Beauty and the Beast

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I've recently fallen for a guy that I work with and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. When I initially saw him I didn't rate him very highly in the looks department but as I got to know him i discovered that he's a really cool guy and is hilarious. He has the whole office in stitches the entire time and that's a very attractive quality to me.
Anyway, not being big headed but I'm a former Miss Donegal and have been told i could get any guy I want - the guy I want is him. Trouble is, a gang of us went for drinks after work last Satyrday and a bunch of my friends joined us. When I pointed him out to my friends they were all shocked. They all kinda smirked and made remarks like 'You can do so much better', 'Why are you settling for a minger like him' and 'What the hell are you thinking!!'.
These comments really hurt because I like him so much but knowing that my friends find him horrible looking is bothering me.
I know alot of people are probably going to say that I shouldn't care what other people think and I should stop being so shallow but the fact is it's bothereing me. I came into work yesterday and he's no longer attractive to me because I keep picturing my friends laughing at my choice of guy.
Am I being ridiculous or can anyone see where I'm coming from?
Also, how can i block out what they said and like him again??
I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league and i'm concerned of the looks were gonna get walking down the street together. I know i shouldn't care what complete strangers think but it's putting me off him big time, poor guy.

Thanks

vandermeyde

Sounds like he had a lucky escape so :rolleyes:

star-pants

Your friends wouldn't be the ones dating him
The public wouldn't be the ones dating him

You would.

I do understand the fact that you're aware he's not overly attractive -- people become more attractive the more you get to know him. I suggest you do that, and see what happens.

justsomebloke

vandermeyde wrote: »

Sounds like he had a lucky escape so :rolleyes:

agreed. hopefully he never finds out about it or chances are that he won't even rate you as a friend let alone a potential partner. Seriously girl get over yourself

togster

Brave thread. I can relate to your situation, my girlfriend is a model and i am not. It doesn't bother her and it doesn't bother me. But thats us. If it bothers you it is a reflection on you not him. You need to look at your-self and why your friends approval is so important. But instead of criticising you i would say this, likes too short to care what other people think, as it will infiltrate every aspect of your life. So grow up and decide if you want him and find him attractive... maybe hes not interested in you?!

Beruthiel

vandermeyde wrote: »

Sounds like he had a lucky escape so

Indeed, because if you actually care about what others think of your potential partner then you have a bit of growing up to do yet.
Also, what kind of so called friends would make those kind of comments in the first place?
He'll still have you laughing when your sixty, you won't have your looks.

fits

What horrible friends you must have.

The guy sounds really lovely to me, if you like him go for it...

whiskeyman

Shallow Hal anyone?

biko

Here's my suggestion:
Start seeing the guy if he likes you too (he might not be interested) and then introduce him to your friends one or two at the time. That way he'll win them over too and problem is gone.

Do what's best for YOU, that's the way to go imo.

beans

I know it's easier to say than to do, but you'll enjoy life more if you stop paying so much attention to those around you and take more time out to think about what you feel about a situation.

I do know what you mean though. I used to think like this, probably an insecurity thing. It's liberating when you begin to trust your own instincts on these things, you feel like you're living your own life rather than putting on a perpetual show for the benefit of others. Good luck.

lol at the title by the way

AngryBadger

To be honest you obviously are fairly shallow if it bothers you to this extent.

Everybody wants to find someone they're attracted to on a physical and a non-physical level, when one or the other isn't there it's not going to work out.

But in your case you don't want to go out with this guy because you think your friends will laugh at you. So yeah, you are shallow, and IN FACT it's this guy (not you) who can do a lot better.

Blackpitts

SoShallow? wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I've recently fallen for a guy that I work with and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. When I initially saw him I didn't rate him very highly in the looks department but as I got to know him i discovered that he's a really cool guy and is hilarious. He has the whole office in stitches the entire time and that's a very attractive quality to me.
Anyway, not being big headed but I'm a former Miss Donegal and have been told i could get any guy I want - the guy I want is him. Trouble is, a gang of us went for drinks after work last Satyrday and a bunch of my friends joined us. When I pointed him out to my friends they were all shocked. They all kinda smirked and made remarks like 'You can do so much better', 'Why are you settling for a minger like him' and 'What the hell are you thinking!!'.
These comments really hurt because I like him so much but knowing that my friends find him horrible looking is bothering me.
I know alot of people are probably going to say that I shouldn't care what other people think and I should stop being so shallow but the fact is it's bothereing me. I came into work yesterday and he's no longer attractive to me because I keep picturing my friends laughing at my choice of guy.
Am I being ridiculous or can anyone see where I'm coming from?
Also, how can i block out what they said and like him again??
I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league and i'm concerned of the looks were gonna get walking down the street together. I know i shouldn't care what complete strangers think but it's putting me off him big time, poor guy.

