What evil things did you do as a kid?

Archeron

Now I don't mean evil in a hellish way, but in an "evil kid" kind of way.
I think most of us have done things as kids that make you think now of what a little fecker you were, and most of us regularly see kids that really should carry pitchforks. So what were your defining moments of kiddie evil?
I wasn't an evil kid generally, but one or two things I did still don't make sense to me even today.

When I was about 5, for no reason whatsoever, I blocked up a sink outlet in a chip shop/cafe place, left on the taps, and then strolled back out to eat my meal with my family. I sat there all innocent as a wave of water came flowing out of the bathroom after a few minutes and gradually enveloped the whole floor. I didn't do that maliciously, I think I just wondered what would happen if the sink blocked, so I tested it out.

On another occasion, about 8 years old, I picked up a massive steelie (one of those ones that was stolen from a bumper car) that a friend had rolled to me, and for no reason at all, threw it straight through a school window. It was a fine smash noise I must admit. My poor friend never got that steelie back, and he was so proud of it.

What about you? Any evil childhood deeds you need to confess to?

(not bullying others or hurting people/animals of course, cause that stuff just sucks)

PurpleBerry

This one time, this kid I didn't like, I chopped up his parents into chilli and fed them to him.

Oh no wait, that was Cartman.

Next!

taidghbaby

my cousin was jumping over a tennis net one day, and i pulled it up!
she fell over the net and broke her elbow......ive never told anyone i did it either

LeixlipRed

Neesa wrote: »

This one time, this kid I didn't like, I chopped up his parents into chilli and fed them to him.

Oh no wait, that was Cartman.

Next!

What an episode. Radiohead's greatest moment

I once took unscrewed the tire cap from my next door neighbours bike and threw it in a drain for absolutely no reason. And she grew up to be so hot so I always regretted it :P

Silenceisbliss

haha, brilliant.

when I was around 10, my cousin (8 at the time) was using my brand new super soaker against my will playing "fireman", I was having none of this and kicked him. as a punishment, my mum said I wasnt allowed to use it for the whole time my cousin was here and that he was the only one allowed to use it.:mad:

anywho, I was burning the rubbish (trying to keep it lit) but the little spanner kept sprayin water on it. so when empty, i ofered to fill it up for him..

****goes to shed where lawnmower is, fills up bottle full of petrol ****

dont regret it at all....his face when a stream of fire came shooting towards him... priceless:cool:

markos79

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

haha, brilliant.

when I was around 10, my cousin (8 at the time) was using my brand new super soaker against my will playing "fireman", I was having none of this and kicked him. as a punishment, my mum said I wasnt allowed to use it for the whole time my cousin was here and that he was the only one allowed to use it.:mad:

anywho, I was burning the rubbish (trying to keep it lit) but the little spanner kept sprayin water on it. so when empty, i ofered to fill it up for him..

****goes to shed where lawnmower is, fills up bottle full of petrol ****

dont regret it at all....his face when a stream of fire came shooting towards him... priceless:cool:

LMFAO:D

have a nice time in hell!!

Alicat

I was only mean to my little brother.....but aren't you supposed to be mean to little brothers??

When he was little, about 4, and used to play outside our house, he always left it to the last minute to decide he needed to go to the loo. Then he'd come bombing it down the road, hammering on the door and dancing on the doormat.

Me (about 7/8), being inside the house and slightly bitchy, used to go slowly towards the glass front door, and say "Sorry, what? I can't hear you, sorry? Hello?". Poor little fecker dancing the mat dying to pee. I normally let him in after a minute or so, but this time I kept it going just a little bit too long and the little fella ended up wetting himself all over the doormat

Another time, I put him in the laundry basket and rolled him down the stairs!

Cruelest of all though was that I used to put him in my old dresses and tie his hair in scrunchies

minidazzler

Silenceisbliss, Now that is Sadistic Evil!!!

Not my evil story but I am involved.

When me and my cousin were around 8/9 we were playing real life hang man.

I was going to be the victim and when I didn't get the word right she kicked the crate I was standing on. I was hanging for a good 25 seconds before my mam rushed out and saved me!!! I nearly died!!!

I have never forgiven the bitch!!!

mumhaabu

On the blocked sink one, me and the rest of our evil gang stuffed tissues into a sink and turned the tap on full in our classroom around 3.00ish after the principal had left, the cleaners didn't come in the evening as we knew, anyway nobody checked the room before lock up as we knew again (it was premeditated).

