Dodgiest place you've drunkenly urinated?

Lands Leaving

For me its either on a church wall (outside though!) or at strphens green, into the park throught the railings - whilst lined up beside 3 other lads

WindSock

A bin.

DavyD_83

Lands Leaving wrote: »

For me its either on a church wall (outside though!) or at strphens green, into the park throught the railings - whilst lined up beside 3 other lads

Was expecting this to start out with somethin fairly impressive.
Ah well,
I've done both of those.
Worst would be in my mate's dad's wardrobe (on his his suits), followed closely by on another mate's tv and video in his sitting room.
I'm not proud, but it happened.:rolleyes:

Archeron

Through the bars in the middle of the Ha'penny bridge straight into the Liffey.

biko

St Augustine church.

keefg

On way home after a VERY drunken night out in West London, found a large gate in a quiet (or so I thought) allywayto relieve myself.

I could not understand, in my drunken haze, why the gate I was p1ssing against was moving. To my horror the gate opened up to reveal a police car just leaving the back of a station to go on patrol :eek:.

The gents out there will appreciate how difficult it is to stop in "mid flow" so I made a bit of a mess of my self while the driver got out of the police car and gave me a very stern telling off, to make things worse for me the passenger of the police car was a female officer who was pissing herself (no pun intended) as my situation while her colleague continued to shout in my face about my "disgraceful behaviour".

Oh, and a couple of hundred yards away - all of my mates were howling with laughter & jeering me.

Very embarassing

Lucutus

Electric fence - mains powered.

projectmayhem

boreds wrote: »

A bin.

a mate of mine cannot go without pissing in a bin on some capacity. have a lovely shot of him pissing in a bin next to an unsuspecting gard.

looder

on YORE MA


now that thats out of the way, probably in a strangers back garden or off a bridge

Borneo Fnctn

Off a 6th floor balcony. When you have to go... you have to go.

syklops

wish I could go anonymous for this...

Was staying in a massive hostel, and woke up after a hard nights drinking. The pressure on my bladder is what woke me up. I was in a room on my own, and to get to the toilet, I had to walk down a 300 metre corridor, down 2 flights of steps and walk back down another 200 metres of corridor to get to the jacks. At the time it was too much to even think about, so I peed into a half litre bottle of coke, and when it was getting full I stopped myself, poured the contents out the window into the garden below, and started again. It took four bottles full until I was done. Amazingly no one noticed. Had someone noticed I feel sure I would have been arrested.

thebiggestjim

check out this mate of mine, he went to Glasgow to a Celtic match and got a bit drunk after. Priceless

Idbatterim

Pearse Street Garda Station, when yhe mates and I started hitting town a few years back "Fireworks" on Tara Street was our usual haunt. Nature called as it does when you have drank a ton, and were all taking a slash on what we think is just another building, a garda comes out and took my friends name, and sent us on our way, thats about the worst iv done and got caught for anyway!

beerbaron

In my friends Grandparents front garden (I found out years afterwards);
The side of a Ferrari

Agamemnon

Into the letterbox of the house of someone I didn't like.

briantwin

In a pringles tin in a mates bedroom (messy night aside). it was full of change, but i didn't realise. Then the next morning my mates da came in to get change for the paper and stuck his hand straight in. it was easier to blame my friend then to own up to that myself.

I'm proud of myself believe me!!! :cool:

daniel3982

All over a kitchen at a party in Stoke on Trent in front of many of the party goers, I was sleep walking and ended up waking up a mile down the road at 5am with no shoes on, money, coat, phone or idea where the party was or how I'd get home to Manchester!

l3LoWnA

OK I'm a lady spo maybe I shoudln't be telling you guys this but this one time....at band camp.....

Was on a bus on the way home from belfast at all hours of the morning after being on the lush nearly a full 24 hours. Few of us (girls) were bursting for a pee so the bus driver stopped at the side of the road. We went down a few steps (which led into a field) to be out of view of all other passengers (even though it was pitch dark) and I was brave and decided to go first (and was about to explode i suppose) So I stood on the last step and got down on my hunkers and kinda balanced over the edge of the step.......the relief was unnatural. It was only when I was mid-extremely-fast-and-furious-flow that I felt the stings......My fecken ass was positioned right in the middle a big bunch of friggen nettles!!! :eek::(:mad:

The pain was unreal - I had to kneel on a seat facing the back of the bus the whole way home

WindSock

My funniest pee was in town a while back. Me and a friend were walking back to his sisters place near Baggot St, and I was dyyying for a pee so much I ducked into an alleyway with a bit of an arch and a corner bit behind some steps for concealment. Anyways, there I was crouching and peeing while he stood around the corner. All I could hear was the sound of my pee and I couldnt hear anyone around so I let a wee fart. It turned out to be a ripper and it reverberated so loudly that I could hear my friend laughing, I giggled too, next thing, two well dressed guys walked by and looked at me (I was finished peeing and fixing my clothes by then) They must have heard, but me being a classy burd just shouted 'whar are you lookin at?' As I was paralytic with laughter. It took ages for us to stop laughing.

ballooba

Front door of Trinity College. The small one. Security guard opened mid flow too.

