Wipe the seat or not

Reg'stoy

OK so here's my problem. I was at a house party last weekend usual mix of people. Anyway was drinking bottles of beer, so naturally enough ended up needing the toilet and was shown to one by the house owner.

It was your run of the mill typical semi-D style down stairs toilet in the hall way. Step around the usual gathering in the hall and close the door behind me. Now like most fellas I like to pee standing up including the bloke who used the toilet before me. The ignorant f*** had just pissed all over the seat and left. I lifted the seat gingerly but it was one of those seats that won't stay up 'bollox'. So there I am holding the seat and the lad (it was now obvious that the yer man couldn't be bothered to hold the seat up). I finish up only to realise that the next person in might be waiting outside and they could be female (last thing I wanted to be known as by all the women there, was the bloke who pisses all over the seat).

Ended up wiping the seat clean of someone else's piss and yep every f***ing time I went for a slash some other prick has yes you guessed it, pissed all over the seat.

So my question to you the very knowledgeable after hours posters is, should I have wiped the seat or just said 'sod it' and hopefully not be known as the bloke who pissed all over the seat by all and sundry.

easyeason3

As a female I would have appreciated you wiping it, but I normally wipe the seat before I use it anyway even though I hover regardless.
Had you not wiped it & I walked in straight after you I'd assume it was your mess & then you would have been branded a filthy animal.

Also do guys stand directly over the bowl & scratch their balls so that their short & curlies fall everywhere?

Yet another disgusting habit I encounter quite a bit.

Berty

Reg'stoy wrote: »

It was your run of the mill typical semi-D style down stairs toilet in the hall way.

What kind of house has a toilet in the hallway?

Fvcking peasants or what?

WoollyRedHat

I blame feminisits.

Senna

When these complicated maters come up, i just pee in the sink.

My name is URL

I use the sink at house parties, it's far more efficient imo

seanybiker

I always wipe the seat. Seeing piss all over the place is manky.

Snowie

I just lift the seat and leave it up ......

Vain

Shoulda hosed off the piss with more piss. Its what I would of done.

Ruu_Old

Clog up the loo and leave out the window.

Vain

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

I just lift the seat and leave it up ......

But as the op said the seat wouldnt stay up on its own. Unless you want to stay in the jacks all night holding the seat up watching people piss. Kinky:D

phasers

As a female I just piss in the sink so I don't care

Vain

phasers wrote: »

As a female I just piss in the sink so I don't care

Pics or gtfo, You should go on Britains got talent.

FearDark

Do what I do at house parties and piss into an empty bottle of miller.


...and wait.

Lilyblue

easyeason3 wrote: »

As a female I would have appreciated you wiping it, but I normally wipe the seat before I use it anyway even though I hover regardless.
Had you not wiped it & I walked in straight after you I'd assume it was your mess & then you would have been branded a filthy animal.

Me too

Poor Uncle Tom

Posh party.....

Gully outside the kitchen window is for pissing in.;)

Vain

FearDark wrote: »

Do what I do at house parties and piss into an empty bottle of miller.


...and wait.

I bet you never run out of miller.

Reg'stoy

phasers wrote: »

As a female I just piss in the sink so I don't care

Damn never thought of the sink, maybe if I had bothered washing my hands it might have occured to me.

FearDark

Vain wrote: »

I bet you never run out of miller.

I dont drink that piss

Snowie

Vain wrote: »

But as the op said the seat wouldnt stay up on its own. Unless you want to stay in the jacks all night holding the seat up watching people piss. Kinky:D

I hate toilets like that :mad: there one like that in my mums bathroom trying to aim and hold the thing up so anoying i would of she-wee'd in that case ....
No i dont having a peeing fetish, i once new this drug dealer who we where smoking a few splifs with and turned around and said

i'd love to leave a little turd on a black woman

I never laughed so hard and cryed so much in all my life :pac:

phasers wrote: »

As a female I just piss in the sink so I don't care

I once had sex on a sink it broke but we carried on regardless

Vain

wimmenz should be made carry one of this bad boys around at all times
http://shop.packyourbags.com/acatalog/Shewee_Ladies_Wee_Funnel.html

Im getting sick of wimmenz giving out to me for trying to see how far i can step back while p!ssing and still get it in the bowl. I could the toliet seat as the bowl aswell, its the same thing really.

phasers

Vain wrote: »

Pics or gtfo, You should go on Britains got talent.

