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Pregnant girlfriend

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    #62
    Princessa
    Registered Users Posts: 581 ✭✭✭Princessa


    She's not going to have the abortion, trust me. Look she really needs you at the moment. Just for the next few weeks focus on being supportive, thats really your only job for the moment. She may be starting to feel sick and hormonal and all those wonderful things and you would be surprised how far a "How are you feeling" or a hug if shes upset will go. Id lay off on the its only a ball of cells comments, its very hurtful, and with all those crazy hormones flying around her its the last thing she needs. I hope ye two work it out. Good luck. :o


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    #63
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    *Honey* wrote: »
    I can only imagine that this is said by someone who's never had to suppor their wife or girlfriend though the utter devastation that is a miscarriage. If you ever had, you'd never have written these words.

    Actually it was written by someone who has just stopped bleeding after a miscarriage at 6 weeks, the same gestation as the OP's girlfriend. Mine was a planned and wanted pregnancy but nonetheless I accept that these things happen.

    Nobody has a monopoly on emotion so watch the jumping to conclusions there Honey; while for many people a miscarriage is devastating, for others it is a natural event of the body when something is not quite right. To the OP, sorry for the off-topic, the only reason I went into this was to say that the pregnancy will play out however it's meant to be, it's early days yet and you will have plenty of time to come to terms with what the future has in store.


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    #64
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    Unregistered wrote: »
    "You might get lucky and she has a miscarriage but you need to get used to the idea"



    Its very mean of you to say this, i doubt his girlfriend will see it as lucky and in fact prob only he will, your comment wasnt helpful, it was just mean.

    Yes. That's why I said *You*. I said it to emphasise the point that she won't be having an abortion and he needs to get used to the idea.


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    #65
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Sorry now, but when did contraception become a women's chore???

    I hear this story EVER DAY as part of my job and I just really REALLY don't understand it!!

    Like the figure for the pill actually working is with PROPER/PERFECT use, which loads of people dont really understand.....I blame people's ignorance and GP's lol
    For example if you are sick, it wont work,If taking herbal/other medicines, it will not work effectively, If your not absorbing it right, it wont work effectively etc! !!!
    With Typical Use (which is good average use) 5 in 100 Women will get pregnant
    With Perfect Use (Which is paranoia use)1 in 100 women will get pregnant

    MEN - So for God Sake If you Do NOT WANT A PREGNANCY please use YOUR OWN contraceptive!!!
    Also STI's are rampant...........................A combination of condom and pill are your only man! :)

    Sorry this doesn't really help OP but good luck
    Its all about talking.......You need to not only LISTEN but HEAR (And Vice Versa)


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    #66
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    To the OP: I think you should sit down and talk to your GF and find out what SHE plans to do for definite.
    You aren't ready to be a Dad yet but the fact is if your GF wants to have the baby then you have no choice in it TBH.
    It is really important that you don't rock the relationship with her to such a degree that if she has your baby she decides to cut you out of his/her life. Many a fella is paying maintenance for a child he never sees. This is your baby and you have to support this girl or risk regretting it all your life. She's scared and you saying you want her to abort or have the baby adopted will make her shut you out because she will try to protect the baby from the stress of you!
    I am sorry for you but you laid down with her and have joint responsibility.
    Lots of women are happy with abortion,adoption but some aren't.
    I have been in your GF's shoes, got pregnant on the pill and due to stress weeks later lost the baby.My BF at the time still feels sad about it all these years later but he never asked me to abort or get baby adopted or caused me to miscarry. We did split up but I do know he would've looked after his child.
    It's her choice and since you are Pro-choice( which you have the right to be)..let her have her choice.


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