Dodgiest place you've drunkenly urinated?

flangeman

Well there was a bin at the top of O'Connell street that I had a go in more than one roughly at 2 in the morning.

Years ago 'the cousin' once pished into a guitar case in a pub atome where there were a couple of guys doing a trad session and I got feckin barred!! for it

Dirty filthy act, karma will get him, now that he's a musician himself. The trad session was famous in the town for its quality and it was 'never the same' after that, few guys never played there again.

starn

This is really dodgy. Wish i could go anon for this and mask my IP can see malitia men knocking down my door. I would also like to apologise to any americans reading this.

I should start by explaining I have severe vertigo and as such have problems flying. So you can imagine the problem I had when I moved to New York.

I took a full tray of Xanix and Valium before taking off and before landing along with copius amounts of alchol. I moved my stuff into The Chealsea Hotel where I was living, and went on the beer with a homeless crack head. So at 0530 in the moring US time I find my self going for a slash against a wall. I look up and Im pissing on Old Glory The US flag. Its painted on the side of a big both. Turns out it's a US army recruitment burea and Im in the middle of Times Sq. I was ****ting it for a bout a week later. Thought the cops were cgonna come bustig thru my door.


Beat that

SpAcEd OuT

Down some lane in some dodgy ghetto in London. I was absolutely bolloxed drunk and walked down this lane that had about 5 or 6 black lads standing around went up beside them ''How u doin lads'' and started pissing on the wall only for a chorus of

WHAT U DOIN BLOOD
YO U BETTER WATCH IT THIS IS DANGEROUS TERRORTORY BLOOD
along with varouis other comments that ended in BLOOD

Think I said something along the lines of ''Its ok I'm Irish were cool'' or something equally embarrassing as I left


Dont know why but they didn't touch me, next morning I realized I could easily have been stabbed/killed.

That was definitely dodgy.

Pigman II

On Ayers rock. Yep, probably shouldn't have done that.

galwayrush

One of my mates used to do it against a travellers caravan door every night .
He had to run for his life one night.:D

galwayrush

There's a guy i know who while pissed thought it was a good idea to piss on a guard dog through a wire fence.The Dog's bite was very accurate. :eek:

randylonghorn

Came out of a club about 4 a.m. on holiday, walking along the promenade overlooking the beach heading back to the apartments. Three of us needed a piss, so we let the girls get a bit ahead, and lined up at the rail to water the sand. What we weren't aware of was a young couple who were canoodling in the shelter of the wall underneath ... nor were they aware of us until we suddenly added an involuntary golden shower to their activities!

They were less than pleased, and we did feel a bit guilty when we stopped laughing ... but hell, they were nekkid anyway, and the sea was right there, could have been worse!!


Funniest I have seen was in Oughterard, was out with a couple of friends who were playing in a band. There was a firedoor right beside where they were playing, and as it was a boiling hot summer's night it had been left open. The guy who was playing bass was in dire need, but rather than battling through the busy pub and holding everything up, he ever so casually strolled out the fire door and out of sight, still playing away ... the bass died for a few seconds, obviously while he unzipped and pulled it out ... kicked back in for about 60 secs ... dropped again momentarily, and then he casually strolls back in, playing away, as if he had just been catching a breath of fresh air. It was well done, in fairness, but judging by the amount of people busting themselves laughing, not quite well enough!

I also know a drummer who brings an empty two litre plastic milk carton to one particular pub with him, given that where the band are set up is miles from the loos, and the place is always packed ...

Lucutus wrote: »

Electric fence - mains powered.

Haven't done that, but I was there to pmsl when a mate did!

pocketac3s

After an all night session in a mates house, we where leaving around 7.30am, when we realised we where outside an old teachers house. Not just any teacher, the fattest, ugliest whooriest teacher I've ever had - so like you do, I gave her car a free wash - giving special attention to driver side door handle.

She would have been up for work in a bit aswell...

giddyup

Purely for the aesthetics of the glistening golden arc of piss shimmering in the moonlight I climbed up on top of a milk truck with a ladder once to piss off the top. It was temporary but beautiful - like so much in life.

The dodgiest spot however was what turned out to be the wall outside the Rathfarnham rozzer shop. Ordinarily I would have been aware of my surroundings but this was after a couple of scaldy snakebites (neither of the constituents, the lager nor the cider were what you'd describe as quality brands). In mid-flow a cop-car pulled up right behind me - bumper inches from the back of my legs. They hauled me into the station and threw me in a cell for about 45 mins (to sober me up I guess) and then they let me out with various warnings. I finally made it to my original destination Club Sarah for a (what was then) Tallaght RTC social. Ah - happy days.

Nothingcompares

ballooba wrote: »

Front door of Trinity College. The small one. Security guard opened mid flow too.

Jesus you're all scumbags.

demanufactured

in a phone box, on the phone itself

in someones letterbox

Dave!

Empty coke bottle... was very messy, they should make those holes alot bigger

Deliverance

Police station front door (it was in an alcove and the public loo was locked, like myself). The 3 guards who showed in a sqad car up were not impressed.

Latchy

Into a bedroom sink in a B and B because i couldent find the toliet..also once into a pot plant , if you see a guy on you tube pissing into a pot plant it's probably me ......

Attractive Nun

Ah pissing, one of life's greatest pleasures.