Thanks

this kind of attitude really drives me mad! :mad:
your friends are ridiculous!
when a friend introduced me her/his partner, I've never used such nasty words even if he/she was ugly or not attractive to me. We should always have respect for other people choice and the beauty is in the eye of the beholder ffs! it's not my place to say "u can get more then him" because I assume you know him better than me and obviously he has some qualities.
What are you supposed to do? date a handsome d*ckhead instead?
U'd better off to change friends, you deserve more than them.

dudara

Beruthiel wrote: »

Indeed, because if you actually care about what others think of your potential partner then you have a bit of growing up to do yet.
Also, what kind of so called friends would make those kind of comments in the first place?
He'll still have you laughing when your sixty, you won't have your looks.

+1, especially with regard to the comments made by your so-called "friends".

fits

I've been thinking about this, and I know it shouldnt, but it would bother me if my friends dismissed a guy like that. However my friends wouldnt do such a thing based on looks alone.

OP I think you should trust your instincts on this guy, if he is what you say he is he will win your shallow friends over anyway.

kmick

If you like him ignore your friends. You can hook up with him on the QT for a while and when you are more comfortable let them in on the secret. Tell them he is super-rich and hung like a stallion. Shallow people will think you are wonderful.

Pompey Magnus

SoShallow? wrote: »

I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league

Sorry? What kind of a statement is that to make? If that is your attitude then you should forget about him and move on to some handsome bloke who is actually worthy to be seen in your presence. Otherwise don't listen to what your friends have to say and if you really want to be with him then go for it.

Spud83

Jeez it’s not like your Miss Ireland, Miss World, Miss Universe etc...

Former Miss Donegal, example of competition

Get over your self, besides you are all ready acting like you could have this guy. You never know he might all ready see you as the shallow cow you obviously are, and tell you to piss off. Ah here's hoping anyway.

I can all ready smell the ban stick

BoozyBabe

SoShallow? wrote: »

I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league

WTF!!!!:eek:

Who says? You?
That has to be the most "up my own árse" comment I've ever read on this forum!!!

The fact you even think leagues exist shows how pathetically immature you are!!!

Go & grow up!
Perhaps he doesn't go for the 'self-admiring' type & therefore isn't into you anyway!!!

As B said, a sense of humour stays forever, looks don't.
If you truely like this guy for who he is, then you shouldn't give a rats árse what your friends think of him.
You'd be dating him, not them & there's the possibility that 30 years down the line, when they've married some hunk who got the groups approval, that they'll be left on their own while he chases after a younger piece of skirt, & you're still laughing at 'not-so-hunky's' sense of humour!!

TBH, if you can walk back into work today & not find him attractive because of someone else's opinion, then he's far better off without you.

Glowing

Well your friends seem to be shallow - do you ever wonder if that's the only reason they hang around with you?

muppetkiller

I think the title sums you up perfectly..shallow indeed.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies so far, even the ones saying he had a lucky escape. I guess I am pretty shallow and that's bothering me too because I wish I wasn't. I do put alot of emphasis on looks and I just wish he was hotter. Is there anything wrong with wanting a really hot partner who your proud of though?
I'm always jealous when one of the girls has a hot guy on her arm and I suppose I wanna make them jealous of my guy. They are all envious of my looks so I want them to be envious of everything I have even my boyfriend.

babyguinnessfan

Read and then re-read Beruthiel's post.

Do you ever see couples in restaurants with not one word to say to each other? That's what will happen to you if you choose looks over personality. Maybe you don't realise it yet but personality is sooo much more important, all cliches aside. Would you prefer to be stuck next to a boring hunk who is checking out the waitresses or have a decent entertaining conversation?

And sorry if it's harsh but just because someone is good looking does not mean they have their automatic choice of partners - some people manage to look beyond the 'beauty'...so don't assume that the decision to go out with him is all yours...

l3LoWnA

I would advise you to go for it! And then I'd be crossing my fingers and praying to god that you get the knock-back you truly deserve. This guy is funny and obviously a nice guy, the fact is thatHE can more than likely do SO much better than YOU, (ie. meet someone equally funny and nice as himself!!!) so leave the guy alone, grow up and get over yourself!

