The Girls (+ Pighead) Silly Quotes Thread

Pighead

Everybody knows that chicks are good for 2 things. Lovemaking and laughing at.

Theres probably enough threads about riding already so Pighead decided to start a thread on the silly stuff they say that make you laugh out loud and wonder how anybody could be so goddamn thick.

Pighead and an Ex-Girlfriend were walking hand in hand along the beach a few years back enjoying the beautiful sunshine and the wonderful scenery. It was the most perfect day and we were in the midst of the most comforatble of silences when out of nowhere she ruined everything by turning around and asking "Are Pigeons and Seagulls the same thing?"

Dumped the stupid cow there and then.

lezizi

I asked my boyfriend was Africa a country, i thought all the places in Africa were countys of Africa ha ha, County Zimbabwe. Then i asked was Russia a continent.
Needless to say i felt pretty stupid.

Xavi6

My girlfriend got really worried when filling out a travel insurance policy as the country she was travelling to wasn't listed. Holland was nowhere to be seen so she got into a massive panic. Of course The Netherlands was 6 countries down.

star-pants

Asked my older sister once if she knew what H2O was.... she said "eh..how would I know? I don't do science"

chopperbyrne

star-pants wrote: »

Asked my older sister once if she knew what H20 was.... she said "eh..how would I know? I don't do science"

What's wrong with that? Okay, most people know it, but if you never took any science classes you might not know it.

Femelade

i remember a girl on here was amazed that the first episode of prison break and the first episode of Lost had the same name....pilot!

Terry

I don't do science, but I know what H2SO4 is. Sometimes people store useless information.

I don't know what H20 is though.

star-pants

chopperbyrne wrote: »

What's wrong with that? Okay, most people know it, but if you never took any science classes you might not know it.

valid point actually.. I just found it funny - most people do know what it is though


edit - tis water terry (but i've a feeling you knew that)

auggie2k

I heard a girl on the bus recently say out quite loudly...

"I thought Spongebob was a cheese" - this girl was in college!

Radharc na Sleibhte

lezizi wrote: »

I asked my boyfriend was Africa a country, i thought all the places in Africa were countys of Africa ha ha, County Zimbabwe.

Thats actually a really good viewpoint, stupid and funny, but at the same time, I see where you were coming from.

Terry

star-pants wrote: »

valid point actually.. I just found it funny - most people do know what it is though


edit - tis water terry (but i've a feeling you knew that)

H2O is water.
H20 is not.

RxQueen

thought Navan was a county:rolleyes: also never realised until this year that there was only 29 days february.... the shame

Pighead

chopperbyrne wrote: »

What's wrong with that? Okay, most people know it, but if you never took any science classes you might not know it.

Ah c'mon who the hell doesn't know what H2O is? Theres tribes in the deepest forests of the Amazonian jungle who know what H2O is and Pigheads pretty sure they haven't been to science class.

Mr. Incognito

"Will this make me pregnant"?

Ha ha. Fool.

layke

Few years ago at the back of the 49 bus two Tallaghtfornian girls get on.
Don't remember how the conversations started but basically one of them refused to believe her mate that there was such a thing as 'coleslaw'.

Would ya 'Foooooowk aufffff', 'ax me howel'.

Spud83

emo!! wrote: »

also never realised until this year that there was only 29 days february.... the shame

:eek:

lezizi

MikeySligo wrote: »

lezizi wrote: »

I asked my boyfriend was Africa a country, i thought all the places in Africa were countys of Africa ha ha, County Zimbabwe.

Thats actually a really good viewpoint, stupid and funny, but at the same time, I see where you were coming from.

Thanks i feel better about it now ha ha, maybe I'm not that stupid afterall:p

star-pants

Terry wrote: »

H2O is water.
H20 is not.

I don't really have any saving response to that...
I bow to your superiority and my accidental stupidity.

connundrum

star-pants wrote: »

I don't really have any saving response to that...
I bow to your superiority and my accidental stupidity.

You shall be known as a silly girl from now on.

I constantly have to remind girls of which hand is actually their left hand. Must be a gene thing.

