Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married.....

Dragan

Okay, so at the tender age of 27 i have watched both my older brother and my older sister get married. Both did so in a Church. Now i am reasonably clear on both of their religious views and neither of them would really be down with the Risen Jesus.

I see friends get married in Churches who do not believe in God and haven't been to mass since Conformation.

At my sisters Wedding i was chatting away to the rents and informed them casually that should i ever end up married it will be done in a civil ceremony as i would feel like a liar and a sham for proclaiming my love in front of a God that i simply don't believe in.

So, why do people do it? Is it as simple as keeping the family happy or is it just covering your bases? I mean, you don't believe but He could exist, right?

MagicMarker

Conformity? Who knows, people are generally idiots.

My brother is getting married in December, as far as i know the ceremony is being held in the hotel we're staying in.. (i think, no one tells me anything!), if it's in a church though i'll probably have a chuckle to myself, considering they've had 3 kids out of wedlock and none of them are baptized. Heathens!!!

partyatmygaff

church for religious reasons because i believe in God and think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

c - 13

Some of it is to do with tradition and keeping the family happy. I'd say there are quite a few people out there who's parents/grandparents would disown them if they even thought about having it outside the church !

Other reasons would include those who have the dream of their big fantasy wedding. Fantasy doesn't really work out so well for them when they're getting married in a registry office instead of prancing down the aisle in their dream dress.

Yet another reason would possibly be the lack of known alternatives. I'm going to show my ignorance here but - Other than church weddings and registry office weddings what are the alternatives in Ireland ?

MagicMarker

partyatmygaff wrote: »

church for religious reasons because i believe in God and think atheism is just something that people think makes them cool

No, this makes me cool >>> :cool:

javaboy

Dragan wrote: »

I see friends get married in Churches who do not believe in God and haven't been to mass since Conformation.

Was that deliberate?

Malari

partyatmygaff wrote: »

church for religious reasons because i believe in God and think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

Damn, I think I've been missing out on some entitlements. Can you let me know what atheists can do that religious people can't?

Silenceisbliss

I know where ur comin from and to be honest id prob do the same. It's just tradition to get hitched in a church though.

I mean I dont believe in god in any way or form or any of these stories bout jesus, but I still do christmas aswell...

tradition is all it is, but like I said, I wouldnt have mine in a church either...

I only ever go to a church for funerals so, a church for me is a place of death

davyjose

partyatmygaff wrote: »

church for religious reasons because i believe in God and think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

Or....

Religion is something that people do to give them an excuse to be self-righteous.

brianthebard

Churchs' are generally prettier places to get married than a govt building.
Also, for the parents.

MagicMarker

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

I know where ur comin from and to be honest id prob do the same. It's just tradition to get hitched in a church though.

I mean I dont believe in god in any way or form or any of these stories bout jesus, but I still do christmas aswell...

tradition is all it is, but like I said, I wouldnt have mine in a church either...

I only ever go to a church for funerals so, a church for me is a place of death

Or sodomy?

Canis Lupus

Because we come from a catholic background where everything (media, life etc) portrays a wedding as something that occurs in a church (is the entire wedding notion a religious thing anyway).

Therefore when people want to get married it must be done in a church.

Personally I think it's a load of hypocrisy(both my brother and sister have married in a church and baptised their children as well despite not being religious).

After growing up and realising religion is a farce I no longer have nothing to do with the church, I won't be married in one and won't have a funeral in one etc etc.

Magic Pips

Dragan wrote: »

...at the tender age of 27...

Anyone else think he was older?

Anyway if i ever do come to get married, i'd first and foremost do whatever makes the missus happy, but my preference would be for an outside wedding.

I believe in God, but not so much the bible...

Didnt see an option that suited me, so i went with the atari!

Canis Lupus

Malari wrote: »

Damn, I think I've been missing out on some entitlements. Can you let me know what atheists can do that religious people can't?

Sex before marraige... No hold on.... they do that already.

I know. SIN!!! Nope, hold on again, they have that covered as well.

We atheists can't kill in the name of religion however so the next time a crusade comes along we won't be allowed to join in

Dragan

javaboy wrote: »

Was that deliberate?

Yes*

















*No, i just can't spell very well.:pac:

Dave!

No, I don't plan on it. Couldn't see myself marrying someone who would insist on a church marriage, either.

Kiera

Vegas, pick Cadillac and Elvis. I’m gonna try and do it as cheesy as I can. Feck all that white wedding crap, i aint no sheep :P

pseudonym1

Church vows are pretty cool imo Obey and serve sickness health till one of us kills each other etc
Yep- church in vagas for me

Nevyn

No option for religion is important but not intrested in getting married in a christain church ?