I don't think I've pissed in any really unusual places, but I've certainly discoloured my share of public and private property. My most eventful moment was probably back in my pre-18 days. After I was refused from a pub, I thought it hilarious to promptly piss on the wall of that pub. Immediately the gardai pulled up and accosted me mid-stream. It was a little bit messy. They weren't impressed - got a name taking for that one.

Another memory of mine is walking home from that very same establishment one night, and gathering a crowd to cheer on my friend as he attempted to get his piss-stream high enough to go into the 'All Other Places' postbox. He succeeded.

Also, a friend of mine pissed all over another friend of mine while he was passed out in a bathroom. Good times.

orestes

I went on a mates head once while he was getting sick in the toilet at a house party. I gave him a ten second warning, swore that I'd do it if he didn't move, and I am a man of my word.

My little brother went in the microwave once while he was drunk as hell. Thing is he's quite short so he actually had to arch back to make the angle. Impressive.

irishcrazyhorse

After running around dublin city trying to get everyone out of different pubs so we could head to slaine early ,I forgot to go for a piss before I got on the bus...Just after we pulled off I was dieing to go and after an hour I just couldnt hold it and was too sober to go on the floor so got the bus guy to stop while a packed bus screamed and shouted out the window at me(embarrasing but felt so good) best thing was,2 minutes after we pulled off the bus had to stop again for about ten people to get off and go :P

KIVES

I'm pretty sure I've done every household room known to man/a friends shoes/College Books/bathtubs/festival tents etc etc...all due to one boring common demoninator...the demon drink...thankfully my days of wine and roses are fewer nowadays...I've taken a shine to standardised urinals and would recommend them to any stuttering drunk - great inventions

Potential-Monke

Ok, i've been at the stage of utter pain at having to piss, but i'm disgraced by the ammount of ye who are proud of what ye are doing. Do ye think it's funny? Do ye think ye're bigger men/women for doing it? I'm sure your mothers are very proud of ye. Ye are plain disgusting. Ye are no better than the people who throw rubbish on the roads. Ye should be ashamed o yourselves, and i hope to god that someday ye will be caught by the Gardai and brought to court over it, and Judges don't take lightly to public urination. As someone else said firther up, scumbags!

Edit: Obviously only applies to people who piss in public.

Ninja_scrotum

Pissed out the door of a bus. While it was moving. At night. Absolutely scuttered. On my way back home from a concert.

doonothing

on my neighbours house... while they were in their car... waiting to go somewhere...
whoops

scaramanga

was going for piss outside the gates of some building in amsterdam(nuff said), some guys in uniforms comes out and starts roaring bout it being queen beatrix residense:eek:
turns out it was:D

R33F

• Female Toilet Hand Basin in Pub
• Large SuperMac's Cup on bus into Dublin
• Gatorade Bottle in the Car

Fozzy

In UCD, on one of the big trees in the field near the school of business and the bus stops. It was in the afternoon with a lot of people sitting all around and playing football. It was the last day of term and my reasoning was that the toilets in the bar were packed so there was no point in holding it in. Walked past the place the other day and wondered what the **** was I thinking. I apologise if I managed to splash anyone reading who was there

Years and years ago I was at the Curragh racecourse with my cousins and I went with one of my cousins and his mate to the back of one of the concrete stands. Whatever way they were built there were some small holes in the ground that you could look through and see people walking along on a path underneath us. So of course my cousin's 9 year old scumbag mate decides to piss down one of the holes. I'm not so sure that he'd have apologised if given the opportunity

mrhappy42

On the electric railway lines in the London Underground....it get's worse but my kids might read this some day ;-(

JuJuYNWA

Heres a few,

In a beer bottle which i then put the cap back on and put it in the fridge

In a milk bottle.....which i then put the cap back on and put it in the fridge

In a plastic cereal box of alpen..........which i then put the lid back on and put it in the press

In a bath at the same time as my mate, the bath was full of ice and everyone elses drink that was at the party

Sleepin in a car after a session i was too drunk/tired to walk the 20 meters to the nearest public toilet so i did it in a coke bottle

Standing on a wheelie bin, peeing over a wall into the mouth of my mates dog

Ive also taken a dump about six holes into a round of golf in the bushes, had to use my new golf towel to wipe myself afterwards and all!!!

togster

Robbo wrote: »

Over the side of a boat at 40mph or in through the letterbox of an organisation with whose politics I disagree.

Nothingcompares wrote: »

Jesus you're all scumbags.

+1

mise_me_fein

Out around near where the Temple Theatre is but where all the knick knacks live.

My brother went for a p!ss in Poland on the street. Cops were there in less than a minute in a van ready to throw him in a cell....lucky we had a Polish mate.

jester77

Drinking at a mate's apt. and was bursting but someone was taking for ever in the toilet. Back into the main room, grabbed a chair and pissed out the window, hope no one was walking by

watna

Does try to pee count? Once a few years ago when i still lived at home i had two drinks in town (I swear it was only two!) and thebn went home and went to bed. I had some really strange dreams that my dad was shouting at me and pushing me around. When i got up in the morning my dad wouldn't talk to me and was really pissed off. I couldn't work out why until he told me that in the middle of the night I'd walked in to my parents bedroom, opened the top drawer on their chest of drawer ans sat on it like I was about to pee. He realised what I was about to do and pushed me off and in to the bathroom, but not before me weight broke the drawer! The bad thing is I woke up naked so I had to ask my dad had I been naked when this happened. Thank god I had a nightdress on though, so god knows when I took it off or what i was doing. i have a tendancy to sleepwalk/talk if I've been drinking. It took me a long time to live that one down at home!