What are the best ways to annoy your girlfriend??

Brian_Uckfast

Was reading these somewhere, dont know if I have the gonads to try them out though!! Priceless..

1. Make an extremely challenging puzzle for her to accomplish in order to get some gift. Make sure to give her clues that wont actually help her.

2. Find her wallet and move all her cards around. Be sure to flip some over too.

3. Explain something extremely vaguely. Use lots of hand gestures and pretend you're frustrated when you're talking. It's bound to do the same to her.

4. Act childish. When she tells you stop, throw a little tantrum.

Guaranteed success!!

Any more??...

Basq

Set her on fire..

.. guaranteed to piss her off royally.

giggsy664

Say "**** you" her face and then start ****ing a hooker.

Or a gigollo if you're into that type of thing

Local-womanizer

Tea bag her every time she sleeps.

"Tell her mother what a good ride she is" or tell her what a good ride her mother is.

Whosbetter?

Tell her mother what a good ride she is.:D:D:D

Brian_Uckfast

Ways that will NOT result in imminent death, however........

Kiera

Fart in bed after a hot curry and waft the duvet up and down a few times. This one will always make us mad!:mad:

Insect Overlord

Sleep with her sister.

No, scratch that, sleep with her brother to really confuse her.

galwayrush

Wiping your dick off the curtains always works.:D

SoWatchaWant

Leave the toilet seat up lolol

I always do it lololol

Until we broke up that is, ROFL

Brian_Uckfast

Kiera wrote: »

Fart in bed after a hot curry and waft the duvet up and down a few times. This one will always make us mad!:mad:

Ah yes, the Dutch Oven. A classic

Brian_Uckfast

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

4. Act childish. When she tells you stop, throw a little tantrum.

Guaranteed success!!

Any more??...

"act"?

Brian_Uckfast

SoWatchaWant wrote: »

Leave the toilet seat up lolol

I always do it lololol

Until we broke up that is, ROFL

Is that the reason??

AnonoBoy

You f*cking stay away from my girlfriend ya pr*ck.

Brian_Uckfast

AnonoBoy wrote: »

You f*cking stay away from my girlfriend ya pr*ck.

New thread: "What are the best ways to annoy AnonoBoy"

easyeason3

Scratch your balls/ arse & try to rub her face afterwards.
Particularly effective if you can get a pube to get stuck under your nail.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Gummy Panda

Turn her on so much that she is moisty and has a wide-on, then when she pulls down her knickers... point at her vag and laugh. Guaranteed to piss her off*






* May lead to penis removal

Acacia

Why do men like annoying their girlfriends, though? Not ranting or looking for an argument here, just curious.

Brian_Uckfast

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Turn her on so much that she is moisty and has a wide-on, then when she pulls down her knickers... point at her vag and laugh. Guaranteed to piss her off*






* May lead to penis removal

Wow

WoollyRedHat

Make a sextape and post it on after hours. That will be a sure way to annoy her.

JangoFett

Poke her in the face constantly, even when talking about something innane, just do it as if it were perfectly normal to do

Brian_Uckfast

Acacia wrote: »

Why do men like annoying their girlfriends, though? Not ranting or looking for an argument here, just curious.

Dont even go there...

Acacia

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

Dont even go there...

Well, I've asked my friends and they just say ''It's fun!" I don't really get it, but *shrug*

Whosbetter?

Tell her, her arse does look big that.

Local-womanizer

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

New thread: "What are the best ways to annoy AnonoBoy"

Tea bag him.....

Lilyblue

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Tea bag him.....

:eek: :pac:

magick

cum first then ask whats for dinner

Whosbetter?

Suggest that she re-takes her driving test because giving your driving test examiner a good blow job doesn't really qualify you for driving on the Public Road.

Jesus Juice

Alabama Hotpocket her...Although depending on the girl she may love it or hate it!:pac:

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Brian_Uckfast

Put chewing gum on her furniture!!...(trust me! :rolleyes: )

Whosbetter?

