I wipe the seat, always.

Firetrap

I don't engage with toilet seats where strangers' manky thighs 'n arses have been. I've a friend who carries a bottle of toilet seat cleansing lotion- we might yet be having a chat.

yerayeah

Just make sure your calibrations are correct and land it straight down the middle. Then fire it all into the water to make sure you don't get it on the seat. And as for people thinking you wet the toilet seat, surely nobody would be paying much attention to people coming and going to the toilet?

stepbar

Firetrap wrote: »

I don't engage with toilet seats where strangers' manky thighs 'n arses have been. I've a friend who carries a bottle of toilet seat cleansing lotion- we might yet be having a chat.

Now he is weird...

Ya-Boy-Ya

I cant believe I got to the end of this thread without puking :eek:

puta sock in it

Ya-Boy-Ya wrote: »

I cant believe I got to the end of this thread without puking :eek:

I cant believe I got to the end of this thread without pissing...!!!!!

JIZZLORD

if it's dry i'll use away. if wet i'll wipe the hell out of it, providing there's enough bog roll

Tony EH

Reg'stoy wrote: »

OK so here's my problem. I was at a house party last weekend usual mix of people. Anyway was drinking bottles of beer, so naturally enough ended up needing the toilet and was shown to one by the house owner.

It was your run of the mill typical semi-D style down stairs toilet in the hall way. Step around the usual gathering in the hall and close the door behind me. Now like most fellas I like to pee standing up including the bloke who used the toilet before me. The ignorant f*** had just pissed all over the seat and left. I lifted the seat gingerly but it was one of those seats that won't stay up 'bollox'. So there I am holding the seat and the lad (it was now obvious that the yer man couldn't be bothered to hold the seat up). I finish up only to realise that the next person in might be waiting outside and they could be female (last thing I wanted to be known as by all the women there, was the bloke who pisses all over the seat).

Ended up wiping the seat clean of someone else's piss and yep every f***ing time I went for a slash some other prick has yes you guessed it, pissed all over the seat.

So my question to you the very knowledgeable after hours posters is, should I have wiped the seat or just said 'sod it' and hopefully not be known as the bloke who pissed all over the seat by all and sundry.

If you knew the git that did it, why didn't you just have a word with him and get him to clean it up? If that failed, make a show of him in public and make it very clear to everyone that it was HIM who pissed all over the toilet seat.

Job done.

the_syco

If I'm drinked, and need to pee, I pee. Once the lid is open, I'll aim at the hole, and hope for the best.

Darksaga87

JIZZLORD wrote: »

if it's dry i'll use away. if wet i'll wipe the hell out of it, providing there's enough bog roll

Otherwise you sit in the piss?:D

joes girls

i cover the seat in loo roll first then sit.......:o

antodeco

I always go in the cistern (whether it be a 1 or a 2). When the next person flushes...Awesome.

FlutterinBantam

antodeco wrote: »

I always go in the cistern (whether it be a 1 or a 2). When the next person flushes...Awesome.

Sooo 1998.