Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married.....

15-10-2008 02:48PM

I'd leave the church decision up to the future hubby because I don't care.
But I'm not having meat at my wedding, because it is contrary to the esscense of my being, to celebrate my life with slaughter.

My mother claims she won't come.

Canis Lupus · 15-10-2008 02:54PM

Dragan wrote: »

I don't know dude, that is heading into Dawkins territory. At the end of the day i lived my life and came to my own decisions about things.

I would not hazard to try and guess as to whether that means i am possessed of decent logical thought or simply lacking in faith.

Ah I wouldn't force them to be atheists. That's just as bad as making kids in a classroom who don't know any better to put their hands together and pray to 'god in heaven' :rolleyes: .

All jokes aside I'd try to be as unbiased as possible, explain as much as I can about religion and differing views and let them decide.

Of course I never intend having children so hopefully I'll never have to do the above.

seamus · 15-10-2008 02:56PM

I'm getting married in a church. Herself believes in all that stuff, though she only goes to mass at Christmas and for yearly reminder thingies. She believes in all that "under the eyes of God" stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting married in a marquee with solid walls and fancy windows. The location is irrelevant, it's the act that's important.

Canis Lupus · 15-10-2008 03:03PM

seamus wrote: »

I'm getting married in a church. Herself believes in all that stuff, though she only goes to mass at Christmas and for yearly reminder thingies. She believes in all that "under the eyes of God" stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting married in a marquee with solid walls and fancy windows. The location is irrelevant, it's the act that's important.

But you'll be getting married in the catholic church in front of a priest and saying prayers etc.

It's almost not so much the location in that case. I'm not really articulating my point too well but it's like using a disabled parking space when not disabled.

seamus · 15-10-2008 03:08PM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

But you'll be getting married in the catholic church in front of a priest and saying prayers etc.

I'll be doing some meaningless archaic chants and rituals. That's how I see it. A bit like taking part in a tribal dance with some African nomads.

15-10-2008 03:11PM

Canis Lupus wrote: »

I'm not really articulating my point too well but it's like using a disabled parking space when not disabled.

How so, how does it take from a catholic for a non-believer to get married in their church.
It is keeping your priest in a job isn't it.

pseudonym1 · 15-10-2008 03:11PM

Dragan wrote: »

I can be mature or immature. Its all swings and roundabouts with me.

Also, i am ugly.

And taken.

Sniff sniff ~ had theme tune planned and all.

. tut think I'll get over it in the consolation you are ugly

Canis Lupus · 15-10-2008 03:12PM

seamus wrote: »

I'll be doing some meaningless archaic chants and rituals. That's how I see it. A bit like taking part in a tribal dance with some African nomads.

But if you don't believe you shouldn't be there/be allowed to take part. Not really much else to add.....

Now I've really got to do some work.

Cookie_Monster · 15-10-2008 03:14PM

I would have no intention of getting married in a church. but the other half and the family will want to. *Sigh* religious fools:rolleyes:

Ginny · 15-10-2008 03:15PM

I do believe myself, and always thought I would get married in a Church, but have decided recently that I will be going down the civil route, and I couldn't give a toss what the family think, as it will be our Wedding day.

g'em · 15-10-2008 03:17PM

seamus wrote: »

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting married in a marquee with solid walls and fancy windows. The location is irrelevant, it's the act that's important.

What he said. Also, old, small churches are just aesthetically pleasing to me. I wouldn't push to get married in a church, but if my future husband wanted it that would be just fine with me.

Silenceisbliss · 15-10-2008 03:22PM

partyatmygaff wrote: »

think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

or you could word it as; not comforming to a mass beleif system...:)

oleras · 15-10-2008 03:26PM

Thaedydal wrote: »

Both of mine managed just fine and were happy to be able to say they would get to choose their own religion when they are older.

Do you mind me asking if both of your children went to a catholic school ? And if they did, did you exclude them from religion class ? And communion prep ?