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

Put chewing gum on her furniture!!...(trust me! :rolleyes: )

On her pillow would be better.:D

thebiggestjim

When girls don't put out!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

herobear

fhuta!

Lilyblue

thebiggestjim wrote: »

When girls don't put out!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Didn't really happen did it BigJim?

mayotom

thebiggestjim wrote: »

When girls don't put out!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

thats an old one, have you not got any of your own

Brian_Uckfast

mayotom wrote: »

thats an old one, have you not got any of your own

Did you really have to quote that?

Sanjuro

Break up with her. It sure annoyed my ex to the nth degree.

thebiggestjim

Lilyblue wrote: »

Didn't really happen did it BigJim?

of course not

Brian_Uckfast

I just realised this post is gonna piss her off if she sees it!!

Back of the net!

pablomakaveli

Give her a "Spiderman".

Lilyblue

thebiggestjim wrote: »

of course not

Haven't heard it in a while, good man

harney

I find quoting the tactics employed by Dr Phil and Nanny 911 are very effective, in fact may I even suggest the "naughty corner" or what every it is called is genius - 1 minute for every year of age in the naughty corner*

Whosbetter? wrote: »

Tell her, her arse does look big that.

Proceed to point out that her sisters wouldn't



*Not my problem when she tries to murder you

useful_contacts

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

Was reading these somewhere, dont know if I have the gonads to try them out though!! Priceless

1. Make an extremely challenging puzzle for her to accomplish in order to get some gift. Make sure to give her clues that wont actually help her.

no as a woman id be insulted if you tried to get me to win gifts

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

2. Find her wallet and move all her cards around. Be sure to flip some over too.

I wouldnt even notice tbh

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

3. Explain something extremely vaguely. Use lots of hand gestures and pretend you're frustrated when you're talking. It's bound to do the same to her..

Ah....no

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

4. Act childish. When she tells you stop, throw a little tantrum.

Guaranteed success!!..

Not really

If you want no sex ever then go ahead

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

Any more??...

If she asks "does my bum look big in this" say yes

When your lying in bed and hugging ask her "Is she getting chunkier because she feels chunkier"(got this from Scrubs)

When your in a very pubic place(Like at the counter in Mc Donalds where people can hear) say "So when we going to do the threesome we were taking about

deepriver

girlfriend: I want to have kids

me: nah lets just get a dog

Girlfriend storms of making dramatic sighing noises and banging things while I chuckle to myself and high five internally

Brian_Uckfast

useful_contacts wrote: »

no as a woman id be insulted if you tried to get me to win gifts



I wouldnt even notice tbh



Ah....no



Not really

If you want no sex ever then go ahead



If she asks "does my bum look big in this" say yes

When your lying in bed and hugging ask her "Is she getting chunkier because she feels chunkier"(got this from Scrubs)

When your in a very pubic place(Like at the counter in Mc Donalds where people can hear) say "So when we going to do the threesome we were taking about

So you speak on behalf of everyone? Maybe you have achieved inner peace. You shouldn't post about things you know nothing about

Abi

Behaving like Drop Dead Fred would be fun.

* Call her "Snot face" frequently.

* Cut off chunks of her hair

* Pour cornflakes / random food all over the floor

* Drag a bucket of mud into the house containing as many worms as you can find and ask if she'd like to make mud and worm pies

* Eat the them

The possibilities are endless.. Refrain from washing and shaving, take to walking around in the nip, always leave skiddys in the toilet..

useful_contacts

Brian_Uckfast wrote: »

You shouldn't post about things you know nothing about

Well why you on here posting about women so?

Brian_Uckfast

useful_contacts wrote: »

Well why you on here posting about women so?

Did that post annoy you??

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Abigayle wrote: »

Behaving like Drop Dead Fred would be fun.
..

Shave the neighbours pussy?