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Engagement Ring

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    #62
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    Malari wrote: »
    And this wouldn't hurt his feelings? Taking things to the other extreme I think...

    weel, in fairness, it would never happen cos he has a bit more cope on


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    #63
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    I had it in work one day and one of the girls loved it! Its just not me though, I dont care if im a sheep, I like what I like. That is no longer the issue anyway because it has been changed now with his consent and needs to be paid for. I think we have a fair solution to this as well so hopefully all will be fine. I think things were a bit strained earlier today with us but ok now.

    I am far from materialistic. I would rather have a cubic zirconia ring that I loved rather than a real diamond that I didnt.

    OH friend got the ring in Israel so its a fair big chunk of gold! His heart was in the right place and I do know that.


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    #64
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    weel, in fairness, it would never happen cos he has a bit more cope on

    Depending on where you are in the world you could get a gorgeous ring for 400eu that could be worth 4 or 5 times it's value in the Irish market.

    So, is it how much was paid for the ring or is it how much it is worth?


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    #65
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    Dragan wrote: »
    Depending on where you are in the world you could get a gorgeous ring for 400eu that could be worth 4 or 5 times it's value in the Irish market.

    So, is it how much was paid for the ring or is it how much it is worth?

    Sorry, you misunderstood - i think €400 is far too much money to spend on a ring in the first place

    i would rather a ring that cost a fifty euros that could be replaced everytime it got lost or even one from a lucky bag cos it is all about the sentiment behind the ring not the cost or value of the ring


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    #66
    Dragan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,497 ✭✭✭✭Dragan


    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    Sorry, you misunderstood - i think €400 is far too much money to spend on a ring in the first place

    i would rather a ring that cost a fifty euros that could be replaced everytime it got lost or even one from a lucky bag cos it is all about the sentiment behind the ring not the cost or value of the ring

    LoL, cheers!

    Reading all these various opinions often means i get posts and posters confused! My bad. :o


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    #67
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    Dragan wrote: »
    LoL, cheers!

    Reading all these various opinions often means i get posts and posters confused! My bad. :o

    Its okay, you should know me by now though :p


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    #68
    shellyboo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    Sorry, you misunderstood - i think €400 is far too much money to spend on a ring in the first place

    i would rather a ring that cost a fifty euros that could be replaced everytime it got lost or even one from a lucky bag cos it is all about the sentiment behind the ring not the cost or value of the ring

    The "value" of the ring is what you bestow on it as a symbol of your love... which clearly isn't very much if you're going to be losing it every few weeks!!

    If and when I get engaged I'll be guarding that ring with my life, whether it cost 2 euro or 2000... that said, if my OH got his mate to pick it out I wouldn't be accepting it.


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    #69
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Shelflife wrote: »

    Imo his friend was asked to pick up a nice ring and overspent, then dp tried to save a few euros and say it was an engaement ring.

    Possible.


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    #70
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Shivers26 wrote: »
    He is the sweetest, most loving and generous people I know. I just think I hurt his feelings and he has reacted badly

    You don't really have a problem so :).Just pay for the upgrade yourself. If he doesn't like it suggest spliting the cost. As a gesture of partnership.


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    #71
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    I dont think thats what it was shelflife & Moonbaby

    I think in his mind you xyz if you spend a certain amount in Ireland (whetever budget you have set) but if you spend the same amount abroad you get xyz times 3!! He told his friend that the budget was €2000 but his friend spent 2000 Israeli shekels = €400 so it was just a miscommunication which would have been avoided if he had have picked the ring himself. Ah well, live and learn.

    I also dont plan to lose whatever ring ends up on my finger :)

    I just hate that something that should have been such a happy occassion has turned into this. :(


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    #72
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Zulu wrote: »

    So how much is ok to spend on a ring?
    <warning trick question>

    Obviously it is entirely dependant on the situation.

    However if a potential suitor didn't want to spend money that he could easily afford, because he saw no value in a ring.
    I would be peeved.
    I could forsee a lifetime of exacting "I don't see the value in bhp darling" style revenge.