What in the name is "Miss Donegal?" And who cares?! And by the way, your friends are a true reflection of how shallow you are yourself!!

Sorry, but her attitude (could it be a troll?!) has just tipped me over the edge today :eek:

JohnCleary

LOL wouldn't it be funny if you asked him out, and he turned you down

Ms. Donegal? Nothing special, apart from ye have sexy accents. An 'average' Eastern European girl would put ya to shame tbh

DonJose

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Jeez it’s not like your Miss Ireland, Miss World, Miss Universe etc...

Former Miss Donegal, example of competition

LOL you beat me to it, whats the population of Donegal anyway, most of those gals are just making up the numbers

magick

SoShallow? wrote: »

Hi Guys,
I came into work yesterday and he's no longer attractive to me because I keep picturing my friends laughing at my choice of guy.

Am I being ridiculous or can anyone see where I'm coming from?
Also, how can i block out what they said and like him again??

I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league and i'm concerned of the looks were gonna get walking down the street together.
Thanks

looks like he did have a lucky escape!

with a girlfriend like this who needs enemies ?!

Ayla

SoShallow? wrote: »

I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league and i'm concerned of the looks were gonna get walking down the street together. I know i shouldn't care what complete strangers think but it's putting me off him big time, poor guy.

I will second (third? fourth?) the other posters who told you to get off your massive high horse. Who do you think you are to make such laim comments as this? Your friends may have expressed their shallowness to you, and maybe this is the first time you've seen it, but by god you're proving you're no better by your comments.

Your fears of strangers' opinions are putting you off him, and you think he's the "poor guy"??? Take a bite of some humble pie, dear, because some day you may be old and wrinkled and he'll still be laughing.

ferdi

OP all you are doing here is re-enforcing the perception that good looking people are often shallow stupid and stuck up. Go find yourself a former Mr. Donegal maybe?

LegacyUser

SoShallow? wrote: »

I'm always jealous when one of the girls has a hot guy on her arm and I suppose I wanna make them jealous of my guy. They are all envious of my looks so I want them to be envious of everything I have even my boyfriend.

Envy? Jealousy? Why is it so important that they're envious of everything you have? These are two very, very destructive emotions and certainly not anything I'd ever aspire to cause or feel.

Would you not rather your friends were _happy_ for you being with a nice guy than _envious_ of you with a good-looking one?

BoozyBabe

SoShallow? wrote: »

Is there anything wrong with wanting a really hot partner who your proud of though?
I'm always jealous when one of the girls has a hot guy on her arm and I suppose I wanna make them jealous of my guy. They are all envious of my looks so I want them to be envious of everything I have even my boyfriend.

Oh my God!!!
It gets worse!!!!

Are you SERIOUS!!!!

So, not being content with been given good genes (which may only be your opinion of yourself), you're only happy if you think everyone's jealous of the fact.
& then not being content with that, you want them to be jealous of everything else too.

God you've some growing up to do!!!!!

& can you not be proud to have an intellient, witty, really kind bloke who thinks the world of you & treats you well who is not 'model' material"

OP, you really need to see how there are SO much more important things in life than looks.
Seriously:- what age are you? You seem to be about 15.

You could go out tomorrow, get hit by a bus, be left in a wheelchair with serious facial disfigurement, you could have children with life debilitating diseases, you could have a hunk of a husband who dies at 30 from prostate cancer!!

If any of these things happened, would the fact that you were Miss Donegal make any difference???? Would the fact that your husband was a hunk make any difference?

Time to see the BIG picture

Zulu

Don't worry about it OP you have a ridiculous ego. The problem will solve itself once you've had a kid or two.

CrazyNoob

SoShallow? wrote: »

Anyway, not being big headed but I'm a former Miss Donegal

I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league Thanks

Miss Donegal - OH my GoD, Oh MY God I'm so impressed, WoW!!! :rolleyes::rolleyes: you absolute celeb, how lucky we mortals are to have been graced with your presence!! :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Here you go have the biggest medal from my imaginary medal cabinet

Here's a crash course in economics for you Miss Donegal - Looks dont last forever !!!!!!! so continue trading on them and you are a depreciating asset.

