Howeya-isms

IvaBigWun

Could be an urban legend but!

There's a story that has been passed around over the years and apparently the source is the Dublin Bus driver who witnessed it in all its glory


Picture the scene:

Rush hour. Full bus. Traveling through north Dublin. Two oul wans sitting behind driver with their tartan two- wheeled trolleys.

Bus stops.

Dwarf gets on.

Young lady stands up and offers seat to vertically challenged man. Small guy replies with indignant tirade about not being disabled blah blah. Young woman gets off in shame and embarrassment. Two oul wans stare daggers at small guy (as does rest of bus).

Eventually, small guy gets up for his stop. When at door, oul wan leans over and says….

Wait for it…

“Here you, I hope when you get home that Snow White bates the bollix out of ye…”



So over to you, I know its another skanger thread but at least in this one we can laugh at them instead of the usual "they tried to stab me to death with an umbrella" stories.

Think of it as "Overheard In Dublin .... and then I ran away as fast as I could"

Quazzie

funniest ever!

minxie

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Could be an urban legend but!

There's a story that has been passed around over the years and apparently the source is the Dublin Bus driver who witnessed it in all its glory


Picture the scene:

Rush hour. Full bus. Traveling through north Dublin. Two oul wans sitting behind driver with their tartan two- wheeled trolleys.

Bus stops.

Dwarf gets on.

Young lady stands up and offers seat to vertically challenged man. Small guy replies with indignant tirade about not being disabled blah blah. Young woman gets off in shame and embarrassment. Two oul wans stare daggers at small guy (as does rest of bus).

Eventually, small guy gets up for his stop. When at door, oul wan leans over and says….

Wait for it…

“Here you, I hope when you get home that Snow White bates the bollix out of ye…”



So over to you, I know its another skanger thread but at least in this one we can laugh at them instead of the usual "they tried to stab me to death with an umbrella" stories.

hee hee now thats put a smile on my face:)

Gone West

(similar urban legend from the north side)

Theres the one about the group of american tourists outside connolly station.
About 5 of them, and all elderly American women.
They're looking at a tourist map unsuccessfully trying to find the airport.
Dismayed, one spots a gang of D1 locals walking around a corner.
She says "hey, lets ask that group of athletes"

dade

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

ntlbell

There was a thread I think on the propertypin where two aul wans were overheard talking on a bus

something like

Mary: Je see the bleedin house prices josey going down like the titanic
Josie: I know mary, we should of died last year

ntlbell

dade wrote: »

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

LOL I heard this before, that's a classic

Jumpy

dade wrote: »

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

Obviously a fake. No bus driver would be educated enough to know who Quasimodo was.

minxie

dade wrote: »

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

On the way home from work on the bus. It's packed, it's hot and everyone is well and truly p***ed off (including the driver). The UCD stop comes up and the bell rings. Then the bell rings again and again and again and again. Obviously each person getting off thought they were the first to do it. Suddenly the bus driver slams on the brakes, turns on the intercom and roars at the entire bus....

"Will yis stop ringing the bleedin' bell, who the f**k do yis think I am?? I' not f***in Quasimodo!!!!!

Absolutely classic, the entire bus cracked up!

pickarooney

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

(similar urban legend from the north side)

Theres the one about the group of american tourists outside connolly station.
About 5 of them, and all elderly American women.
They're looking at a tourist map unsuccessfully trying to find the airport.
Dismayed, one spots a gang of D1 locals walking around a corner.
She says "hey, lets ask that group of athletes"

Hmm... my sister-in-law said she actually overheard that conversation.

IvaBigWun

Just to add that it doesnt have to be just bus stories. As long as it involves scary and unintentionally funny skangers and things you've overheard them say that'll do

pickarooney

Jumpy wrote: »

Obviously a fake. No bus driver would be educated enough to know who Quasimodo was.

Disney?

PurpleBerry

This isn't mine but I'll share

An American family group had just arrived in Ireland at Shannon when one of their little kids went missing. After an immediate frantic but fruitless search the Grandad burst out with - “Don’t worry! The kid can’t get off the island!”

from http://www.overheardinusa.com/?paged=6

IvaBigWun

Neesa wrote: »

This isn't mine but I'll share

An American family group had just arrived in Ireland at Shannon when one of their little kids went missing. After an immediate frantic but fruitless search the Grandad burst out with - “Don’t worry! The kid can’t get off the island!”

from http://www.overheardinusa.com/?paged=6

Thats an American-ism surely? :P

PurpleBerry

Ooh, probably. it was overheard in ireland though.

You're right, it's a bit of a stretch.

minxie

just found this:
Picture the scene...