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    #73
    Zulu
    Registered Users Posts: 10,965 ✭✭✭✭Zulu


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    However if a potential suitor didn't want to spend money that he could easily afford, because he saw no value in a ring.
    I would be peeved.
    Interesting. Although easily afford is a bit vague. I can afford my mortage, but I know you wouldn't expect a ring the value of a house. Can you clarify a bit please?
    I could forsee a lifetime of exacting "I don't see the value in bhp darling" style revenge.
    With his money? Or would you be buying this car?? Unless you are buying the car for him, the example is a poor one.


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    #74
    pseudonym1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,092 ✭✭✭pseudonym1


    Ye guys need to talk and sort out have an evening together and enjoy each others company. Tell him how ya feel and sort it out.
    If you love him you love him for the unique person he is and probably understand his actions.
    Maybe he is just as annoyed from a diffirent slant.

    Ye could have two engagment porposals from the man you love! Now that wouold be romantic


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    #75
    missmatty
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭missmatty


    Talk about going about things arseways :rolleyes:

    For the love of god, could he not have taken you to a jeweller and picked out a ring (within budget) together with you? So much less hassle and everyone's happy!

    A lot of guys don't seem to realise how important the ring is to a girl, and it's not about the money (with most of us). As someone said before, I'd rather have a 20 quid one that we picked out together and i loved rather than 5000 quids worth that i didn't.


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    #76
    John Mason
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 10,661 ✭✭✭✭John Mason


    shellyboo wrote: »
    The "value" of the ring is what you bestow on it as a symbol of your love... which clearly isn't very much if you're going to be losing it every few weeks!!

    i dont wear rings, as i usually lose them after a the first night out.

    tbh i find the whole engagement ring a ghey and 1700's


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    #77
    Honey-ec
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,844 ✭✭✭Honey-ec


    Shivers26 wrote: »
    I also dont plan to lose whatever ring ends up on my finger :)

    Well in fairness, I didn't "plan" to lose mine either, but sh¦t happens...


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    #78
    engrish?
    Registered Users Posts: 911 ✭✭✭engrish?


    Dudess wrote: »
    What's so amazing about that?


    I dunno, I'm 27 and it makes me panic a little.


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    #79
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Well it's rarer today than say 20 years ago for people to be engaged at 26 but it still happens a fair bit - by today's standards it's relatively early though so don't panic. :)

    I'm 30 and don't feel any compulsion to get engaged. Might feel differently in a year or two...


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    #80
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Zulu wrote: »
    Interesting. Although easily afford is a bit vague. I can afford my mortage, but I know you wouldn't expect a ring the value of a house. Can you clarify a bit please?

    With his money? Or would you be buying this car?? Unless you are buying the car for him, the example is a poor one.

    She should like the ring....if she wants one, you(ye) shouldn't need to get a loan.

    I assumed married people share the cost of the big car, but even if they don't. When your financial partners with someone, you don't buy big ticket items without them having a say.


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    #81
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    I dont think its that young to be engaged. I have 2 children and a mortgage and im only just gone 26 so I might as well just go for the whole hog :) I have friends younger than me who are married and some older than me who wouldnt have a notion of getting engaged. EAch to their own and all that
    I wouldnt be getting married in a big rush either. No way would I get into mad debt for a wedding.


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    #82
    Dudess
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    No it's not too young at all, it's just a bit more unusual now than it used to be...


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    #83
    Torres
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5 ✭Torres


    Dudess wrote: »
    Precisely. What about coming to some sort of arrangement with him where you both contribute towards the cost (seeing as the upgrade was your choice)?

    Wedding and engagement traditions baffle me - so the guy is supposed to pay for the cost of the woman's engagement ring in its entirety, yeah? Nuts!

    +1

    OP - what did you get him for the engagement?

    LOL when one of my friends GF told him how much he should spend on the ring (a lot) he asked her for a BMW for his engagement present. He never got the BMW, so she only got a ring quarter the price:D.


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    #84
    mollybird
    Registered Users Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭mollybird


    Honey-ec wrote: »
    Can you not pay for the "upgrade" yourself?

    I can see where he's coming from - he's already bought you a ring, you wanted to change it, he's thinking why the hell should he have to pay for that?