I'd work on your personality otherwise in 10-20 years you'll find that you'll be bottom of your so called league

Lucky escape - He is blessed!!!!

miles teg

Everyone seeks a partner for themselves with the best of qualities (including looks) so i don't think it's a huge thing that your friends mention it to you that he's not so great looking... no one here would slate you if you said your friends told you he was a b*stard personality wise, so why such a reaction over looks?

Even so, weigh up your friends' opinions and decide for yourself whether you want to be with him. If you decide to be with him, then your friends should accept it.

Ayla

So, hold on Shallow - were you expecting any sympathetic replies? You come out with statements like "I know I'm out of his league" and "I want my everyone to be jealous of everything I have" and you're looking for what in reply....??

I can't honestly say I've ever read such a load of bull. You really need to sit yourself down and think about what a ugly person you're becoming, because it won't be long before you and all of your "gorgeous" friends are pregnant with bloated ankles and saggy boobs.

Such a load of rubbish... you sad, sad girl.

LegacyUser

BoozyBabe wrote: »

Oh my God!!!
It gets worse!!!!

Are you SERIOUS!!!!

So, not being content with been given good genes (which may only be your opinion of yourself), you're only happy if you think everyone's jealous of the fact.
& then not being content with that, you want them to be jealous of everything else too.

God you've some growing up to do!!!!!

& can you not be proud to have an intellient, witty, really kind bloke who thinks the world of you & treats you well who is not 'model' material"

OP, you really need to see how there are SO much more important things in life than looks.
Seriously:- what age are you? You seem to be about 15.

You could go out tomorrow, get hit by a bus, be left in a wheelchair with serious facial disfigurement, you could have children with life debilitating diseases, you could have a hunk of a husband who dies at 30 from prostate cancer!!

If any of these things happened, would the fact that you were Miss Donegal make any difference???? Would the fact that your husband was a hunk make any difference?

Time to see the BIG picture

I appreciate why you're being so harsh. I must sound like a complete bitch, I'm not really I just focus too much on appearances. I judge evrybody by the way they present themselves pyhsically. I didn't even realise until right now how awful that is. Your right, I do have some growing up to do. I'm 29 aswell so I should really know better.

Ayla

miles teg wrote: »

Everyone seeks a partner for themselves with the best of qualities (including looks) so i don't think it's a huge thing that your friends mention it to you that he's not so great looking... no one here would slate you if you said your friends told you he was a b*stard personality wise, so why such a reaction over looks.

In my opinion, there is a massive difference between judging on personality vs looks. If OP's friends had said, "no, don't go for mr. x b/c he's a jerk and he'll treat you horribly," well, then, we'd appreciate the fact that the OP had friends who care for her well-being. The difference is, however, that the friends had no idea what type of guy mr. x is, and found him only to be less attractive because he's not stylish/handsome/sexy/whatever. That is a purely cosmetic judgement.

*a*

ha that did make me laugh!!! Look beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you have a person in your life that you are really happy with then who gives a damn what they look like. I am with my bf years and love him to bits, and although he can look non a-typical sometimes and get funny looks, he is sweet, kind, funny and very good to me. My friends may not find him attractive but they think he is great.

In five years or so things will start the journey south, your face will get lines and so will your partners - will you trade him in then for a younger model that people will be jealous of? Will he trade you in for a younger model, a younger girl with perkier boobs, less wrinkles etc?

Your friends need a wake up, maybe they are jealous, think that he will take you away from them???

This generation, is, in my opinion, convinced that they will never get old or lose their looks, but they will, and in years to come you will want a partner to make you laugh, to hold your hand when you cry, who will be there for you and love you for what is inside!

If you were dating a Brad Pitt look alike, that made all of the girls jealous and god forbid his was in a horrible disfiguring accident would you dump him because 'other' people didn't find him attractive?

I think that by being attracted to someone who isn't 'hot' shows signs of maturity, that you are looking for a partner, not just a fancy man - accept that you have more maturity than your friends, give it a try and forget about looks for just five minutes - you may have the best five minutes of your life!

BobTheBeat

Your fairly rapped up in yourself OP, its a real shame. It sounds like there is a normal person struggling to get out! Your obsession with your looks and all its trappings have made you very insecure about yourself (as strange as it may sound). Your "friends" are also doing your confidence no favours. If youre serious about this guy, tell them to fcuk off and do your own thing.

miles teg

Ayla wrote: »

In my opinion, there is a massive difference between judging on personality vs looks. If OP's friends had said, "no, don't go for mr. x b/c he's a jerk and he'll treat you horribly," well, then, we'd appreciate the fact that the OP had friends who care for her well-being. The difference is, however, that the friends had no idea what type of guy mr. x is, and found him only to be less attractive because he's not stylish/handsome/sexy/whatever. That is a purely cosmetic judgement.

