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Q.1 -Why dont women approach men theyre attracted to? + Other enquiries

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13

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    #62
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    Lol, if the man looked like Clint Eastwood then it sure wouldn't!


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    #63
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The Comfortable Chair wrote: »
    And has been pointed out girls would be more drawn towards more confident outgoing guys which is fair enough

    I don't think that is always true....it was actually a revelation to me.
    I'd would actually be put off by a loud life and soul type.


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    #64
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Lol, if the man looked like Clint Eastwood then it sure wouldn't!

    Really? I thought my fondness for Clint was bordering on perversion. :D


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    #65
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I don't think that is always true....it was actually a revelation to me.
    I'd would actually be put off by a loud life and soul type.

    I was dumped for the loud life and soul type

    But I am not bitter :D


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    #66
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The Comfortable Chair wrote: »
    I was dumped for the loud life and soul type

    But I am not a biter :D

    More fool you. :P


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    #67
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I don't think that is always true....it was actually a revelation to me.
    I'd would actually be put off by a loud life and soul type.

    What does this mean "soul", like a soulful guy or a passionate guy?

    Clint is the hotness, and so is Hugh Jackman for looking like a younger version!


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    #68
    The Recliner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,630 ✭✭✭The Recliner


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    More fool you. :P

    LoL had to reread my own post :D

    I do that sort of thing on request :p


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    #69
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    PillyPen wrote: »
    What does this mean "soul", like a soulful guy or a passionate guy?

    Clint is the hotness, and so is Hugh Jackman for looking like a younger version!

    "The life and soul of the party" is the most animated outgoing jokey guy.

    Yomg! You have great taste in pin ups....off to the drool thread with you!


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    #70
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Whoa, I said I DO approach men. And IF I didn't, that'd be why. It's like you said, everyone is insecure a bit, but I don't let it stop me. Jaysus. And the only case under which I wouldn't approach a man is if he hasn't looked at me once. Tbh, I think it would be creepy to go up to a guy who didn't even know you were in the room until just that moment. No one's putting anything on guys here.

    That was actually directed at the person before you but you replied to quickly for me. Several women on the thread have said that they would prefer to have the man do the asking though in fairness. Also, isn't it a bit much to expect the guy you like to see you, unless ye are in close proximity? How would you even know? Far better to go up to the bar when he does and say hello to put yourself on his radar, then go back to his friends and see if he looks at you.


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    #71
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    brianthebard wrote: »
    That was actually directed at the person before you but you replied to quickly for me. Several women on the thread have said that they would prefer to have the man do the asking though in fairness. Also, isn't it a bit much to expect the guy you like to see you, unless ye are in close proximity? How would you even know? Far better to go up to the bar when he does and say hello to put yourself on his radar, then go back to his friends and see if he looks at you.

    Ah, I thought you were talking to me since you were mocking my "subtlety" crap. :p If we weren't in close proximity, I doubt I'd see him either though. This is all sooo situational. It's like "in a hypothetical club, with a hypothetical guy, what would I hypothetically do"? I don't know. Normally I'm not uncomfortable talking to a guy, but I do like to read signals first if possible. Simple as.


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    #72
    Curlypinkie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 375 ✭✭Curlypinkie


    brianthebard wrote: »
    That was actually directed at the person before you but you replied to quickly for me. Several women on the thread have said that they would prefer to have the man do the asking though in fairness. Also, isn't it a bit much to expect the guy you like to see you, unless ye are in close proximity? How would you even know? Far better to go up to the bar when he does and say hello to put yourself on his radar, then go back to his friends and see if he looks at you.


    And a lot of Irish guys seem to find it cool that the girl does the attention/asking/starting to chat.
    I am actually really surprised at that. Happy and relieved as well I must say.
    *shoo shyness, shoo!*


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    #73
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    "The life and soul of the party" is the most animated outgoing jokey guy.

    Yomg! You have great taste in pin ups....off to the drool thread with you!

