My girlfriend rarely showers

LegacyUser

Ok, I don't know what to do, my girlfriend of 1year whom I love dearly rarely showers, she will shower between 1-2 times a week, am I just being stupid, is this normal? me I have to shower every morning otherwise I just don't feel 'fresh'. I can't imagine how on earth I would ever say it to her without hurting her feelings, I can't even do the whole 'I'd love to have a shower with you' etc because the shower in our flat is tiny, barely enough room for one!

She doesn't actually smell 'bad' but its very off putting getting intimate knowing that she hasn't showered in 4-5 days.

So people tell me am I being silly or is it normal to shower twice a week at most?

dame

That would be normal for children. Maybe they had a crappy shower or a lack of hot water when she was growing up and her family all just showered once/twice a week. If you went for a little jog together in the mornings or something she'd have to shower afterwards. I can't think of any other way to bring it up without being blunt and just saying it.

LegacyUser

I think you're being silly. You said she doesn't smell bad -- does she go to the gym regularly? Play sports? Do anything that might make her sweat profusely?

She probably washes her armpits, groin, feet, etc, individually when needed. It's not necessary to shower every day despite what some overly-sensitive people seem to think.

You said yourself she doesn't smell. It's purely your own psychological need to scrub yourself with steel wool every day that makes it "off-putting" to get intimate with her.

rain on

My other half is a good bit cleaner than I am (I'm sexy like that) and if he wants me to be cleaner he just says 'Will you have a shower before we go to bed?' and I do. Simple as that.

I wouldn't slip as far as twice a week though. Maybe every second day, if I was lazy. Twice a week is a bit ick.

rediguana

Just ask her about it in a fun, light-hearted way, perhaps when ye've had a few drinks. Maybe she has a reason. Nothing's as bad in a relationship as something that's unspoken but important.

I'm with you though, once or twice a week just isn't enough in this day and age.

cast_iron

rediguana wrote:

Maybe she has a reason.

I couldn't think of any reason why she can only shower 1/2 times a week as opposed to every day.

dame

cast_iron wrote:

I couldn't think of any reason why she can only shower 1/2 times a week as opposed to every day.

Maybe she has sensitive skin/allergies/eczema/contact dermatitis and washing too often makes it flare up.

dudara

OP, there is only one way to deal with this. Talk to her. It is never easy raising topics like this with someone, but talk to her.

rediguana

cast_iron wrote:

I couldn't think of any reason why she can only shower 1/2 times a week as opposed to every day.

"When I was in swimming class in primary school, three bullies held me under a freezing shower and nearly drowned me. That's why I hate having showers so much now".

I just mean something like this. Who knows? Just ask her.

Shewhomustbe...

I started reading this expecting the length of time between showers to be at least a couple of weeks, not 1-2 times a week being considered rarely.
That's how often a week I shower and no I do not smell (and that's not just my wish it were true opinion)
I find it weird that people need to shower daily, unless your job is VERY active or you play sport daily and thereby require a freshening up after.
It's not good for the skin to have the natural oils washed away constantly.

StormWarrior

My boyfriend showered only 2-3 times a week and it was not enough! I did ask him to wash more frequently but he got offended and refused to do so, or would do so occassionally under duress. It was very off-putting! When getting intimate sometimes I gagged. Suffice to say, he is now my ex-boyfriend.

chump

I wash once a week, on a sunday before heading back to work on the monday. No need to wash any more than that IMO.

Motley Crue

i would wash every morning (every 2nd day), although if i did some running or jogging i would wash after that too....quick shower about 5 to 10min...i mean i think that unless she washes herself for 30mins under the shower twice a week, or takes baths that you dont know about, you should raise the issue in a sensitive manner with her and just ask her to shower 3 or 4 times a week?

greenkittie

my housemate only showers when his girlfriend comes down from belfast which isnt very often

BeardyGit

StormWarrior wrote:

My boyfriend showered only 2-3 times a week and it was not enough! I did ask him to wash more frequently but he got offended and refused to do so, or would do so occassionally under duress. It was very off-putting! When getting intimate sometimes I gagged. Suffice to say, he is now my ex-boyfriend.

