W*nking in work

Kazobel

Right lads this is just a tread for the laugh but the rumour is that men think of sex every 12 seconds so have you ever gotten flustered in work and felt the need to run to the jacks and crack one off just to relieve the stress? :D

Off to AH with you.

SligoBrewer

Kazobel wrote: »

Right lads this is just a tread for the laugh but the rumour is that men think of sex every 12 seconds so have you ever gotten flustered in work and felt the need to run to the jacks and crack one off just to relieve the stress? :D

nope.

not yet anyways

Archeron

Once, at about 7.30 in the morning. I was the only person in at the time and I still feel at odds about it.

(Now I go to my car instead)

GhostInTheRuins

Once. My excuse is that there was a pile of porn mags on the window ledge over the toilet.

Kazobel

D.T. Jesus wrote: »

Once. My excuse is that there was a pile of porn mags on the window ledge over the toilet.

Porn mags? in your job? :eek:

Bluefoam

I worked in a place where there was a mag above one of the ceiling tiles in the can...

Somnus

Yes

Over the summer just gone. Some days there wouldnt be much work for me to do and I'd end up doing it just cause there was nothing better for me to do!!

Was always a bit uncomfotable though...

Pighead

Kazobel wrote: »

Right lads this is just a tread for the laugh but the rumour is that men think of sex every 12 seconds so have you ever gotten flustered in work and felt the need to run to the jacks and crack one off just to relieve the stress? :D

No offence Kazobel but thats a highly personal and sensitive question you're asking Pighead to answer. How would you like if we were at a dinner party and Pighead asked you "Hey ya Kazobel, was just wondering how wide your fanny was?"

Would you answer? No, probably not. And nobody around the table would blame you for not doing so. Some questions are not for public consumption.

metaoblivia

I'm not a guy, but there's definitely been a few times when I'm at work and can't wait to get home to, uh, relieve some stress.

randylonghorn

There's enough intellectual onanism doing the rounds where I work without adding the physical variety, tbh.

GhostInTheRuins

Kazobel wrote: »

Porn mags? in your job? :eek:

Yeah, one of the guys that worked there (He's gone now) had porn mags everywhere in the place, hundreds of them, in drawers, under machines etc, he even had a blow up sheep that he told everyone was for halloween. I'm fairly sure he stored them in work because he couldn't bring them home because he still lived with his mam

Red Hand

I often wink at work.;)

Pigman II

All the time but, as a mark of respect to my co-workers, never at my desk ... except for lunchbreaks of course.

RoyalMarine

i do it a lot. i work night's, and have a tv to watch. also have the internet.

although an ex colleague of mine got sacked for it before. although he dd it in front of a camera.
great story when we see him in a pub!

Terry

Pighead wrote: »

No offence Kazobel but thats a highly personal and sensitive question you're asking Pighead to answer. How would you like if we were at a dinner party and Pighead asked you "Hey ya Kazobel, was just wondering how wide your fanny was?"

Would you answer? No, probably not. And nobody around the table would blame you for not doing so. Some questions are not for public consumption.

LMFAO.

Boston

Pighead wrote: »

No offence Kazobel but thats a highly personal and sensitive question you're asking Pighead to answer. How would you like if we were at a dinner party and Pighead asked you "Hey ya Kazobel, was just wondering how wide your fanny was?"

Would you answer? No, probably not. And nobody around the table would blame you for not doing so. Some questions are not for public consumption.

What fanny?

SligoBrewer

this is AH stuff tbh..

EDIT: i see its been moved.. great

TheThing!

Ah yer a feicin legend for making this thread. I am in college and I dont be jerking the dick off myself before lectures, but I do have sex with all the hot girls in my dorm afters

Mental Mickey

Kazobel wrote: »

Right lads this is just a tread for the laugh but the rumour is that men think of sex every 12 seconds so have you ever gotten flustered in work and felt the need to run to the jacks and crack one off just to relieve the stress? :D

You obviously don't have much social interaction, do ya mate??? Get a life.

1st prize for the f**king stupidest thread EVER!

:rolleyes:

Terry

Infraction for Mental Mickey.

Hagar

Bluefoam wrote: »

I worked in a place where there was a mag above one of the ceiling tiles in the can...

We are all dying to find out how you accidentally found it, in the ceiling...

Karoma

Hagar wrote: »

We are all dying to find out how you accidentally found it, in the ceiling...

He saw a cat and followed it...

Jigsaw

Generally speaking I would rub one out at least once a day in work. On days of particularly unrelenting monotony I will knock a couple out. I am very discreet. It breaks up the day for me and no one gets hurt. Where's the harm?

Pigman II

Karoma wrote: »

He saw a cat and followed it...

