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My girlfriend rarely showers

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    #62
    dudara
    Registered Users Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    I can't believe that this thread has attracted 4 pages of responses which consist mainly of posters recording their showering habits.

    Where is the response for the OP? Are people actually going to give him any advice here? He has difficulty in bringing something to his girlfriend's attention. Advise him on that.

    The next person to post about their showering habits or to post a generic comment along the lines of "shower every day" will be sent to the showers - pun intended.

    dudara


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    #63
    Cancer-chick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭Cancer-chick


    :o


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    #64
    kmick
    Registered Users Posts: 3,375 ✭✭✭kmick


    This is a tricky one - i would say make a comment about her feet smelling and that she should take a shower and time you feel sexylike. Other than that evry time she comes near move away a short distance. If she ask what is wrong say that she smells a bit funny. Then laugh and say you are only joking. Do it enough times and she will either start showering more frequently or dump you.


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    #65
    ntlbell
    Registered Users Posts: 16,288 ✭✭✭✭ntlbell


    kmick wrote:
    This is a tricky one - i would say make a comment about her feet smelling and that she should take a shower and time you feel sexylike. Other than that evry time she comes near move away a short distance. If she ask what is wrong say that she smells a bit funny. Then laugh and say you are only joking. Do it enough times and she will either start showering more frequently or dump you.

    Then pull her pig tails and run away.

    They're not frickin 12

    It's simple, explain to her you don't think she showers enough that 3 times a week is not enough.

    Explain what effect it has on you from a sexual pov etc.


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    #66
    bill_ashmount
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭bill_ashmount


    Wow, I can't believe don't shower every day. I just assumed every one does, lol. :)

    I'd shower every morning, some days i'll have two showers.


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    #67
    Cancer-chick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭Cancer-chick


    dudara should bill not get a comment too ???


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    #68
    bill_ashmount
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,047 ✭✭✭bill_ashmount


    Cancer-chick wrote:
    dudara should bill not get a comment too ???


    :o Opps, i posted my comment before i read the full thread. I was so amazed.


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    #69
    Cancer-chick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 147 ✭✭Cancer-chick


    sorry bill but tbh im still in shock myself :)

    I'm not posting anymore on this cos ill be killed :)

    But finally OP i think you have every right and in fact a duty to broach this topic with your gf.. there is no excuse not to if its something that you find a turn off either sexually or generally

    ps an update would be nice after all the posts!!!


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    #70
    StormWarrior
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,577 ✭✭✭StormWarrior


    It would probably embarrass the poor girl though, if you just say, "Please shower more!"

    Can't you find some statistics, or make some up, to drop into conversation, like, "I read today that within 24 hours after your last shower, 97% of your skin is once more covered in bacteria that can cause gastroenteritis and cause infertility!"

    Or something like that, doesn't have to be so drastic.


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    #71
    Call Me Jimmy
    Registered Users Posts: 8,449 ✭✭✭Call Me Jimmy


    OP if she doesn't have perfect skin she may find that showering every day is bad for her skin, i.e. excema etc. so it might be a conscious effort on her part not to shower every day, every 3 days should be ok if she isn't doing any sports or anything like that. You said yourself she doesn't smell bad. (Although with the recent hot weather, 3 days is pushing it)


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    #72
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    You guys are making showering daily sound like some moral obligation or something. Surely it would depend on the individual, the weather and their activity level no?


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    #73
    wyndham
    Registered Users Posts: 2,284 ✭✭✭wyndham


    dudara wrote:
    I can't believe that this thread has attracted 4 pages of responses which consist mainly of posters recording their showering habits.

    Where is the response for the OP? Are people actually going to give him any advice here? He has difficulty in bringing something to his girlfriend's attention. Advise him on that.

    Pull off some of her tangleberries during intercourse and ask her what they are.