Cue Monday morning a flood of water upon opening the door, classes in a spare room for a few days plus dehumidifiers and new carpet it was priceless. I was around 12 in 6th class and they knew we did it yet couldn't really prove it, so they tried to get other students to tell on us by doing an anonymous "write who did it" and place in the box type of vote. Naturally we all voted for one kid although he was told off he didn't get the blame. We essentially got away with it and did more havoc as the end of our primary school days came nearer. The joys of growing up in ireland! :eek:

Run_to_da_hills

My father used to have an oxy acetylene plant in a workshop at the side of the house, Myself and a few mates would fill up balloons with this stuff coming up to Halloween and set them off around the place, when ignited with a long fuse it would make such an explosion that it would set off burglar and car alarms along the road and also have people coming out on to the streets to see what happened. We would be gone before the cops would have arrived

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Hmm....the evilest thing I did I can't remember, but people bring it up a lot :P when I was about three, there was some kind of family hootenany going on down in Limerick (always a recipe for trouble anyway), so myself and my sister and a clatter of other cousins were staying at my granny's house. Myself and one of the cousins who's about 5 years older than me got sent outside to play swingball. About a half hour later I come in, cackling, my mother goes "Where's Simon?" and gets a cackle in reply so she goes out to check and he's fully passed out on the lawn. They reckon I must have just decked him with the swingball racket.
An aunt of mine is phobic of butterflies, so I used to run into the kitchen when she was there with my hands cupped and go "Look what I caught in the garden!"
I was pretty horrible to my siblings too but I typed all that yesterdayand I'm lazy

Firetrap

My dad used to manage a farm that had a really big tank where they stored the slurry before they put it into spreaders to spray it all over the fields. Anyway, one day my mum called in to see him and I was at a loose end. To amuse myself, I decided to see what exactly giant rocks looked like as they were chucked into giant vats of slurry. I heard later that these rocks caused hundreds of pounds worth of damage to the tank and the machinery.

Also, I had tadpoles but after a while decided that I didn't want them to grow into frogs after all. So I killed them by pouring bleach into the bowl where they were living.

NotMe

When I was in first class I picked up a conker from the nature table and bounced it off another kids head. The teacher called me outside the class and I started crying.
That's my first evil memory!

taidghbaby wrote:

my cousin was jumping over a tennis net one day, and i pulled it up!
she fell over the net and broke her elbow......ive never told anyone i did it either

haha, similar to this: My brother was swinging on the clothes line and I pulled the end of it and he went head over heels and smashed his chin into the ground. He ended up in hospital with a huge swollen jaw and we called him "redchin" for at least a year afterwards.

Quality

I used to put the pet rabbits into plastic bags and swing them around so that they were in there own little merry go round..

The bag used to be filled with piss and **** because they were so scared.. At the time, I thought they were enjoying it... until my sister caught me doing it, and bate the head off me...

AckwelFoley

I used to put my finger inside my neighbors dog when i was 10.

15 years later i put it inside my neighbours daughter.

AckwelFoley

Mr.S wrote: »

did you wash the finger?

no, its lile my personal "snuff box" (pardon the pun) that i steal a sneaky sniffle of when im stressed.

randylonghorn

taidghbaby wrote: »

my cousin was jumping over a tennis net one day, and i pulled it up!
she fell over the net and broke her elbow......

Did that ... he didn't break his elbow!


Wasn't very evil as a kid, that clicked in around puberty ... :pac:

We took a visitor (American / full of it) swimming with us to a small remote beach one day, skipped off with his clothes and left him there, causing him to miss the date he had spent a week angling for with a girl I fancied. He eventually made it home ...


A favourite trick for a while was putting a teaspoon of liquid soap in a condom and planting it on some poor sucker. Mate of ours reached finto his jacket pocket for his wallet in the chipper and pulled one out. It dropped on the floor with everyone staring at it, he didn't cop on for ages, couldn't figure out why everyone was giggling and pointing!

Oh, we planted a couple in the girls' loo at school too, that caused pandemonium ...

barnacle

snyper wrote: »

I used to put my finger inside my neighbors dog when i was 10.

I'm not even surprised.

I managed to incite a riot on a field trip in baby infants and earn slaps for everyone in the class.
They cried a river that day.

I was caught trying to dispose of my youngest sister after she same home from the hospital.

I systemically destroyed every house I entered. I took a screw driver to every screw in my mothers friends house one day.
I never had a babysitter for longer than three months.

My grandad used to catalogue the time for propersity in a press.
I was obsessed with getting into the press and tossing everything in the air. To get a reaction from him.
Every single week, I would rampage through his house looking for the key to his press. Every week I found it and he went bananas.
I can remember laughing my head off in the middle of flurry of papers, I would have been 18-24 months.

