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birthday present ideas for a granny...

jon1981 · 2009-05-01 15:08:41

any ideas? every year is the same, never know what to get!! :confused:

01-05-2009 3:08pm

#1

jon1981

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any ideas? every year is the same, never know what to get!!

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#2 01-05-2009 3:09pm

4zn76tysfajdxp

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Surprise party.

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#3 01-05-2009 3:09pm

az2wp0sye65487

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Vibrator

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#4 01-05-2009 3:09pm

Quazzie

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a lactating nipple.

Gummy grannies love to suck!

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#5 01-05-2009 3:10pm

WIZE

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A razor for the wire goatie

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#6 01-05-2009 3:11pm

jon1981

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sick f**Ks...i cant believe some of yis went there!!!

its a serious genuine and important question!

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#7 01-05-2009 3:11pm

Loopy

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crotchless granny knickers?

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#8 01-05-2009 3:12pm

Schism

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Giant cake, stripper optional.

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#9 01-05-2009 3:12pm

petes

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jon1981 wrote: »

sick f**Ks...i cant believe some of yis went there!!!

its a serious genuine and important question!

You do realise you posted this in AH!!

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#10 01-05-2009 3:13pm

Hagar

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Viagra for grand-dad. Granny would appreciate that.

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#11 01-05-2009 3:14pm

jon1981

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Insurgent wrote: »

You do realise you posted this in AH!!

yeah i knew i was playing with fire on this one.... but it is the most viewed forum so i was hoping i might get lucky!

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#12 01-05-2009 3:15pm

4zn76tysfajdxp

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jon1981 wrote: »

i was hoping i might get lucky!

There's your present right there.

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#13 01-05-2009 3:15pm

[Deleted User]
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Strap-on

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#14 01-05-2009 3:15pm

jon1981

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Hagar wrote: »

Viagra for grand-dad. Granny would appreciate that.

unless its going to make him burst through his coffin, dig through 6 foot of muck and run 20 miles home ...i very much doubt it will work.

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#15 01-05-2009 3:16pm

javaboy

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Try here for proper ideas: http://boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=853

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#16 01-05-2009 3:17pm

ScumLord

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jon1981 wrote: »

unless its going to make him burst through his coffin, dig through 6 foot of muck and run 20 miles home ...i very much doubt it will work.

OMG! Get her a zombie, everybody loves zombies.

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#17 01-05-2009 3:18pm

4zn76tysfajdxp

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jon1981 wrote: »

unless its going to make him burst through his coffin, dig through 6 foot of muck and run 20 miles home ...i very much doubt it will work.

Sounds like you have one very ugly grandmother.

Plastic surgery?

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#18 01-05-2009 3:19pm

missbaker

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Pm sent

Ye boys are so MEAN!!!!

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#19 01-05-2009 3:20pm

Doublin

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a gigolo I think and you would always have a special place in her heart for giving her the best present ever..

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#20 01-05-2009 3:21pm

jon1981

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screw the lot of yis...i got a decent suggestion... and its not a gigolo, a vibrator or a bloody Zombie!!

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#21 01-05-2009 3:21pm

4zn76tysfajdxp

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missbaker wrote: »

Pm sent

Who would've thought the OP's grandmother posts on Boards?

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#22 01-05-2009 3:23pm

[Deleted User]
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jon1981 wrote: »

screw the lot of yis...i got a decent suggestion... and its not a gigolo, a vibrator or a bloody Zombie!!

A vibrating zombie gigolo?

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#23 01-05-2009 3:25pm

missbaker

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Talia Incalculable Choke wrote: »

Who would've thought the OP's grandmother posts on Boards?

Watch it!!!! Im no granny!!! the cheek!

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#24 01-05-2009 3:27pm

Mr Benevolent

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Inflatable man-doll
Gigolo (might have to pay a supplement)
Vibrating tea cosy
Daniel O'Donnell lookalike stripper
Voucher for one free heart attack at her local A&E

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#25 01-05-2009 3:27pm

ScumLord

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jon1981 wrote: »

screw the lot of yis...i got a decent suggestion... and its not a gigolo, a vibrator or a bloody Zombie!!

