My girlfriend rarely showers

LegacyUser

Ok, I don't know what to do, my girlfriend of 1year whom I love dearly rarely showers, she will shower between 1-2 times a week, am I just being stupid, is this normal? me I have to shower every morning otherwise I just don't feel 'fresh'. I can't imagine how on earth I would ever say it to her without hurting her feelings, I can't even do the whole 'I'd love to have a shower with you' etc because the shower in our flat is tiny, barely enough room for one!

She doesn't actually smell 'bad' but its very off putting getting intimate knowing that she hasn't showered in 4-5 days.

So people tell me am I being silly or is it normal to shower twice a week at most?

dame

That would be normal for children. Maybe they had a crappy shower or a lack of hot water when she was growing up and her family all just showered once/twice a week. If you went for a little jog together in the mornings or something she'd have to shower afterwards. I can't think of any other way to bring it up without being blunt and just saying it.

LegacyUser

I think you're being silly. You said she doesn't smell bad -- does she go to the gym regularly? Play sports? Do anything that might make her sweat profusely?

She probably washes her armpits, groin, feet, etc, individually when needed. It's not necessary to shower every day despite what some overly-sensitive people seem to think.

You said yourself she doesn't smell. It's purely your own psychological need to scrub yourself with steel wool every day that makes it "off-putting" to get intimate with her.

rain on

My other half is a good bit cleaner than I am (I'm sexy like that) and if he wants me to be cleaner he just says 'Will you have a shower before we go to bed?' and I do. Simple as that.

I wouldn't slip as far as twice a week though. Maybe every second day, if I was lazy. Twice a week is a bit ick.

rediguana

Just ask her about it in a fun, light-hearted way, perhaps when ye've had a few drinks. Maybe she has a reason. Nothing's as bad in a relationship as something that's unspoken but important.

I'm with you though, once or twice a week just isn't enough in this day and age.

cast_iron

rediguana wrote:

Maybe she has a reason.

I couldn't think of any reason why she can only shower 1/2 times a week as opposed to every day.

dame

cast_iron wrote:

I couldn't think of any reason why she can only shower 1/2 times a week as opposed to every day.

Maybe she has sensitive skin/allergies/eczema/contact dermatitis and washing too often makes it flare up.

dudara

OP, there is only one way to deal with this. Talk to her. It is never easy raising topics like this with someone, but talk to her.

rediguana

cast_iron wrote:

I couldn't think of any reason why she can only shower 1/2 times a week as opposed to every day.

"When I was in swimming class in primary school, three bullies held me under a freezing shower and nearly drowned me. That's why I hate having showers so much now".

I just mean something like this. Who knows? Just ask her.

Shewhomustbe...

I started reading this expecting the length of time between showers to be at least a couple of weeks, not 1-2 times a week being considered rarely.
That's how often a week I shower and no I do not smell (and that's not just my wish it were true opinion)
I find it weird that people need to shower daily, unless your job is VERY active or you play sport daily and thereby require a freshening up after.
It's not good for the skin to have the natural oils washed away constantly.

StormWarrior

My boyfriend showered only 2-3 times a week and it was not enough! I did ask him to wash more frequently but he got offended and refused to do so, or would do so occassionally under duress. It was very off-putting! When getting intimate sometimes I gagged. Suffice to say, he is now my ex-boyfriend.

chump

I wash once a week, on a sunday before heading back to work on the monday. No need to wash any more than that IMO.

Motley Crue

i would wash every morning (every 2nd day), although if i did some running or jogging i would wash after that too....quick shower about 5 to 10min...i mean i think that unless she washes herself for 30mins under the shower twice a week, or takes baths that you dont know about, you should raise the issue in a sensitive manner with her and just ask her to shower 3 or 4 times a week?

greenkittie

my housemate only showers when his girlfriend comes down from belfast which isnt very often

BeardyGit

StormWarrior wrote:

My boyfriend showered only 2-3 times a week and it was not enough! I did ask him to wash more frequently but he got offended and refused to do so, or would do so occassionally under duress. It was very off-putting! When getting intimate sometimes I gagged. Suffice to say, he is now my ex-boyfriend.

