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What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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    #542
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Wah hoo!

    /wees on the right side


    They alwaaays want that side. ;)
    You sleep on a waterbed abie ?

    Ah sheeet I get sea sick :D






    Psst - I aint got a pee fetish yet


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    #543
    Queen-Mise
    Registered Users Posts: 7,461 ✭✭✭Queen-Mise


    Couldn't be bother checking whether anyone else had mentioned this one, thread is too long. but a certain kevin bloody wilson song comes to mind.

    'Do you fcuk on first dates? does your dad own a brewery? can i feel your tits, or would you show them to me? Cos you got a nice head and you look pretty honest. so my face will be leaving in quater of an hour and i would like you to be on it.'


    A link for those who are interested.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeWAdzFmI10


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    #544
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    ".....you're bigger than you look through the telescope......"


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    #545
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Do the whole date in the voice of Mickey Mouse. The entire thing.

    From the time you meet, during the meal, everything. Then after a few drinks start crying into your drink cos "Minnie got married last week to Pluto"


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    #546
    V1llianous
    Registered Users Posts: 845 ✭✭✭V1llianous


    steo87 wrote: »
    Well its not something I said...more something we saw:
    Out on a date last year with a girl - we went to the cinema, as ya do. We decided to see Straightheads (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straightheads) as it looked good, Gillian Anderson and Danny Dyer were in it, so it might be some sorta indie up and coming film............
    Holy jesus.......it was the worst thing I could ever have done - a girl gets raped in it.....not the type of film to bring a girl to on the first date!

    I had a similar incident first date with my wife was to Boy's Don't Cry :eek: - we agreed to disregard that as a first date and counted a trip to Howth instead for some reason :D


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    #547
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    "In this current economic climate"



    "Taking the current economic climate into account, the dinner and hotel is off. Ive sambos, a flask of tae and a Tesco bag. If we doggy-style you'll be able to see ducks"


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    #548
    R0ot
    Registered Users Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭R0ot


    You remind me of <insert word meaning any sort of relation here>


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    #549
    GiftofGab
    Registered Users Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭GiftofGab


    How much for sex??


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    #550
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    "Would you be willing to breast-feed me?"


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    #551
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Man: "Would you be willing to milk my breasts?"


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    #552
    n1ck
    Registered Users Posts: 2,084 ✭✭✭n1ck


    I have the best candy.. just ask Maddie.


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    #553
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Can I have your knickers before ya go? ... Something to remember you by. *salivates*

    /boner


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    #554
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Can I wear your knickers before ya go? ... Something to masturbate to later"


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    #555
    RoosterIllusion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 395 ✭✭RoosterIllusion


    "...but it cleared up after a dose of antibiotics"


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    #556
    az2wp0sye65487
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,931 ✭✭✭az2wp0sye65487


    DARKIZE wrote: »
    Did you SEEEEEEEEEEE Pete Doherty on the Late Late ohmigawd ohmigawd ohmigawd he's SOOOOOOOOO like a total babe like and I know he's a druggie like but my friend Saoirse who's like my TOOOOOOtal very best friend like says that's because he's a genius like and like HELLLLLOOOOO ? like everybody knows that its ok to be a junkie like if you're a genius and he used to go out with Kate Moss or was it Jodie Kidd.....anyway she is SOOOOOOOO gorgeous ohmigawd ohmigawd I wish I had legs and she wears these TOOOOTally amazing shoes...............why are you putting your coat on ?

    We have a winner


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    #557
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    PULL MY FINGER!!!:mad:


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    #558
    TheIrishGrover
    Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭TheIrishGrover


    You have your mother's lips... but my eyes


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    #559
    Biggins
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 34,567 ✭✭✭✭Biggins


    Yes, I'm into nude photography of beautiful women.
    ...Aaa, no thanks. I don't want to take your picture!


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    #560
    LouOB
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,181 ✭✭✭LouOB


    Is it ok that I brought the kids along?

    Its just that myself and the missus arent getting on lately


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    #561
    Guru Maith Agut
    Registered Users Posts: 968 ✭✭✭Guru Maith Agut


    Is that your cock or your feet I can smell? :eek:


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    #562
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    "Your voice is doing my head in. Put yore mouth to good use and gwan under the table and givuz a quick gobble job."

    *stolen*

    Her: Im gonna give you the best blooow jay evvurrr!

    /pukes everywhere


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    #563
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi Im Ashley Cole"


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    #564
    Junco Partner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,291 ✭✭✭Junco Partner


    it's so nice that after all the months of stalking you, goin through your rubbish and robbing your underware that i finally get to meet you in person
    but enough about me


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    #565
    Junco Partner
    Registered Users Posts: 2,291 ✭✭✭Junco Partner


    Ultimate Chin wrote: »
    PULL MY FINGER!!!:mad:
    are you speaking from personal experience


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    #566
    Alessandra
    Registered Users Posts: 1,276 ✭✭✭Alessandra


    Him: So what is it you do?
    Her: Well actually I'm a female impersonator...


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    #567
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "Hi Im John Terry"


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    #568
    OutlawPete
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,689 ✭✭✭✭OutlawPete


    "Do you still have your school uniform from when you went to school?"


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    #569
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    "The finger goes in the circle I made with my forefinger and thumb. In and out. See? In and out. See?"


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    #570
    Immanuel_CAN
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20 ✭Immanuel_CAN


    "I love you"


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    #571
    Giselle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,540 ✭✭✭Giselle


    ''And the first thing I'm going to buy, when I'm finally finished all the reassignment surgery, is a pair of leggings!''


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