The Off-Topic, insult, picture and everything else thread

ste88m · 29-12-2009 11:34pm

Took me a while to realise, but, why are the baton pockets still in the new trousers? It's a right pain when your phone/keys go down into the pocket.

Hooch · 29-12-2009 11:37pm

ste88m wrote: »

Took me a while to realise, but, why are the baton pockets still in the new trousers? It's a right pain when your phone/keys go down into the pocket.

Because....A - some of us still carry the old wodden one and B - Some are not trained in the ASP

ste88m · 30-12-2009 12:22am

nice guy always wrote: »

Because....A - some of us still carry the old wodden one and B - Some are not trained in the ASP

Well that's news to me. I tought everyone was trained in the ASP by now.

With regards to carrying the wooden truncheon, personally I wouldn't, because we're all trained and certified for 3 years on the ASP, and they'll stand over you (to an extent) if you use it.

ste88m · 30-12-2009 11:17pm

Only in the USA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAVYFRM5Tl8

ivabiggon · 30-12-2009 11:59pm

ste88m wrote: »

Only in the USA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAVYFRM5Tl8

not at all, it happens here in ireland to, i new a fella who shot himself in the leg in templemore while doing his weapons training along time ago, he was left handed and using a right handed holster and accidently shot himself, in the leg muscle.... got himself a nickname out of it too...:eek:

Hooch · 31-12-2009 4:23am

ste88m wrote: »

Well that's news to me. I tought everyone was trained in the ASP by now.

With regards to carrying the wooden truncheon, personally I wouldn't, because we're all trained and certified for 3 years on the ASP, and they'll stand over you (to an extent) if you use it.

Some older members never did the training.

On "standing over it" they have to stand over it. Any member out before 2-3 years ago got training in the wooden baton......no re certification needed. And its still in our little book of secrets;) Thay have to stand over a piece of equipment they issued.....and most certainly equipment they never re called.

Zuppy · 01-01-2010 3:26pm

Found this on an American EMT site. No translation needed. :-)

"Medical problems? Nah, I'm generally healthy."
Except for my hypertension, coronary artery disease, asthma, hypothyroidism, diabetes, demonic possession, bipolar disorder, and cooties. But I have medicine for all that stuff.

"I take my medicine just as the doctor prescribed it!"
I take my potassium supplements daily, but I only take my Lasix when my feet start to resemble sausages. And I still don't know why I'm having all this muscle weakness!

Between nodding off and snoring peacefully: "I'm in so much pain that I don't think I can make it to the stretcher by myself."
I've taken a month's supply of Soma, Lortab and Xanax in the last week, and I want to go to the ER to get my prescriptions refilled.

"I've already called my doctor. He's going to meet us at the ER."
I am a hypochondriac and my doctor, to his everlasting regret, doesn't have caller ID.

"I feel silly for calling y'all."
I'm 85 years old and I took a tumble while checking the mail, and my family browbeat me into calling 911. I mean, it's like they've never seen a bone poking through the skin before!

"This stretcher is uncomfortable! Why do you keep it so cold in the ambulance? Ow! Is this your first time to start an IV?! Does your partner normally drive so rough? I'm going to complain to your supervisor!"
There is absolutely nothing wrong with me that a good swift kick in the rear won't fix.

"He must have just coded!"
The ventilation system is really good here at Decubitus Manor. The smell of decay never even reaches the nurse's station!

"You're so much nicer than the crew that picked me up last week! What are your names again?"
I have early onset Alzheimer's, and I’m probably going to mix up the names so that you're the one I complain about, and the crew from hell will get all my praise.

"I'm a hard stick and my veins roll."
A phlebotomist gave me a bruise 15 years ago, and I'm going to say nasty things about you to your supervisor if you stick me more than once.

"So there I was, sitting there on the stoop, reading the Bible and drinking a wholesome glass of milk, when all of a sudden and for no reason, Sumdood just jumped me!"
I was dealing crack on Sumdood's corner, while wearing enemy gang colors, groping his girlfriend's boobs, and whizzing all over his brand new spinner rims. And the last thing I said before my epic butt-kicking was, "Yo, you got a problem wid dat, homey?"

Irish_polizei · 11-01-2010 12:00am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxdcX3qvGbo

FGR · 11-01-2010 3:52am

..I was wondering why they taught us to shepherd in Templemore.

Zambia · 13-01-2010 10:23pm

Lads Lads lads ....you cant trust those french tourists.

This is out there without my attempts ats facial blocking.

deadwood · 13-01-2010 10:51pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3n8tJmq_mQ

Ah, we've all done this.....haven't we?