Did he dump you? I would have.... Personal hygiene isn't about showering every day, and it's certainly not about showering to cater to someone elses obsession....

OP, do you live with her? If you don't, how can you be so sure of her showering habits unless you've already discussed this?

I shower every day, and I find it odd that other people don't. But they really don't seem to. My bf showers say... 2-3 times a week. If it's been a few days and I start noticing a lack of cleanliness I just tell him he needs a shower. He doesn't mind. I'm sure I wouldn't mind if someone told me the same, in fact I'd want to know.
But... at the same time if she doesn't smell or something why is this a problem?

Gil_Dub:
"I can't even do the whole 'I'd love to have a shower with you' etc because the shower in our flat is tiny,"
-I'd say they live together, aye

StormWarrior

Gil_Dub wrote:

Did he dump you? I would have.... Personal hygiene isn't about showering every day, and it's certainly not about showering to cater to someone elses obsession....

No I dumped him (mainly for non shower related reasons.)
If someone smells bad and expects you to get up close and personal with them, I don't see why you shouldn't expect them to wash. It was really rank, especially considering he did a physical job and played sports. Its also just a sign of respect to your other half, if you don't care that they're gagging all the way through when you're getting intimate, you can't care for them very much.

StormWarrior

Gil_Dub wrote:

it's certainly not about showering to cater to someone elses obsession....

And I hardly think expecting someone to shower every day is an obsession.

Tar.Aldarion

Shower with her.

milod

OP, showering frequency is an issue only when a person smells bad - some people are lucky and don't sweat/exude/whatever as much as others so I'd go on empirical evidence and not get too anal about the concept if I were you!

Some folk actually like a person to smell human, though admittedly, there's a thin line between pheromones and a right old stink, but wait til she crosses the line before you get too serious about it...

What was that Napoleon said to Josephine? something like:

"I'll be home in 6 days, don't wash..."

Tar.Aldarion

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Shower with her.

Read the OP again...

Tar.Aldarion

I didn't read it in the first place :P
it's like mine so, squeeze damn you!

Dreamer 7

I shower 2 - 3 times a week, and freshen up when needed. I dont shower every day purley because my hair is mad curls and it takes so long to get it dried right I couldn't possibly do it every day.

Does she have curly hair, its a nightmare believe me

Beetlebum

Dreamer 7 wrote:

I shower 2 - 3 times a week, and freshen up when needed. I dont shower every day purley because my hair is mad curls and it takes so long to get it dried right I couldn't possibly do it every day.

Does she have curly hair, its a nightmare believe me

Curly hair is no excuse! I shower every morning, sometimes in the evening too just because I love the feeling of being fresh & clean and I have really long, thick, hair....one word for you - Showercap.

StormWarrior

Yeah a shower doesn't have to include washing your hair. I shower every day but wash my hair 2-3 times a week.

miles teg

Beetlebum wrote:

...I shower every morning, sometimes in the evening too just because I love the feeling of being fresh & clean ...

you must feel dirty fairly quick... 2 showers a day is a lot. I wash 2 - 3 times a week and that's enough to make me feel fresh and clean all the time. Maybe some people have to wash every day because they have a guilty conscience?

PinkPrincess26

Maybe she just doesnt like the shower, I personally hate it in the morning to cold, even if the heating is on. I love Baths... Maybe she does to... do you have a bath in your flat ??

If you said she doenst smell well then she obviously gives herself a quick underarm/ leg wash everyday...

Also washing your hair everyday is bad for your hair...

Kell

Ao anyways, OP, you have said she doesnt smell and I take it the moist bits dont smell either, so I dont see your problem.

As someone said, if you fancy gettin it on under the sheets of an evening, just ask her to hop in the shower first.

K-

jellie

my bf sweats a lot, which can get pretty smelly, but ive no problem telling him he smells & needs a shower & he has no problem with me telling him so (unless hes secretly crying inside..)

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Glowing

OP, what age is your girlfriend?

I personally wouldn't dream of not showering at least once a day - its just manners isn't it? I don't know why she wouldn't want to anyway, its so refreshing especially now that the weather is getting warmer .....

