borderline personality disorder/bpd

margarite

margarite wrote: »

I would love a on line support group I think it is a great idea.

Pse forget the stigma and remember what you were taught. It is getting to me at the moment due to my Mother s death and split in the family. I m taking each day as it comes. It is very hard.

Roquentin

Galbin wrote: »

My sister fits the criteria for BPD to a tee. I studied personality disorders at college, and she definitely fit into BPD. She even told me before that she thought she had it. Her life is a complete disaster as a result. She is in an abusive relationship and will do things like stay up till 5 in the morning screaming at her partner and then have to get up for work 3 hours later!

She did have a stint in a psych hospital, but she completely lied and hid her real personality (as she always does in public), so they missed the dx. She was also functional and nice on antidepressants, but came off them the second she got home from hospital.

Her main issue now is that she is in a relationship that has made her completely ill. It is so horrible and stressful, yet she refuses to break up. She literally has panic tacks if they ever nearly split up despite the fact that they have the worst relationship I have ever seen. There has even been violence. She wants to get married and have kids, but she will never be able to do that if she stays with him as she has refused his marriage proposals a few times. Plus she is nearly 40.

She says she can't break up with him (even though she kinda hates him!) because she will be suicidal without him. We don't know what to do as she won't engage with counsellors (common BPD phenomenon, I know) and she just gets sicker and sicker and more unhappy as time goes by.

Even beyond the relationship, her life strategies are so bad for her. Like she will stay awake all night worrying, crying and screaming about a health problem rather than go to a doctor. And she is so angry all the time.

Nobody knows what to do. Is there *any* way to get her help?

i always do that. im like an actor or a chameleon in that i can change my personality to suit the environment. Most of the time i am quiet because i know i would draw attention or get in trouble. But i can turn up the energy if required. I would have issues with identity, in that i am unsure of who i am and what i want from life.

Roquentin

So.. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment- for me constantly calling, texting, obsessive behaviour in interpersonal relationships, mates - girlfriends or boyf, asking them how they feel 24/7, looking for unreasonable validation, not wanting them to go out with mates or have hobbies, with mates wanting to be the best friend.

when i text a mate and dont get a reply within 15 minutes i start thinking have i done something or offended them

a pattern of unstable r'ships, characterised between idealization or devalaution: For me with men, they're like god couldnt get better they dont answer your 20 phonecalls, u freak, cry theyre like the worst ever
friends- u love them suddenly they dont answer one text or call or forget to meet u then u suddenly feel intense anger or hate

when someone doesnt turn up when they say they will or if some goes against plan, i fall into a rage

Identity Disturbance- for me - im gorgeous, bright etc to being fat, ugly stupid not worth knowing

Identity is a big issue for me. I am not really sure who i am and what i am meant to be doing

Inpulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self harming- sex, drink, drugs, overspending, drink driving, binge eating, for me one night stands and overspending- running up huge mobile bills talking to ppl

Not impulsive at all though

Recurrent suicidal threats, behaviour, attempts, for me I had a big row a break up, i have taken tablets and called the ex or mate who left me.

Again not bad on this front, although i have been very low

Affective Instability due to marked reactivity of mood - for me tiny things can set me off and i dont talk to my partner for hours sometimes a couple of days, but with mates some i have never spoken to again ( i may even be annoyed at something they said last week, month, year and something triggers the angry response)

a 100% this. another person lets say might get a dent on their car. If i did, i would fall into either a serious rage or serious depression. I have to be carefull in life, because i know, that i have a low stress acceptance level.

chronic feelings of emptiness- for me just feeling so detached and lonely and that theres nothing inside me worth having.

I am alone, but not lonely. I have come to love being alone

Inappropriate anger, difficulty controlling anger- for me inappropriate is the buzz word, most ppl wont go off on one if their partner laughs at them singing a word wrong in song while driving away to cork for the weekend, i flipped and wouldnt speak to him for 16 hours. I couldnt control how angry i felt coz i was annoyed i got a word wrong, at work if someone makes a mistake in their own work and i find out about it from someone else i go ****ing nuts even though it doesnt effect me directly.

i have a terrible rage

the last criteria is transient, stress related paranoid ideation or dissociative symptoms, this is i only have rarely but recently in couples therapy with my fiance, he said something and i erupted, then he started crying, coz clearly i hurt him but yet i told him to wipe his eyes i didnt want to see him crying like a pussy, that it wasnt my fault.

my defense mechanism is to shut down in times off stress or potential stress situations. A job interview for example, i would be stressed out and just zone out to negate the anxiety.

Hmmmmmm.... another big thing with BPD is that the person can be can manipulative, although i hope i am not very often, i do emotionally beat my fiance when i wont or cant responsibility for an argument.

wouldnt say i am manipulative. I try to be a good man. But i do change my personality to suit the occasion.

i havent actually been diagnosed BPD, but highly suspect i have it. i have narrowed it down to schizotypal and BPD and certainly symptoms overlap.

chinacup

Found a beautiful post on BPD today just thought I'd share:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-emotional-vulnerability-of-borderline-personality-disorder/0009521

Roquentin

http://www.bpdcentral.com/blog/?Distorted-Beliefs-and-Attitudes-of-People-with-Borderline-Disorder-42

heres another good read

Tie Will

Hi Tie Will, there is a specific forum for this to be found at Home Topics>Science, Health & Environment >Researcher