Robbo

Over the side of a boat at 40mph or in through the letterbox of an organisation with whose politics I disagree.

AlmightyCushion

Off the balcony of a hostel I was staying in. In a phone booth. In a cinema (no not the bathroom). The film was shít and I thought I'd get my moneys worth.

kev_s88

on holidays.got this **** meal in a restaurant and all the waiters were complete dicks!so as they were getting ready to close that night.went around to the glass window opposite the cash register and started to piss.they were too busy to notice me doing it but they sure as hell saw me running for it!!

Jack Bauer

On a cop car parked off o'connell street, seriously

admiralofthefleet

meath street on a saturday afternoon, i was bursting and the pubs were just too dodgy to piss in

connundrum

Round the back of a shopping mall in Turkey. Didn't see the doberman guard dogs. New runners ruined

I have taken a shit in the woods before too. Probably the only time I'd ever had a pack of tissues in the car, damn was I glad of em. No dock leaf for me

JohnCleary

Robbo wrote: »

Over the side of a boat at 40mph

Hope you were at the back of the boat :eek:

-Edit- Just re-read... the SIDE?! In that case, hope there was no one at the back

stevo86

At the entrance to trinity college at the end of Dame St.

DavyD_83

The fair ****ty phone box. just remembered that one.

JIZZLORD

worst pee was probably off a bridge.
my friend pissed on another friend in a nightclub queue

- bo -

Outside the cop station beside Busáras - I was locked and didnt realise it was a cop station until I was finished.

Or during the World Cup in 2002, the day Ireland played Spain, I was giving my Dad a hand at work in Dublin early that morning (I was 14) and had a couple of bottles of Lucozade Sport in the process. Was dying for a whizz before I even got on the bus. Held it as far as Ross Cross (about 10-15 mins from home) and it just got painful so I took out one of my empty Lucozade bottles and went in that, lucky there wasnt too many people on the bus at the time...

flangeman

Well there was a bin at the top of O'Connell street that I had a go in more than one roughly at 2 in the morning.

Years ago 'the cousin' once pished into a guitar case in a pub atome where there were a couple of guys doing a trad session and I got feckin barred!! for it

Dirty filthy act, karma will get him, now that he's a musician himself. The trad session was famous in the town for its quality and it was 'never the same' after that, few guys never played there again.

starn

This is really dodgy. Wish i could go anon for this and mask my IP can see malitia men knocking down my door. I would also like to apologise to any americans reading this.

I should start by explaining I have severe vertigo and as such have problems flying. So you can imagine the problem I had when I moved to New York.

I took a full tray of Xanix and Valium before taking off and before landing along with copius amounts of alchol. I moved my stuff into The Chealsea Hotel where I was living, and went on the beer with a homeless crack head. So at 0530 in the moring US time I find my self going for a slash against a wall. I look up and Im pissing on Old Glory The US flag. Its painted on the side of a big both. Turns out it's a US army recruitment burea and Im in the middle of Times Sq. I was ****ting it for a bout a week later. Thought the cops were cgonna come bustig thru my door.


Beat that

SpAcEd OuT

Down some lane in some dodgy ghetto in London. I was absolutely bolloxed drunk and walked down this lane that had about 5 or 6 black lads standing around went up beside them ''How u doin lads'' and started pissing on the wall only for a chorus of

WHAT U DOIN BLOOD
YO U BETTER WATCH IT THIS IS DANGEROUS TERRORTORY BLOOD
along with varouis other comments that ended in BLOOD

Think I said something along the lines of ''Its ok I'm Irish were cool'' or something equally embarrassing as I left


Dont know why but they didn't touch me, next morning I realized I could easily have been stabbed/killed.

That was definitely dodgy.

Pigman II

On Ayers rock. Yep, probably shouldn't have done that.

galwayrush

One of my mates used to do it against a travellers caravan door every night .
He had to run for his life one night.:D

galwayrush

There's a guy i know who while pissed thought it was a good idea to piss on a guard dog through a wire fence.The Dog's bite was very accurate. :eek:

randylonghorn

Came out of a club about 4 a.m. on holiday, walking along the promenade overlooking the beach heading back to the apartments. Three of us needed a piss, so we let the girls get a bit ahead, and lined up at the rail to water the sand. What we weren't aware of was a young couple who were canoodling in the shelter of the wall underneath ... nor were they aware of us until we suddenly added an involuntary golden shower to their activities!

They were less than pleased, and we did feel a bit guilty when we stopped laughing ... but hell, they were nekkid anyway, and the sea was right there, could have been worse!!


