How do you clean your bum?

HelterSkelter

This is something I've wondered about for a while now. Why do we wipe our arse with paper after taking a dump? I mean, if you accidentally got **** on your hand would you clean it off with paper? No, you would most likely use warm water and soap? So why then use paper on your bum?!! I have started using water instead of toilet paper and find it a lot cleaner.

kev_s88

definitely with paper.no other option for me

two question though... how do you get the water up there with enough pressure to clean anything??? and do you dry yourself off afterwards??

HelterSkelter

kev_s88 wrote: »

definitely with paper.no other option for me

two question though... how do you get the water up there with enough pressure to clean anything??? and do you dry yourself off afterwards??

You keep a little jug beside the toilet and fill it from the tap. And yeah, use the toilet paper to dry off.

Tigger

kev_s88 wrote: »

definitely with paper.no other option for me

two question though... how do you get the water up there with enough pressure to clean anything??? and do you dry yourself off afterwards??

bye kev

MicraBoy

And how do you apply said water from said jug?

ScumLord

Just use your hands to get a Thorough clean your going to wash them anyway. You could use wet paper but it'll have to be bounty you don't want to have lumps of toilet paper stuck to your arse hairs.

super_furry

Can I get a ruling on the use of 'YORE MA!" here?

Slow Motion

Ah the old toilet threads have appeared again :rolleyes: Been a couple of weeks. Roll on the how many dumps a day/is yours hard or soft/ how long does it take you...........:rolleyes:

Mr. CooL ICE

To be honest, we shouldn't need to wipe our arses. If we all had a strict diet that covered each type of nutrition we needed, it would cause us to be regular AND have the type of sh1t where you sit down, don't squeeze, and let nature take its course.

How many dogs do you see taking a dump and wiping afterwards? We need to be more like dogs.

TerrorFirmer

LordChessington wrote: »

How many dogs do you see taking a dump and wiping afterwards? We need to be more like dogs.

And roam carelessly, sniffing ass, running in the wind, lapping our own testicles, with **** caked down our ass, not a care in the world? Brilliant. I'm in.

ongarite

Dogs lick their hole then afterwards, don't want to see us doing that..

GhostInTheRuins

LordChessington wrote: »

How many dogs do you see taking a dump and wiping afterwards? We need to be more like dogs.

My dog wipes her arse in the grass afterwards.

Tigger

LordChessington wrote: »

To be honest, we shouldn't need to wipe our arses. If we all had a strict diet that covered each type of nutrition we needed, it would cause us to be regular AND have the type of sh1t where you sit down, don't squeeze, and let nature take its course.

How many dogs do you see taking a dump and wiping afterwards? We need to be more like dogs.

wrong wrong wrong

its because animals hace an inner bit that pops out deposits the movement then pops back in

now stop with this crap

Tigger

D.T. Jesus wrote: »

My dog wipes her arse in the grass afterwards.

then she needs her anal glands cleared
not joiking she'll be mouch more comfy

FlutterinBantam

A brisk application of a rough face cloth is yer man.

shifts all the fresh stuff and old winnits and leaves the the freckle shining like a new two euro coin.

If yer in a strange gaff just fold up the cloth and Bob's yer uncle,fresh as a daisy.

Dizzyblonde

Treat yourself and buy a packet of Andrex moist toilet tissues - they come in an airtight plastic box that you can place on your cistern.

'Because you're worth it'

GhostInTheRuins

rbd wrote: »

then she needs her anal glands cleared
not joiking she'll be mouch more comfy

Naw, I'm sure she'll be grand. Really.

FlutterinBantam

Tks for that tip

Tigger

D.T. Jesus wrote: »

Naw, I'm sure she'll be grand. Really.

thats cool i though you were being faecious

HelterSkelter

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

Treat yourself and buy a packet of Andrex moist toilet tissues - they come in an airtight plastic box that you can place on your cistern.

'Because you're worth it'

Actually if you wipe with toilet paper as you normally would, then use one of these wipes, you will see how much actually gets left behind....yuk!

kev_s88

just use something fluffy like a rabbit.

thats bound to pick up most of the left behinds

bman

kev_s88 wrote: »

just use something fluffy like a rabbit.

If I'm going using an animal I find hedgehogs the best. Adds an air of excitment to the process.

Reku

"How do I clean my bum?"
Thoroughly! Enough said!:cool:

Jesus Wept

Wheel out the guy who takes a shower everytime he takes a dump.

Red Hand

The-Rigger wrote: »

Wheel out the guy who takes a shower everytime he takes a dump.

Hmmmm...don't many toilets in Japan have a little shower installed in them?

Thats alot of guys to wheel out.:)

Dave!

Was this not closed earlier...?

FlutterinBantam

No!

mac123

in thailand and other parts of asia most toilets have a hose to wash your bits with, its weird at first but u get used to it and it seems cleaner!

FlutterinBantam

Bits!!!??

philstar

any posh people out there with a vidae...or has anyone used them in the past...do they work??

Or do you still have to wipe your hole afterwards??

Ghost Train

philstar wrote: »

any posh people out there with a vidae...or has anyone used them in the past...do they work??

Or do you still have to wipe your hole afterwards??

bidet i think you mean... handy yoks

i think the Japanese have it right with their high tech toilets that do the lot