Bad manners to use first name

rediguana

I'm not crazy about strangers calling me by name, but I'm not sure what the alternative is.

Saruman

Never use anyone's second name unless i do not know their first name.
I find it the opposite... I thought Irish people on the whole deal on a first name basis and that this second name nonsense was a British thing. I remember in Gateway it used to get on the nerves of a lot of the English customers.. though the scotts and welsh did not give a crap

I am rarely ever addressed by my surname... usually only my first name.. If someone called me by my surname i would look at them oddly.
I go from site to site and always deal in first names when i meet a customer for the first time. I have never got a dirty look.

chill out, there are more important things to worry about in life than someone calling you by youy first name, a thing im sure is left over in some people from English rule.

Oh and congrats... 35 posts and off to a flying start insulting members of boards

thefinalstage

Saruman wrote: »

Never use anyone's second name unless i do not know their first name.
I find it the opposite... I thought Irish people on the whole deal on a first name basis and that this second name nonsense was a British thing. I remember in Gateway it used to get on the nerves of a lot of the English customers.. though the scotts and welsh did not give a crap

I am rarely ever addressed by my surname... usually only my first name.. If someone called me by my surname i would look at them oddly.
I go from site to site and always deal in first names when i meet a customer for the first time. I have never got a dirty look.

chill out, there are more important things to worry about in life than someone calling you by youy first name, a thing im sure is left over in some people from English rule.

Oh and congrats... 35 posts and off to a flying start insulting members of boards

Look at his age.

egan007

adharc wrote: »

I hate people I don't know calling me by my first name. This is prevalent by businesses and firms on the telephone. It is just bad manners. In France and germany you must know the person well before you can use tu or du. Calling a person one doesn't know by their first name is quite an invasion of their personal space.

Take a gun, climb a bell tower.

.........'all i said was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah'
.........'Blasphemer!'
....Monty python LOB

Dun laoire

nipplenuts wrote: »

If you provide your first name expect it to be used. Don't provide it if you don't want it used (introduce yourself as Mr adharc instead of Trevor adharc). You'll be grand.

You've nailed it right on the head.

Earthhorse

adharc wrote: »

I hate people I don't know calling me by my first name. This is prevalent by businesses and firms on the telephone. It is just bad manners.

daveirl wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Thaedydal wrote: »

It it good manners and proper equiette not to call a person by thier first name unles invited to do so otherwise it is being over familiar.

When I first started dealing with customers over the phone I would always address them by their surname. I soon gave up on this however as firstly, most people immediately asked me to stop doing it and secondly, I felt it created a distance between you and the client; I agree they weren't my friends but to treat them so informally felt almost cold.

Personally I prefer to be addressed by my first name; it feels to me that using surnames creates the reverse effect nowadays - it sounds like you're patronising someone, addressing them as you would a child.

18AD

Hide behind your miscreant shrowd of secrecy, mister.

This would be more understandable when you're a young man and your title is master!

watna

I used to hate when banks etc rang me up and called me by my first name, until I started working. Now I realise how stuffy and stand-offish it would be to call everyone mr and ms/mrs. I spend a lot of my day phoning/emailing people and always say Hi John or Hi Sarah. I have no problem being called by my first name by people, in fact it's more natural and friendly and starts your dealings with people off ona friendly foot. Everyone that calls me says Hi watna.....

It's just very old fashioned these days. If you don't like being called by your first name correct them and say Mr Harc (they'll think you're so cool btw!) or just don't give peope your first name. It's simple!

Dudess

thelastangryman wrote: »

Adharc is a snobby inbred **** bag with little grasp of the English language and he smells like...an Elephants butt!

*He deserves it....*

Don't abuse other members - even if you're doing it partially in jest.

chakotha

Talk about standing on ceremony!

Remembering such nonsense as how to address the many, many people you might regularly speak to in your day to day professional capacity before even speaking is a waste of time and grey matter IMO

Doctor DooM

When I was in sales one company I worked for wanted us to call our customers by their first name. They wanted us to do this by reading it off their credit cards without telling them so they would be impressed by our mad psychic skillz. I never once did this because it was wrong on many levels.

What I DID do though is have a large customer base who knew my name and I knew theirs, through, you know, doing my job and giving them good advice.

