A relationship break????

Erica-smiley

Just wanted to know what any girls thought on this....

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and a half, we're both going on seperate leaving cert holidays this year (him to ayia napa and me to puerto rico)! We dont know whether or not to go on a break for the time we're both away...... just incase any1 gets off with any1 else? That way no1 gets hurt!

Would appreciate any advice any1 has on this thanks!

easyontheeye

so what you gonna do, take a short term break every time either one of you go away ?:rolleyes:

Latchy

Sounds like your not to sure about each otherwise you wouldent be thinking along those lines .In some cases if one or both of you gets off as you say with sombody while on hioliday ,then it is best kept secret by both of you .What you dont know wont harm you nudge nudge ,wink wink .

It might jusr be best if you do break up for the holiday period .

Niamho!

easyontheeye wrote: »

so what you gonna do, take a short term break every time either one of you go away ?:rolleyes:

was thinkin that too...

if ya wanna be with other people why ya together?

mike65

So this is the point we've reached is it? Half-expecting your other half to "cop off" while on the razz in some 'post-leaving' hell hole?

Either you are together or you are not. Make your minds up.

Mike.

jellie

ok in theory you think this makes sense.

but have you thought about how you would feel if you found out hed been with someone else? what if hes with lots of girls & youre not with anyone?

to be honest, when ive loved someone ive had no desire to be with someone else. maybe im just weird

TerrorFirmer

We dont know whether or not to go on a break for the time we're both away...... just incase any1 gets off with any1 else? That way no1 gets hurt!

If getting with other people looses any sort of emotional impact simply because you're on an 'official' break then you're better off single anyway.

takola

Well do you honestly think that just because you're "on a break" you're not going to be hurt if he gets off with someone else? Or are you hoping to get off with someone else too?

If that's the case then just go on the break.

Cathmandooo

Erica-smiley wrote: »

Just wanted to know what any girls thought on this....

My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and a half, we're both going on seperate leaving cert holidays this year (him to ayia napa and me to puerto rico)! We dont know whether or not to go on a break for the time we're both away...... just incase any1 gets off with any1 else? That way no1 gets hurt!

Would appreciate any advice any1 has on this thanks!

Bad bad idea. Either break up completely or stay together, a 'break' will only lead to complications. Ye either want to be together or you don't. Make up your minds.

p

You're both pretty young and sounds like you want to experience things etc... So breaking up probably is a good idea. At your age it'd be quite easy to resent your partner if you're looking to spread your wings a little.

However, don't expect someone not to get hurt, that's probably going to happen.

Good luck!

iPoker

easyontheeye wrote: »

so what you gonna do, take a short term break every time either one of you go away ?:rolleyes:

jeez i should try organise a break every friday night

iPoker

latchyco wrote: »

Sounds like your not to sure about each otherwise you wouldent be thinking along those lines .In some cases if one or both of you gets off as you say with sombody while on hioliday ,then it is best kept secret by both of you .What you dont know wont harm you nudge nudge ,wink wink .

It might jusr be best if you do break up for the holiday period .

they're only 17/18.....if i could redo it all, stay single til your 30 - maximise your oportunities

John Mason

just have an open relationship which is bascially what you appear to be suggesting. that way you dont have to take breaks when you want to go out on a saturday night

Latchy

iPoker wrote: »

they're only 17/18.....if i could redo it all, stay single til your 30 - maximise your oportunities

a lot of 17/18 year olds play the field at that age before they decide it's only one person they really want to be with and reading between the lines that seems to be the OP s situation .

I do think it's good to go out and expierence a bit rather than be sad in a ' tied down to young ' boy/girlfriend stiuation

Erica-smiley

I'm starting to think that maybe its not a great idea like I thought lol!

But I mean everyone gets locked on holiday and does stupid things so is it not inevitable anyway?
I dont particularly want to get off with anyone else....... but silly things happen on holidays!!!!!

jellie

Erica-smiley wrote: »

I'm starting to think that maybe its not a great idea like I thought lol!

But I mean everyone gets locked on holiday and does stupid things so is it not inevitable anyway?
I dont particularly want to get off with anyone else....... but silly things happen on holidays!!!!!

What? why is it inevitable? i can get drunk & not be with other people? do you need to take a break when you go on a night out?

Cathmandooo

Erica-smiley wrote: »

I'm starting to think that maybe its not a great idea like I thought lol!

But I mean everyone gets locked on holiday and does stupid things so is it not inevitable anyway?
I dont particularly want to get off with anyone else....... but silly things happen on holidays!!!!!