Lets hope she's not reading this thread or she'll be thoroughly disappointed.

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#26 01-05-2009 3:28pm

spadder

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Cmon folks, keep it clean.

Skateboard?

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#27 01-05-2009 3:31pm

PCPhoto

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Cant believe no-one suggested this :

A coffin !!!

its practical and you know she'll probably use it (eventually) :rolleyes:

failing that a helper monkey..... I've heard they are quite good (except when they start throwing poo...... monkey poo !! )

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#28 01-05-2009 3:36pm

Tom65

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I clicked on this thread wondering how long it'd be before someone said either "vibrator" or "dildo".

2 posts.

AH never fails.

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#29 01-05-2009 3:37pm

banquo

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Tom Jones.

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#30 01-05-2009 3:37pm

banshee_bones

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A nice garden knome...

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#31 01-05-2009 3:40pm

Fizman

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Get her really drunk, and get her to snog one of her hot, Gilfy friends. Record it. Post results here.

Niiiiiice! :pac:

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#32 01-05-2009 3:41pm

biko

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Teeth?

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#33 01-05-2009 3:44pm

Fizman

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Magnus wrote: »

Teeth?

Like in the movie? Ah yes, they would act as an anti-rape device! Genius.

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#34 01-05-2009 3:58pm

dilallio

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How about some nice red shoes

Attachment not found.

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#35 01-05-2009 4:00pm

ejmaztec

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Extra-extra strong deodorant to mask the smell of Sugar Puffs and piss.

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#36 01-05-2009 4:01pm

monkey9

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Wayne Rooney??

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#37 01-05-2009 4:04pm

the_syco

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jon1981 wrote: »

unless its going to make him burst through his coffin, dig through 6 foot of muck and run 20 miles home ...i very much doubt it will work.

What was his shoe size? It may just be possible.

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#38 01-05-2009 4:16pm

Professey Chin

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missbaker wrote: »

Watch it!!!! Im no granny!!! the cheek!

So you want the vibrating zombie gigilo instead?
Disgraceful.Tryin to rob a grannies present :eek:

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#39 01-05-2009 4:31pm

missbaker

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Ultimate Chin wrote: »

So you want the vibrating zombie gigilo instead?
Disgraceful.Tryin to rob a grannies present :eek:

Yes please!!:p

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#40 01-05-2009 4:37pm

Degsy

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A nice day out to the old-peoples' home.

In romania.

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#41 01-05-2009 4:54pm

Turd Ferguson

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Coke and hookers!!!!

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#42 01-05-2009 5:07pm

Professey Chin

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missbaker wrote: »

Yes please!!:p

*Gets shovel, batteries and banana hammock*

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#43 01-05-2009 6:58pm

missbaker

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Ultimate Chin wrote: »

*Gets shovel, batteries and banana hammock*

Shovel?? Should i be scared? :eek:

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#44 01-05-2009 7:41pm

ejmaztec

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Lily-scented Chanel "Rigor Mortis" embalming fluid. Because she's worth it.

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#45 01-05-2009 7:43pm

Mrmoe

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polo mints

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#46 01-05-2009 8:18pm

Dr Galen

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months supply of granny sized pampers?

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#47 01-05-2009 8:25pm

Hagar

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A giant box of After Eight mints. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

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#48 01-05-2009 8:33pm

jon1981

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jasus lads you got some mileage out of that... anyway im sorted now!

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#49 01-05-2009 8:36pm

SV

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jon1981 wrote: »

jasus lads you got some mileage out of that... anyway im sorted now!

You settled on the vibrator then?

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#50 01-05-2009 8:38pm

liah

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Spend the day out with her and offer to buy her one thing she wants that she sees. Also buy her a box of her favourite sweets beforehand.

Old people just really want company. She'd probably be delighted if you spent all day with her.

Alternatively, get her a parrot.

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#51 01-05-2009 8:39pm

TheZohanS

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A pair of Y fronts...that's what I'm going to get my granny this year....see how she likes it...wrinkly aul.....

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