Irish_polizei · 14-01-2010 3:07am

Irish_polizei · 14-01-2010 3:24am

ivabiggon · 14-01-2010 6:01pm

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/4/20100114/tuk-police-rapped-for-riot-shield-sledge-dba1618.html

well ye have to make the most of it don't ye!:D

DubMedic · 17-01-2010 7:45pm

Shocking night last night.. fcuk sake.

.

Irish_polizei · 17-01-2010 10:57pm

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ede_1263732989

donvito99 · 18-01-2010 5:54pm

Irish_polizei wrote: »

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ede_1263732989

Gotta love the Russian police...! lol

donvito99 · 19-01-2010 5:15pm

19-01-2010 6:19pm

donvito99 wrote: »

That'll teach him not to wear his hat.

Irish_polizei · 19-01-2010 8:00pm

donvito99 · 23-01-2010 6:56pm

Irish_polizei · 25-01-2010 4:13pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zeWmHAcLzM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m7F61mLb_k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkFt5O9RIZM

donvito99 · 26-01-2010 5:45pm

Irish_polizei wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zeWmHAcLzM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m7F61mLb_k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkFt5O9RIZM

Ta, Irish Polizei. Were all those from CrimeCall last Tuesday?

Irish_polizei · 26-01-2010 7:27pm

donvito99 wrote: »

Ta, Irish Polizei. Were all those from CrimeCall last Tuesday?

I honestly don't know what show they were made for, I found it on me routine flick through youtube :rolleyes:. Ye can PM the fella if you really wanted....:)

donvito99 · 26-01-2010 10:23pm

Irish_polizei wrote: »

I honestly don't know what show they were made for, I found it on me routine flick through youtube :rolleyes:. Ye can PM the fella if you really wanted....:)

nah, its ok. I sometimes do that to and never have I found anything such as that calibre before.

Irish_polizei · 26-01-2010 11:40pm

Just take it lightly...only a bita fun....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-hVee8yN9A

deadwood · 27-01-2010 4:26pm

joke

/

dʒoʊk/

Show Spelled Pronunciation [

johk]

Show IPA noun, verb, joked, jok⋅ing.
Use joke in a Sentence

See images of joke

Search joke on the Web

–noun 1.something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a prankish act: He tells very funny jokes. She played a joke on him. 2.something that is amusing or ridiculous, esp. because of being ludicrously inadequate or a sham; a thing, situation, or person laughed at rather than taken seriously; farce: Their pretense of generosity is a joke. An officer with no ability to command is a joke. 3.a matter that need not be taken very seriously; trifling matter: The loss was no joke. 4.something that does not present the expected challenge; something very easy: The test was a joke for the whole class. 5.practical joke.
–verb (used without object) 6.to speak or act in a playful or merry way: He was always joking with us. 7.to say something in fun or teasing rather than in earnest; be facetious: He didn't really mean it, he was only joking.
–verb (used with object) 8.to subject to jokes; make fun of; tease.9.to obtain by joking: The comedian joked coins from the audience.

Origin:
1660–70; < L jocus jest

Related forms:
jokeless, adjective
jok⋅ing⋅ly, adverb

Synonyms:
1. wisecrack, gag, jape, prank, quip, quirk, sally, raillery. Joke, jest refer to something said (or done) in sport, or to cause amusement. A joke is something said or done for the sake of exciting laughter; it may be raillery, a witty remark, or a prank or trick: to tell a joke. Jest, today a more formal word, nearly always refers to joking language and is more suggestive of scoffing or ridicule than is joke: to speak in jest.

Irish_polizei · 27-01-2010 4:56pm

deadwood wrote: »

joke

And the moral of that post was....:rolleyes:

CharlieCroker · 27-01-2010 5:00pm

Irish_polizei wrote: »

Just take it lightly...only a joke....

Jokes are usually funny??:p

Irish_polizei · 27-01-2010 5:09pm

CharlieCroker wrote: »

Jokes are usually funny??:p

I thought it was funny

donvito99 · 27-01-2010 8:26pm

CharlieCroker wrote:

Irish_polizei wrote:

Just take it lightly...only a joke....

Jokes are usually funny??:p

Did ya not like Your Bad Self?

28-01-2010 11:35am

donvito99 wrote: »

Did ya not like Your Bad Self?

It would be better if there was actually some comedy in it.

eroo · 28-01-2010 4:26pm

foreign wrote: »

It would be better if there was actually some comedy in it.

If only RTE thought the same.. I don't think RTE are capable of comedy: Katherine Lynch, Karl Spain or Dave MacSavage.. I'd prefer death!

donvito99 · 28-01-2010 5:03pm

The Panel was good, when it had Daz O Briain.

Irish_polizei · 28-01-2010 11:35pm

eroo wrote: »

If only RTE thought the same.. I don't think RTE are capable of comedy: Katherine Lynch, Karl Spain or Dave MacSavage.. I'd prefer death!

Ach Katherine Lynch is a laugh and half.....No??