Howeya-isms

IvaBigWun · 31-07-2008 11:08AM #1

Could be an urban legend but!

There's a story that has been passed around over the years and apparently the source is the Dublin Bus driver who witnessed it in all its glory

Picture the scene:

Rush hour. Full bus. Traveling through north Dublin. Two oul wans sitting behind driver with their tartan two- wheeled trolleys.

Bus stops.

Dwarf gets on.

Young lady stands up and offers seat to vertically challenged man. Small guy replies with indignant tirade about not being disabled blah blah. Young woman gets off in shame and embarrassment. Two oul wans stare daggers at small guy (as does rest of bus).

Eventually, small guy gets up for his stop. When at door, oul wan leans over and says….

Wait for it…

“Here you, I hope when you get home that Snow White bates the bollix out of ye…”

So over to you, I know its another skanger thread but at least in this one we can laugh at them instead of the usual "they tried to stab me to death with an umbrella" stories.

Think of it as "Overheard In Dublin .... and then I ran away as fast as I could"

Quazzie · 31-07-2008 11:09AM

funniest ever!

minxie · 31-07-2008 11:11AM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Could be an urban legend but!

There's a story that has been passed around over the years and apparently the source is the Dublin Bus driver who witnessed it in all its glory

Picture the scene:

Rush hour. Full bus. Traveling through north Dublin. Two oul wans sitting behind driver with their tartan two- wheeled trolleys.

Bus stops.

Dwarf gets on.

Young lady stands up and offers seat to vertically challenged man. Small guy replies with indignant tirade about not being disabled blah blah. Young woman gets off in shame and embarrassment. Two oul wans stare daggers at small guy (as does rest of bus).

Eventually, small guy gets up for his stop. When at door, oul wan leans over and says….

Wait for it…

“Here you, I hope when you get home that Snow White bates the bollix out of ye…”

So over to you, I know its another skanger thread but at least in this one we can laugh at them instead of the usual "they tried to stab me to death with an umbrella" stories.

hee hee now thats put a smile on my face:)

Gone West · 31-07-2008 11:13AM

(similar urban legend from the north side)

Theres the one about the group of american tourists outside connolly station.
About 5 of them, and all elderly American women.
They're looking at a tourist map unsuccessfully trying to find the airport.
Dismayed, one spots a gang of D1 locals walking around a corner.
She says "hey, lets ask that group of athletes"

dade · 31-07-2008 11:14AM

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

ntlbell · 31-07-2008 11:15AM

There was a thread I think on the propertypin where two aul wans were overheard talking on a bus

something like

Mary: Je see the bleedin house prices josey going down like the titanic
Josie: I know mary, we should of died last year

ntlbell · 31-07-2008 11:16AM

dade wrote: »

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

LOL I heard this before, that's a classic

Jumpy · 31-07-2008 11:17AM

dade wrote: »

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

Obviously a fake. No bus driver would be educated enough to know who Quasimodo was.

minxie · 31-07-2008 11:17AM

dade wrote: »

isn't there suppose to be one about some Muppet keeps ringing the bell to get off the bus and the driver makes an announcement asking Quasimodo to take his hand off the button or something like that

On the way home from work on the bus. It's packed, it's hot and everyone is well and truly p***ed off (including the driver). The UCD stop comes up and the bell rings. Then the bell rings again and again and again and again. Obviously each person getting off thought they were the first to do it. Suddenly the bus driver slams on the brakes, turns on the intercom and roars at the entire bus....

"Will yis stop ringing the bleedin' bell, who the f**k do yis think I am?? I' not f***in Quasimodo!!!!!

Absolutely classic, the entire bus cracked up!

pickarooney · 31-07-2008 11:19AM

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

(similar urban legend from the north side)

Theres the one about the group of american tourists outside connolly station.
About 5 of them, and all elderly American women.
They're looking at a tourist map unsuccessfully trying to find the airport.
Dismayed, one spots a gang of D1 locals walking around a corner.
She says "hey, lets ask that group of athletes"

Hmm... my sister-in-law said she actually overheard that conversation.