Radharc na Sleibhte

lezizi wrote: »

Thanks i feel better about it now ha ha, maybe I'm not that stupid afterall:p

HA, don't get me wrong, it's still pretty stupid and funny, but you're obvious thought behind makes it even more funny!

Terry

star-pants wrote: »

I don't really have any saving response to that...
I bow to your superiority and my accidental stupidity.

While you're down there...

emo!! wrote:

thought Navan was a county:rolleyes: also never realised until this year that there was only 29 days february.... the shame

LOL.

Pighead

emo!! wrote: »

thought Navan was a county:rolleyes: also never realised until this year that there was only 29 days february.... the shame

Theres only 28 days in February next year. Thats really gonna fcuk your poor little brain up. It may even explode. Be careful out there.

Radharc na Sleibhte

Terry wrote: »

While you're down there...

See can you figure out how to work this......????

zuutroy

An ex of mine thought they turned Niagara Falls off at night....seriously...

watna

This guy I was seeing a few years ago was a bit on the slow side. His parents had been to Amsterdam and he was going on and on about it. He kept telling me that his dad had been to Anne Frank's house and wasn't that great. He told me about 5 times. Then he looked at me with really puzzled eyes and said but who is Anne Frank? i know she has a house or something for some reason. It was one of the most bizarre confersations I've ever had. That was the end of that! I like my men smart, and the thing is he had an A1 in leaving cert history. That says a lot anyway!

Lola123

"what flavour is water?"
"what's the time difference between here and london"?
These were serious questions asked by girls i know (not me though, I'm REAL smart! )
And most recently, my friend asked her dad "what was your name before you got married".
:eek:

ekevosu

Pighead wrote: »

Theres only 28 days in February next year. Thats really gonna fcuk your poor little brain up. It may even explode. Be careful out there.

29 next year isn't there?

I've heard of a girl many years ago in a secondary school english class asking the teacher perfectly seriously where shakespeare lived so she could write to him and ask him some questions about his plays.

chopperbyrne

connundrum wrote: »

You shall be known as a silly girl from now on.

I constantly have to remind girls of which hand is actually their left hand. Must be a gene thing.

My girlfriend has to wear a thumb ring on her left hand to know right from left.
It broke a few months ago and she's always getting confused now.

cson

Not really a silly girl quote but anyway...

I was in having a very romantic dinner with the GF in that bastion of fine cuisine that is McDonalds. So Dessert time comes along and of course McFlurrys are the order of the day. The GF wonders aloud how they get the bits of smarties into the McFlurrys. I tells her they just have normal packets of smarties/crunchies/dairy milks and they just smash them up with a hammer. So that was grand and all. A couple of weeks later we're in McDo's again, she asks the McWorker not to smash up the smarties in her McFlurry, just pour in the packet whole.

Not that funny to read, but it had me cracking up at the time.

RxQueen

Pighead wrote: »

Theres only 28 days in February next year. Thats really gonna fcuk your poor little brain up. It may even explode. Be careful out there.

oh god, im just coming to terms with the whole 29days thing, jaysus things always change just as i get used to them!!:eek:

threebeards

2 classics - both 100% true and both by the same girl. She's the wife of a friend of mine and a great girl but she tends to put her feet in it on a reasonably regular basis. For the examples I'm going to give I'm gonna call her Paula and her husband Brian:

Example 1.
Walking down the street one night - it was p1ssing rain and Brian and Paula were huddled under an umbrella. A Romanian Gypsy comes towards them but Paula had the umbrella in front of her face so couldn't see:

Romanian: "Buy rose, buy rose"
Brian: "no" (or something not quite as polite!!)
Paula: "what was she selling Brian?"
Brian: "what do you think she was selling?"
Paula: "ah......biros?"

Example 2.
Brian and Paula were in the process of arranging and organising their wedding. At about the same time, myself and my wife were also planning our wedding. We were getting married a couple of months after Brian and Paula so Paula and my wife (let's call her Katy French ) were comparing notes. The first conversation is between Katy and a member of a string quartet and the second is the subsequent conversation between Katy and Paula.