:eek::eek: If you're meant to be faithful to your OH then holidays and drunkeness are no excuse to be unfaithful.

Break up with him and go off with all the guys you want. Be prepared for the consequences, he mightnt want you back.

Black Swan

latchyco wrote: »

Sounds like your not to sure about each otherwise you wouldent be thinking along those lines

Indeed! Get real OP! Sounds like you are still shopping? It would appear that you have a de facto "open" relationship without serious commitment? If so, then such "breaks" would not be uncommon?

siobhan.murphy

which one of ye suggested the break in the first place??????

Erica-smiley

siobhan.murphy wrote: »

which one of ye suggested the break in the first place??????

I suggested it!!!
I know where people are coming from about having a break every weekend then.... but we've never so much as broken up before and we're both really into eachother but if I did(or he did) get off with someone at least then I wouldnt feel terrible because I'd know we were a break!!!!

Pyr0

Would you still not feel bad knowing the guy you're really into got off with someone else ? Regardless if it was a break or not ?

I don't see how a break takes away your feelings for someone.

takola

Pyr0 wrote: »

Would you still not feel bad knowing the guy you're really into got off with someone else ? Regardless if it was a break or not ?

I don't see how a break takes away your feelings for someone.

Exactly! If you're really into him you won't care whether or not you're on a break or not, You'll still be hurt by the fact that he's with someone else! (Even if it is a once off) At least that's how I thought it was supposed to be!

Doesn't sound like you're too bothered about him tbh. You're young, It's understandable that you'd want to let your hair down on holidays.

What did he say when you suggested it?

Cathmandooo

Erica-smiley wrote: »

I suggested it!!!
I know where people are coming from about having a break every weekend then.... but we've never so much as broken up before and we're both really into eachother but if I did(or he did) get off with someone at least then I wouldnt feel terrible because I'd know we were a break!!!!

You've seen Friends havent you? If you go off with someone while you're with someone it'll always come back to haunt you. Cant you just behave yourself like you do when you're out without him?

John Mason

jaysis, i wonder how i have lasted for 15 years going holiday, getting drunk and not cheating

Oh yeah, I am a superhero, that why

sheesh!!!

Zulu

One of the best threads I've read in a long time! Nice one OP.

Why don't you just agree to stay together, but only have sex in the as$ with other people - that way you can be together and keep something special and private between yourselves, while being able to enjoy yourselves?

Erica-smiley

Zulu wrote: »

One of the best threads I've read in a long time! Nice one OP.

Why don't you just agree to stay together, but only have sex in the as$ with other people - that way you can be together and keep something special and private between yourselves, while being able to enjoy yourselves?

Hmmm..... I'm a bit sceptical about the sex in the as$ only idea lol!!!!!!

I definitely take on board though that someone is gonna get hurt by going on a break..... Dont think it could work really now because you could always use it as ammo later on.... Like in friends!!!!:D

A friend said to me what about playing the "what happens on holiday stays on holiday" card....
Would that ever work?

Zulu

Deffo wouldn't work. For a start, that's not a card you play, but an expression used to highlight a secret. Stating it would kinda expose the secret.

John Mason

Erica-smiley wrote: »

A friend said to me what about playing the "what happens on holiday stays on holiday" card....
Would that ever work?

can you just not go on holidays and keep your knickers on? tbh it really isnt a big deal and if it is that difficult for you, you need to dump your boyfriend because you obviously have no repsect for him or yourself for that matter

Erica-smiley

irishbird wrote: »

can you just not go on holidays and keep your knickers on? tbh it really isnt a big deal and if it is that difficult for you, you need to dump your boyfriend because you obviously have no repsect for him or yourself for that matter

Its not like that!:mad:

Zulu

It's not? I taught you wanted to take a break because you wanted to be with other people?

How are you going to do that with your knickers on??

echosound

Erica-smiley wrote: »

Its not like that!:mad:

What is it like then? You either love him, or you don't. If you think you are both going off on holiday with the intention of hooking up with other people, then you're not overly "committed" to each other, and TBH, at your age, that's not really a big deal.

Better to just break up properly if you both want to play the field though, as one of you will end up developing stronger feelings at some stage, and end up hurt. I don't see how going on a temporary break for the duration of holidays so you can both go off with other people is going to work. Either you're together, or you're not. Split up, play the field. Stay together, stay faithful. Or see if you are both into an open relationship, although that doesn't tend to work too often.

Would you be ok with having a temporary break when you're on a night out together and one or the other of you spots someone you fancy - would you take a quick 20 minute break so you can have a snog and then get back together? Lunacy.

justsomebloke

Erica-smiley wrote: »

Its not like that!:mad:

not from where everyone else is standing.

