What evil things did you do as a kid?

Archeron · 15-08-2008 07:17PM #1

Now I don't mean evil in a hellish way, but in an "evil kid" kind of way.
I think most of us have done things as kids that make you think now of what a little fecker you were, and most of us regularly see kids that really should carry pitchforks. So what were your defining moments of kiddie evil?
I wasn't an evil kid generally, but one or two things I did still don't make sense to me even today.

When I was about 5, for no reason whatsoever, I blocked up a sink outlet in a chip shop/cafe place, left on the taps, and then strolled back out to eat my meal with my family. I sat there all innocent as a wave of water came flowing out of the bathroom after a few minutes and gradually enveloped the whole floor. I didn't do that maliciously, I think I just wondered what would happen if the sink blocked, so I tested it out.

On another occasion, about 8 years old, I picked up a massive steelie (one of those ones that was stolen from a bumper car) that a friend had rolled to me, and for no reason at all, threw it straight through a school window. It was a fine smash noise I must admit. My poor friend never got that steelie back, and he was so proud of it.

What about you? Any evil childhood deeds you need to confess to?

(not bullying others or hurting people/animals of course, cause that stuff just sucks)

PurpleBerry · 15-08-2008 07:24PM

This one time, this kid I didn't like, I chopped up his parents into chilli and fed them to him.

Oh no wait, that was Cartman.

Next!

taidghbaby · 15-08-2008 07:29PM

my cousin was jumping over a tennis net one day, and i pulled it up!
she fell over the net and broke her elbow......ive never told anyone i did it either

LeixlipRed · 15-08-2008 07:32PM

Neesa wrote: »

This one time, this kid I didn't like, I chopped up his parents into chilli and fed them to him.

Oh no wait, that was Cartman.

Next!

What an episode. Radiohead's greatest moment

I once took unscrewed the tire cap from my next door neighbours bike and threw it in a drain for absolutely no reason. And she grew up to be so hot so I always regretted it :P

Silenceisbliss · 15-08-2008 07:34PM

haha, brilliant.

when I was around 10, my cousin (8 at the time) was using my brand new super soaker against my will playing "fireman", I was having none of this and kicked him. as a punishment, my mum said I wasnt allowed to use it for the whole time my cousin was here and that he was the only one allowed to use it.:mad:

anywho, I was burning the rubbish (trying to keep it lit) but the little spanner kept sprayin water on it. so when empty, i ofered to fill it up for him..

****goes to shed where lawnmower is, fills up bottle full of petrol

****

dont regret it at all....his face when a stream of fire came shooting towards him... priceless:cool:

markos79 · 15-08-2008 07:48PM

Silenceisbliss wrote: »

haha, brilliant.

when I was around 10, my cousin (8 at the time) was using my brand new super soaker against my will playing "fireman", I was having none of this and kicked him. as a punishment, my mum said I wasnt allowed to use it for the whole time my cousin was here and that he was the only one allowed to use it.:mad:

anywho, I was burning the rubbish (trying to keep it lit) but the little spanner kept sprayin water on it. so when empty, i ofered to fill it up for him..

****goes to shed where lawnmower is, fills up bottle full of petrol ****

dont regret it at all....his face when a stream of fire came shooting towards him... priceless:cool:

LMFAO:D

have a nice time in hell!!

Alicat · 15-08-2008 07:51PM

I was only mean to my little brother.....but aren't you supposed to be mean to little brothers??

When he was little, about 4, and used to play outside our house, he always left it to the last minute to decide he needed to go to the loo. Then he'd come bombing it down the road, hammering on the door and dancing on the doormat.

Me (about 7/8), being inside the house and slightly bitchy, used to go slowly towards the glass front door, and say "Sorry, what? I can't hear you, sorry? Hello?". Poor little fecker dancing the mat dying to pee. I normally let him in after a minute or so, but this time I kept it going just a little bit too long and the little fella ended up wetting himself all over the doormat

Another time, I put him in the laundry basket and rolled him down the stairs!

Cruelest of all though was that I used to put him in my old dresses and tie his hair in scrunchies

minidazzler · 15-08-2008 07:53PM

Silenceisbliss, Now that is Sadistic Evil!!!

Not my evil story but I am involved.

When me and my cousin were around 8/9 we were playing real life hang man.

I was going to be the victim and when I didn't get the word right she kicked the crate I was standing on. I was hanging for a good 25 seconds before my mam rushed out and saved me!!! I nearly died!!!

