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Guys and their girl mates

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    #32
    Mr. Frost
    Closed Accounts Posts: 726 ✭✭✭Mr. Frost


    I've a few girl mates and they're all really attractive, thing is, I only see them as friends. Admittadly at first I didn't but, I wasn't into complicating things or being in a relationship and now I couldn't see them as anything but now.

    We go out all the time, gigs etc...they're great fun and different.


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    #33
    dizzyniki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 56 ✭✭dizzyniki


    AlanSparrowhawk wrote: »
    I don't have many friends who are girls. The ones that I do have I met in very "asexual" circumstances like college/work/gym or are my friends girl friends. I don't think relationships are as contrived or as artificial as dizzyniki implies. Invariably, I will develop a "crush" on girls that I find attractive who aren't interested in me romantically.

    yes exactly and when it becomes apparent that its a 'crush'...its actually hard to ignore!!!! i've had one friend, who I was really close to but not sexually attracted to at all, who really really freaked me out about how much he liked me and when i said that I seriously couldnt think of him as anything but a friend, everything changed........it was no longer a friendship which worried me because i know of the same happening to others and they agree that when things like that happen their viewpoint on the male/female relationship changes.....

    And as a matter of fact...i used to think that i had male friends who were genuine but when they became involved in new relationships they quickly stopped texting and phoning which would seriosuly make you consider whether or not the only reason that they were texting in the first place was because they were looking for more than a friendship............the only other posiible explanation for them to stop texting is if their new partner was completely against their partner texting other women........ I dont believe in the whole ending friendships for relationships either.........so if that's what you want to call a 'contrived' or 'artificial' take on relationships then so be it...


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    #34
    AlanSparrowhawk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 485 ✭✭AlanSparrowhawk


    Well you're lucky you're such a desirable woman. Aphrodite doesn't have a patch on you.


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    #35
    A-Trak
    Registered Users Posts: 2,315 ✭✭✭A-Trak


    The difference between a "Female friend," and someone you would bamboozle into the sack is about 7 pints I've found.

    A "Good friend," who's female when your a bloke?
    Pffft, no such thing. Only true if your gay or lying.


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    #36
    dizzyniki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 56 ✭✭dizzyniki


    AlanSparrowhawk wrote: »
    Well you're lucky you're such a desirable woman. Aphrodite doesn't have a patch on you.

    And I'm sorry that you only have silly crushes on the ones that dont find you attractive romantically...........maybe you should work on that!!!!


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    #37
    AlanSparrowhawk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 485 ✭✭AlanSparrowhawk


    dizzyniki wrote: »
    And I'm sorry that you only have silly crushes on the ones that dont find you attractive romantically...........maybe you should work on that!!!!

    I didn't say only.


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    #38
    MissRealist
    Registered Users Posts: 210 ✭✭MissRealist


    My best friend is a guy. We're friends almost nine years now and i've never "crushed" on him so it is possible to have a simple friend.

    Our mothers want to marry us off but we don't let it bother us.

    As for what we do? Movies, food, talk, holidays...


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    #39
    dizzyniki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 56 ✭✭dizzyniki


    AlanSparrowhawk wrote: »
    I didn't say only.

    And I never said that ALL my male friends tried it on with me!!!!


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    #40
    weemcd
    Registered Users Posts: 6,420 ✭✭✭weemcd


    imo guys and girls cant be friends without the guy being at least a bit attracted to the girl, otherwise there's no interest. The girl might just want to be friends, but no male has ever wanted to be just friends with a girl


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    #41
    Gummy Panda
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,919 ✭✭✭✭Gummy Panda


    OP lots of guys are friends with girls that they don't want to have relationships or sleep with.

    I know a few girls I'm friends with but wouldn't shag.


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    #42
    Creamy Goodness
    Registered Users Posts: 26,558 ✭✭✭✭Creamy Goodness


    weemcd wrote: »
    imo guys and girls cant be friends without the guy being at least a bit attracted to the girl, otherwise there's no interest. The girl might just want to be friends, but no male has ever wanted to be just friends with a girl
    ahh that's complete bollocks.

    i've a friend who's a girl, she loves good jokes i love good jokes, she loves everything i love i love everything she loves, she plays guitar i play guitar, she loves anime i love anime, drinks good beer i drink good beer and i've know her since i was about 7.

    i ain't attracted to her, i just see her as one of the lads with long hair and slightly bigger and more rounded man boobs.


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    #43
    turnfan
    Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭turnfan


    Chemistry between a guy and a girl results in friendship and / or relationship. There is always a nugget of attraction initially, but it can give different results.