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    #74
    Selphie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 428 ✭✭Selphie


    Somewhat similar problem. My boyfriend has longish hair and when he hasn't showered in a couple of days, which happens frequently, its quite obvious. his hair gets rather greasy. He doesn't tend to smell excessively, but its always very evident when he has had a shower.
    I wouldn't say the issue grates on me, as such, but I do think that physical attraction is an important element of some relationships, and therefore I don't see why the OP shouldn't be afraid to point this out. If something upsets you, say something about it.
    I broached the issue last week, with very little tactfulness. I just asked, "how often do you shower?" or "when did you last shower?" or something like that. He told me, its something like once or twice a week and asked me firstly, if it was noticeable, and secondly if it annoyed me. I shower at least every second day, if not every day, and I begin to feel somewhat grubby if for some reason I don't. So, thinking honesty was the best policy, I said that it was kind of noticeable, and that he should try to arrange his time better, i.e. get up twetny minutes earlier to have a shower. It caused no argument between us, however whether he starts to change will remains to be seen. Do tell her OP, just broach it gently in case she gets offended. Worst case scenario, she does, but at least she'll become aware of it.
    I know I'd want to be told if my bf thought that about me. I'd be mortified, but I'd prefer him to tell me rather than to have people I know discussing it in secret.


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    #75
    hunnymonster
    Registered Users Posts: 5,365 ✭✭✭hunnymonster


    you could try the subtle approach. When she does have a shower, tell her how wonderful she smells and how lovely her skin feels and ........
    When she doesn't shower, don't say anything.


    If that doesn't work you're just going to have to have a grown-up conversation along the lines of "I really like/love/lust (choose correct emotion) you but I think showering every day is important and it's starting to effect how I view you". She may well thump you for bringing it up but I'm not a fan of letting things fester and I would certainly rather know.


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    #76
    Dave!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,857 ✭✭✭✭Dave!


    ntlbell wrote:
    I would of thought so, I think (or thought) it was fairly common to shower twice a day, I usually have one before work and when I get home.

    Once or twice a week is sickening, I hope she doesn't expect you to drink from the furry cup after not washing for 3 days :confused:

    You do not need to be in the shower to wash yourself.

    Do people not understand this? Your tap dispenses hot water too, and I presume you have some cloths lying around. Soap, I find, is also available outside of the shower.
    nesf wrote:
    You guys are making showering daily sound like some moral obligation or something. Surely it would depend on the individual, the weather and their activity level no?

    Oh no no... Some people "just don't feel right" unless they shower every morning, noon, and night, so therefore everyone else must sweat the copious amount that they do, and thus must shower after every journey too. It only makes sense!!!


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    #77
    dudara
    Registered Users Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    wyndham banned for smartarse comments.

    Cancer chick, my comment was not directly explicitly at you - it was directed at all users on this thread.

    nesf, DaveMcG, hunnymonster, you are all experienced enough posters to know better. Final warning.

    To all other posters, if you want to discuss hygiene routines, please take it to Fashion & Appearance, because that is where it belongs.


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    #78
    greenteaicedtea
    Registered Users Posts: 204 ✭✭greenteaicedtea


    you could try the subtle approach. When she does have a shower, tell her how wonderful she smells and how lovely her skin feels and ........
    When she doesn't shower, don't say anything.

    I second this advice! You could be specific about how much you like the shampoo smell, eg. whether it's citrusy or lemony or flowery or whatever.


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    #79
    me and the biz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 433 ✭✭me and the biz


    yeah honesty is the best way. Just be direct and try not to be condescending


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    #80
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    dudara wrote:
    nesf, DaveMcG, hunnymonster, you are all experienced enough posters to know better. Final warning.

    To all other posters, if you want to discuss hygiene routines, please take it to Fashion & Appearance, because that is where it belongs.

    I think the point I made was valid within this thread's context. Whether or not there actually is something wrong with someone not showering daily is really at the crux of whether or not the OP has a right to expect their partner to do so. If the OP wanted their partner to shower four times daily I imagine most people would tell them that it is unreasonable etc.


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