The Girls (+ Pighead) Silly Quotes Thread

Just some quotes from a few not so bright sparks I know. All girls... poor society.

ANONYMOUS CONVERSATION
No.1: "I feel really bad, I cheated on *** with ****."
No.2: "Oh my god, me too, I kissed ***."
No.3 takes the cake: "Lads I have two boyfriends, and I'm cheating on them both."

(As we're walking along the beach in Salthill): "Is that the ocean?"
"What do you call an upside down rectangle?"

"If I was a boy, I would have a constant erection."
"What do you call an airplane driver?"

"Taxi Driver, will you be my other half?"
"Are potatoes really vegetables? You'd never know."

"He would be so good looking without his personality."
"Why are you wearing grey in the rain?"
"Blood donation questionnaire: Have you ever been paid for sex?, "Does buying you drinks count?""

"How can someone work 17 hours a day if there's only 12? Duh."
"What do you call those twins that are stuck together?"
"Are chickens birds?"
"I'm so stupid I can't walk."
After reading a sign which said: DANGER COWS AHEAD.
"What are the cows more dangerous here or something??"
After seeing the Pursuit of Happyness: "That's not so sad, I've fallen asleep in toilets before."
"Can't believe we saw our first Galway prostitute. And she wasn't even Irish...talk about stealing all our jobs."
"What country is Bulgaria in?"
"You know that mountain with all the president's faces on it...did that just happen naturally or did somebody do it?"
"Will you be my Galway boyfriend? Not my Limerick one, I don't like to mix the two."
"If only he wasn't so boring, he'd be perfect. Basically if he just changed his entire personality."

"He's so good looking, you'd actually start undressing when you talk to him."

"Should I keep walking?" She says to randomer.
"Yes." he replies.

Pighead wrote: »

Todays History Lesson: alanmurphy83 was a sneering jumped up little nerdlinger yestterday as well.
Class dismissed.

Isnt there only 1 't' in yesterday.
I just had to say it!

The Scientist wrote: »

I was at the beach one year with my mates, we were also joined by the stereotypical local girl with blonde hair, ample bosoms who we all subsequentially wanted to bone.
When we arrived, there was a sign saying "REFUSE TO BE PUT IN BIN" (or something to that effect) to which she replied, "Duh, why would anyone allow themselves to be put in the bin"...

Concentrate in package.

A girl I knew in college, when I was around 21 or so came out with some crackers all the time. Unfortunately I can only remember 2 of them.

She believed that the moon was actually the sun in the night time. And she also believed that when you took your money to the bank to be deposited the tellers would place everyones money in separate drawers. Subsequently, they would post the money to the bank you want money sent to, via mail.

She was a natural blonde btw..

Walking home with a girl one night, going uphill with a few sets of steps at random intervals.
The street lights are out, so I'm like " watch for the step there" etc.

2/3 of the way up, blondie says "Jeez, I wouldn't like to go up here in the dark if I was blind"

zuutroy wrote: »

An ex of mine thought they turned Niagara Falls off at night....seriously...

Well, she's not altogether wrong. "They" (being the ESBs of Ontario and New York) don't turn off the falls but in Winter and at night in Summer, about 3/4 of the water flowing in the river is diverted off the falls to hydroelectric power stations. In Summer days, when there are tourists there, only half of the river's water is diverted so twice as much actually passes over the falls.

Poppy Cock wrote: »

But you are Pighead!?

You must be new round here.