    Oh, I've heard that expression, I just didn't put two and two together. My mind is fried with preparation for leaving!

    Off to put up some Hugh Jackman deliciousness...


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    #74
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Curlypinkie wrote: »
    And a lot of Irish guys seem to find it cool that the girl does the attention/asking/starting to chat.
    I am actually really surprised at that. Happy and relieved as well I must say.
    *shoo shyness, shoo!*

    Mammies boys appreciate women who take charge. Beware.


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    #75
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Ah, I thought you were talking to me since you were mocking my "subtlety" crap. :p If we weren't in close proximity, I doubt I'd see him either though. This is all sooo situational. It's like "in a hypothetical club, with a hypothetical guy, what would I hypothetically do"? I don't know. Normally I'm not uncomfortable talking to a guy, but I do like to read signals first if possible. Simple as.

    lolz I'll stop mocking it so. I agree about the signals, but you are leaving a lot up to chance. Why not initiate a situation which may result in signals, like I said, say hello when you meet him at the bar. Gives you a few minutes of idle chat where you can smile, but you don't have to stay too long. You are now on his radar. If he then thinks to himself she was nice I should go talk to her, he'll either head over, or be giving you "signals".job done imo.


    Curlypinkie wrote: »
    And a lot of Irish guys seem to find it cool that the girl does the attention/asking/starting to chat.
    I am actually really surprised at that. Happy and relieved as well I must say.
    *shoo shyness, shoo!*

    Strangely it can be a bit weird at first. The first couple of times girls hit on me I felt like I was back in secondary school and they were trying to pull the piss. After getting over that it was fine. There are very few people who would be upset about being given attention tbh.


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    #76
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Mammies boys appreciate women who take charge. Beware.
    True, be afraid, be very afraid in that case. Of course...... it could mean he's a lazy bugger and just doesn't want the work involved that goes with "chatting up".:D

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #77
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    PillyPen wrote: »
    Clint is the hotness, and so is Hugh Jackman for looking like a younger version!

    Clint no, really no, as for Mr Jackman gods yes.
    PillyPen wrote: »
    Off to put up some Hugh Jackman deliciousness...

    stalks...


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    #78
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    brianthebard wrote: »
    lolz I'll stop mocking it so. I agree about the signals, but you are leaving a lot up to chance. Why not initiate a situation which may result in signals, like I said, say hello when you meet him at the bar. Gives you a few minutes of idle chat where you can smile, but you don't have to stay too long. You are now on his radar. If he then thinks to himself she was nice I should go talk to her, he'll either head over, or be giving you "signals".job done imo.

    I would do that, and have done it, but very casually. Probably in Ireland I'll do it more because I'll have the advantage of being a foreigner. So when I do strange things people will say "Oh those Americans" instead of "Oh that Pilly Pen! :D


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    #79
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    PillyPen wrote: »
    I would do that, and have done it, but very casually. Probably in Ireland I'll do it more because I'll have the advantage of being a foreigner. So when I do strange things people will say "Oh those Americans" instead of "Oh that Pilly Pen! :D

    Good stuff. I look forward to you scoring me at the next beers.;)


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    #80
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    brianthebard wrote: »
    Good stuff. I look forward to you scoring me at the next beers.;)

    Ha, well I'm not taking my flashing neon sign to Ireland with me, so I doubt you'll pick up on my subtle hints. :p


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    #81
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    Shot down, and on the internet at that! I need to work on this...


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    #82
    LolaLuv
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,496 ✭✭✭LolaLuv


    brianthebard wrote: »
    Shot down, and on the internet at that! I need to work on this...

    I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me!


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    #83
    brianthebard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,165 ✭✭✭✭brianthebard


    Well I'll be washing my hair that day anyways so...yeah.


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    #84
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,231 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Pen1987 wrote: »
    Question One: As thread title.
    I mean, there has to be a variety of reasons. I'll list a few theories why I'd think a women may not approach to start with...