I used to blackmail adults into doing my homework for me, then vehemently lie when they did it too good and the teacher caught me out.

I used to get people to sign contracts and hold my teddy ransom if I wanted to blackmail them.

I liked fires.

There was an unfortunate cat incident.

I convinced the other kids to reverse everything in the classroom when the teacher left for a minute. I stole her car keys and refused to give them back.

Thats what I can remember up to senior infants.


Special mention to actually bodily harm at about age 7-8.

My cousin is an arsehole, he really used to piss me off when we were little. One day I saw an opportunity and I shoved him down a mountainous path. He ended up with 32 stitchs but didn't tell. He may have been concussed.


I don't think I need go on.....one day I will have children and I'll know the irony that is karma.

KnifeWRENCH

When my sister used piss me off, I sometimes went and scratched one of her CD's with a compass.

Prof.Badass

1. Stole teachers box of sweets and "distributed" them round the class.
2.Stole a duster every few days for a peroid of a few weeks.
3.while competing in a drama competetion in another school we were given a classroom to change in. I proceeded to vandalise a stack of copies by writing "sex","****" and drawing genitallia (of both sexes) on them (they were only 1st class i think).
4.When in an office I poured an entire bottle of water into a box of outgoing mail.

Pity i can't say what i did in secondary school, That list's way more intesting!

JerryHandbag

I hit my brother on the head with a golf ball...an accident, but it was such an accurate shot that I pretended that I meant it And I did mean it*

He's fine now....lickin windows for the county council

*may not be true

staker

Got my younger neighbour to wee on an electric fence wire. It was on.:)

I used to rig metal objects....like other peoples bikes with the electric fence.

Firetrap

staker wrote: »

Got my younger neighbour to wee on an electric fence wire. It was on.:)

That's a mistake nobody makes a second time

eVeNtInE

This post has been deleted.

stevecrow74

Archeron wrote: »

(not bullying others or hurting people/animals of course, cause that stuff just sucks)

oh well... no stories from me so :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Zolderzzzzz

I inadvertently set fire to my mother.

KJ_2008

Zolderzzzzz wrote: »

I inadvertently set fire to my mother.

Was the funeral well attended?

mumhaabu

Moonbaby wrote: »

I used to rig metal objects....like other peoples bikes with the electric fence.

You were one evil child. Sweet Jesus I crossed one of them once in shorts as a teenager and got shocked so bad into the danglies I truly believed that they would never work, a night of drunken fumbling quickly told me otherwise!

twanda

When I was about 7, I thought it would be a 'funny joke' to fill a 7up bottle with washing up liquid and water - my older sister came in from school and took a few gulps before she realised what it was. I just remember her with two big red eyes from crying and bubbles coming out of her mouth. My ar*e got reddened that day...

ENN0

When I was 6 or 7 I was invited to my cosines birthday(she was 11). Her parents got her a rabbit and I loved to scare to f*&k out of little animals at the time, saw my chance and screamed at the lil rabbit(one those annoying little pre-pubescent boy screams) and the rabbit just fell over...found out it died of a heart attack...boy was I embarrassed!

Another time when I was 13 or 14 I was out some friends skating in an industrial estate when everywhere was closed...and after a few of them egged me on I put a brick through a window, Little did I know that there where people in the building and they came out, I didnt hang around!

A_M101

One hot summer, a stream close to my house dried up. Our neighbours had also done some construction work so I thought that the stream drying up was because of the construction. I sneaked over one day, found the dad's tool kit and buried it on him as punishment.

Besides that I was a pretty good child.

My brother on the other hand was a demon. Used to put me in a laundry basket sitting on my hands, head and feet poking out, so that I was stuck. Then I learned to topple the basket and unlodge myself so he started putting me and basket balancing on the top step of the stairs. Any wobble and down I'd tumble.

jebuz

Me and my sister used to stamp on bee's sitting happily on flowers in the grass. We would then pick up the corpses with a clothes peg and put them in the mass bee grave I dug behind the shed. A lot of bee's died back then. We figured we were doing our parents a favour ensuring the back garden was a bee-free zone, now I realise it was a reckless and unecessary loss of life. Sorry.

hunter164

I threw my brother over my back when he was a couple of months.

I've smashed 3 windows in my house/shed.

When I was 11 one of the fellas in school brought in what he claimed to be Sniff and so we spent the day sniffing that up.

I also headbutted through a school window.