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    #44
    Merch
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,327 ✭✭✭Merch


    dizzyniki wrote: »
    And as a matter of fact...i used to think that i had male friends who were genuine but when they became involved in new relationships they quickly stopped texting and phoning which would seriosuly make you consider whether or not the only reason that they were texting in the first place was because they were looking for more than a friendship............the only other posiible explanation for them to stop texting is if their new partner was completely against their partner texting other women........ I dont believe in the whole ending friendships for relationships either.........so if that's what you want to call a 'contrived' or 'artificial' take on relationships then so be it...

    I know mates of mine that did that to their friends (male) when they started going out with domeone, I wouldnt take it personally, think guys, probably women too might neglect their friends a bit when they meet someone and just get immersed in a relationship can make you kinda forget other stuff, people maybe thats guys mostly can be inconsiderate, know I've done it in the past.
    Doesnt mean they were only into you for sex, just means they're paying attention to their new Girlfriend
    It doesnt mean they werent into you either, it just means they are busy


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    #45
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,101 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    I've got a few women mates. Some we've done the nastay in the past, but it didn't click as a couple, but we're mates now and neither would want to jump in the leaba now. Others I've never had any interest in sexually. I can see why others might, but they just don't appeal to me(nor I to them).

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #46
    Gazza22
    Registered Users Posts: 2,117 ✭✭✭Gazza22


    Creamy Goodness wrote: »
    ahh that's complete bollocks.

    Agreed. One friend of mine in particular is seriously hot but i don't look at her in that way - she's basically one of the lads!

    I'd be rather pissed tbh if my gf had a problem with me being with female friends and thankfully she doesn't!


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    #47
    JaneyMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,420 ✭✭✭JaneyMc


    I have a lot of male friends, my best friend is a guy, he is like my brother, and I would never think of him in a romantic way. We do the usual crap I do with my other female friends, hangout etc

    I can understand what you're saying about feeling uncomfortable about him having female friends. My friends current girlfriend recently admitted to me that she was wary of me when they first started going out. She thought I had some ulterior motive, but then she go to know me. We built up a friendship and I hangout with her sometimes when he's not around. I suggest you try and get to know her, it might ease the anxiety.


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    #48
    liah
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,750 ✭✭✭liah


    All my mates are male.

    That being said, there's always been some level of attraction with each one-- either them to me or me to them, but it later evolved to be platonic. Except maybe one, I'm not really sure.

    I wouldn't worry about it.


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    #49
    bobcar61
    Registered Users Posts: 1,797 ✭✭✭bobcar61


    3 of my best friends are all female and one of those has mainly male friends.

    She just thinks guys are so much easier to get on with:cool:

    I have male friends and female friends.My girlfriends know that some of my best friends are female but I know some of her mates are male so there is no problem.


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    #50
    ronn90
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29 ✭ronn90


    Hi there just came in on this, thought I throw my point of view into the pot. I have, well, at least had, several female friends and it was great. We were close and we each gave the other a different perspective on things. We'd go for a coffee/beer have the odd meal out and that kinda thing. The thing is I'm married and my wife never minded that at all. We moved out of the country for a couple of years and lost touch and they got into steady relationships and that was the end of that. Such as life. It was great while it lasted and I never ever thought of them in any other way than as friends. So I'm guessing that men having female friends is fairly common.

    Actually writing this post has given me an idea!
    shqipshume wrote: »
    Yeah i know what you mean it already has.I get jealous and worried about the time and friendship he has with them.
    You see as i don't have any friends of opposite sex i find it so hard to be able to relate to it.
    Thanks :)


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    #51
    MadgeBadge
    Registered Users Posts: 228 ✭✭MadgeBadge


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I look with suspicion on any guy who has no female friends and any girl who has no guy friends.

    It's just weird.

    The majority of people in this country go to single sexed schools, following that the majority of my friends have gone on to become teachers, a very female orientated profession. So alot of them would only have close girl friends. Not a unusual, a result of circumstance.


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    #52
    dizzyniki
    Closed Accounts Posts: 56 ✭✭dizzyniki


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I look with suspicion on any guy who has no female friends and any girl who has no guy friends.

    It's just weird.


    My boyfriend has no female friends.......and i mean none.... i find it weird,....however he is very convincing when he lists his reasons as to why he has no female friends.....
    basically theres no beatin around the bush here..... hes a chauvinist..........he could never understand that I had lots and lots of male friends and would always say that men have ulterior motives for wanting to be friends... ....of course i am not buying that every man is like that but thats his way and i accept it... after many arguments over it!!!!!!!