Funniest I have seen was in Oughterard, was out with a couple of friends who were playing in a band. There was a firedoor right beside where they were playing, and as it was a boiling hot summer's night it had been left open. The guy who was playing bass was in dire need, but rather than battling through the busy pub and holding everything up, he ever so casually strolled out the fire door and out of sight, still playing away ... the bass died for a few seconds, obviously while he unzipped and pulled it out ... kicked back in for about 60 secs ... dropped again momentarily, and then he casually strolls back in, playing away, as if he had just been catching a breath of fresh air. It was well done, in fairness, but judging by the amount of people busting themselves laughing, not quite well enough!

I also know a drummer who brings an empty two litre plastic milk carton to one particular pub with him, given that where the band are set up is miles from the loos, and the place is always packed ...

Lucutus wrote: »

Electric fence - mains powered.

Haven't done that, but I was there to pmsl when a mate did!

pocketac3s

After an all night session in a mates house, we where leaving around 7.30am, when we realised we where outside an old teachers house. Not just any teacher, the fattest, ugliest whooriest teacher I've ever had - so like you do, I gave her car a free wash - giving special attention to driver side door handle.

She would have been up for work in a bit aswell...

giddyup

Purely for the aesthetics of the glistening golden arc of piss shimmering in the moonlight I climbed up on top of a milk truck with a ladder once to piss off the top. It was temporary but beautiful - like so much in life.

The dodgiest spot however was what turned out to be the wall outside the Rathfarnham rozzer shop. Ordinarily I would have been aware of my surroundings but this was after a couple of scaldy snakebites (neither of the constituents, the lager nor the cider were what you'd describe as quality brands). In mid-flow a cop-car pulled up right behind me - bumper inches from the back of my legs. They hauled me into the station and threw me in a cell for about 45 mins (to sober me up I guess) and then they let me out with various warnings. I finally made it to my original destination Club Sarah for a (what was then) Tallaght RTC social. Ah - happy days.

Nothingcompares

ballooba wrote: »

Front door of Trinity College. The small one. Security guard opened mid flow too.

Jesus you're all scumbags.

demanufactured

in a phone box, on the phone itself

in someones letterbox

Dave!

Empty coke bottle... was very messy, they should make those holes alot bigger

Deliverance

Police station front door (it was in an alcove and the public loo was locked, like myself). The 3 guards who showed in a sqad car up were not impressed.

Latchy

Into a bedroom sink in a B and B because i couldent find the toliet..also once into a pot plant , if you see a guy on you tube pissing into a pot plant it's probably me ......

Attractive Nun

Ah pissing, one of life's greatest pleasures.

I don't think I've pissed in any really unusual places, but I've certainly discoloured my share of public and private property. My most eventful moment was probably back in my pre-18 days. After I was refused from a pub, I thought it hilarious to promptly piss on the wall of that pub. Immediately the gardai pulled up and accosted me mid-stream. It was a little bit messy. They weren't impressed - got a name taking for that one.

Another memory of mine is walking home from that very same establishment one night, and gathering a crowd to cheer on my friend as he attempted to get his piss-stream high enough to go into the 'All Other Places' postbox. He succeeded.

Also, a friend of mine pissed all over another friend of mine while he was passed out in a bathroom. Good times.

orestes

I went on a mates head once while he was getting sick in the toilet at a house party. I gave him a ten second warning, swore that I'd do it if he didn't move, and I am a man of my word.

My little brother went in the microwave once while he was drunk as hell. Thing is he's quite short so he actually had to arch back to make the angle. Impressive.

irishcrazyhorse

After running around dublin city trying to get everyone out of different pubs so we could head to slaine early ,I forgot to go for a piss before I got on the bus...Just after we pulled off I was dieing to go and after an hour I just couldnt hold it and was too sober to go on the floor so got the bus guy to stop while a packed bus screamed and shouted out the window at me(embarrasing but felt so good) best thing was,2 minutes after we pulled off the bus had to stop again for about ten people to get off and go :P

KIVES

I'm pretty sure I've done every household room known to man/a friends shoes/College Books/bathtubs/festival tents etc etc...all due to one boring common demoninator...the demon drink...thankfully my days of wine and roses are fewer nowadays...I've taken a shine to standardised urinals and would recommend them to any stuttering drunk - great inventions

Potential-Monke

Ok, i've been at the stage of utter pain at having to piss, but i'm disgraced by the ammount of ye who are proud of what ye are doing. Do ye think it's funny? Do ye think ye're bigger men/women for doing it? I'm sure your mothers are very proud of ye. Ye are plain disgusting. Ye are no better than the people who throw rubbish on the roads. Ye should be ashamed o yourselves, and i hope to god that someday ye will be caught by the Gardai and brought to court over it, and Judges don't take lightly to public urination. As someone else said firther up, scumbags!

Edit: Obviously only applies to people who piss in public.

Ninja_scrotum

Pissed out the door of a bus. While it was moving. At night. Absolutely scuttered. On my way back home from a concert.