SoShallow? wrote: » Anyway, not being big headed but I'm a former Miss Donegal I'll hold my hands up and admit that I know i'm way out of his league Thanks
BoozyBabe wrote: » Oh my God!!! It gets worse!!!! Are you SERIOUS!!!! So, not being content with been given good genes (which may only be your opinion of yourself), you're only happy if you think everyone's jealous of the fact. & then not being content with that, you want them to be jealous of everything else too. God you've some growing up to do!!!!! & can you not be proud to have an intellient, witty, really kind bloke who thinks the world of you & treats you well who is not 'model' material" OP, you really need to see how there are SO much more important things in life than looks. Seriously:- what age are you? You seem to be about 15. You could go out tomorrow, get hit by a bus, be left in a wheelchair with serious facial disfigurement, you could have children with life debilitating diseases, you could have a hunk of a husband who dies at 30 from prostate cancer!! If any of these things happened, would the fact that you were Miss Donegal make any difference???? Would the fact that your husband was a hunk make any difference? Time to see the BIG picture
miles teg wrote: » Everyone seeks a partner for themselves with the best of qualities (including looks) so i don't think it's a huge thing that your friends mention it to you that he's not so great looking... no one here would slate you if you said your friends told you he was a b*stard personality wise, so why such a reaction over looks.
Ayla wrote: » In my opinion, there is a massive difference between judging on personality vs looks. If OP's friends had said, "no, don't go for mr. x b/c he's a jerk and he'll treat you horribly," well, then, we'd appreciate the fact that the OP had friends who care for her well-being. The difference is, however, that the friends had no idea what type of guy mr. x is, and found him only to be less attractive because he's not stylish/handsome/sexy/whatever. That is a purely cosmetic judgement.
miles teg wrote: » Looks and personality (like any other trait) influence a person's opinion about someone... which isn't automatically a judgement. If the op decided to go out with the person and then her friends didn't mention his looks again, I see no problem. They just gave their opinions... she's the one who has to make the judgement based on everything else
SoShallow wrote: » I appreciate why you're being so harsh. I must sound like a complete bitch, I'm not really I just focus too much on appearances. I judge evrybody by the way they present themselves pyhsically. I didn't even realise until right now how awful that is. Your right, I do have some growing up to do. I'm 29 aswell so I should really know better.
Ayla wrote: » I would agree with you if the OP's opinon of the guy hadn't completely changed b/c of her friend's comments. They were making judgements (ie: he's a minger, you're too good for him, etc), and the OP allowed their statements to change her behaviour toward the guy. She then decided (and has stated) that he's "out of her league", based purely on the fact that she believes herself too beautiful to be with such a "beast". I agree that there are multiple factors in selecting a partner, looks being one. But they are not the only, or the most important, factor.
miles teg wrote: » you're assuming she judged based on looks solely as opposed to reevaluated all traits again (straw that broke the camel's back type thingy) and then changed her mind.
miles teg wrote: » Besides, she still hasn't made her mind up because she asking advise here plus my original post said weigh up everything and then make a decision...not make a decision one looks alone. I also never said looks were the most important thing.
metaoblivia wrote: » OP, I think you must be very insecure to place such importance on what others think of you. It's okay to want a partner that you find attractive. But it sounds to me like you're letting other people's view of what's attractive dictate whom you date. You may well be very attractive, but that's not the issue here, and neither is the attractiveness of this guy. The issue is your own insecurity and lack of confidence in your ability to make decisions for yourself. As long as you keep seeking the approval of others, you're never going to be happy.
micmclo wrote: » You're 29 OP. As stated before, in 10 years you will be far from as attractive as you claim to be and no amount of spa treatments or facials can can solve this. In fact, you're already on a downward slope.
JoeyNormal wrote: » Some of my friends are dating girls that I do not find attractive in the slightest - completely not my type but I respect the fact that they are attractive to my mates and would never be so rude as to insult them based on how they look. The thing is if someone's nice and treat my friends (guys and girls) well and make them happy then who the **** am I to comment on how they look? It's ridiculously rude and really really immature.
JoeyNormal wrote: » I know many girls that are the 'looks are most important' type and you see them getting hurt over and over because they judge people solely on how they appear. I'm not saying looks aren't important but there's lots of different types. I have had girlfriends that I found (and still find) amazingly sexy and gorgeous and other people wouldn't see it at all. Doesn't matter a flying **** to me as long as we're happy, that's all that matters.
Dudess wrote: » Sorry, but we're all on a downward slope already, no matter what age we are. Please don't use the sexist, ageist "you're a woman, you'll lose your looks in your 30s" line to tell the OP what's what. I'm not having a go at you personally but I just find that notion appalling because a) it's not always true and b) men don't seem to get that sh*t thrown at them half as much. To state that a 39-year-old woman is going to look "far" from how attractive she was at 29 is... to me, quite offensive. 59, fair enough, but 39 - that's just not true.