IvaBigWun · 31-07-2008 11:20AM

Just to add that it doesnt have to be just bus stories. As long as it involves scary and unintentionally funny skangers and things you've overheard them say that'll do

pickarooney · 31-07-2008 11:20AM

Jumpy wrote: »

Obviously a fake. No bus driver would be educated enough to know who Quasimodo was.

Disney?

PurpleBerry · 31-07-2008 11:28AM

This isn't mine but I'll share

An American family group had just arrived in Ireland at Shannon when one of their little kids went missing. After an immediate frantic but fruitless search the Grandad burst out with - “Don’t worry! The kid can’t get off the island!”

from http://www.overheardinusa.com/?paged=6

IvaBigWun · 31-07-2008 11:30AM

Neesa wrote: »

This isn't mine but I'll share

An American family group had just arrived in Ireland at Shannon when one of their little kids went missing. After an immediate frantic but fruitless search the Grandad burst out with - “Don’t worry! The kid can’t get off the island!”

from http://www.overheardinusa.com/?paged=6

Thats an American-ism surely? :P

PurpleBerry · 31-07-2008 11:32AM

Ooh, probably. it was overheard in ireland though.

You're right, it's a bit of a stretch.

minxie · 31-07-2008 11:35AM

just found this:
Picture the scene...

3 girls(housemates), locked,in a taxi,on the way home from the nightclub, jaded, did I metion locked?
We've all had a pretty rough night, everybody is talking but no one is listening to each other.

Housemate #1(just after a bad break up with boyfriend of one a half years): 'why is he ignoring me, why is this all happening,is it too much to ask to be civil....pr**k'

Housemate #2(in the process of breaking up with boyfriend): 'why is he ignoring the situation, why cant we just talk, im going insane....pr**k'

Me (just after being completely snubbed by a guy I had been hooking up with,including the PREVIOUS night): 'why is he ignoring me, he was in my bed less than 24 hours ago....pr**k'

Taxi driver: *accelaration of taxi*

IvaBigWun · 31-07-2008 11:37AM

Neesa wrote: »

Ooh, probably. it was overheard in ireland though.

You're right, it's a bit of a stretch.

This is the "overheard funny stuff said by skangers" thread

*slap*

Although there's plenty of American knackers too they dont quite have the same way with words like our special people.

Pighead · 31-07-2008 11:47AM

Pighead was on a bus once doing the moderate level crossword in one of the Sunday papers. Got stuck on 4 across "To tar everyone with the same brush", ten letters.

Dirty rotten stinkin howya in a dirty rotten stinkin tracksuit who was sitting in the seat behind, tapped Pighead on the shoulder and in the dirtiest rottenist stinkin Dublin accent uttered "generalise". "Cheers bud" said Pighead. And with that the crossword was done. Will never forget it.

jimi_t · 31-07-2008 11:48AM

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

(similar urban legend from the north side)

Theres the one about the group of american tourists outside connolly station.
About 5 of them, and all elderly American women.
They're looking at a tourist map unsuccessfully trying to find the airport.
Dismayed, one spots a gang of D1 locals walking around a corner.
She says "hey, lets ask that group of athletes"

There's a similar one along the lines of this.

Some foreign celebrity of some description is opening a shopping centre or some such (think along the lines of The Square). All is going well until his speech

'It is with great honour that I officially open this Sports Centre, with the hope tha...'

Cue an official sprinting up to the podium to have a 'quiet word'. Pause. Muffled indignation over the PA system

'...then why are they all wearing tracksuits?'

Fajitas! · 31-07-2008 11:50AM

I got on the 123 up to Thomas St. from O Connell St, and a junkie had found himself a nice place to have a nap. When we got to Dame st, a pregnant woman, with very poor english and an attitude problem, looking for James Hospital got on... She was in the late late stages of her pregnancy.