    I find it difficult to believe that femals don't have male friends....but i'm not suprised at all that some men don't seek friendship in females...........my boyf loves the time we spend together but will never go to a nightclub with me, nor take me to the gym or a football match because these are things that he does with his male friends and i'm perfectly ok with this!!!!!!!!!! he's pure odd like!!!


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    #53
    Pinky Pixie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 241 ✭✭Pinky Pixie


    I love hanging out with my guy mates:). I often would meet up with them during the week either in a group or on their own. There is nothing sexual on my part and I don't think there is anything on their part. Although one of the lads has a theory that every guy fancies his girl mates and would if he had the chance, and for some I can see this is true but for the majority I'd say its bull. I had a few guy good mates who have made a move before and it kinda ruined the friendship.

    My close guy mates are great craic:p! We just hang out and do normal stuff like go to gigs and cinema. Hanging out with the boys is different to the girlies, there is just a different banter.

    For me I like a lad to have girl mates. They tend in my opinion not to put women on a pedestal as much. Girls are quite protective over their guy mates more so than lads would be. I think meeting a guy I'm dating's girl mates is way more daunting than meeting the boys :)


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    #54
    Darkbloom
    Registered Users Posts: 202 ✭✭Darkbloom


    I agree with lots of people here.

    I must say that I hate men/women who fancy their friends, but instead of actually doing anything about it, hang about in the hope that the person in question gets the hint and then get arsey if their "intentions" are not reciprocated. Toxic.

    I should say, it's ok to fancy friends as long as you're both aware of it and no feelings are being hurt.


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    #55
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    dizzyniki wrote: »
    My boyfriend has no female friends.......and i mean none.... i find it weird,....however he is very convincing when he lists his reasons as to why he has no female friends.....
    basically theres no beatin around the bush here..... hes a chauvinist..........he could never understand that I had lots and lots of male friends and would always say that men have ulterior motives for wanting to be friends... ....of course i am not buying that every man is like that but thats his way and i accept it... after many arguments over it!!!!!!!

    I find it difficult to believe that femals don't have male friends....but i'm not suprised at all that some men don't seek friendship in females...........my boyf loves the time we spend together but will never go to a nightclub with me, nor take me to the gym or a football match because these are things that he does with his male friends and i'm perfectly ok with this!!!!!!!!!! he's pure odd like!!!
    And what does this make you :p


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    #56
    Dennis the Stone
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭Dennis the Stone


    Closest friend is a female, we live together too. We used to go out a few years ago. All my other friends (all male) are in different cities


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    #57
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,860 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    My only "girl mates" are my GF's friends, and my friends' GFs.
    I really need to learn to be friendlier...


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    #58
    weemcd
    Registered Users Posts: 6,420 ✭✭✭weemcd


    Creamy Goodness wrote: »
    ahh that's complete bollocks.

    i've a friend who's a girl, she loves good jokes i love good jokes, she loves everything i love i love everything she loves, she plays guitar i play guitar, she loves anime i love anime, drinks good beer i drink good beer and i've know her since i was about 7.

    i ain't attracted to her, i just see her as one of the lads with long hair and slightly bigger and more rounded man boobs.

    sounds like you love her


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    #59
    shqipshume
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,193 ✭✭✭shqipshume


    Hey guys thanks for replies :)
    Now i have another question if your friend who is a girl/guy insults your girl friend or boyfriend (and remember not a friend who has been around long at all) and your gf/bf has not done anything at all!
    What would you do?
    I am so not taking to this so called mate :(


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    #60
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    shqipshume wrote: »
    Hey guys thanks for replies :)
    Now i have another question if your friend who is a girl/guy insults your girl friend or boyfriend (and remember not a friend who has been around long at all) and your gf/bf has not done anything at all!
    What would you do?
    I am so not taking to this so called mate :(

    Not answering that but I do have an equally confusing question for you:

    If a train leaves Liverpool at 9.00am carrying two tonnes of coal and travels at 60 mph and another train leaves Leeds at 9.15am and is carrying three and a half tonnes of coal which train will reach London first and at what time?


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    #61
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,714 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    Not answering that but I do have an equally confusing question for you:

    If a train leaves Liverpool at 9.00am carrying two tonnes of coal and travels at 60 mph and another train leaves Leeds at 9.15am and is carrying three and a half tonnes of coal which train will reach London first and at what time?

    Sometime in the early 80s before Thatcher got to work.


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