I hate to do it but I have to put it down to your age that you are actually to young to be in a responsible relationship. If you don't see a problem with breaking up with your partner cause you don't think you can trust them then there is a major problem.

Truthfully I think probably best just to break up with him now cause chances are that once yous move on to the next stage in your life be it college or full time employment you will be in a positions where once again you probably won't be able to trust each other and will have to take a break every so often

Maple

Good God have you never watched an episode of Friends? (apologies for facetious remark)

Seriously OP, no to the break suggestion. Its a total cop out. You're either in the relationship or you're not.

Rozabeez

You get locked and have the opportunity to do stupid things at home too, being in another country doesn't make a difference.

Sounds like you want the freedom to experience new guys but without losing the relationship you have, problem is, doesn't work that way. It's one or the other.

SarahSassy

Whose idea was the 'holiday break'??????

Eviledna

In fairness, the OP may not be having sex, so it could be possible to "be" with someone else whilst maintaining knickerage.

OP, your post reads as flippant and a little immature, but you are 17/18 so thats entirely possible. I'm guessing that this fella isn't to be your husband. Break up with him if you are even entertaining the notion of being with someone else on holidays, or think that he may be entertaining that notion. If it is even an option that you may allow "silly things that happen on holidays" to happen, then it is already over in your head.
Don't cheat. It is nasty and ultimately self-destructive.

Dimitri

eviledna wrote: »

In fairness, the OP may not be having sex, so it could be possible to "be" with someone else whilst maintaining knickerage.

OP, your post reads as flippant and a little immature, but you are 17/18 so thats entirely possible. I'm guessing that this fella isn't to be your husband. Break up with him if you are even entertaining the notion of being with someone else on holidays, or think that he may be entertaining that notion. If it is even an option that you may allow "silly things that happen on holidays" to happen, then it is already over in your head.
Don't cheat. It is nasty and ultimately self-destructive.

I disagree, they are young, too young prehaps to share all the trappings of a proper relationship but if they are both sure that the feelings they share are mutual though not all that strong there is no reason that they cant have a short break while away on hols and upon their return agree to return to their exclusive arrangement. What you say is true about cheating being self destrucitive in a serious relationship but the op's doesn't really sound like its true love.

watna

Unfortunately you can't turn your emotions off because your brain knows you were on a break. It just doesn't work like that.

Either you want to be together or not. You are really young so I understand you wanting to go off with your mates and have a good time. If you don't you'll regret it.

However, if you feel you need to score random men to have fun (and it is loads of fun!) then you probably shouldn't be going out with someone for that long. Being in a relationship means commitment which means neither of you "should accidently get off with someone". Either your bf is worth keeping your tongue to yourself for 2 weeks or you decide you want to have fun more than a bf. You can't turn it off for a week for the laugh.

I'm sorry you didn't hear what you want to hear but let me tell you, I don't think I've ever seen a LL thread where everyone agreed, (even Irishbird!) so I really think that should tell you something. It's not a good idea.

Erica-smiley

watna wrote: »

Unfortunately you can't turn your emotions off because your brain knows you were on a break. It just doesn't work like that.

Either you want to be together or not. You are really young so I understand you wanting to go off with your mates and have a good time. If you don't you'll regret it.

However, if you feel you need to score random men to have fun (and it is loads of fun!) then you probably shouldn't be going out with someone for that long. Being in a relationship means commitment which means neither of you "should accidently get off with someone". Either your bf is worth keeping your tongue to yourself for 2 weeks or you decide you want to have fun more than a bf. You can't turn it off for a week for the laugh.

I'm sorry you didn't hear what you want to hear but let me tell you, I don't think I've ever seen a LL thread where everyone agreed, (even Irishbird!) so I really think that should tell you something. It's not a good idea.

I think you're probably right about that last bit :D

mollybird

well the people that you are going on hols with. are they all single or is there anyone else going on the hols that is with someone they are not taking?? if all your mates are single is that why you want this break and you don't want to be the odd one out?

Jules

maple wrote: »

Good God have you never watched an episode of Friends? (apologies for facetious remark)

Seriously OP, no to the break suggestion. Its a total cop out. You're either in the relationship or you're not.

My thoughts exactly Maple... all i can hear is Ross screaming " We were on a break".

I do think that if you are secure in your relationship there is no need for a break. You can go out with your friends have a few and have a good time. Unless there is someone in your group your already eyeing up. If there are lads in the group your going with that is. I'm not suggesting girl/girl action.

So, if your happy and confident don't go on a break. But if you have any doubts... break up.