3 girls(housemates), locked,in a taxi,on the way home from the nightclub, jaded, did I metion locked?
We've all had a pretty rough night, everybody is talking but no one is listening to each other.

Housemate #1(just after a bad break up with boyfriend of one a half years): 'why is he ignoring me, why is this all happening,is it too much to ask to be civil....pr**k'

Housemate #2(in the process of breaking up with boyfriend): 'why is he ignoring the situation, why cant we just talk, im going insane....pr**k'

Me (just after being completely snubbed by a guy I had been hooking up with,including the PREVIOUS night): 'why is he ignoring me, he was in my bed less than 24 hours ago....pr**k'

Taxi driver: *accelaration of taxi*

IvaBigWun

Neesa wrote: »

Ooh, probably. it was overheard in ireland though.

You're right, it's a bit of a stretch.

This is the "overheard funny stuff said by skangers" thread

*slap*

Although there's plenty of American knackers too they dont quite have the same way with words like our special people.

Pighead

Pighead was on a bus once doing the moderate level crossword in one of the Sunday papers. Got stuck on 4 across "To tar everyone with the same brush", ten letters.

Dirty rotten stinkin howya in a dirty rotten stinkin tracksuit who was sitting in the seat behind, tapped Pighead on the shoulder and in the dirtiest rottenist stinkin Dublin accent uttered "generalise". "Cheers bud" said Pighead. And with that the crossword was done. Will never forget it.

jimi_t

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

(similar urban legend from the north side)

Theres the one about the group of american tourists outside connolly station.
About 5 of them, and all elderly American women.
They're looking at a tourist map unsuccessfully trying to find the airport.
Dismayed, one spots a gang of D1 locals walking around a corner.
She says "hey, lets ask that group of athletes"

There's a similar one along the lines of this.

Some foreign celebrity of some description is opening a shopping centre or some such (think along the lines of The Square). All is going well until his speech

'It is with great honour that I officially open this Sports Centre, with the hope tha...'

Cue an official sprinting up to the podium to have a 'quiet word'. Pause. Muffled indignation over the PA system

'...then why are they all wearing tracksuits?'

Fajitas!

I got on the 123 up to Thomas St. from O Connell St, and a junkie had found himself a nice place to have a nap. When we got to Dame st, a pregnant woman, with very poor english and an attitude problem, looking for James Hospital got on... She was in the late late stages of her pregnancy.

The bus went on up to Christchurch, when pregnant lady got up and started screaming abuse at the (Black) bus driver, pretty much telling him that he should drive her up to Cork St, to the hospital there... She got pretty nasty, racist and loud.

Junkie wakes up and exclaims VERY loudly:

"If she has tha' baby on this bus, I'll bleedin' get sick all ooover her"

Cue hysterics from a lot of the bus. Pregnant lady shuts up and gets up at next stop.

/win

Gone West

Neesa wrote: »

This isn't mine but I'll share

None of them are anybodies.

Including the chick who says her sister in law heard it.
She was merely passing off someone elses anecdote as her own.

nice1franko

www.overheardindublin.com some good uns there

IvaBigWun

nice1franko wrote: »

www.overheardindublin.com some good uns there

These are Boardsies stories (or should that be storrrrryyyys?) of things they overheard specifically skangers say.

Thanks for link in anyways (bud)

A_M101

My housemate was hopping off the bus and said thanks to the bus driver, he goes "No worries, I was heading this way anyway!"

Couple of personal ones that I've definitely heard/seen:

In changing rooms in Seán McDermott St. swimming pool: "Sure who'd give us jobs......we're crinimals".

and

scrawled on ceiling of 20b bus....."Michelle is a sluh"

IvaBigWun

A_M101 wrote: »

My housemate was hopping off the bus and said thanks to the bus driver, he goes "No worries, I was heading this way anyway!"

Degsy

Deleted User wrote: »

Couple of personal ones that I've definitely heard/seen:

In changing rooms in Seán McDermott St. swimming pool: "Sure who'd give us jobs......we're crinimals".

and

scrawled on ceiling of 20b bus....."Michelle is a sluh"

Howth Junction and surrounding area at various times

OlYpic Raveres

AISLING BYRNE LOVES THE GAURDS

JOEY COSTELLO IS AN PAID IFORMER.PAID,TRUE.

GARDA SCUMB BAGS

doonothing

When I worked in the cinema, I was she came up and asked for 2 tickets to "appy...polly...colly...lyppo... whatever the new bleedin Mel Gibson film is called"

GirlInterrupted

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead was on a bus once doing the moderate level crossword in one of the Sunday papers. Got stuck on 4 across "To tar everyone with the same brush", ten letters.

