How often do you fart?

TheTubes

random as in she can't control them, they just pop out and take her by surprise.

FlutterinBantam

Oh! Thank you for that.

That would be a rather embarrassing condition wouldn't it?

Most people have some control I would imagine.

itsjaybud

One of my friends nickname is Farts!! honest to god the man farts at least 60 times a week on average or so i hear!!:) he kinda gets a weird kick out of it doing it in front of us aswell..

Onikage

To you.

FlutterinBantam

A week!!!!

Fcuker is bound.

chasm

Ginny wrote: »

Ladies wind explosions smell of roses and lavander...

from a compost heap-Quoting my brother who just read this!

Lobelia Overhill

funniest. thread. ever.

we [in my family] call farting "feeding the ducks" as one of us used to, quite liderally there mate, make a quaking sound when they farted.

It wasn't me. I coined the phrase tho'

True story.

parp

Censorsh!t

A bit...but mostly silent, unless i'm laughing.
I've noticed, after eating Brie cheese, I fart loooads, and smells like brie too.
The shower is definitely the worst for it...its like a gas chamber in there.

FlutterinBantam

Lobelia Overhil wrote: »

funniest. thread. ever.

we [in my family] call farting "feeding the ducks" as one of us used to, quite liderally there mate, make a quaking sound when they farted.

It wasn't me. I coined the phrase tho'

True story.

parp

When I blow out the pipes Lobie, it's the fcukers beside me who quake.:cool:

Lobelia Overhill

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

When I blow out the pipes Lobie, it's the fcukers beside me who quake.:cool:

I go horse riding, one time the horse I was riding farted and everyone thought it was me :eek: so when I really did fart, I blamed the horse. :cool:

True story

Overblood

I fart a LOT.

A few years ago myself and mates were having a few drinks and one of them pulled a dictaphone out of his pocket (he found it in a park that day...) and farted into it. Then I said "gimmie a go" and let rip into it, then the next guy and next guy.... Eventually at the end of the night we had like a solid hour of non-stop farting action recorded onto tape. It was like a Bach piece, it was beautiful. Me hole was in ribbons after it. We brought it into school and attained legendary status.

I made a twelve second fart one morning (count to 12 in your head, that's a long fart...). I was in bed with a young one, didn't know her too well at that stage. We woke up and chatted for about an hour and fiddled around, you know yourself. But all that time I was holding in high-density guinness gas from the night before. She eventually got up and popped down to the shop. I looked out the window and made sure she was outside the house, then instantly POUNCED out of bed and grabbed my phone to record it. What came out was twelve seconds of extrememly compressed high-pressure fartage. Then I sent it on to my mates who also enjoy a good fart.

I used to hold my little brother down and fart directly into his mouth. Real thick smelly yokes, and he could taste it. It often nearly caused him to puke.

Have you ever tried to fart when also dying to take a shit? It's pretty nerve wrecking. It takes a long time to perfect the skill of bending a fart around your poo so that it comes out safely with no faecal matter attatched.

Please refer to this diagram: http://i434.photobucket.com/albums/qq63/arsefaceman/untitled.jpg

One thing I must do before I die is make a fart in a church, during a mass, and when it's all silent, like that bit where everybody kneels and prays. I'll be like " 'sup?? what are you all staring at? your god gave me the will to fart, so Im goin fart!!" It would be a serious ripper indeed especially with the hard wooden seats. To fart on a pew.

FlutterinBantam

This poster shows distinct promise.