Did he dump you? I would have.... Personal hygiene isn't about showering every day, and it's certainly not about showering to cater to someone elses obsession....

OP, do you live with her? If you don't, how can you be so sure of her showering habits unless you've already discussed this?

coffee_cake

I shower every day, and I find it odd that other people don't. But they really don't seem to. My bf showers say... 2-3 times a week. If it's been a few days and I start noticing a lack of cleanliness I just tell him he needs a shower. He doesn't mind. I'm sure I wouldn't mind if someone told me the same, in fact I'd want to know.
But... at the same time if she doesn't smell or something why is this a problem?

Gil_Dub:
"I can't even do the whole 'I'd love to have a shower with you' etc because the shower in our flat is tiny,"
-I'd say they live together, aye

StormWarrior

Gil_Dub wrote:

Did he dump you? I would have.... Personal hygiene isn't about showering every day, and it's certainly not about showering to cater to someone elses obsession....

No I dumped him (mainly for non shower related reasons.)
If someone smells bad and expects you to get up close and personal with them, I don't see why you shouldn't expect them to wash. It was really rank, especially considering he did a physical job and played sports. Its also just a sign of respect to your other half, if you don't care that they're gagging all the way through when you're getting intimate, you can't care for them very much.

StormWarrior

Gil_Dub wrote:

it's certainly not about showering to cater to someone elses obsession....

And I hardly think expecting someone to shower every day is an obsession.

Tar.Aldarion

Shower with her.

milod

OP, showering frequency is an issue only when a person smells bad - some people are lucky and don't sweat/exude/whatever as much as others so I'd go on empirical evidence and not get too anal about the concept if I were you!

Some folk actually like a person to smell human, though admittedly, there's a thin line between pheromones and a right old stink, but wait til she crosses the line before you get too serious about it...

What was that Napoleon said to Josephine? something like:

"I'll be home in 6 days, don't wash..."

coffee_cake

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Shower with her.

Read the OP again...

Tar.Aldarion

I didn't read it in the first place :P
it's like mine so, squeeze damn you!

Dreamer 7

I shower 2 - 3 times a week, and freshen up when needed. I dont shower every day purley because my hair is mad curls and it takes so long to get it dried right I couldn't possibly do it every day.

Does she have curly hair, its a nightmare believe me

Beetlebum

Dreamer 7 wrote:

I shower 2 - 3 times a week, and freshen up when needed. I dont shower every day purley because my hair is mad curls and it takes so long to get it dried right I couldn't possibly do it every day.

Does she have curly hair, its a nightmare believe me

Curly hair is no excuse! I shower every morning, sometimes in the evening too just because I love the feeling of being fresh & clean and I have really long, thick, hair....one word for you - Showercap.

StormWarrior

Yeah a shower doesn't have to include washing your hair. I shower every day but wash my hair 2-3 times a week.

miles teg

Beetlebum wrote:

...I shower every morning, sometimes in the evening too just because I love the feeling of being fresh & clean ...

you must feel dirty fairly quick... 2 showers a day is a lot. I wash 2 - 3 times a week and that's enough to make me feel fresh and clean all the time. Maybe some people have to wash every day because they have a guilty conscience?

PinkPrincess26

Maybe she just doesnt like the shower, I personally hate it in the morning to cold, even if the heating is on. I love Baths... Maybe she does to... do you have a bath in your flat ??

If you said she doenst smell well then she obviously gives herself a quick underarm/ leg wash everyday...

Also washing your hair everyday is bad for your hair...

Kell

Ao anyways, OP, you have said she doesnt smell and I take it the moist bits dont smell either, so I dont see your problem.

As someone said, if you fancy gettin it on under the sheets of an evening, just ask her to hop in the shower first.

K-

jellie

my bf sweats a lot, which can get pretty smelly, but ive no problem telling him he smells & needs a shower & he has no problem with me telling him so (unless hes secretly crying inside..)

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Glowing

OP, what age is your girlfriend?

I personally wouldn't dream of not showering at least once a day - its just manners isn't it? I don't know why she wouldn't want to anyway, its so refreshing especially now that the weather is getting warmer .....