I have never forgiven the bitch!!!

mumhaabu · 15-08-2008 08:00PM

On the blocked sink one, me and the rest of our evil gang stuffed tissues into a sink and turned the tap on full in our classroom around 3.00ish after the principal had left, the cleaners didn't come in the evening as we knew, anyway nobody checked the room before lock up as we knew again (it was premeditated).

Cue Monday morning a flood of water upon opening the door, classes in a spare room for a few days plus dehumidifiers and new carpet it was priceless. I was around 12 in 6th class and they knew we did it yet couldn't really prove it, so they tried to get other students to tell on us by doing an anonymous "write who did it" and place in the box type of vote. Naturally we all voted for one kid although he was told off he didn't get the blame. We essentially got away with it and did more havoc as the end of our primary school days came nearer. The joys of growing up in ireland! :eek:

Run_to_da_hills · 15-08-2008 08:00PM

My father used to have an oxy acetylene plant in a workshop at the side of the house, Myself and a few mates would fill up balloons with this stuff coming up to Halloween and set them off around the place, when ignited with a long fuse it would make such an explosion that it would set off burglar and car alarms along the road and also have people coming out on to the streets to see what happened. We would be gone before the cops would have arrived

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 15-08-2008 08:06PM

Hmm....the evilest thing I did I can't remember, but people bring it up a lot :P when I was about three, there was some kind of family hootenany going on down in Limerick (always a recipe for trouble anyway), so myself and my sister and a clatter of other cousins were staying at my granny's house. Myself and one of the cousins who's about 5 years older than me got sent outside to play swingball. About a half hour later I come in, cackling, my mother goes "Where's Simon?" and gets a cackle in reply so she goes out to check and he's fully passed out on the lawn. They reckon I must have just decked him with the swingball racket.
An aunt of mine is phobic of butterflies, so I used to run into the kitchen when she was there with my hands cupped and go "Look what I caught in the garden!"
I was pretty horrible to my siblings too but I typed all that yesterdayand I'm lazy

Firetrap · 15-08-2008 08:13PM

My dad used to manage a farm that had a really big tank where they stored the slurry before they put it into spreaders to spray it all over the fields. Anyway, one day my mum called in to see him and I was at a loose end. To amuse myself, I decided to see what exactly giant rocks looked like as they were chucked into giant vats of slurry. I heard later that these rocks caused hundreds of pounds worth of damage to the tank and the machinery.

Also, I had tadpoles but after a while decided that I didn't want them to grow into frogs after all. So I killed them by pouring bleach into the bowl where they were living.

NotMe · 15-08-2008 08:56PM

When I was in first class I picked up a conker from the nature table and bounced it off another kids head. The teacher called me outside the class and I started crying.

That's my first evil memory!

taidghbaby wrote:

my cousin was jumping over a tennis net one day, and i pulled it up!
she fell over the net and broke her elbow......ive never told anyone i did it either

haha, similar to this: My brother was swinging on the clothes line and I pulled the end of it and he went head over heels and smashed his chin into the ground. He ended up in hospital with a huge swollen jaw and we called him "redchin" for at least a year afterwards.

Quality · 15-08-2008 09:27PM

I used to put the pet rabbits into plastic bags and swing them around so that they were in there own little merry go round..

The bag used to be filled with piss and **** because they were so scared.. At the time, I thought they were enjoying it... until my sister caught me doing it, and bate the head off me...

AckwelFoley · 15-08-2008 09:28PM

I used to put my finger inside my neighbors dog when i was 10.

15 years later i put it inside my neighbours daughter.

AckwelFoley · 15-08-2008 09:38PM

Mr.S wrote: »

did you wash the finger?

no, its lile my personal "snuff box" (pardon the pun) that i steal a sneaky sniffle of when im stressed.

randylonghorn · 15-08-2008 10:00PM

taidghbaby wrote: »

my cousin was jumping over a tennis net one day, and i pulled it up!
she fell over the net and broke her elbow......

Did that ... he didn't break his elbow!

Wasn't very evil as a kid, that clicked in around puberty ... :pac:

We took a visitor (American / full of it) swimming with us to a small remote beach one day, skipped off with his clothes and left him there, causing him to miss the date he had spent a week angling for with a girl I fancied. He eventually made it home ...

