Manly Injuries

pretty-in-pink

Can I tell what my brother did? He tore ligaments in his ankle, badly, nearly off/through app- and he gave himself tennis elbow at the same time.

Zaph

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

nearly off/through app

Huh


How did he give himself tennis elbow while smashing up his ankle?

pretty-in-pink

zaph wrote: »

Huh


How did he give himself tennis elbow while smashing up his ankle?

I really don't know. Its meant to be very nasty. He prob did his ankle in playing footie- as for his elbow...popular theroy says a bizarre accident involving palm. I say its my kid bro, and must have something to do with the gym, and so is nice and clean and not dirty

Zaph

pretty-in-pink wrote: »

as for his elbow...popular theroy says a bizarre accident involving palm. I say its my kid bro, and must have something to do with the gym, and so is nice and clean and not dirty

Jaysus, I hope so. If you managed to give yourself tennis elbow w*nking, the pain in your elbow would be the least of your worries.

pretty-in-pink

Shhhhh my little bro doesn't do that......

Zaph

Sorry, of course he doesn't...

smooth operater

well at 3 y/o i was scolded badly (3rd degree) all over my chest.....scars are still there 18 years later!!!!
skin grafts were carried out from my legs.....those scars are also still there.....

If i had a camera i'd show yez!!

trout

zaph wrote: »

Jaysus, I hope so. If you managed to give yourself tennis elbow w*nking, the pain in your elbow would be the least of your worries.

I have reason to believe that excessive billy-blanking generates a condition known as "Popeye's Forearm"

*quickly rolls down shirt sleeves*

pretty-in-pink

zaph wrote: »

Sorry, of course he doesn't...

Exactly

5starpool

ruthiedv wrote: »

You haven't really lived till you've had an episiotomy:eek:

The first time i found out what this was (I had to ask recently when it came up in a conversation about a pregnant woman) I thought it was the most horrible sounding thing ever.

As for me, nothing too bad.

Crashed my tricycle when about 3 and knocked 2 front teeth out.

Sprained my ankle 3 times playing football, really badly once when bruised from toes to knee afterwards, and then broke the same ankle after jumping over a railing and not noticing I was about to come down on the edge of a kerb. It was right at the night of a stag party, so being a man, of course I went back to the pub, hobbled 1/2 mile to the nightclub, then had to hobble back from nightclub about a mile to the B+B in the rain as there were no taxis available. Went to casualty the next day.

Had a lucky escape after a night out in NY on my J1. Drinking heavily all day, got bought loads of whiskey by some wall street types who thought we were great because we were Irish, then went to bed. At some point woke up having to heave due to whiskey intolerance, made a dash for the bog, didn't make it and puked on the floor. Felt another wave coming, tried to make the bog this time, slipped in aforementioned puke and cracked head on a marble step which stopped me breaking my nose luckily. Still have a scar in my eyebrow from that one.

I forgot one.

When I was 12, being from the countryside where there was feck all to do, I thought it would be a great idea to walk around on top of the garden wall of a neighbours house, and it was to a point. That point was when I decided to hop from one post on a barbed wire fence to another. Unfortunately the post I stepped on first was rotten at the bottom and gave way, tumbling me through the barbed wire. This was followed by me standing up quietly, looking down at my leg and then realising that I had cut the hell out of my legs. I have scars on the side of my leg that look like this now.
....................................(knee)
...................................../
.................................../
................................./
.............................../
............................./
.........................../
........................./ ___
...................... / ___
...................../ ___
.................../

...................(crotch)

One of the short ones needed 29 stitches as it was so deep, then rest weren't stitched. Another couple of inches north and my eligibility for this forum may have come into doubt. *Shudder*

The dots above are to keep my 'drawing' intact.

Mr. CooL ICE

When I was in secondary school, I was playing in goals during a 5-a-side game at lunchtime. I dove to save the ball, and didn't have time to get up before the rebound. Therefore, I stretched out and somehow landed on my nuts, due to me being in an arched position. Ball still went in Cue me lying in dire agony on the ground surrounded by people who had no idea why I'm not moving

It wasn't a 'manly injury' as such, but an accident that led me to believe that sport and exercise are evil. My beer gut is looking well ever since

smashey

Meh, I've let you all have your say and there is nothing here to comapre to mine.