They didn't broadcast my audition, but Piers Morgan invited me back to his dressing room to discuss my career

galwayrush

Always wipe before you sit down,

Fulton Crown

Jezze ..what a nation !

Half way through a house party ..kludgy is usually a freekin swamp !

My deal is to wait until the wand is well full and in semi limber position.

If the seat is wet ..give it a good hose down so at least I'll be wiping my own piss.

Check for any cobwebs or spiders and if noticed ..give them a good drenching with the Japs Eye...buggers can spread disease...

All toilets should have moist wipes for female users..so if none present ..give the toilet roll a good spray....it's only manners.

Be sure to water any potted plants...but be carefull of cacti.

Finally clear the walls of any flaky paint, candlegrease ,dried sh1t or spunk stains with a couple of well directed Jets.

Flush and leave......job done !!:D

TheZohanS

Fulton Crown wrote: »

Jezze ..what a nation !

Half way through a house party ..kludgy is usually a freekin swamp !

My deal is to wait until the wand is well full and in semi limber position.

If the seat is wet ..give it a good hose down so at least I'll be wiping my own piss.

Check for any cobwebs or spiders and if noticed ..give them a good drenching with the Japs Eye...buggers can spread disease...

All toilets should have moist wipes for female users..so if none present ..give the toilet roll a good spray....it's only manners.

Be sure to water any potted plants...but be carefull of cacti.

Finally clear the walls of any flaky paint, candlegrease ,dried sh1t or spunk stains with a couple of well directed Jets.

Flush and leave......job done !!:D

Ever consider doing an info-mercial?

Elliemental

I fear any toilet that isn't owned and policed by myself. I'd wiped the seat before I made any kind of bodily contact with it, even if it spotless.

poisonated

I always clean it off.Not in a filthy toilet though.Some toilets are absolutely disgusting and if they are like that anyway.

Darksaga87

Leave a note, clean it once, leave a note with your name telling everyone not to piss on the seat, then inform the women it was not you, all men are scum, and you are the only decent guy at the party.

admiralofthefleet

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

I blame feminisits.

trying to be a peemale

Armin_Tamzarian

This one time, at a house-party, my mate pissed in the house owner's iron.
He wanted to get him back for pissing him off all night.

That would have been one hell of an interesting ironing session to watch.

SoupyNorman

All of us men should follow LD's example...

El problemo solved...

admiralofthefleet

The_Coon wrote: »

This one time, at a house-party, my mate pissed in the house owner's iron.
He wanted to get him back for pissing him off all night.

That would have been one hell of an interesting ironing session to watch.

thats like taking a shyte in the cistern or 'top decking' as its known

joes girls

ya wipe you always should wipe even if it looks clean......

dr.bollocko

Hey if it looks clean it's clean enough for me.
I'm disinclined to hover.

easyeason3

easyeason3 wrote: »

Also do guys stand directly over the bowl & scratch their balls so that their short & curlies fall everywhere?

Yes, although 'scratching' is completely the wrong terminology. It's much safer and more satisfying if you just rub the scrotal sac between thumb and forefinger, kinda like when you're trying to ask a deaf person for money.

@ OP: This happens to me all the time. What i usually do is wipe it, then let everyone know that i had to wipe the jacks before using it but that's the last time i'll be doing it. Any future seat-piss shall remain.

