Do You Get Hang Overs?

jim o doom

If I only get just about drunk - I wake up before ten, regardless of what time I went ta bed & generally have zero hangover.

However if I start drinking early, drink all night to the next morning and then sleep - I'll generally be hungover for 2 or 3 days. Haven't done that since new years thank god. such a horrible feeling.

Kimia

Sorry if this is a bit long but it's hilarious!


The 7 Levels of Hangovers



1 star hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.


2 star hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun . The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP . There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.


3 star hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of diet coke -yet you haven't peed once.


4 star hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot; shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Grover Cleveland HS, class of 84.


5 star hangover,(*****)
aka "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell."

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the $hit fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were! with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house.


6 star hangover (******)
Otherwise known as the "Infinite Nut smacker"

You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from 5 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to getup before you. You try to lift your head. Not an option. Then you inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights...some jacka$$ handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it! was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop your forehead......the stamp on the back of your hand that has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers.
Yet drinking SEEMS like a good idea...


7 star hangover (*******)
AKA, "Nuked". You are slagged. You are soaked. You are saturated. You are near death.

The EMPs don't dare try the paddles on you because everyone within one square block may be killed by the explosion of ignited grain alcohol fumes from your pores. The atropine and methylphenidate they gave you through your sternum directly into your heart are theonly things keeping your hear beating. You can see the long tunnel with the light at the end, but someone down there is laughing their ass off at you. You realize you're going to live, if that's the word for it, through a mind-liquifying, soul-killing, disemboweling hangover, the likes of which will make medical history.

You bargain with God, swearing you will never drink alcohol again.

He replies, "Liar."

EdgarAllenPoo

I don't seem to get hangovers, just turned 23, I'm told that my recovery powers won't last much longer. I can spend the night out drinking any manner of things, not go to bed til about 4am and still be up by 7am fresh as a daisy while everyone around me (including people younger than me) are still hanging from the night before.

Get em almost every time I drink Can't go out on weeknights anymore because work the next day is hellacious! Not worth it.

Ann22

Mine have got progressively worse as i've gotten older. I find if I drink a pint of water for every few drinks (sometimes i'm too pssed to think of it, it helps if my oh is there to remind me) and if I try to drink non alcoholic drinks after midnight. Also I can heartily recommend Lifeline tablets. They've charcoal and vitamins in them. The charcoal absorbs the toxins in the alcohol and you pass it out of your body the next morning. You need to have a number 2 tho' to get the best results....and make sure you've air freshener in the bathroom:o.