Exactly eight years ago I was jumped on by three lads and we had a right good scrap until the police came along and lifted us all (I wasn't in Ireland then). I was taken in to give a statement as I was "assaulted". My being assaulted didn't explain a broken jaw on one of the offenders and a broken nose on another. Anyway, at the end of the statement, the policeman asked if I required medical attention to which I replied no. I signed the statement and went to the toilet when the horror became apparent.

As I unzipped, there was blood everywhere. At this stage, I realised that the jeans and boxers would have to come down so I could get a closer look. To my utmost horror, one of my testicles was hanging out. :eek: That's right, hanging out through a gash in my scrotum. A delicate situation I'm sure you'll all agree. I did what anybody else would have done and pushed it back in. I then went back to the policeman and changed my statement. When he heard what had happened, he put me in the car a rushed me to the hospital. It was 3.30am and casualty was quite busy. I was seen immediately and ended up with ten (10) stitches in the sack. The next couple of days were torture.

The strange thing is that I didn't feel it happen. Adrenaline is a wonderful thing. The best thing to happen after this was I got an award at my then rugby club's annual awards night. Worst injury. I now have a nice 's' shaped scar as proof and I will not be posting a pic.

trout

smashey wrote: »

To my utmost horror, one of my testicles was hanging out. :eek: That's right, hanging out through a gash in my scrotum.

My own nuts tightenededed as I read that ... and not in a good way.

OK, if this fight took place outside a kebab shop, and there was strong drink involved, you are the winnah!

smashey

trout wrote: »

My own nuts tightenededed as I read that ... and not in a good way.

OK, if this fight took place outside a kebab shop, and there was strong drink involved, you are the winnah!

Outside a club.

trout

*glances down, involuntarily*

umm ... is everything ... ahhh ... working OK now ?

Zaph

Brother Smashey's story makes baby Jesus cry (and me unable to uncross my legs)

smashey

trout wrote: »

*glances down, involuntarily*

umm ... is everything ... ahhh ... working OK now ?

Sure is. I had to have check ups for a couple of months afterwards but it's all good.

smashey

zaph wrote: »

Brother Smashey's story makes baby Jesus cry (and me unable to uncross my legs)

I kind of look upon the scar as a badge of honour.

Kazobel

smashey wrote: »

Meh, I've let you all have your say and there is nothing here to comapre to mine.

Exactly eight years ago I was jumped on by three lads and we had a right good scrap until the police came along and lifted us all (I wasn't in Ireland then). I was taken in to give a statement as I was "assaulted". My being assaulted didn't explain a broken jaw on one of the offenders and a broken nose on another. Anyway, at the end of the statement, the policeman asked if I required medical attention to which I replied no. I signed the statement and went to the toilet when the horror became apparent.

As I unzipped, there was blood everywhere. At this stage, I realised that the jeans and boxers would have to come down so I could get a closer look. To my utmost horror, one of my testicles was hanging out. :eek: That's right, hanging out through a gash in my scrotum. A delicate situation I'm sure you'll all agree. I did what anybody else would have done and pushed it back in. I then went back to the policeman and changed my statement. When he heard what had happened, he put me in the car a rushed me to the hospital. It was 3.30am and casualty was quite busy. I was seen immediately and ended up with ten (10) stitches in the sack. The next couple of days were torture.

The strange thing is that I didn't feel it happen. Adrenaline is a wonderful thing. The best thing to happen after this was I got an award at my then rugby club's annual awards night. Worst injury. I now have a nice 's' shaped scar as proof and I will not be posting a pic.

For some reason I find it hard to be impressed, welcome to my world :p:p

smashey

Kazobel wrote: »

For some reason I find it hard to be impressed, welcome to my world :p:p

That made me laugh. Don't worry Kaz, all dangly bits are intact and staying that way.

Zaph

Yeah, but your's is voluntary Kaz

pretty-in-pink

Your story makes *me* wince in pain.....and gag a little. I'm seeing tinned spagetti and meatballs for some reason...

ugh
ugh
too far
must go wash my brain

l3LoWnA

This is absolutely not a manly injury but I'm sure you men will sympathise a bit....