Kold · 15-10-2008 03:42PM

I'm not religious but I'm aware that churches and cathedrals are amongst the most beautiful buildings around. Seriously, you get a feeling when you're in one.

Malari · 15-10-2008 03:50PM

Kold wrote: »

I'm not religious but I'm aware that churches and cathedrals are amongst the most beautiful buildings around. Seriously, you get a feeling when you're in one.

If you were allowed have a civil ceremony in a church that might solve some problems...just use it as a venue. Some of them are beautiful alright.

PurpleBerry · 15-10-2008 03:58PM

Beach in Maui (Hawaii).

Caliden · 15-10-2008 04:17PM

Fair play non-conformists. Enjoy getting married in a manky looking govt building

stovelid · 15-10-2008 04:25PM

I'm a non-believer but off the top of my head:

Churches look much nicer than the local registry office.

A lot of women prefer the church.

Something to be said for making your folks happy at the expense of little effort.

And if you really don't believe (and have no wish to prove it): it's easy to switch off view the church as just another, albeit prettier building with a weird bloke in a dress doing the honours.

Dragan · 15-10-2008 04:26PM

Caliden wrote: »

Fair play non-conformists. Enjoy getting married in a manky looking govt building

Personally it is nothing to do with being non-conformists. From my point of view i have had long and varied and sometimes heated discussions with my parents on my views about religion, the Catholic Church in particular.

I would see it as being insulting to them if i , as someone who simply does not believe in God, were to turn around and say "yes, i'll get married in the house of your God who, by the way, I simply do not believe in".

In a way, i also think my parents would be a little dissapointed in me if i did not stick by my guns on the issue.

The are more than happy to have their kids choose their own life and values once they have the courage of their convictions.

taibhse · 15-10-2008 04:42PM

Kold wrote: »

I'm not religious but I'm aware that churches and cathedrals are amongst the most beautiful buildings around. Seriously, you get a feeling when you're in one.

If that's the same "feeling" the priests get in the church when working with the alter boys im staying the hell away:pac:

Wouldn't get married in a church I just couldn't stand up there saying all those things "before god" without being a complete liar and also trying to keep a straight face. If I had kids wouldn't get them baptised either.

You don't have to just get married in a registry office anymore. I think you can get married at any venue but have to get approval off an inspector to make sure it is solemn enough?? You just can't get married outside

Ginny · 15-10-2008 04:43PM

Caliden wrote: »

Fair play non-conformists. Enjoy getting married in a manky looking govt building

There will be a lot of changes in trhe near future in regards to purpose built wedding venues, Hotels etc. obviously are just using functions rooms etc. but look at the UK, theree are hundreds of nice venues.
Plus here you can have a wedding in any venue that will allow you once, they have wheelchair access, and fixed roof, facilities for the guests, and theres some other constraints, but basically anywhere.
As for manky old Govt buildings? Some of the govt buildings are the oldest and nicest in Dublin.

Malari · 15-10-2008 04:49PM

Caliden wrote: »

Fair play non-conformists. Enjoy getting married in a manky looking govt building

This wouldn't bother me in the slightest. That would be the shortest part of the whole day - in, out, get on with the real deal, ie; celebrating with friends over a great meal in a favourite restaurant. And onwards to the honeymoon.

Summerjones · 15-10-2008 05:20PM

I believe in God, if I do get married it will be in a church.

Caliden · 15-10-2008 05:29PM

Dragan wrote: »

Personally it is nothing to do with being non-conformists. From my point of view i have had long and varied and sometimes heated discussions with my parents on my views about religion, the Catholic Church in particular.

I would see it as being insulting to them if i , as someone who simply does not believe in God, were to turn around and say "yes, i'll get married in the house of your God who, by the way, I simply do not believe in".

In a way, i also think my parents would be a little dissapointed in me if i did not stick by my guns on the issue.