You can see with some people they love coming into a shop and getting someone who remembers them. Other people are a bit too stuffy for that.

coffee_cake

everyone in work uses first names with each other and brokers and clients
so i follow suit
even emails are addressed as "Hi -firstname-" :eek: thats if they bother addressing and signing it off at all
i like the first name thing, we dont all need an excuse to be more distant from each other

BKtje

The state body that i work has it as policy to address everyone within the organisation by their first name. Emails going out are more a do as you think best scenario though.
I use formal language just not the honourisms (or whatever they called).

ejmaztec

What about the people who call you by your initials, when they can't figure out what your proper name is?

eg "Good morning DJ"

The Real B-man

Don't call me Len, you prick. Refer to me as 'Bishop Brennan'!

nice1franko

Saruman wrote: »

Never use anyone's second name unless i do not know their first name.
I find it the opposite... I thought Irish people on the whole deal on a first name basis and that this second name nonsense was a British thing. I remember in Gateway it used to get on the nerves of a lot of the English customers.. though the scotts and welsh did not give a crap

I am rarely ever addressed by my surname... usually only my first name.. If someone called me by my surname i would look at them oddly.
I go from site to site and always deal in first names when i meet a customer for the first time. I have never got a dirty look.

chill out, there are more important things to worry about in life than someone calling you by youy first name, a thing im sure is left over in some people from English rule.

eggs
zacly

Earthhorse

B-K-DzR wrote: »

I use formal language just not the honourisms (or whatever they called).

Honorifics, I think.

FunkZ

adharc wrote: »

I hate people I don't know calling me by my first name. This is prevalent by businesses and firms on the telephone. It is just bad manners. In France and germany you must know the person well before you can use tu or du. Calling a person one doesn't know by their first name is quite an invasion of their personal space.

I'd say you'd be a great ball of fun to be friends with.

FunkZ

The Real B-man wrote: »

Don't call me Len, you prick. Refer to me as 'Bishop Brennan'!

Ha ya just made me laugh!

RandolphEsq

I not only call people by their first names, but by their full first names
e.g. Vikki; Victoria
Alex; Alexander
and so forth

Overheal

its an irish thing - everyone uses first names. If someone called me Mr. Charron I'd just assume I was in some kind of trouble. Or she was flirting with me.

connundrum

Possibly the most trivial thing I've heard of all day.

If someone called me Sir, I'd look around me for the old man that I'd presume was being referred to - same goes for Mister.

Apart from my first name, I don't know what people would refer to me as - 'Hey... You there!'

What I do hate is when people you don't know take your first name, and then add a twist to it, just for sh1ts and giggles.

My name is David, and I'll accept David or Dave. Several times random people have come on the phone calling me Davey, Davo, Davester (really!). I refuse to respond until they call me by one of my two preferred names.

Caveat

As intimated, the Irish are considerably less formal than the English in this repsect - and most other Europeans for that matter.

E.g. A plumber calling for the first time in England would never dream of using first name terms with their customer.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I work in sales and I almost never use Mr/Ms with my potential customers - hasn't done me any harm as far as I can see. Anyone looking for my business almost always uses my first name too. A friendly, courteous and professional manner is far more important I think.

When dealing with e.g. French/Germans (as I do regularly) I always use Mr/Ms - as I know they expect it.

As a nation we are probably too informal in general - to the extent whereby I would now regard the "Mr" thing as antiquated.

Red Hand

Mr adharc wrote: »

I hate people I don't know calling me by my first name. This is prevalent by businesses and firms on the telephone. It is just bad manners. In France and germany you must know the person well before you can use tu or du. Calling a person one doesn't know by their first name is quite an invasion of their personal space.

Dear Mr adharc,

In response to your recent statement, I have reviewed my policy when engaging with you by face to face, by phone and by email, and from now on will address you as Mr adharc. I apologise if there was any offense or discomfort caused by my, admittedly, familiar tone.

I hope this will not effect our future working relationship.

Regards,

Jeremiah 16:1

coffee_cake

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Dear Mr adharc,

In response to your recent statement, I have reviewed my policy when engaging with you by face to face, by phone and by email, and from now on will address you as Mr adharc. I apologise if there was any offense or discomfort caused by my, admittedly, familiar tone.

I hope this will not effect our future working relationship.

Regards,

Jeremiah 16:1

Psst, it's "affect". Careful, he might get offended :eek:

Terry

adharc wrote: »

I hate people I don't know calling me by my first name. This is prevalent by businesses and firms on the telephone. It is just bad manners. In France and germany you must know the person well before you can use tu or du. Calling a person one doesn't know by their first name is quite an invasion of their personal space.

I'd just like to point out that this is not France or Germany.
We do not have the same customs as these countries.

In japan and Bajor, the surname is given first. Should we adopt that system?

Ciaran500

Caveat wrote: »

As a nation we are probably too informal in general - to the extent whereby I would now regard the "Mr" thing as antiquated.

Is that a bad thing?

Doctor DooM

Terry wrote: »

I'd just like to point out that this is not France or Germany.
We do not have the same customs as these countries.

In japan and Bajor, the surname is given first. Should we adopt that system?

Only if we get console games early or funky ear rings.

Red Hand

Miss bluewolf wrote: »

Psst, it's "affect". Careful, he might get offended :eek:

When you are quoting my posts, please use Mr 16:1.:mad:

A little courtesy goes along way.

ScumLord

I've always half wondered about this as I Email yankydoodles at work quite a bit and always use their first name even if they put Mr soandso at the bottom of the Email their full name is usually embeded in the Email somewhere and i use that. But I know they'll just think thats the way it must be done in Ireland.

Saying Mr just sounds mean like you don't like the person.