I had third degree (or worst possible...) natural tear when I gave birth.....my whole sphincter muscle was torn completely in two and from front to back passage was completely torn open the whole way up to my womb - got 146 stitches with the doctor needing to use FORCEPS (while I was in stirrups, extremely uncomfortable) to open me up to reach the top of the wound (and was awake for all two hours of stitching with only slight local anaesththic....this, my friends, was all AFTER I'd gone through labour and delivery.....very traumatic experience)

Oh and half way through the stitching the doc got a bit excited and pulled too hard on the "thread" and stitch went right through, blood splattered everywhere and gasps were heard from the onlookers. Got a few sympathethic glances from younger staff (there were about 7 people present for a look.....trainee midwives, trainee ambulance man, nurses, midwife, few doctors, supposedly it is a rare occurance or something...) :rolleyes:

Anyways, I healed perfectly thank god (some women end up incontinent after the degree of damage I had...and I was told I'd almost definately suffer in the long-run but I ddn't), although I bathed in tea-tree and lavender oil baths 5 times a day for a month and also had to take strong pain-killers for a month and also drink lactose or glucose syrup, can't remember now - whatever makes you have soft stools! Coldn't even carry my baby for a month either and was kept in hospital for 7 days

OH woe is me...


'[Edit] I will not be posting a pic either!

l3LoWnA

ruthiedv wrote: »

You haven't really lived till you've had an episiotomy:eek:

At least they're planned!!

5starpool

l3LoWnA wrote: »

'[Edit] I will not be posting a pic either!

Thank God/Allah/Buddah/Jebus etc for that.

l3LoWnA

5starpool wrote: »

Thank God/Allah/Buddah/Jebus etc for that.

On second thoughts....

(had to delete that picture - gross)

Kazobel

smashey wrote: »

That made me laugh. Don't worry Kaz, all dangly bits are intact and staying that way.

Yeah but by the sounds of it I bet they're more "dangly" than normal :D

Kazobel

zaph wrote: »

Yeah, but your's is voluntary Kaz

Naaa there's a big difference between "voluntary" and "nessassary", I never chose this, it was inflicted on me when I was four years old and I first became aware of it. Given the choice no TS would chose to be TS. I've lost 2 kids through courts, have no real rights as regards male and female rights in the workplace or as a parent and we aren't really seen as people (well other than on here because I know you all try and I always appreciate that) in the same way as genetic males and females are. I'm only funny at times because I try to ignore all that, and try to in some way come across as normal, but at times it eats away at me

R33F

Usual Rugby Injuries: Busted nose, busted fingers, Arthroscopy to both knees, eyebrow(s) opened several times.

Mountain Biking: Busted sternum, busted fingers, busted wrist, and a million of these.... well up too about 5 - 6 at least.

congo_90

bohernabreena forest+mountain bike+16 years old...

Was on a mountain bike going down a dirt track, over taking scramblers(fast).. came to a bend. bike hit a bump in the ground. wrapped half myself in the bike frame. other half around a tree. Took two people to untangle me. Cuts and bruises left rite and centre. Pulled 2 ligaments. a big dirty 6inch scar on my thigh. also bruised pelvic area. luckily my package survived because point of impact was two inches above.

was told not to do anything like it for a month minimum. 3 weeks later went out on a friends bike and tore the ligaments that were just recovering. ouch.

Another biking incident:
Bike+hill near dodder park road coming from shell garage+lexus turning left.

Freewheeling down hill age 14 thinkin everything is fine without helmet. car rollin beside me on the road. junction up ahead.car turns me 'oh sh1t' bang. bike stops. my feet get caught in wheel arch of the shiny new lexus. due to laws of physics my feet acted as a lever forcing me to slam face first into a road sign on other side of car. I would say if it was on video ya would be p1ssin yourself laughing. at me flying across the bonnet into the sign.

lastly:

Drink+bike+rocks @night

Tried cycling through a gap in between rocks to take a short cut home. my right foot caught on a rock. and ended up tangled. After laughing at me, my friends freed me and i observed damage next day. nothing major. Sore head and about 2inch section of skin behind my knee hanging off... that wasn't nice so off to hosp with me!