Ceiling cat caught me once but I gave him a good show.

Ninja_scrotum

Mental Mickey wrote: »

You obviously don't have much social interaction, do ya mate??? Get a life.

1st prize for the f**king stupidest thread EVER!

:rolleyes:

Look at your name ya eejit!!

I wanked at work when I used to work in a swimming pool. At lunchtime the staff could go for a swim. My supervisor usually swam at the same time as me. She was super hot. I had to relieve myself after seeing her in her skimpy piece of nothing.

Bluefoam

Hagar wrote: »

We are all dying to find out how you accidentally found it, in the ceiling...

I found out from a couple of others. It seemed a bit creepy, I couldn't look, coz it was known by a lot of people. I'm sure the pages were stuck together...

randylonghorn

Hagar wrote: »

We are all dying to find out how you accidentally found it, in the ceiling...

Actually, I'm more curious as to what type of work Bluefoam and especially D. T. Jesus do ...

hallelujah

I masterbate at work once a day on average. Since I have stopped smoking, its not uncommon for me to have 3 or 4 a day. Its really off putting when the fella next to you is doing a sheeite.

randylonghorn

hallelujah wrote: »

Its really off putting when the fella next to you is doing a sheeite.

He, on the other hand, is no doubt delighted with the in-house sound effects.

The Queen

Everyone should do it! Sure, ya get paid for it!! I have! And I'm a girl!

allanb49

a mate of mine in the place where i used to work often went off to the toilet to crack one off a few times at the time i was there their was a full size cut out of lara croft/angelina jolie. I did my best not to use that toilet and if i had to i ran over to the mcdonalds.

allanb49

The Queen wrote: »

Everyone should do it! Sure, ya get paid for it!! I have! And I'm a girl!

The first signs of prostitution me thinks

GhostInTheRuins

randylonghorn wrote: »

Actually, I'm more curious as to what type of work Bluefoam and especially D. T. Jesus do ...

You really want to know about a place that staff store their porn collection and the guy that used to run it (Aged 60+ with wife and kids) loved to tell me about his bestiality fetish whenever he got the chance? Lets just say it wasn't a glamorous job.

GhostInTheRuins

allanb49 wrote: »

i had to i ran over to the mcdonalds.

Don't be fooled into thinking that nobody whacks off in mcdonalds. speaking from experience here

Zzippy

allanb49 wrote: »

a mate of mine in the place where i used to work often went off to the toilet to crack one off a few times at the time i was there their was a full size cut out of lara croft/angelina jolie. I did my best not to use that toilet and if i had to i ran over to the mcdonalds.

Why, are you gay?
Or did Angelina intimidate you so much you couldn't get it up???

Poxyshamrock

i've done it a few times. there was a few mags lying around the place and it was obvious the other lads did it aswell.

thefinalstage

The Queen wrote: »

Everyone should do it! Sure, ya get paid for it!! I have! And I'm a girl!

Which hardware store in Galway is that?

SimpleSam06

The Queen wrote: »

sure, ya get paid for it!!

:eek: They pay you to fiddle with yourself at work? Do you get a bonus if you finish early?

big b

allanb49 wrote: »

The first signs of prostitution me thinks

eh?

arybvtcw0eolkf

Of course I've done it in work, they don't call me 'The heavyweight Belly Button Boxing Champion of the Defence Forces' for nothing ya know

barryfitz

All the time. But Id never admit to it !:D:p

Terry

Ninja_scrotum wrote: »

Look at your name ya eejit!!.

I don't see it.

Also, less of that, please.

monkeyfudge

I think I may have done it once or twice... it's never particularly satisfying... better to wait till you get home.

Although this thread does remind me of this Big Train sketch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn6Z9djh8eA

Riesen_Meal

Once or twice, when I got a few dirty txts ive been known to "put one in the bank" before I get home!!!

Mr. Incognito

Where's the poll!

I think there would be a lot more yes's that one would expect. I have once when I was hungover, and had been with a really frustrating one night girl and needed some relief. Don't think I'd make a habit of it. I enjoy going home after work and cracking on a bit of the porn from time to time, much more comfortable.

JIZZLORD

i've never, and will never **** at work. i'd hate if i walked in on somewhere to smell it

Dun laoire

Wouldnt it be just awful if sperm had a really strong smell. Where would you go??

Dun laoire

The Queen wrote: »

Everyone should do it! Sure, ya get paid for it!! I have! And I'm a girl!

*drool*

_blank_

JIZZLORD wrote: »

i've never, and will never **** at work. i'd hate if i walked in on somewhere to smell it

Fresh semen has little or no detectable smell.

The_B_Man

lol and that comin from someone who calls himsell "Jizzlord"!!