How often do you fart?

Archeron

I know its an after hours question, but seriously, how often do you fart?

Not counting ones I do in my sleep (obviously) I would probably fart about 4 / 5 times a day. Usually quite quiet, but itif feels like there is power there, I'd retire to a private place so as not to annoy anyone. (unless I'm at mass)

Another guy I know farts roughly about every six minutes, guaranteed. These are serious air pockets, and they are consistent and plenty in number. I find it rather odd that someone can expel that much gas. Where does it come from?

So, what is normal, how often do you fart?

Banrion

LOL.
Sorry I cant help. Im a girl.

Abi

In this current economic climate, I fill celebration balloons in Hallmark. I used to manage a bank.

Snowie

do you smell your own farts ?

if your in bed, would you lift up the cover's and have a deep smell of your fart?

HarryPalmer

Depends on the booze and food intake, obviously. But I would average as often and as loudly as possible.

ladyella

Banrion wrote: »

LOL.
Sorry I cant help. Im a girl.

And obviously, girls dont fart

Berty

The smell of a womans fart is quite possibly the most offensive smell in the world.

Saibh

Banrion wrote: »

LOL.
Sorry I cant help. Im a girl.

You should have said I'm a lady, so I don't fart

Snowie

womens farts are the worst!!!

Kazu

the silent ones are deadly :D


pull my finger :D

galwayrush

I am getting better at it with age. Once managed to fart the length of my driveway ( 150 ft) while walking.Should have timed it. Most impressive and satisfying it was too.:cool:

Ginny

Ladies wind explosions smell of roses and lavander...

stepbar

I blew up a house in Blackrock today with my farts.

HarryPalmer

Berty wrote: »

The smell of a womans fart is quite possibly the most offensive smell in the world.

Indeed, which is why it is so much fun to introudce them to a dutch oven.

Banrion

Berty wrote: »

The smell of a womans fart is quite possibly the most offensive smell in the world.

Thats not very nice Berty.
I dont even like the word tbh.
I hope I win The late late show money......:eek:

Gummy Panda

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

womens farts are the worst!!!

I agree!

The truth behind women's farts

seanybiker

I have farted twice typing this sentence.

Saibh

Banrion wrote: »

Thats not very nice Berty.
I dont even like the word tbh.
I hope I win The late late show money......:eek:

If you don't like that word, wait till you read through some of the threads in AH...

HarryPalmer

seanybiker wrote: »

I have farted twice typing this sentence.

I almost shat myself reading your post. Smells good around here.

Captain Slow IRL

Depends on diet - can be only 1 or 2 or if I'm really lucky, it'll be consistently loud and full bodied all day.

Women's farts make baby Jesus cry:(

Serafina27

Berty wrote: »

The smell of a womans fart is quite possibly the most offensive smell in the world.

Scariest thing to have to happen in a packed pub: walk past the big guy with the guinness. No woman can produce that smell...........

6th

Banrion wrote: »

LOL.
Sorry I cant help. Im a girl.

Don't be silly. There a re no girls on the internet.

Anyway I'd say I throw out a good dozen during a waking day.

Abi

I have never, nor will I ever, fart around any man or woman.

Farts are preludes to no.2's. If you feel bubbly, make your way to the powder room.

Theres nothing sexy about a woman that lifts her leg and lets go- and if its a smelly one, get yo nasty self to a zoo.

HarryPalmer

Abigayle wrote: »

...make your way to the powder room.

WTF is a powder room? Are you American, or do you mean the crapper?

Banrion

The only time I ever smell other peoples (who are not members of my immediate family) is when Im in a pub.
I hate walking past a group of people and getting a bad smell and they all skulking guiltily behind their pints.