Dirty rotten stinkin howya in a dirty rotten stinkin tracksuit who was sitting in the seat behind, tapped Pighead on the shoulder and in the dirtiest rottenist stinkin Dublin accent uttered "generalise". "Cheers bud" said Pighead. And with that the crossword was done. Will never forget it.

I love that story. Promise its true????:D

Latchy

Reminds me of the incdent which also happened on a dublin bus about 7 ,8 years ago in which the bus driver referred to an unstable passenger who was about to get off the bus with the comment '' ah sure dont mind him , he's only being let out for the day '' .This comment was reported by somebody, perhaps the passenger himself and cost Dublin bus a large fine .

Blisterman

This one was me http://www.overheardindublin.com/story.php?id=5276

After the Leinster-Ulster game in the RDS last christmas, me and my friend decided to have a quick ride on the roller coaster in Funderland. As the train went up the chains, we overhear in the carrige behind us.

Skanger #1: "Jaysus, Wudja look at this, me bar is loose!"
Skanger #2: "Don't worry, it's fine!"
Skanger #1: "Well, if I fall out, when it goes upside down, I'll murder ya!"

IvaBigWun

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

I love that story. Promise its true????:D

GI in rare dumb blonde moment! :eek:

rstans

This is one I overheard myself here in Limerick. Outside McDonalds of a Saturday afternoon, a shower of Moyrosstitutes (ladies from the fine suburb of Moyross), all wearing tracksuits and stillettoes and pushing prams.
One had just recently had a baby and the others were all admiring said little chap. The usual comments were passed, "aaah, he's gorgeous, he's just like his daddy etc" when Proud Mammy pipes up with "Yeah, and you should see the langer on him!"
I damn near pi***d meself in the middle of O'Connell Street.

antodeco

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead was on a bus once doing the moderate level crossword in one of the Sunday papers. Got stuck on 4 across "To tar everyone with the same brush", ten letters.

Dirty rotten stinkin howya in a dirty rotten stinkin tracksuit who was sitting in the seat behind, tapped Pighead on the shoulder and in the dirtiest rottenist stinkin Dublin accent uttered "generalise". "Cheers bud" said Pighead. And with that the crossword was done. Will never forget it.

Pity the answer was "stereotype"!!!

Ross_Mahon

I was walking past two scanger girls hanging about the shops

Asho- "Have ye got a smoke mister?"
Me- "No sorry, I don't smoke"
Asho- "I WASNT ASKIN YE IF YOU SMOKED, I WAS ASKING DID U HAVE ONE!"
Me- "Why the **** would i have a smoke if i don't smoke"
Mary- "The cheek of him!"

They always have something to say...

sam34

antodeco wrote: »

Pity the answer was "stereotype"!!!

excellent!
and the post of the day goes to....

msg11

Dunno if this fits in here.

But had a customer in the other day; Looking for the tin foil .

the skag"alllllrrriiii mann, where de ye keep ta tin foil?"

me "it is down here, I will bring you too it"

I knew what he was using it for, Decide to try some light conversation! :pac:

me "so what type of cake are ye baking?"

the skag ""

Absolutely priceless.

---

Some images too join the thread...

Snopp dogg

BraziliaNZ

so do they still wear tracksuits in Dublin?

Xavi6

My mate (a fellow boardsie) told me this story.

Not sure anyone remembers but a while back some looper was threatening to hang himself off the side of the Liffey in town. My mate's Dad is a copper and was down there.

Anyway, they were tryin to calm your man down and get him to come off the edge and were communicationg via mobile phone. It was right outside the four courts and coincidentally some skanger was being taken in for a trial. He surveyed the scene and shouted over, "Here garda, if he jumps can I've his phone?"!

Classic!

Captain Ginger

A PD election poster with the rather voluptuous Mary Harney. The slogan beside her picture was "Don't throw it all away".
Someone had altered it to say "Don't throw it all away... I'll eat it"

Leeby

I visited a friend in James Hospital a few weeks ago and was sitting at the Luas stop waitin to head back into town. There's this little shelter thing where the local junkies hang out, there was two of them in there at the time when a group of little kids (maybe 10 years old) come along and start throwing stones at the shelter.

One of the junkies came out and started hurling abuse at them so they threw stones at him and chanted "JUNKIES OUT! JUNKIES OUT!".

One of the kids got a little close and the junkie made a grab at him shoutin "c'mere ya bollix an' I'll give ye a smack!!"

The little kid narrowly avoided his grab and legged it off shoutin "I'm not the one who needs his smack!! hahahaha!!"

stovelid

Not really a howeya-ism (whatever that is) but the best one I've heard of was on a bus to Tallaght, quite soon after 9/11. A Arab fella was sitting at the front of the bus with a heavily pregnant woman who had some kind of Muslim headdress on, not a burkha but enough to make it hard to see her face properly.