    At the end of the day, the ring is supposed to be a symbol of your intent to marry. To my mind, a €400 ring says that in much the same way as a €1,400 one.

    he didn't really "buy the ring" he didn't even pick it out himself. id be so hurt by that. id want my OH to pick out my ring.


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    #85
    She Devil
    Registered Users Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭She Devil


    Poor guy cant afford to pay for it :( if that was the case i'd pay for the upgrade ..... He bought what he could afford, i think you should pay for it yourself and now go be happy ... Congrats!


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    #86
    LolaDub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭LolaDub


    Janey people-read the thread!

    The op has said that her oh asked his friend to spend up to 2000 euro on the ring, the friend spent 2000 sheckles instead which is 400 euro. The op said enough times that its just the style of the ring she didn't like, nothing to do with the price. They went together to the jeweller and the oh was ok with the cost. Now its time to pick it up he said he won't pay for it. He said at the time he would use his bonus to pay for the upgrade. The cost of the ring plus the upgrade is less than the amount he originally budgeted for. The op is disappointed with his reaction to this and is wondering the best course of action.

    Her oh didn't even pick out the ring himself, it seems a bit impersonal to ask someone else to pick out an engagement ring for you imo. Op did he like the ring?


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    #87
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    For the millionth time - I would not and do not care what the ring costs - it was an aesthetic problem I had with it. It didnt look nice (to me) and I felt it didnt suit me.
    Apparently we are not 'officially' engaged but I got him a new car recently so that can be his engagement present :D

    She Devil - he can afford to pay for the ring, that is why I was so upset over his attitude this morning. Anyway, I think we have it sorted and I will contribute to paying for it myself. I wanted it changed so thats that.

    mollybird - that was my sentiment as well. I felt very little connection to the ring and all I could say to OH was 'you wouldnt have picked that ring'. His heart was in the right place - he was trying to surprise me.


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    #88
    Shivers26
    Closed Accounts Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Shivers26


    LolaDub - he was pretty indifferent to it tbh. If I had have loved it, then so would he I think. I did ask him what did he honestly think of it and he said its just a ring to him. I do know the ring he was trying to describe to his friend so its just a pity that he didnt get a picture or something for him.


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    #89
    LolaDub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,181 ✭✭✭LolaDub


    I think he might be more frustrated at the friend for fcuking up than you tbh...


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    #90
    Biro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,091 ✭✭✭Biro


    pink fluffy bunny wrote: »
    Sorry, you misunderstood - i think €400 is far too much money to spend on a ring in the first place

    i would rather a ring that cost a fifty euros that could be replaced everytime it got lost or even one from a lucky bag cos it is all about the sentiment behind the ring not the cost or value of the ring

    I'd come to the conclusion that you gave f**k all about the sentiment if you lost it every few weeks.


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    #91
    Biro
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,091 ✭✭✭Biro


    LolaDub wrote: »
    Janey people-read the thread!

    The op has said that her oh asked his friend to spend up to 2000 euro on the ring, the friend spent 2000 sheckles instead which is 400 euro. The op said enough times that its just the style of the ring she didn't like, nothing to do with the price. They went together to the jeweller and the oh was ok with the cost. Now its time to pick it up he said he won't pay for it. He said at the time he would use his bonus to pay for the upgrade. The cost of the ring plus the upgrade is less than the amount he originally budgeted for. The op is disappointed with his reaction to this and is wondering the best course of action.

    Her oh didn't even pick out the ring himself, it seems a bit impersonal to ask someone else to pick out an engagement ring for you imo. Op did he like the ring?

    Based on that synopsis, then it's clear that he's being a jessie about it. Tell him stop being a girl and get on with getting the ring issue sorted. His heart might have been in the right place for sure, and it sounds like it was (despite not going to the effort of picking the ring), but it went pear shaped on him. The result wasn't what was in his specification, that was BEFORE he gave it to you. When you weren't happy with the appearence (which he should have anticipated) then he was further upset, but I'd be unhappy with the situation gone wrong rather than being hurt with your reaction.
    He needs to bite the bullit, accept the failure, and rectify it.


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