Nevyn

pseudonym1 wrote: »

Church vows are pretty cool imo Obey and serve sickness health till one of us kills each other etc
Yep- church in vagas for me

Obey is more often left out in modern vows.

davyjose

Thaedydal wrote: »

Obey is more often left out in modern vows.

That was my favourite one!!!!

Dragan

Thaedydal wrote: »

No option for religion is important but not intrested in getting married in a christain church ?

The pole doesn't make mention of any type of religion or god, justs uses the world Church because i couldn't be arsed typing all the other varieties of places people call their places of Worship.

Then again, i guess i could have used place of Worship.

pseudonym1

Magic Pips wrote: »

Anyone else think he was older?

Anyway if i ever do come to get married, i'd first and foremost do whatever makes the missus happy, but my preference would be for an outside wedding.

I believe in God, but not so much the bible...

Didnt see an option that suited me, so i went with the atari!

YA! shame was thinking if he looks as good as he sounds would ask him to marry me...in a church !:eek:

oleras

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Personally I think it's a load of hypocrisy(both my brother and sister have married in a church and baptised their children as well despite not being religious).

I am sure they done it for their children, do you realise how much it would hinder a child in primary school not being able to make their communion ?
How left out they would feel ?

Dyr

Mate of mine had a civil marriage recently, first time i attended one. Way better than the full-fat church wedding with some sky pilot playing the "simon says sit down, stand up, kneel" game for an hour.

Lets face it, most people opt for the church because bridezilla wants a PERFECT day or because its what the family (aka mammy) expects.

Nevyn

oleras wrote: »

I am sure they done it for their children, do you realise how much it would hinder a child in primary school not being able to make their communion ?
How left out they would feel ?

Both of mine managed just fine and were happy to be able to say they would get to choose their own religion when they are older.

Canis Lupus

oleras wrote: »

I am sure they done it for their children, do you realise how much it would hinder a child in primary school not being able to make their communion ?
How left out they would feel ?

Jeez... The poor kids.... Maybe it would help protect them against catholic indoctrination and allow them to think for themselves.

If a child ever has the misfortune of having me as a parent they won't be doing anything religious and I'll explain that all their friends are sheep.

Dragan

pseudonym1 wrote: »

YA! shame was thinking if he looks as good as he sounds would ask him to marry me...in a church !:eek:

I can be mature or immature. Its all swings and roundabouts with me.

Also, i am ugly.

And taken.

Dyr

Also explain that if they're friends arent going to church every sunday that they're hypocrites and their parents are lapsed catholics. :pac:

Mena

partyatmygaff wrote: »

church for religious reasons because i believe in God and think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

You don't really know what you're talking about and have not given any thought to the above have you

Anyway, on topic.

The OH and I would have preferred soaking our genitals in acid over a church wedding, so we did it out in the open, next to a huge swimming pool. "Vows" ended up being agreed in the water half-way through . Never trust a best man to not chuck you both into the water!

Was good, wet fun all the way through.

Dragan

Canis Lupus wrote: »

If a child ever has the misfortune of having me as a parent they won't be doing anything religious and I'll explain that all their friends are sheep.

I don't know dude, that is heading into Dawkins territory. At the end of the day i lived my life and came to my own decisions about things.

I would not hazard to try and guess as to whether that means i am possessed of decent logical thought or simply lacking in faith.

I'd leave the church decision up to the future hubby because I don't care.
But I'm not having meat at my wedding, because it is contrary to the esscense of my being, to celebrate my life with slaughter.

My mother claims she won't come.

Canis Lupus

Dragan wrote: »

I don't know dude, that is heading into Dawkins territory. At the end of the day i lived my life and came to my own decisions about things.

I would not hazard to try and guess as to whether that means i am possessed of decent logical thought or simply lacking in faith.

Ah I wouldn't force them to be atheists. That's just as bad as making kids in a classroom who don't know any better to put their hands together and pray to 'god in heaven' :rolleyes: .

All jokes aside I'd try to be as unbiased as possible, explain as much as I can about religion and differing views and let them decide.

Of course I never intend having children so hopefully I'll never have to do the above.

seamus

I'm getting married in a church. Herself believes in all that stuff, though she only goes to mass at Christmas and for yearly reminder thingies. She believes in all that "under the eyes of God" stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting married in a marquee with solid walls and fancy windows. The location is irrelevant, it's the act that's important.