Captain Slow IRL

Abigayle wrote: »

Theres nothing sexy about a woman that lifts her leg and lets go

It's not supposed to be sexy - but it is funny:D

Archeron

galwayrush wrote: »

I am getting better at it with age. Once managed to fart the length of my driveway ( 150 ft) while walking.Should have timed it. Most impressive and satisfying it was too.:cool:

LOL, I had one of them recently, and I did time it. 78 seconds of solid parp!!

Snowie

no women can fart when they want to

SoupyNorman

Abigayle wrote: »

I have never, nor will I ever, fart around any man or woman.

Farts are preludes to no.2's. If you feel bubbly, make your way to the powder room.

Man translation....

"Get out of the way, I've a hefty sod of turf ready to let fly"



I fart alot, and whats more I do it with pride and relief.

Banrion

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

no women can fart when they want to

Why? Can you?

Snowie

Captain Slow IRL wrote: »

It's not supposed to be sexy - but it is funny:D

not as funny as a front bottem fart :D:D:D

Berty

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

not as funny as a front bottem fart :D:D:D

It only took 31 posts.

trout

this thread needs a poll

galwayrush

I never had a problem with a woman farting during foreplay, or even beforehand. Of course it's different afterwards.

HarryPalmer

bravestarr082 wrote: »

I fart alot, and whats more I do it with pride and relief.

Best way of getting to the bar, quickly.

Traditional

upto 15 times a day is supposed to be normal , after 20 you are supposed to seek medical advice

Snowie

Berty wrote: »

It only took 31 posts.

hey man its not my fault i thaught you have to behave your self on board's :eek:

galwayrush

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

not as funny as a front bottem fart :D:D:D

Merely called a love puff.;)
( beforehand of course.:D)

Kazu

Farts are preludes to no.2's. If you feel bubbly, make your way to the powder room.

Farts are preludes to no.2's. no there not certain foods cause gas and just because you fart doent mean your going to touch cloth if you know what i mean


if you feel bubbly lmao :D

HarryPalmer

Traditional wrote: »

...after 20 you are supposed to seek medical advice

No way! Is this fact or just something overheard in the pub? I could fart for Ireland.

Snowie

galwayrush wrote: »

Merely called a love puff.;)
( beforehand of course.:D)

I remember one night my x did that i laughed so hard i came
has any one evr farted while having sex and i dont me a love puff ?

galwayrush

Archeron wrote: »

LOL, I had one of them recently, and I did time it. 78 seconds of solid parp!!

Impressive indeed. Does anything feel better?:cool:

Abi

HarryPalmer wrote: »

WTF is a powder room? Are you American, or do you mean the crapper?

Yes, I believe I meant the crapper. Thanks for picking me up on it

Snowie

galwayrush wrote: »

Impressive indeed. Does anything feel better?:cool:

i dont beleave that dude man

HarryPalmer

Abigayle wrote: »

Yes, I believe I meant the crapper. Thanks for picking me up on it

My pleasure. A place to have a dump in is a place to have a dump in, no matter how it is "prettyfied".

Ostrom

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

do you smell your own farts ?

if your in bed, would you lift up the cover's and have a deep smell of your fart?

Hmm... The old 'trapper or flapper' debate

Archeron

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

i dont beleave that dude man

For real. and I was on the jax, so I got the full echo effect and all.

Gummy Panda

Is love puff a fanny fart or a regular fart during sex?

Ostrom

Archeron wrote: »

For real. and I was on the jax, so I got the full echo effect and all.

Surely there must be some way to harness the insight...

We have all seen the sh*t list, should there be a 'taxonomy of fart'?

Snowie

efla wrote: »

Hmm... The old 'trapper or flapper' debate

you do:D

Archeron wrote: »

For real. and I was on the jax, so I got the full echo effect and all.

im sorry if you had recoreded it ors oemthing then theres a possibility your saying you farted for 78 seconds likes thats a serous build up of gass's
at least yo to light it :eek:

HarryPalmer

Snow-Monkey wrote: »

at least yo to light it :eek:

Haven't lit a fart in years. Will do it tonight. Thanks for the reminder.