I'm not saying judge on one trait alone. looks and personality (like any other trait) influence a person's opinion about someone. There's nothing wrong with a purely cosmetic opinion... which isn't automatically a judgement.

If the op decided to go out with the person and then her friends didn't mention his looks again, I see no problem. They just gave their opinions... she's the one who has to make the judgement based on everything else

Ayla

miles teg wrote: »

Looks and personality (like any other trait) influence a person's opinion about someone... which isn't automatically a judgement.

If the op decided to go out with the person and then her friends didn't mention his looks again, I see no problem. They just gave their opinions... she's the one who has to make the judgement based on everything else

I would agree with you if the OP's opinon of the guy hadn't completely changed b/c of her friend's comments. They were making judgements (ie: he's a minger, you're too good for him, etc), and the OP allowed their statements to change her behaviour toward the guy. She then decided (and has stated) that he's "out of her league", based purely on the fact that she believes herself too beautiful to be with such a "beast".

I agree that there are multiple factors in selecting a partner, looks being one. But they are not the only, or the most important, factor.

babyguinnessfan

SoShallow wrote: »

I appreciate why you're being so harsh. I must sound like a complete bitch, I'm not really I just focus too much on appearances. I judge evrybody by the way they present themselves pyhsically. I didn't even realise until right now how awful that is. Your right, I do have some growing up to do. I'm 29 aswell so I should really know better.

Well, assuming that you are not a troll, then maybe this is the wake-up call you needed so so badly. How about giving it a go with someone you are attracted to personality-wise and see how you go. You actually just need to radically modify your way of thinking about other people, their reactions, and also your own reactions. Maybe if you throw all your preconceptions out the window you may have a chance - try it...

BoozyBabe

Well, I'm sorry if I came across as harsh, but I hope this has given you the wake up call you need!!

Also, you're 29, yes, you should know better, so should your friends.

Ever wonder why someone as wonderful as yourself hasn't been snapped up long ago in your 29 years of existance?
That's not meant to be cruel, & it's not a question you need to answer publicly. Think about it to yourself. If you're SO beautiful, then your personality must stink if some guy hasn't wanted you for their own at this stage.

If you like the guy, give him a chance.
If your friends have an issue with that, tell them what has been said to you here.
There IS more to life. You may find, if you give this guy a chance, that you've never been SO happy in all your life.

Blackpitts

SoShallow wrote: »

I appreciate why you're being so harsh. I must sound like a complete bitch, I'm not really I just focus too much on appearances. I judge evrybody by the way they present themselves pyhsically. I didn't even realise until right now how awful that is. Your right, I do have some growing up to do. I'm 29 aswell so I should really know better.

now you are talking!
date the guy, if you like him he can make u happy!

or go for a handsome, steamy and hot a*sehole...but I'm sure i'll see another post from you here in the PI forum in less than a month, title "men are all bastards"

miles teg

Ayla wrote: »

I would agree with you if the OP's opinon of the guy hadn't completely changed b/c of her friend's comments. They were making judgements (ie: he's a minger, you're too good for him, etc), and the OP allowed their statements to change her behaviour toward the guy. She then decided (and has stated) that he's "out of her league", based purely on the fact that she believes herself too beautiful to be with such a "beast".

I agree that there are multiple factors in selecting a partner, looks being one. But they are not the only, or the most important, factor.

you're assuming she judged based on looks solely as opposed to reevaluated all traits again (straw that broke the camel's back type thingy) and then changed her mind. Besides, she still hasn't made her mind up because she asking advise here plus my original post said weigh up everything and then make a decision...not make a decision one looks alone. I also never said looks were the most important thing.

LegacyUser

My god woman, you deserve to be a spinster with an attitude like that!

Working in LA 6 years ago as a typical irish noob... I was on the tear with a couple of lads from the office we were all 24/25 they had spent 10 years in the gym working on their 6 packs... I had spent 10 years drinking 6 packs! So you can imagine they were in better shape!