Canis Lupus

seamus wrote: »

I'm getting married in a church. Herself believes in all that stuff, though she only goes to mass at Christmas and for yearly reminder thingies. She believes in all that "under the eyes of God" stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting married in a marquee with solid walls and fancy windows. The location is irrelevant, it's the act that's important.

But you'll be getting married in the catholic church in front of a priest and saying prayers etc.

It's almost not so much the location in that case. I'm not really articulating my point too well but it's like using a disabled parking space when not disabled.

seamus

Canis Lupus wrote: »

But you'll be getting married in the catholic church in front of a priest and saying prayers etc.

I'll be doing some meaningless archaic chants and rituals. That's how I see it. A bit like taking part in a tribal dance with some African nomads.

Canis Lupus

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I'm not really articulating my point too well but it's like using a disabled parking space when not disabled.

How so, how does it take from a catholic for a non-believer to get married in their church.
It is keeping your priest in a job isn't it.

pseudonym1

Dragan wrote: »

I can be mature or immature. Its all swings and roundabouts with me.

Also, i am ugly.

And taken.

Sniff sniff ~ had theme tune planned and all. . tut think I'll get over it in the consolation you are ugly

Canis Lupus

seamus wrote: »

I'll be doing some meaningless archaic chants and rituals. That's how I see it. A bit like taking part in a tribal dance with some African nomads.

But if you don't believe you shouldn't be there/be allowed to take part. Not really much else to add.....

Now I've really got to do some work.

Cookie_Monster

I would have no intention of getting married in a church. but the other half and the family will want to. *Sigh* religious fools:rolleyes:

Ginny

I do believe myself, and always thought I would get married in a Church, but have decided recently that I will be going down the civil route, and I couldn't give a toss what the family think, as it will be our Wedding day.

g'em

seamus wrote: »

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting married in a marquee with solid walls and fancy windows. The location is irrelevant, it's the act that's important.

What he said. Also, old, small churches are just aesthetically pleasing to me. I wouldn't push to get married in a church, but if my future husband wanted it that would be just fine with me.

Silenceisbliss

partyatmygaff wrote: »

think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

or you could word it as; not comforming to a mass beleif system...:)

oleras

Thaedydal wrote: »

Both of mine managed just fine and were happy to be able to say they would get to choose their own religion when they are older.

Do you mind me asking if both of your children went to a catholic school ? And if they did, did you exclude them from religion class ? And communion prep ?

Kold

I'm not religious but I'm aware that churches and cathedrals are amongst the most beautiful buildings around. Seriously, you get a feeling when you're in one.

Malari

Kold wrote: »

I'm not religious but I'm aware that churches and cathedrals are amongst the most beautiful buildings around. Seriously, you get a feeling when you're in one.

If you were allowed have a civil ceremony in a church that might solve some problems...just use it as a venue. Some of them are beautiful alright.

PurpleBerry

Beach in Maui (Hawaii).

Caliden

Fair play non-conformists. Enjoy getting married in a manky looking govt building

stovelid

I'm a non-believer but off the top of my head:

Churches look much nicer than the local registry office.

A lot of women prefer the church.

Something to be said for making your folks happy at the expense of little effort.

And if you really don't believe (and have no wish to prove it): it's easy to switch off view the church as just another, albeit prettier building with a weird bloke in a dress doing the honours.

Dragan

Caliden wrote: »

Fair play non-conformists. Enjoy getting married in a manky looking govt building

Personally it is nothing to do with being non-conformists. From my point of view i have had long and varied and sometimes heated discussions with my parents on my views about religion, the Catholic Church in particular.

I would see it as being insulting to them if i , as someone who simply does not believe in God, were to turn around and say "yes, i'll get married in the house of your God who, by the way, I simply do not believe in".

In a way, i also think my parents would be a little dissapointed in me if i did not stick by my guns on the issue.

The are more than happy to have their kids choose their own life and values once they have the courage of their convictions.

taibhse

Kold wrote: »

I'm not religious but I'm aware that churches and cathedrals are amongst the most beautiful buildings around. Seriously, you get a feeling when you're in one.

If that's the same "feeling" the priests get in the church when working with the alter boys im staying the hell away:pac:

Wouldn't get married in a church I just couldn't stand up there saying all those things "before god" without being a complete liar and also trying to keep a straight face. If I had kids wouldn't get them baptised either.

You don't have to just get married in a registry office anymore. I think you can get married at any venue but have to get approval off an inspector to make sure it is solemn enough?? You just can't get married outside