I once tormented a girl so much in school I made her cry home to her parents. No wait I done that twice.

Just this year I ruined the other classes mini-company documents.

Quazzie

I spit down through the holes in my sisters packet of polo mints just because i knew she wouldn't give me one then watched her eat them. (Aged 5)

I didn't want my parent away on holidays without me so I broke a window at home and cut my arm to make them come home and give out to my sister for not minding me properly. I cut my arm so deep that I nearly bled to death but all I could think on the way to the hospital was that my sister was gonna be in so much trouble (Aged 7)

I gave my female cousin a crew cut on the morning of our first communion thus ruining any picture she was in(Aged 6?)

I opened up a bullet to get to the gunpowder then threw it into an open fire when I couldn't do it properly thus leading to a barrage of pellets flying everywhere. One lodged in a 'friends' leg, he wasn't really my friend so I was happy. (Aged 8)

When being chased I always tripped someone up so they'd be caught, even if it was unnecessary

I used to go to Mass and always sat behind the same kid and used to box him the back when kneeling down, causing him to cry and the get given out to. I later found out his parents were considering sending him to councilling to see why he hated religion so much, but then it suddenly stopped. (my parents brought me to a different church)

I found some paint in my back shed and decided to paint my dads car, causing hundred of pounds worth of damage (aged 7)

I convinced my 'friend' it was ok to masturbate and that it was a common thing and then watched as he done it in class thus resulting in him being nearly expelled (Aged 11)

I really was an evil little C*nt. My wife is pregnant at the moment. Karma is gonna suck big time!

jebuz

You sir are the devil

ScumLord

On freezing winter days we used to ice the footpaths in our estate and wait for the old fogies to come home from mass.

When the thundercats sticker book came out me and another kid where racing towards getting all the stickers. I was sickened when he completed the book first so I climbed the tree he used to love sitting under looking over his sticker collection. I waited and waited and when he finally showed up and pissed on him.

c - 13

I used to be fairly strong as a kid so it was a regular occurrence to pick up a younger sibling who was pissing me off by the leg and dangle them over a stairs/bridge and threaten to drop them until they were quiet. When they realised I wasnt going to drop them they used to annoy me just so i'd do it ... so that kind of backfired.

My brother pushed me off a very high wall causing me to pull ligaments all up my arm. When they healed I tried to throw him out through the glass panel in the backdoor. Lucky for him it was wired glass.

The parents left the broken pane of glass in the back door for years and if I had a girl over i'd get - "Oh, did c - 13 show you the crack in the glass over there he caused trying to murder his brother ?"

We get on good now though ... most of the time. Not too bad compared to some of the stories here :eek:

Actually based on some of the stories i've heard about my Dad, he was 100 times worse than me too.

boardinwork

I put stones down this kids pants one day and then made him eat frog spawn when i was about 5.

When i was about 8, a kid shat himself in class and i kicked him up the ass and told everyone what he had done to himself.

Silenceisbliss

hunter164 wrote: »

I threw my brother over my back when he was a couple of months.

I've smashed 3 windows in my house/shed.

When I was 11 one of the fellas in school brought in what he claimed to be Sniff and so we spent the day sniffing that up.

I also headbutted through a school window.

I once tormented a girl so much in school I made her cry home to her parents. No wait I done that twice.

Just this year I ruined the other classes mini-company documents.

oh come on, im sure youve done worse, ur just not thinking hard enough!



I once blew up a tractor aswell. that was the most trouble ive ever ever gotten into. it was harsh. I did learn my lesson. but in my defence, i thought the tractor was abandoned (it was in a field like being used as a gate) and my friend was a bad influence.

fuel still in tank, punctured a hole in bottom of tank with stone, lit fuel...got out of control....we run away...we hear a boom. DONE!

got in so so so much **** for that. I even had to pay 80 punts to the farmer ( which was about €2000 equivialnt to me now), (just thinking of it now...what did my parents have to pay....hmmm)

anyway, jaysus....I really did get in **** for that. like really

ssmith6287

I got suspended from school when i was 15, It happened to be the week of my sisters birthday. Evry card that came in the door, I opened, kept the money, burnt the card

Me and my mate put mustard on a cats ass, twas very funny. All we could see was a black dot running down the road, Unfortunately the road ended, the cat ran straight into the wall, so there was a big red splat on the wall.

I put Veet in my sisters hair about 4 months ago, Im 21 shes 15 she still wears a hat

hunter164

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

oh come on, im sure youve done worse, ur just not thinking hard enough!