Anyway to cut a long story short we were in a bar and this girl walked up to our table and said " can i buy you a drink?" I didnt even contemplate that she was asking me. One of the guys said "Miller please" She replied "not you the guy in the blue shirt do you want a beer?"
(I've got a Joe o'shea type head(from seoighe and o'shea) Pretty stocky but not fat but tbh i wouldnt consider myself good looking at least not over there... Her on the other hand she was think christina aguilera in her latest marllyn monroe type outfits/hairdo.

While i was working there we date "exclusively" (americans terms!) for a year everyone in the office was baffled how i pulled her (even though it was the other way around)

When i went to meet her friends after 2 months of dating, not surprisinly they were pretty shocked when my girl had told them about this "hot funny etc guy" that she had been dating... then i turn up. Initially they were a bit odd and a few years later i found out that they thought i was very odd looking! But thankfully my girl wasnt as shallow as i thought....

Skipping to the ending she basically came back to live with me were now married. Only recently did she tell me the reason behind asking me out. She had been dating these "good looking" types for a few years and now im not stereotyping, but she said they were idiots, no personality but she had been picking them because they looked good. When she seen me she seen me make my friends laugh she over heard us talking about european economics... (yes exciting pub chat!) so she took a plunge and hopefully she hasnt regretted it!

Honestly give the guy a chance!

dudara

I think that the OP has a fair idea right now of our general opinion. Let's tone it down a bit and see if anything else interesting can be said.

Ayla

miles teg wrote: »

you're assuming she judged based on looks solely as opposed to reevaluated all traits again (straw that broke the camel's back type thingy) and then changed her mind.

So, you're suggesting she liked the guy for his personality, then after the friends called him ugly, she reevaluated all traits and decided she didn't like him after all?

miles teg wrote: »

Besides, she still hasn't made her mind up because she asking advise here plus my original post said weigh up everything and then make a decision...not make a decision one looks alone. I also never said looks were the most important thing.

I didn't suggest that's what you said, I was just summarizing my point. Anyway, it's quitting time here at work, so I'm outta here -

pookie82

I sincerely hope that you end up with a really good looking, totally selfish, two timing, inconsiderate idiot who you have a great time showing off to your airhead friends. Leave this guy alone he deserves ALOT more than you. Much as you'll disagree I'm sure, HE is way out of YOUR league. If you've gievn him any indication of your true personality so far hopefully he'll have the cop on to steer well clear. As for everybody being jealous of you, I'm sure that that only applies to people as sad and small minded as yourself. You go out there and get a knock out guy to keep them talking for weeks and leave the genuinely good people to lead real lives based on maturity and genuine feelings. I initially thought that this was a troll but I'm disgusted to find that it looks like it's not.

LegacyUser

Well speaking as a guy who's pretty average looking I have been in your guy's corner once.

I dated for a few years a stunningly attractive girl who could have had a lot better looking guys than me without a doubt. Now I'm not ugly but I'm no model either and am under no illusions that I'm a head turner. I sometimes would get abuse in the pub from guys who thought she was way too good looking for me and I know that her friends all thought she could do better. But we stayed together for quite a while and the looks thing never bothered her.

Some of my friends are dating girls that I do not find attractive in the slightest - completely not my type but I respect the fact that they are attractive to my mates and would never be so rude as to insult them based on how they look. The thing is if someone's nice and treat my friends (guys and girls) well and make them happy then who the **** am I to comment on how they look? It's ridiculously rude and really really immature.

I know many girls that are the 'looks are most important' type and you see them getting hurt over and over because they judge people solely on how they appear. I'm not saying looks aren't important but there's lots of different types. I have had girlfriends that I found (and still find) amazingly sexy and gorgeous and other people wouldn't see it at all. Doesn't matter a flying **** to me as long as we're happy, that's all that matters.

Movershaker

You must be pretty insecure to need a good looking guy on your arm to make your friends jealous. Also, who wants to make their friends jealous? Sounds you are all about 15, I think some growing up is in order. And "former Miss Donegal"? I seriously hope this thread is a wind up because that is a highly knobbish statement to make.

metaoblivia

OP, I think you must be very insecure to place such importance on what others think of you. It's okay to want a partner that you find attractive. But it sounds to me like you're letting other people's view of what's attractive dictate whom you date.
You may well be very attractive, but that's not the issue here, and neither is the attractiveness of this guy. The issue is your own insecurity and lack of confidence in your ability to make decisions for yourself. As long as you keep seeking the approval of others, you're never going to be happy.