Katy: "Hi, I'd like to book you for our wedding on July 31st next year"
Musician: "just let me look at the diary.....yeah we're free that day - will I put you down?"
Katy: "yeah - how much do you charge?"
Musician: "€450"
Katy: "that's fine. How many.........oh sorry, I was nearly going to ask how many of you are in the quartet"


Katy: "I booked a string quartet today for the wedding"
Paula: "Brilliant, is it the same quartet as the ones we booked?"
Katy: "I think so. I was so embarrassed, I started to ask him how many were in the quartet when it dawned on me that a quartet is obviously 4"
Paula: [blushing] "oh God"
Katy: "What?"
Paula: "I did ask how many of them there were - I was wondering why he was laughing"

She still gets the p1ss taken out of her about both things.

Spud83

Pighead wrote: »

Theres only 28 days in February next year. Thats really gonna fcuk your poor little brain up. It may even explode. Be careful out there.

ekevosu wrote: »

29 next year isn't there?

And now Pighead's comment can be added to the stupid list.

Pighead

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

And now Pighead's comment can be added to the stupid list.

Bah. Pighead made a fool of himself again. Mortified.

Can somebody make this thread go away before the lunchtime rush kicks in and they all start pointing and laughing?

RxQueen

oh pighead my god me sorry i confused you!! haha!! i was looking at a 2008 calender when i double check that , obv i still aint got it right!! i asked the people in work here and appartnly theres only 28 days in feburary!! i always thought there were 30!! and next year for some reason theres 29 days!!
hahahaha im sooo stupid!:eek:

Shamrogue

Just some quotes from a few not so bright sparks I know. All girls... poor society.

ANONYMOUS CONVERSATION
No.1: "I feel really bad, I cheated on *** with ****."
No.2: "Oh my god, me too, I kissed ***."
No.3 takes the cake: "Lads I have two boyfriends, and I'm cheating on them both."

(As we're walking along the beach in Salthill): "Is that the ocean?"
"What do you call an upside down rectangle?"

"If I was a boy, I would have a constant erection."
"What do you call an airplane driver?"

"Taxi Driver, will you be my other half?"
"Are potatoes really vegetables? You'd never know."

"He would be so good looking without his personality."
"Why are you wearing grey in the rain?"
"Blood donation questionnaire: Have you ever been paid for sex?, "Does buying you drinks count?""

"How can someone work 17 hours a day if there's only 12? Duh."
"What do you call those twins that are stuck together?"
"Are chickens birds?"
"I'm so stupid I can't walk."
After reading a sign which said: DANGER COWS AHEAD.
"What are the cows more dangerous here or something??"
After seeing the Pursuit of Happyness: "That's not so sad, I've fallen asleep in toilets before."
"Can't believe we saw our first Galway prostitute. And she wasn't even Irish...talk about stealing all our jobs."
"What country is Bulgaria in?"
"You know that mountain with all the president's faces on it...did that just happen naturally or did somebody do it?"
"Will you be my Galway boyfriend? Not my Limerick one, I don't like to mix the two."
"If only he wasn't so boring, he'd be perfect. Basically if he just changed his entire personality."

"He's so good looking, you'd actually start undressing when you talk to him."

"Should I keep walking?" She says to randomer.
"Yes." he replies.

Heisenberg.

This post has been deleted.

Spud83

Pighead wrote: »

Bah. Pighead made a fool of himself again. Mortified.

Can somebody make this thread go away before the lunchtime rush kicks in and they all start pointing and laughing?

emo!! wrote: »

oh pighead my god me sorry i confused you!! haha!! i was looking at a 2008 calender when i double check that , obv i still aint got it right!! i asked the people in work here and appartnly theres only 28 days in feburary!! i always thought there were 30!! and next year for some reason theres 29 days!!
hahahaha im sooo stupid!:eek:

Ok lets clear this up for the both of you. There is 28 days in Feburary except for a leap year when there is 29. A leap year occurs every four years, 2004,2008,2012,2016,2020 etc etc. Now that concludes todays Junior Infants lesson, your homework will be sent by PM.

DvB

An ex GF of mine asked me (after we'd been to see the film Michael Collins) what year did the 1916 Easter Rising take place....i kid you not! When i asked her what she thought the 1916 bit was she said she thought it was the address it happened at!!!:D

Poppy Cock

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead and an Ex-Girlfriend were walking hand in hand along the beach a few years back...