The are more than happy to have their kids choose their own life and values once they have the courage of their convictions.

I dont believe in it either but I dont go rubbing it in my parent's faces. Out of respect for them I would get married in a church.
Maybe its just me but getting married in a registry office just seems tacky

Nightwish · 15-10-2008 05:35PM

There's no way I'd get married in a church, especially one I dont believe in. I especially wouldnt do it just for the sake of my parents. I want to get married for me, not for them.

My wedding will be a civil ceremony abroad, somewhere nice, with a handful of close family and friends.

tribulus · 15-10-2008 05:41PM

My girlfriend and I aren't bothered* about it being in a church. Thankfully she takes the same view as me about the ridiculous cost involved (as well as the same religous views) and would rather use the money saved from not having an extravagant ceremony to have a big party and great venue with family and friends.

* That is to say we'd rather have it somewhere else.

Numina · 15-10-2008 05:51PM

Big no to religion for me, but I'll get married in a church anyway, just for the momentous and lavish ceremony. It doesn't bother me that I have to participate in all that religious garbage, it'll just amuse me really, I'll be all like "Thanks for letting me use your church....suckersss...". And everybody else will probably want me to get married in a church anyway, so it's pretty much just a selfless act on my part for everyone else also.

BigAl>> · 15-10-2008 05:53PM

partyatmygaff wrote: »

church for religious reasons because i believe in God and think atheism is just something that people do to give them an excuse to do as they like

Statements like tht have been known to kick off long debates on religion

Oh and just to inform you:
Atheism, as an explicit position, can be either the affirmation of the non-existence of gods,or the rejection of theism. It is also defined more broadly as an absence of belief in deities, or none theism.
Many lf described atheists are sceptical of all supernatural beings and cite a lack of empirical evidence for the existence of deities. Others argue for atheism on philosophical, social or historical grounds. Although many self-described atheists tend toward secular philosophies such as humanism and naturalism, there is no one ideology or set of behaviors to which all atheists adhere; and some religions, such as Janisim and Buddhism, do not require belief in a personal god.

matrim · 15-10-2008 06:10PM

My girlfriend is religious and would want to get married in a church. For me, I'd perfer not to, but might consider it (I've still years to think on this as I don't plan on getting married anytime soon

)

The only thing is that I wouldn't lie about my beliefs. If a priest asked me I'd say I'm an atheist and doing it for my GF, And any vows I say should have the god part left out. If they don't like it, I could understand why, but wouldn't care.

If my GF really wanted some kind of church ceremony I'd rather a non church actual wedding and then some kind of private blessing ceremony separate to the wedding for her religious beliefs.

As an aside, what I find more annoying is people who blindly follow these kind of traditions to keep their parents happy. I was at a wake recently, where a Rosary was said. Before it happened there were about 15 people complaining about that it was going to happen, and most of them openly saying they had no religious beliefs but when it started only 5 people including myself didn't go to join in and stayed outside. The others despite not believing went in for it because of what people (i.e. parents) would say.
Then when it was over they all came out saying how stupid it was. If you think it's that stupid, then don't take part.

15-10-2008 06:25PM

matrim wrote: »

As an aside, what I find more annoying is people who blindly follow these kind of traditions to keep their parents happy. I was at a wake recently, where a Rosary was said. Before it happened there were about 15 people complaining about that it was going to happen, and most of them openly saying they had no religious beliefs but when it started only 5 people including myself didn't go to join in and stayed outside. The others despite not believing went in for it because of what people (i.e. parents) would say.
Then when it was over they all came out saying how stupid it was. If you think it's that stupid, then don't take part.

That an entirely different situation, these rituals are a language that allows you to convey your sympathy to those left behind.
Your opinion on them is irrelevant in this circumstance.
What is the point of being disrespectful at that time, I mean it wasn't like they were asking you to sacrifice a goat.

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married.....

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