A favourite trick for a while was putting a teaspoon of liquid soap in a condom and planting it on some poor sucker. Mate of ours reached finto his jacket pocket for his wallet in the chipper and pulled one out. It dropped on the floor with everyone staring at it, he didn't cop on for ages, couldn't figure out why everyone was giggling and pointing!

Oh, we planted a couple in the girls' loo at school too, that caused pandemonium ...

barnacle · 15-08-2008 10:27PM

snyper wrote: »

I used to put my finger inside my neighbors dog when i was 10.

I'm not even surprised.

15-08-2008 10:35PM

I managed to incite a riot on a field trip in baby infants and earn slaps for everyone in the class.
They cried a river that day.

I was caught trying to dispose of my youngest sister after she same home from the hospital.

I systemically destroyed every house I entered. I took a screw driver to every screw in my mothers friends house one day.
I never had a babysitter for longer than three months.

My grandad used to catalogue the time for propersity in a press.
I was obsessed with getting into the press and tossing everything in the air. To get a reaction from him.
Every single week, I would rampage through his house looking for the key to his press. Every week I found it and he went bananas.
I can remember laughing my head off in the middle of flurry of papers, I would have been 18-24 months.

I used to blackmail adults into doing my homework for me, then vehemently lie when they did it too good and the teacher caught me out.

I used to get people to sign contracts and hold my teddy ransom if I wanted to blackmail them.

I liked fires.

There was an unfortunate cat incident.

I convinced the other kids to reverse everything in the classroom when the teacher left for a minute. I stole her car keys and refused to give them back.

Thats what I can remember up to senior infants.

Special mention to actually bodily harm at about age 7-8.

My cousin is an arsehole, he really used to piss me off when we were little. One day I saw an opportunity and I shoved him down a mountainous path. He ended up with 32 stitchs but didn't tell. He may have been concussed.

I don't think I need go on.....one day I will have children and I'll know the irony that is karma.

KnifeWRENCH · 15-08-2008 10:37PM

When my sister used piss me off, I sometimes went and scratched one of her CD's with a compass.

Prof.Badass · 15-08-2008 11:45PM

1. Stole teachers box of sweets and "distributed" them round the class.
2.Stole a duster every few days for a peroid of a few weeks.
3.while competing in a drama competetion in another school we were given a classroom to change in. I proceeded to vandalise a stack of copies by writing "sex","****" and drawing genitallia (of both sexes) on them (they were only 1st class i think).
4.When in an office I poured an entire bottle of water into a box of outgoing mail.

Pity i can't say what i did in secondary school, That list's way more intesting!

JerryHandbag · 16-08-2008 12:32AM

I hit my brother on the head with a golf ball...an accident, but it was such an accurate shot that I pretended that I meant it

And I did mean it*

He's fine now....lickin windows for the county council

*may not be true

staker · 19-08-2008 12:21AM

Got my younger neighbour to wee on an electric fence wire. It was on.:)

19-08-2008 12:26AM

I used to rig metal objects....like other peoples bikes with the electric fence.

Firetrap · 19-08-2008 01:43AM

staker wrote: »

Got my younger neighbour to wee on an electric fence wire. It was on.:)

That's a mistake nobody makes a second time

eVeNtInE · 19-08-2008 01:48AM

This post has been deleted.

stevecrow74 · 19-08-2008 02:00AM

Archeron wrote: »

(not bullying others or hurting people/animals of course, cause that stuff just sucks)

oh well... no stories from me so :eek::eek::eek::eek:

Zolderzzzzz · 19-08-2008 02:02AM

I inadvertently set fire to my mother.

KJ_2008 · 19-08-2008 02:10AM

Zolderzzzzz wrote: »

I inadvertently set fire to my mother.

Was the funeral well attended?

mumhaabu · 19-08-2008 10:06AM

Moonbaby wrote: »

I used to rig metal objects....like other peoples bikes with the electric fence.

You were one evil child. Sweet Jesus I crossed one of them once in shorts as a teenager and got shocked so bad into the danglies I truly believed that they would never work, a night of drunken fumbling quickly told me otherwise!

twanda · 19-08-2008 11:13AM

When I was about 7, I thought it would be a 'funny joke' to fill a 7up bottle with washing up liquid and water - my older sister came in from school and took a few gulps before she realised what it was. I just remember her with two big red eyes from crying and bubbles coming out of her mouth. My ar*e got reddened that day...

What evil things did you do as a kid?

Comments