Duras

not_logged wrote:

I think you're being silly. You said she doesn't smell bad -- does she go to the gym regularly? Play sports? Do anything that might make her sweat profusely?

She probably washes her armpits, groin, feet, etc, individually when needed. It's not necessary to shower every day despite what some overly-sensitive people seem to think.

You said yourself she doesn't smell. It's purely your own psychological need to scrub yourself with steel wool every day that makes it "off-putting" to get intimate with her.

As the queen of England said few hundreds years ago: "I take a bath every spring, even if it is the case or not"

PinkPrincess26

Glowing wrote:

OP, what age is your girlfriend?

I personally wouldn't dream of not showering at least once a day - its just manners isn't it? I don't know why she wouldn't want to anyway, its so refreshing especially now that the weather is getting warmer .....

Manners??????

simu

Kell wrote:

Ao anyways, OP, you have said she doesnt smell and I take it the moist bits dont smell either, so I dont see your problem.

Yes, it seems that it's the idea of her not showering that bothers you, OP. Can't you get over it? There's a huge body products industry out there trying to convince us we need to wash more often than we do, spray ourselves with stuff in case we sweat (shock! horror!) and so on - don't let it brainwash you!

Not saying one should never wash but if there's no smell, there's no need!

Linoge

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

I was gonna say the same thing. There is no excuse for not having a shower daily, it takes 5 mins.

For those of you who don't need to feel fresh, feeling and being are 2 different things. Bodies aren't that different, if I need to have a shower every day you do too (unless you have some sort of sweat gland problem where you can't sweat).

As already said - hair thing - wear a shower cap.
Scared of showers - have a bath.
Washing the oils out of your skin? - Bollox
Skin problem - thats the only excuse I would tolerate

This is all besides the point. People who dont shower everyday don't do it because they dont need to, or feel they dont need to. They don't shower for the same reason that every other Saturday I don't (if I wasn't leaving the house), they are being lazy....

Tails142

I shower about two or three times a week, it would be very rare that I'd shower every day - only if the girlfriend was staying over. When I do shower though I like to give myself a good wash, would take 20 minutes maybe.

I generally always shower if I'm meeting up with my girlfriend - but every morning I wash my face and hands. I would consider myself to be pretty clean and never ever ever smell of B.O. yuck

When I go away on holidays with my mates I am always amazed at hom much some of my friends shower, its like an obsessive compulsive disorder. One of them has to have a shower in the evening if he's been working and then another in the morning... I know your supposed to sweat a litre of fluid overnight but that's just crazy... I have better things to be doing with my time

I think though its really just goes back to what way you were brought up, the shower in my house was crap and would often scald you for no apparent reason plus when showering I like to wash my hair and have a good scrub so it takes longer, that why I shower less frequently.

dame

Dreamer 7 wrote:

I shower 2 - 3 times a week, and freshen up when needed. I dont shower every day purley because my hair is mad curls and it takes so long to get it dried right I couldn't possibly do it every day.

Does she have curly hair, its a nightmare believe me

You don't even need a shower cap. Shower heads are usually mounted on a rail, so you can adjust the height down to your shoulders and tie your hair up. That's what I do. My hair's not curly, but my sister's is and she does that too.

Glowing

PinkPrincess26 wrote:

Manners??????

Yep, I think so.

Would you get into bed with a man who hadn't showered in 3 days, regardless of whether or not he smelled? Would you get into bed with somebody if you hadn't showered for a few days? I'm sure you wouldn't, out of respect for your partner .....

Cheese Princess

I really think a lot of people are obsessed with showering.

I shower about 5 times a week on average - each day of the weekend and if I feel the need on weekdays (usually after playing sports or if it's warm). So sometimes it might be every day.

Showering really dries out my skin and it does take a bit of time to moisturise afterwards so 5 minutes doesn't really do the trick.

In the winter I shower less often because it's cold so I'm not sweating and I don't play as much sports.

I think it's a personal choice and if you're not offensively dirty or smelly what's the problem?

ntlbell

daveirl wrote:

This post has been deleted.