Two junkies were getting off, pretty wasted, and one of them said something like alright Osama to the guy and patted him unnecessarily hard on the lap. A row broke out, and one of the junkies spat at them (:()and said something along the lines of why don't you go home. To which the Muslim girl stood up, pushed aside the headdress and screamed something like I AM AT' BLEEDIN HOME, RI! in a 100% Dublin accent.

Honey-ec

Guy I used to go out with in the dim and distant past worked in the 9th Lock petrol station in Clondalkin. Knacker comes in, "Stoaaarry, bud, have ye got anny of dem cowboy crips???"

Rancheros.

leninbenjamin

Neesa wrote: »

This isn't mine but I'll share

An American family group had just arrived in Ireland at Shannon when one of their little kids went missing. After an immediate frantic but fruitless search the Grandad burst out with - “Don’t worry! The kid can’t get off the island!”

the amount of yanks who think this. here's a another. some relatives of a neighbour who ran a B&B in Dingle had this one to say:

An American party arrives in Dublin airport. they ring up the B&B to confirm their booking and at the end of the conversation the American goes "We'll be down in 20 minutes as soon as we get out of the airport".

She broke down on the phone apparently when they told how long it would take to get there. How can people do that?

John Mason

Probably not a right stupid but people are stupid

I had a lady on the phone in work screaming at me because money she was supposed to have received hadnt come through.

i look at the computer and it left our bank account three weeks previously.

I read the account number out to her, that she she had sent us in.

She started going nuts saying she wanted in another account and how was she supposed to know the money was going to go in to that account.

i explained to her, that she had filled in the bank details with that account number. she replied "i knew i did but then i changed my mind and i want it in the other account"

i had to ask her if she thought i telepathaic, how in gods name am i supposed to know she changed her mind !!!!!!!!!!!

WindSock

I always remember this one from that website:

2 skangers male and female walk into a chipper and the man says;-

'wha' r ye havin'?

-'a snack box'

'yer not havin a snack box'

-'i fookin am'

'yer noh, now wha are ye havin?

-'Get me a bleedin snack box or yer not gettin yer hoel tonigh.

The man turns around to the person behind the counter:

'Two snack boxes, ple-ase'

Gone West

irishbird wrote: »

Probably not a right stupid but people are stupid

I had a lady on the phone in work screaming at me because money she was supposed to have received hadnt come through.

i look at the computer and it left our bank account three weeks previously.

I read the account number out to her, that she she had sent us in.

She started going nuts saying she wanted in another account and how was she supposed to know the money was going to go in to that account.

i explained to her, that she had filled in the bank details with that account number. she replied "i knew i did but then i changed my mind and i want it in the other account"

i had to ask her if she thought i telepathaic, how in gods name am i supposed to know she changed her mind !!!!!!!!!!!

Thats just a boring story of somebody's menial job, not a howya-ism.
Windsock, that was a good one

syklops

Standing on Mainstreet in blackrock having a smoke, a white stretched limo pulls up, and the door opens and I get a look inside. Champagne, telly on and about eight or nine skangers inside in their finery blinged out to the max. One individual jumps out of the car and says to the others:

"Jaysus! Im dying for a bleedin slash!"

I laughed so much I got the hiccups!

balon

Was in a chipper on Collins Ave on a Sunday night after closing time in Kitty Kiernan's. While waiting for our order a chap more than worthy of BGRH brethrenship orders a salad burger and chips. Guy behind the counter goes back and returns saying he had no tomatoes. Fine. Comes back again to say no lettuce, when the customer very loudly goes 'Do I look like I'm here for the fookan green stuff!'

AshTrollyDolly

at the time of the whole lisbon treaty vote, there was a massive campaign sign of the man of the northside, Mr. Ahern. Anyway this poster was against someones railings on clonliffe road....someone had drawn a bubble conversation coming outta berties mouth sayin... "I won it on de horses"....hilarious!!!!

Fishyfreak

A gang of skangers standing on a street corner, a little fat kid is spotted by the gang and the start to shuffle and wait for him to walk by.

The kid is weighed down by two bags of shopping and is waddling down the street, as he passes the skangers one of them says "Yaaa liiitle faaahh F*ckerrrrr".

The kid as cool as can be stops in his tracks, calmly places his two shopping bags on the ground and replies:

"I'm only this fat 'cos everytime I ride your ma she gives me a slice of cake".

Original skanger is speechless, rest of the skangers erupt into laughter and kid picks up his bags and walks on. Brilliant!