    You forget the free drink "theory?" Ha!
    Pen1987 wrote:
    Question Two:

    What makes you notice a man and be attracted to him when youre out?
    Sure, I would notice someone handsome, physically fit (including nonsmoker and non-drunk), relaxed, creative, and playful, but normally don't do the pub or club scene unless on a date. Chat with lads in all sorts of places, sometimes starting the conversation, but typically not those considered pick-up spots or meat markets which I tend to avoid. Coffeehouses with an atmosphere are grand places to meet, especially if there's a group with a lively discussion going on about something of interest to me (and you don't have to buy me a java... ha!).


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    #85
    Star Lord
    Registered Users Posts: 30,123 ✭✭✭✭Star Lord


    The Comfortable Chair wrote: »
    But being that bit shy and not thinking that a girl would be interested I would tend to chat to girls more than chat them up which would explain how I end up with many more girl friends than girlfriends

    Been there for many a long (lonely) year... got me a keeper now though so just being yourself does pay off eventually! :)

    Also, Hi Blue! :)


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    #86
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,231 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    DamoElDiablo wrote: »
    Also, Hi Blue! :)
    Hi Dub Teddy Bare!


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    #87
    Pen1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭Pen1987


    MJOR wrote: »
    I suppose while I am not gods gift lol i am a good laugh and am spoken for now too which gives you a certain aura or glow maybe i don't know

    You actually do have a glow, its a thing called pre-selection that people omit subconciously - supoosedly to do with you having the confidence deep dwon that someone wants you, so you add value to yourself in social situations and others subconciously realise this and are thus attracted to you... its like - if someone else wants her she must be a catch, so I want her too. Possibly why some men and women are strangely attracted to married people.

    This discussion got more interesting in my absence. PillyPen I'd love to hear what the dating-rules are when youre in the states and compare it to here... Youre in bar in the US, what happens - do guys just overtly come over and ask you out sometime or what? I've never seen that happen here but its hilariously common in the US films! :L


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    #88
    bennyblanco
    Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭bennyblanco


    Liking this thread,the pre-selection thing is a killer.
    The minute you break up with the person you turn into a leper....some dose:confused:


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    #89
    Creachadóir
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation Posts: 206 ✭✭Creachadóir


    I have approached guys in the past, and ended up going out with them. However, the best relationships that I've had involved the guy approaching me. I kinda think that the times where I approached them that they thought that from word go that I was really into them, and that they didn't have to make an effort.

    I'm all for making an effort if there's a guy out with our group that I fancy. I'm pretty confident in my own pulling power :D However, I much prefer if they make the moves cos I think guys often will go along with a girl trying it on with them even if they don't massively fancy her...just cos they're men. Whereas at least if they're the ones making the effort you kinda know they fancy you!


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    #90
    citeal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭citeal


    I don't make the move on guys and its nothing to do with insecurity, I just believe that most men won't turn down an offer if a) the girl is reasonably attractive and b) he is single.

    Therefore me making a move on a guy & not being knocked back does not necessarily mean the bloke likes me at all. There is every chance i'll end up used & discarded. We all know a girl who is just that bit too available / forward & never gets called back even though she scores regularly & everyone agrees she is lovely / attractive / sexy blah blah.

    Having said that I'm extremely friendly & flirtatious, i'd just never approach a guy or make the first move.

    I know its old-fashioned, but I just think guys like the chase (even when they claim they don't).

    And I enjoy a man who is both confident and into me.


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    #91
    Pen1987
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭Pen1987


    Friendly and flirtatious is the best way to be. I'm your male mirror here. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, giving the wrong signals etc...


    WOMEN: WHY... why, when there is something wrong, when youre upset about something or pissed off at us men.. when we ask 'is everything ok?'... 'are you ok?'... 'are you annoyed at something?'... You reply with 'fine' or 'yes' or 'No. Nothing'... and then give us the cold shoulder, what goes through your head to make you think this make any sense? I mean youre supposed to be the emotive, expressive sex, just tell us!


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