I would of thought so, I think (or thought) it was fairly common to shower twice a day, I usually have one before work and when I get home.

Once or twice a week is sickening, I hope she doesn't expect you to drink from the furry cup after not washing for 3 days

Cancer-chick

I just can not imagine not taking a daily shower ..

Maybe its personal preference but Mr CC showers daily and i can tell ye he's a big improvement on the last Mr cc who seemed to have some sort of water phobia..

OP you have to say something.. Although i have to say i tried for years with the ex and got nowhere but most women i know .. no sorry ALL the women i know would app knowing that their nearest and dearest had a cleanliness issue with them. Maybe they would react differently but they would appreciate the topic being broached..

silvine

Showering twice a week? That is definitely not enough.

Just think of all the sweat, dirt, grime, piss and ****e that would accumulate after a day or two. While skipping the odd day is understandable, fact is it's more healthy and hygenic to wash once a day.

This isn't the dark ages we are living in. There is no excuse for not keeping clean.

Cheese Princess

At the end of the day it doesn't matter what other people think, it's obviously an issue for you so the only thing to do is mention it to her. If you've been together for a while then it shouldn't be a big deal.

ntlbell

silvine wrote:

Showering twice a week? That is definitely not enough.

Just think of all the sweat, dirt, grime, piss and ****e that would accumulate after a day or two.

You make it sound pretty romantic.

miles teg

silvine wrote:

Showering twice a week? That is definitely not enough.

Just think of all the sweat, dirt, grime, piss and ****e that would accumulate after a day or two. While skipping the odd day is understandable, fact is it's more healthy and hygenic to wash once a day.

This isn't the dark ages we are living in. There is no excuse for not keeping clean.

what the hell do you be doing that you sweat, sh1t and piss on yourself so much that you have to shower every day? reminds me of eric cartman playing world of warcraft. Showering every day is not needed (for most people anyway).

PinkPrincess26

miles teg wrote:

what the hell do you be doing that you sweat, sh1t and piss on yourself so much that you have to shower every day? reminds me of eric cartman playing world of warcraft. Showering every day is not needed (for most people anyway).

_blank_

A shower a day is a must, especially if you live together.

Do you sleep in the same bed and have sex often?

The sweating during sex is like going for a jog imo.

Cancer-chick

Time to get Mr CC away from the old world of warcraft after a nasty glimpse into my future !

Thanks miles !!

Zulu

People - shower every day. It's little wonder so many people stink.



Not showering - it stinks!

Linoge

miles teg wrote:

what the hell do you be doing that you sweat, sh1t and piss on yourself so much that you have to shower every day? reminds me of eric cartman playing world of warcraft. Showering every day is not needed (for most people anyway).

Unless you're wiping your arse with Wet Ones and washing your cock in the sink after you use the toilet you can be pretty sure there will be enough to warrant a shower.

seansouth wrote:

The sweating during sex is like going for a jog imo.

Now thats a good point that nobody can fail to see. You would work up a serious sweat during a session, never mind the body fluids. Spermicide from the condom doesn't feel great either...

Drinking on a Fri/Sat night? You will sweat that out the next day and smell of smoke.

And during any summer, unless you are going from an Air Conditioned house to an AC car to an AC office you are going to sweat more.

Do the posters in here who only shower every other day not drink/smoke/dance/walk/work/have sex?

silvine

miles teg wrote:

what the hell do you be doing that you sweat, sh1t and piss on yourself so much that you have to shower every day? reminds me of eric cartman playing world of warcraft. Showering every day is not needed (for most people anyway).

Not necessarily everyday but twice a week is hardly enough either.

Everyone picks up dirt through out the day. Think of the where you go when you are out and about, the dried sweat, grime, where your hands have been etc.

****ting and pissing on yourself might be an exaggeration but you get the picture. Although if you are a bloke there can still be a few drips remaining even after a good shake of the wee lad!

It's healthier and cleaner to wash more often rather than less.

Anyway, who would you rather cuddle: someone who showered recently or someone who likes to let it all hang out for a few days?