I once blew up a tractor aswell. that was the most trouble ive ever ever gotten into. it was harsh. I did learn my lesson. but in my defence, i thought the tractor was abandoned (it was in a field like being used as a gate) and my friend was a bad influence.

fuel still in tank, punctured a hole in bottom of tank with stone, lit fuel...got out of control....we run away...we hear a boom. DONE!

got in so so so much **** for that. I even had to pay 80 punts to the farmer ( which was about €2000 equivialnt to me now), (just thinking of it now...what did my parents have to pay....hmmm)

anyway, jaysus....I really did get in **** for that. like really

I have done worse just it takes hard work to think of them.

I once robbed me Grannies purse and had her chasing me round Artane Castle for it.

The usual things at Halloween throwing rockets and bangers at people.

I'll think of more later.

Silenceisbliss

c - 13 wrote: »

My brother pushed me off a very high wall causing me to pull ligaments all up my arm. When they healed I tried to throw him out through the glass panel in the backdoor. Lucky for him it was wired glass.

The parents left the broken pane of glass in the back door for years and if I had a girl over i'd get - "Oh, did c - 13 show you the crack in the glass over there he caused trying to murder his brother ?".

Thats BRILLIANT. really, fantastic. luv it!

c - 13 wrote: »

Actually based on some of the stories i've heard about my Dad, he was 100 times worse than me too.

YA, same here, except with my grandad. im from belgium, so then is my grandad. WW2, plenty of bullets and easy to get guns all over the place, he was like 8 i think at the time, himself and his brother had found a gun and some bullets, they were messing with it, seemingly my grandads turn to "play" with it, they were being childish, fought over who gets to play with it next, grandad shoots his brother in the leg by "accident".... the scars are on my great uncles leg, he has to tell us every time he sees us nearly.

still though, i think its fair funny.

Silenceisbliss

ssmith6287 wrote: »

I got suspended from school when i was 15, It happened to be the week of my sisters birthday. Evry card that came in the door, I opened, kept the money, burnt the card

Me and my mate put mustard on a cats ass, twas very funny. All we could see was a black dot running down the road, Unfortunately the road ended, the cat ran straight into the wall, so there was a big red splat on the wall.

I put Veet in my sisters hair about 4 months ago, Im 21 shes 15 she still wears a hat

i hate when people make me laugh out loud at work....:D

ssmith6287

Ive more, theyre the highlights.

I used to love telling people it was my birthday. Just randomers. Theyd usually give ye cash

Theres a big hill (pedestrian) it goes down to a path beside a dual carriageway. used to hit golf balls off it onto the motorway.

I put my mates rear left side of his car on blocks nd never told him thinking hed see it. He didn see it. I now owe him a ball of money. He aint getting it

punchdrunk

I must have been around ten or so,i was living in new market on fergus in clare at the time
we lived on a really steep hill that was a cul de sac

at the bottom of the hill was an unfinished site,it looked kinda like a golf bunker,but with pipes and bricks etc lying around
well anyways after finding one of these really thick pipes i decided to go home,get a butter knife from the kitchen,and spend about an hour sawing through it

eventually i cut into it and strangely enough water started to trickle out,at first then it became a rather nice water feature
i ran home,and retreated to my room

the next day we drove past and i could see the man who lived on the corner opposite the sandpit dragging these huge blue barrels across the road
one was already filled up quite nicely:D

hunter164

Ah I remember another was only this year :O
Walking around after our 4th year graduation i come across the things the Corporation use to release water from the ground or whatever. One person twists it a bit then turns it off. So i just say **** it and twist it around for a bit and before I know it it's like a hose all over the road.

andrew

When I was about 7 I punched a guy in the face. In fairness, it was in self defence. He had become quite angry following my shouts of 'HA You like barney!!!' and I didn't know what else to do, so I just socked him one. Thats about it. Come to think of it I was a boring child. Always thought of evil things to do but never did them. Thats what I get for being able to think ahead

Silenceisbliss

andrew wrote: »

When I was about 7 I punched a guy in the face. In fairness, it was in self defence. He had become quite angry following my shouts of 'HA You like barney!!!' and I didn't know what else to do, so I just socked him one. Thats about it. Come to think of it I was a boring child. Always thought of evil things to do but never did them. Thats what I get for being able to think ahead

PROFFESOR CHAOS! (south park...butters, look it up if you dont get the joke....out)

Kiera

I was a little brat. Can’t think of all the bold things I did but one stands out. I used to put nail-bite on the other kids milk straws. Guaranteed 100 lines a week “I must not put nail-bite on straws”.