O'Coonassa

Deleted User wrote: »

more satisfying if you just rub the scrotal sac between thumb and forefinger, kinda like when you're trying to ask a deaf person for money.

Man you're going to get busted doing that to deaf people.

raunch

Reg'stoy wrote: »

OK so here's my problem. I was at a house party last weekend usual mix of people. Anyway was drinking bottles of beer, so naturally enough ended up needing the toilet and was shown to one by the house owner.

It was your run of the mill typical semi-D style down stairs toilet in the hall way. Step around the usual gathering in the hall and close the door behind me. Now like most fellas I like to pee standing up including the bloke who used the toilet before me. The ignorant f*** had just pissed all over the seat and left. I lifted the seat gingerly but it was one of those seats that won't stay up 'bollox'. So there I am holding the seat and the lad (it was now obvious that the yer man couldn't be bothered to hold the seat up). I finish up only to realise that the next person in might be waiting outside and they could be female (last thing I wanted to be known as by all the women there, was the bloke who pisses all over the seat).

Ended up wiping the seat clean of someone else's piss and yep every f***ing time I went for a slash some other prick has yes you guessed it, pissed all over the seat.

So my question to you the very knowledgeable after hours posters is, should I have wiped the seat or just said 'sod it' and hopefully not be known as the bloke who pissed all over the seat by all and sundry.

Nope "sod it"

Captain-America

Just take a dump in ths sink to distract attention away from the toilet with piss all over it.

robinph

Only go in after a wimins and she will have nicely cleaned the place up for you before hand.

Iang87

robinph wrote: »

Only go in after a wimins and she will have nicely cleaned the place up for you before hand.

always a risky play what if you go in and there's a strong smell and **** stains on the bowl, then you dont know what to do.

oh nothing stinks like a female poopy

stovelid

Nearly always piss sitting down, unless it's a urinal of course. Got into the habit when I lived in a ultra-'PC' commune in Germany years ago. Far better if you share the toilet with women. Standing up is always going to make the place smell a bit more because there's always some minute spray even if you aim well.

In a situation where some bonehead has pissed on the seat, I wipe and hover. I can't get my head around the fact that some twats can actually walk off and leave a toilet seat covered in piss. It beggars belief.

Tinchy

stovelid wrote: »

In a situation where some bonehead has pissed on the seat, I wipe and hover. I can't get my head around the fact that some twats can actually walk off and leave a toilet seat covered in piss. It beggars belief.

i know! was in college 2day, one of the girls in my class came out of the cubicle, i went in after and the seat was covered in pee!! :eek: i stood there in horror, it was too much to wipe, so i just left.
its the people who hover that make the mess imo.

hello_there_jim

i lick it!

cherryghost

dear god, i absolutely hate walking into a toilet to find piss all over the seat. i give it a good clean down, and inspect it again, i mean really, what if you needed to do a number 2? i bet theres people that sit down on the stuff.

Captain-America

hello_there_jim wrote: »

i lick it!

hello_there_jim everybody!


*claps*

FlutterinBantam

A good way of checking if you are drunk is to hit the can,drop the cacks and BACK towards the pot.

Bend forward slowly and point the bell back between your legs and try to avoid swamping the gaff,and soaking your ballsack.

Great exercise in hand eye co-ordination and an excellent test of sobriety.

minxie

I always wipe first no matter where it is...
some of these places are manky

In saying that some ladies toilets are just the
same... if not worse sometimes :mad:

thegen

House parties and hoverin girls = piss on seat as well;)

stepbar

I wipe the seat, always.

Firetrap

I don't engage with toilet seats where strangers' manky thighs 'n arses have been. I've a friend who carries a bottle of toilet seat cleansing lotion- we might yet be having a chat.

yerayeah

Just make sure your calibrations are correct and land it straight down the middle. Then fire it all into the water to make sure you don't get it on the seat. And as for people thinking you wet the toilet seat, surely nobody would be paying much attention to people coming and going to the toilet?