But you are Pighead!?

Poppy Cock

Pighead wrote: »

Theres only 28 days in February next year. Thats really gonna fcuk your poor little brain up. It may even explode. Be careful out there.

hahaha - pwned yourself by trying to be a smart*ss.

star-pants

Terry wrote: »

While you're down there...

Clean the floor?..




OT - my younger sister can't understand why they don't write Shakespeare in proper english...

Pighead

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Ok lets clear this up for the both of you. There is 28 days in Feburary except for a leap year when there is 29. A leap year occurs every four years, 2004,2008,2012,2016,2020 etc etc. Now that concludes todays Junior Infants lesson, your homework will be sent by PM.

Todays Current Affairs Lesson: alanmurphy83 is a sneering jumped up little nerdlinger.

Todays History Lesson: alanmurphy83 was a sneering jumped up little nerdlinger yestterday as well.

Todays Mathematics Lesson: Sneering + jumped up little nerdlinger=alanmurphy83

Class dismissed.

Shamrogue

Pighead wrote: »

Todays History Lesson: alanmurphy83 was a sneering jumped up little nerdlinger yestterday as well.
Class dismissed.

Isnt there only 1 't' in yesterday.
I just had to say it!

big b

I was giving Pighead the benefit of the doubt, assuming he was deliberately misleading an already confused girly. :rolleyes:

Gordon

The Scientist wrote: »

I was at the beach one year with my mates, we were also joined by the stereotypical local girl with blonde hair, ample bosoms who we all subsequentially wanted to bone.
When we arrived, there was a sign saying "REFUSE TO BE PUT IN BIN" (or something to that effect) to which she replied, "Duh, why would anyone allow themselves to be put in the bin"...

Concentrate in package.

A girl I knew in college, when I was around 21 or so came out with some crackers all the time. Unfortunately I can only remember 2 of them.

She believed that the moon was actually the sun in the night time. And she also believed that when you took your money to the bank to be deposited the tellers would place everyones money in separate drawers. Subsequently, they would post the money to the bank you want money sent to, via mail.

She was a natural blonde btw..

Spud83

Pighead wrote: »

Todays Current Affairs Lesson: alanmurphy83 is a sneering jumped up little nerdlinger.

Todays History Lesson: alanmurphy83 was a sneering jumped up little nerdlinger yestterday as well.

Todays Mathematics Lesson: Sneering + jumped up little nerdlinger=alanmurphy83

Class dismissed.

Well now thats just not nice. My guess is Pigheads ego took at bit of hit when it was proven that he is in fact as dumb as a girl.

big b

Walking home with a girl one night, going uphill with a few sets of steps at random intervals.
The street lights are out, so I'm like " watch for the step there" etc.

2/3 of the way up, blondie says "Jeez, I wouldn't like to go up here in the dark if I was blind"

Kintarō Hattori

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Well now thats just not nice. My guess is Pigheads ego took at bit of hit when it was proven that he is in fact as dumb as a girl.

Oh now that's just cruel. He's clearly having an off day. It happens to us all.

Pighead

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Well now thats just not nice. My guess is Pigheads ego took at bit of hit when it was proven that he is in fact as dumb as a girl.

Pighead is ego free. Its actually a relief to get stuff wrong sometimes. Infallibility holds too much pressure. Anyway thats this years "wrongness" out of the way.

Pighead

Poppy Cock wrote: »

hahaha - pwned yourself by trying to be a smart*ss.

Back off Floppy Cock. Pigheads feeling crappy enough about this whole "being wrong~" fiasco without you throwing your nasty words into the mix.

backboiler

zuutroy wrote: »

An ex of mine thought they turned Niagara Falls off at night....seriously...

Well, she's not altogether wrong. "They" (being the ESBs of Ontario and New York) don't turn off the falls but in Winter and at night in Summer, about 3/4 of the water flowing in the river is diverted off the falls to hydroelectric power stations. In Summer days, when there are tourists there, only half of the river's water is diverted so twice as much actually passes over the falls.