The bus went on up to Christchurch, when pregnant lady got up and started screaming abuse at the (Black) bus driver, pretty much telling him that he should drive her up to Cork St, to the hospital there... She got pretty nasty, racist and loud.

Junkie wakes up and exclaims VERY loudly:

"If she has tha' baby on this bus, I'll bleedin' get sick all ooover her"

Cue hysterics from a lot of the bus. Pregnant lady shuts up and gets up at next stop.

/win

Gone West · 31-07-2008 11:51AM

Neesa wrote: »

This isn't mine but I'll share

None of them are anybodies.

Including the chick who says her sister in law heard it.
She was merely passing off someone elses anecdote as her own.

nice1franko · 31-07-2008 11:52AM

www.overheardindublin.com some good uns there

IvaBigWun · 31-07-2008 11:57AM

nice1franko wrote: »

www.overheardindublin.com some good uns there

These are Boardsies stories (or should that be storrrrryyyys?) of things they overheard specifically skangers say.

Thanks for link in anyways (bud)

A_M101 · 31-07-2008 11:59AM

My housemate was hopping off the bus and said thanks to the bus driver, he goes "No worries, I was heading this way anyway!"

31-07-2008 12:00PM

Couple of personal ones that I've definitely heard/seen:

In changing rooms in Seán McDermott St. swimming pool: "Sure who'd give us jobs......we're crinimals".

and

scrawled on ceiling of 20b bus....."Michelle is a sluh"

IvaBigWun · 31-07-2008 12:00PM

A_M101 wrote: »

My housemate was hopping off the bus and said thanks to the bus driver, he goes "No worries, I was heading this way anyway!"

Degsy · 31-07-2008 12:35PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Couple of personal ones that I've definitely heard/seen:

In changing rooms in Seán McDermott St. swimming pool: "Sure who'd give us jobs......we're crinimals".

and

scrawled on ceiling of 20b bus....."Michelle is a sluh"

Howth Junction and surrounding area at various times

OlYpic Raveres

AISLING BYRNE LOVES THE GAURDS

JOEY COSTELLO IS AN PAID IFORMER.PAID,TRUE.

GARDA SCUMB BAGS

doonothing · 31-07-2008 12:46PM

When I worked in the cinema, I was she came up and asked for 2 tickets to "appy...polly...colly...lyppo... whatever the new bleedin Mel Gibson film is called"

GirlInterrupted · 31-07-2008 12:54PM

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead was on a bus once doing the moderate level crossword in one of the Sunday papers. Got stuck on 4 across "To tar everyone with the same brush", ten letters.

Dirty rotten stinkin howya in a dirty rotten stinkin tracksuit who was sitting in the seat behind, tapped Pighead on the shoulder and in the dirtiest rottenist stinkin Dublin accent uttered "generalise". "Cheers bud" said Pighead. And with that the crossword was done. Will never forget it.

I love that story. Promise its true????:D

Latchy · 31-07-2008 01:09PM

Reminds me of the incdent which also happened on a dublin bus about 7 ,8 years ago in which the bus driver referred to an unstable passenger who was about to get off the bus with the comment '' ah sure dont mind him , he's only being let out for the day '' .This comment was reported by somebody, perhaps the passenger himself and cost Dublin bus a large fine .

Blisterman · 31-07-2008 01:16PM

This one was me http://www.overheardindublin.com/story.php?id=5276

After the Leinster-Ulster game in the RDS last christmas, me and my friend decided to have a quick ride on the roller coaster in Funderland. As the train went up the chains, we overhear in the carrige behind us.

Skanger #1: "Jaysus, Wudja look at this, me bar is loose!"
Skanger #2: "Don't worry, it's fine!"
Skanger #1: "Well, if I fall out, when it goes upside down, I'll murder ya!"

Howeya-isms

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